


Playing House

by shahha



Series: Playing House [1]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-07-19 16:38:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 112,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7369444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shahha/pseuds/shahha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lifelong best friends Ali Krieger and Ashlyn Harris always loved playing house together as children so when Ali gets pregnant, it's a no brainer for Ashlyn to move in and help her raise the baby, bringing them closer than ever before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. positive

Pregnant. The word is big and bold on the screen of the little pregnancy test. No complicated faded lines that leave room for uncertainty, the possibility that it’s not true. Pregnant. The word stares at her, unchanging no matter how many times she shakes the stick, as if it’s an etch a sketch that can be erased with the simple act, gone as if it had never happened. It’s not that Ali Krieger doesn’t want to be a mom, she just didn’t expect that it would happen so _soon._ When she’d imagined becoming a mother, she always pictured doing things in the so called proper order: marriage then baby, maybe a dog in between. She’d never pictured getting pregnant at 24, after dating someone fairly casually for five months. Not with someone she doesn’t picture having much of a future with.

 

She sits on the edge of the bathtub, staring at the positive pregnancy test, wondering what on earth she’s going to do. She mentally runs through a very short list of options, immediately deciding that abortion is simply not one of them. Not that she doesn’t agree with a woman’s ability to choose one but it’s definitely not for her. Besides, as unplanned as this pregnancy is, she can’t help but already feel immense love for the little life inside of her. She lifts her shirt a little, looking down at her still flat stomach, picturing the baby housed in it and feeling a sense of calm wash over her. _I can do this,_ she thinks.

 

Mind made up, she reaches for her cellphone on the bathroom counter, dialing a familiar number.

 

\---

 

Just over an hour away, Ashlyn Harris has just gotten out of a staff meeting when her phone rings. She’s a kindergarten teacher in Orlando, having moved away from Satellite Beach to attend University of Central Florida, student teaching in the area before accepting a full time position after graduation. She loves Orlando, it’s still close to all her family and friends, but she feels a sense of freedom of being out on her own where no one really knows her.

 

“Can you talk?” Ali asks.

 

Ashlyn and Ali have been best friends since they met in first grade. On the first day of school, they were all sitting on the floor for story time when Ashlyn, sitting behind Ali, noticed that Ali’s dark ponytail was falling out. Trying to be helpful, Ashlyn reached her hands out, pulling two pieces in opposite directions to tighten it for her classmate. Ali had whipped her head around, thinking that someone was pulling her hair to be mean, much like her older brother loved to do.

 

“Sorry, I was trying to help,” Ashlyn mumbled sheepishly when Ali accused her of pulling her hair. “It was falling out.”

 

“Oh, thanks,” Ali said, softening.

 

And that was that. Since then, they’d been practically attached at the hip, even when they parted ways for college, Ali attending the University of Florida and Ashlyn attending UCF two hours south.

 

“Yeah, I’m just walking to my car after work,” Ashlyn answers. “What’s up?” Ali takes a deep breath and Ashlyn can hear the unsteadiness of it. It was so subtle that anyone else might not have heard it but after 18 years of friendship, Ashlyn is often more in tune with Ali’s emotions than she is with her own. “Alex, talk to me,” she says gently.

 

“Ash,” Ali whispers, all of her earlier confidence in herself dissipating.

 

Ali goes silent and Ashlyn knows she’s crying. She quickly switches the call to FaceTime as she sits in her parked car. The first thing Ashlyn notices is that Ali is, in fact, crying. The second thing she notices is that Ali is in the bathroom, the shower curtain behind her a dead giveaway. “Alex, whatever it is, I’m here. I’m always here.”

 

Ali takes another deep breath, this one steadying her. “I’m pregnant,” she says so quietly that Ashlyn almost misses it.

 

Ashlyn’s eyes go wide. “Are you sure? Maybe you’re just late.”

 

“I’m sure,” Ali answers, reaching for the pregnancy test, holding it out in front of her phone for Ashlyn to see.

 

“Oh, Alex,” Ashlyn whispers. “What are you going to do? Does Matt know?”

 

“You’re the first person I called but I think I want to keep it. I know I want to keep it, actually.”

 

Ashlyn nods understandingly. Ali has always wanted to be a mother, always insisting that they play house as children while Ashlyn wanted to play outside. They’d compromised more often than not, bringing baby dolls outside, pushing the toy strollers up and down the beach behind Ali’s house, climbing trees together with their dolls tucked into makeshift baby carriers on their backs. The best times were when it was just the two of them in the treehouse in Ali’s backyard, pretending that they were grownups with babies. Now, now there’s a real baby and Ashlyn feels herself recalling those moments as children, remembering how Ali was always the ‘mommy’ and she was always the ‘daddy’ (they hadn’t yet known that children could have two moms or two dads or even just one or the other).

 

“You can do this,” Ashlyn says. “I know you can do this.”

 

Ali smiles at her friend’s confidence in her. “I have to tell Matt,” she says, her face falling.

 

“You do."

 

“I’m gonna do it tonight when he comes over,” Ali announces more for her own benefit than Ashlyn’s. “I’ll let you go, I guess. I’m going to make dinner.”

 

“Let me know how it goes, okay?”

 

Ali nods and Ashlyn can see the apprehension on her face.

 

“I know you can do this, Al. Hell, you used to breastfeed our dolls, remember? It might not be how you planned but this is something you’ve _always_ wanted. You’re going to be an excellent mother. I love you, call me tonight.”

 

“Thanks, Ash. I love you too,” Ali says before hanging up the phone.

 

Ali sits there gathering her thoughts for a few more minutes before heading downstairs to her kitchen. She pauses as she walks by the spare bedrooms in her new (to her) home, opening the door to one and imagining it as a nursery. The crib along the far wall, a changing table under the window, a rocking chair in the corner where she’ll spend countless hours nursing and rocking her baby back to sleep. Maybe she’ll paint it yellow or green, gender neutral until the baby is old enough to pick a color on their own, or maybe she’ll paint it baby pink or blue, depending on what she’s having. A farm theme, a nautical theme, a princess or prince theme. She imagines the baby growing up in this very room, Ali tucking him or her into bed every night, reading  bedtime stories aloud or telling stories about her own childhood, spun like a fairytale. Two princesses who were so different yet so alike that stuck together forever, making the world their own. A story about a prince who leaves the kingdom for a little bit but eventually finds his way back, apologizing for all the time he’d missed. She slides a hand under her shirt, gently rubbing her thumb across the taut skin. “I’m going to do the best I can,” she promises. “We’re gonna be okay.”

 

She continues walking through her house, thankful that she has a relatively well paying job at an advertising firm in nearby Melbourne that allows her to own a three bedroom home by herself, without assistance from her parents--or anyone else, for that matter. She finally reaches her kitchen, scouring the cupboards for something appropriate to make when you tell your sort-of boyfriend that you’re having a baby. Her search is complicated by the fact that her morning sickness had kicked in about a week ago, her continual aversion to certain smells being the last clue that told her she might be pregnant.

 

She finally settles on spaghetti with turkey meatballs, remembering that the smell of grilled burgers had made her sick at her parent’s house the other day and deciding to substitute the beef for lean turkey, hoping the smell of turkey won’t make her sick. She spends the next hour in the kitchen, adding spices from memory before finally setting out two plates. Matt is running late as always, finally ringing the doorbell nearly an hour after he was supposed to arrive.

 

“Where were you?” Ali snaps, a little harsher than she intended.

 

“Sorry, I was with friends and lost track of time,” Matt says as Ali steps aside, letting him into the house. “It smells good,” he says, half genuinely and half trying to get back in Ali’s good graces.

 

She leads him to the kitchen table, only picking at her food as Matt scarfs it down. “I have something to tell you,” she begins when he’s finished, as he’s wiping his mouth with a napkin.

 

“Yeah?” he asks, eyebrows raised.

 

“I’m pregnant."

 

“You’re lying.”

 

Ali rolls her eyes, lifting her hands up in confusion. “Why would I lie about that?”

 

Matt shrugs. “I don’t know. What about birth control and condoms?”

 

“They obviously failed,” Ali replies, getting more and more annoyed with each passing second.

 

“You gonna get rid of it?”

 

Ali shakes her head vigorously. “I’m keeping it,” she says. “I know it wasn’t planned but I’m keeping it.”

 

“I’m not ready to be a dad, Ali,” Matt says. “We’re only 24 can't you do something about it?”

 

“I don’t know what to tell you,” Ali replies, putting her hand on her stomach defensively, already wanting to protect the baby from hardship.

 

“I can’t do this,” he says, getting up from the table. “Call me if you change your mind,” he adds, beginning to walk towards the front door.

 

“Are you fucking serious?” Ali demands, sliding away from the table herself, following him.

 

“Ali, we’ve been seeing each other on and off for like three months--”

 

“Five,” Ali corrects, as if it’ll make a difference.

 

“Five, whatever. I told you I’m not ready to be a dad and I know I’m not going to change your mind.”

 

“What are you saying?” Ali demands.

 

“I’m saying goodbye, Ali. I hope you and the baby have a great life but I really, really can’t do this. I’m not ready for it, I’m not ready to be a dad. Besides, I’m moving back to Dallas. I was gonna tell you tonight.”

 

Ali is strangely calm. Whether it's because she knows she can do this by herself or because she’d never expected this ‘relationship’ would last, she's not sure. But she watches Matt leave without so much as a tear, standing rooted in her spot as he pulls out of the driveway. “I guess it's just you and me, darling,” she whispers, locking the front door.

 

She heads back to the kitchen, firing off a text to Ashlyn to call her as soon as possible. Ashlyn calls within seconds as Ali walks to her living room couch, sitting down and propping her feet up on the ottoman.

 

“How'd it go?” Ashlyn asks, foregoing a greeting.

 

“Well, he left and he's moving to Dallas,” Ali explains.

 

“Wait, he left like left for good?”

 

“Yep. When I told him I'm keeping the baby he said that he's not ready to be a dad and just left. Then he told me that he's moving back to Dallas and that he was gonna tell me tonight.”

 

“Oh, Al,” Ashlyn whispers softly, just imagining how hard this situation is on her best friend. In just twelve hours, she's found out not only that she's having a baby but that she's going to be doing it alone. “I wish there was something I could do.”

 

“Just be there for me,” Ali requests.

 

“Always,” Ashlyn promises. She immediately gets out of bed and throws on a pair of joggers and a more presentable shirt before packing an overnight bag. She gathers her wallet and keys from her kitchen counter and sprints out to her car, hell bent on getting to her best friend’s side. She keeps Ali on the phone for most of the drive but doesn't tell her that she's on her way. She finally hangs up when she stops at a grocery store just outside of Satellite Beach, gathering all sorts of junk food they used to love as children. She nearly grabs a bottle of wine before remembering that Ali can't have wine anymore and instead heads back to the produce section, picking some healthy options for Ali and the baby.

 

She arrives at Ali’s place just fifteen minutes later, ringing the doorbell even though she has a key (she doesn't want to scare Ali to death by just walking in).

 

Ali answers the door cautiously, not expecting a visitor near nine at night. When she sees that it's Ashlyn, she immediately breaks down in tears, opening the door wide enough for Ashlyn to bring all the bags through. “Ashlyn,” she chokes as Ashlyn sets the bags down on the floor, pulling Ali into a bear hug.

 

“Oh, sorry, I don't want to squish you,” Ashlyn says, loosening her grip a little.

 

Ali doesn't respond, instead pulling Ashlyn back in as tight as possible. “You didn't have to come,” she says after they finally pull apart a few minutes later.

 

“I absolutely did,” Ashlyn counters. They pick the bags up off the floor, carrying them into Ali’s kitchen.

 

“Wow, you got everything,” Ali says as they put the groceries away, leaving out things that they want to eat immediately.

 

Ashlyn moves around the kitchen easily, having already memorized where everything is from the handful of times she's visited since Ali moved in. She pulls the blender out of the cupboard, gathering smoothie ingredients from the grocery bags.

 

Ali watches Ashlyn work silently, thankful that she had someone so wonderful in her life. Ashlyn fills a glass to the top for her and drops in a straw before placing it in front of her at the breakfast bar. “Drink up, mommy,” she says.

 

Ali rolls her eyes, taking a big sip. “Mmmm, where’d you get this recipe?”

 

“I looked online for pregnancy smoothies at the grocery store. This one is pineapple and ginger, it's supposed to help with morning sickness.”

 

Ali continues to drink, marveling at Ashlyn’s thoughtfulness. When she's finished, she stands, going over to the sink to rinse her glass.

 

“Well, let me see,” Ashlyn says excitedly, jumping up to sit on the counter as Ali washes the glass.

 

“You can't see anything yet,” Ali protests, drying her hands on a towel.

 

“I don't care. I want to see my little niece or nephew.”

 

Ali laughs at Ashlyn’s excitement. She lifts her shirt to reveal her stomach and watches as Ashlyn hops down off the counter, crouching in front of her.

 

“Hi, baby, I love you” she coos, patting Ali’s stomach. “You have the best mommy in the whole wide world. I know it's true because she still has her dolls from when we were kids while mine all ended up in the trash with missing limbs.”

 

“Ash, don't scare the kid,” Ali playfully chastises.

 

“Sorry,” Ashlyn says. She stands, pulling Ali back into her arms.

 

“Thank you for believing in me,” Ali mumbles against Ashlyn’s shirt.

 

“I've always believed in you. This is no different.”

 

They gather a bunch of junk food, popping a bag of popcorn before heading into the living room to catch up on other things in their lives. Ashlyn tells Ali about the date she went on last weekend. It won't lead to anything, Ashlyn says, but it had been a fun night getting dinner and drinks with a girl she’d met on Tinder.

 

“Well I'm glad you had a good time even if it didn't work out,” Ali says when Ashlyn finishes recounting the date.

 

“Thanks,” Ashlyn responds, grinning. “What are you going to do now? Do you have a doctor’s appointment set?”

 

Ali shakes her head, playing with the frilly ends of her throw blanket. “I found a local doctor online that seems really good but it was too late to call tonight. I’m going to call in the morning. What about you? Don't you have work tomorrow?”

 

“I left a message on the school answering machine taking a personal day for tomorrow. I'm here for the weekend.”

 

“What about Whitney’s birthday party Saturday?”

 

“She’ll understand that you need me more.”

 

“What if we both go?” Ali offers, not wanting Ashlyn to flake on a friend like that. Ashlyn and Whitney were roommates all through college so Ali knows Whit fairly well from all the times she'd visited Ashlyn, crashing at their place. “She invited me and I can use a night with friends, I won't get many in a few months,” she reasons.

 

“Okay,” Ashlyn agrees. “But you know Whit will ask why you're not drinking wine.”

 

Ali shrugs. “I'll tell her the truth, people are going to find out eventually.”

 

“When are you going to tell your parents?” Ashlyn questions.

 

“Maybe after my first appointment. I could give them a sonogram when I tell them. Maybe they’ll be happier if they see the baby. ”

 

Ashlyn gestures for Ali to lay in her lap, playing with her hair. “You think they’ll be upset?”

 

“I don't think they'll be upset but I also don't think they'll necessarily be thrilled either. I mean, I'm not married and Matt and I were never even really officially a couple and now he’s gone. But I think they’ll be okay eventually. I mean, I put off taking the test for over a week because I was so freaked out so it might take them a little while to get used to the idea.”

 

“You're handling this so well, Alex, I couldn't be more proud,” Ashlyn gushes. “You want me to come to your appointment with you?”

 

“You don't have to.”

 

“I know but I want to be there to support you, as long as you want me there.”

 

“I want you there,” Ali says firmly. She pauses, Ashlyn pointing out that Ali’s already so maternal with her hands resting gently on her stomach. Ali laughs, just now realizing that she's had at least one hand on her belly the entire time they've been talking. “It's because I'm queasy,” she jokes but both women know the real reason behind her body language. It's because she's already fallen deeply in love with her baby who is no bigger than a grain of rice but already so, so loved by its mother.

 

“I keep picturing this place with baby toys everywhere,” Ashlyn says as the TV plays in the background.

 

“I know, earlier I couldn’t stop imagining what the nursery will look like. Everything is going to change.”

 

“Are you scared?” Ashlyn asks, running her fingers through Ali’s hair.

 

“I’m fucking terrified,” Ali admits. “But it’s probably good to be terrified when you have your first baby.”

 

Ali, feeling more exhausted than normal, falls asleep early as Ashlyn plays with her hair. Ashlyn lets Ali sleep for a bit before carrying her upstairs to her bedroom, gently laying her down in bed and climbing in on the other side where she’s spent many nights sleeping over.

 

“The baby and I are so lucky to have you,” Ali whispers sleepily as Ashlyn shifts in bed.

 

“I'm lucky to have you both.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was re-watching the show by the same title and this idea wouldn't leave me alone. I'm actually really excited about this one and I'd love to hear your feedback!


	2. orlando

Ashlyn wakes early the next morning to sounds of Ali retching in the bathroom, immediately climbing out of bed and walking to her side, wordlessly taking Ali’s hair and holding it back, much like she’s done after many drunken nights throughout their life.

 

“Thanks,” Ali mumbles, scooching back away from the toilet after she's done emptying her stomach. She lays down in Ashlyn’s lap, too tired to move to brush her teeth.

 

“Not the first or last time I'll have to hold your hair back,” Ashlyn responds. “You want another one of those smoothies? You have to keep something down.”

 

Ali nods, gingerly getting off the floor and going to the sink to brush her teeth while Ashlyn heads downstairs to make Ali another one of the smoothie recipes she’d found online last night, making a little extra for herself. Ali finally joins her in the kitchen five minutes later, looking much more refreshed.

 

As Ali finishes her smoothie, Ashlyn considers making eggs for herself before realizing that the smell might make Ali sick again. Instead, she opts for cereal, laughing when she sits down and Ali immediately steals the bowl and begins eating. “Oh, sure, go ahead,” Ashlyn teases.

 

“Baby needs to eat,” Ali defends, smirking.

 

“I'm not falling for that trick. You've always stolen my food,” Ashlyn counters as she fills another bowl.

 

“You let me take it,” Ali responds. She shrugs, continuing to eat the stolen cereal. When they finish eating, Ali calls her doctor’s office, putting her phone on speaker at Ashlyn’s insistence.

 

On the third ring, a receptionist picks up. “Dr. Sauerbrunn’s office, this is Kelley, how may I help you?”

 

“Hi,” Ali greets brightly. “I took a home pregnancy test yesterday and it was positive so now I'm wondering what the next step is?”

 

“Congratulations!” Kelley exclaims. “First we’ll need to set up an appointment to confirm your pregnancy and estimate a due date. Do you have a preferred date or time?”

 

Ali thinks for a second, mentally going over her schedule. “I get off around one on Thursdays and I have every other Friday off,” she offers.

 

“Let me check our scheduling system,” Kelley says, Ali and Ashlyn hearing the sound of clacking keyboard keys in the background. “We have an appointment available for three pm a week from Thursday. Would that work for you?”

 

Ali looks at Ashlyn, wordlessly asking if she'll be able to attend the appointment on that day. Ashlyn nods, whispering that school will be out by then.

 

“That's perfect,” Ali answers.

 

“Are you an existing patient with Dr. Sauerbrunn?”

 

“No. My name is Alexandra Krieger.”

 

“Okay, Ms. Krieger, I have you set for Thursday after next at three pm. Congratulations again!”

 

“Thank you,” Ali says brightly before hanging up the phone.

 

“Well there's step one complete,” Ashlyn notes when Ali sets her phone on the coffee table.

 

“Step one of a million,” Ali replies, propping her feet up in Ashlyn’s lap, Ashlyn beginning to rub her feet. “I can't thank you enough for going with me and for coming over last night. I don't know what I ever did to deserve you.”

 

“Well you didn't deck me when you thought I pulled your hair in first grade.”

 

Ali laughs, music to Ashlyn’s ears. “That's true. I might've punched anyone else but you looked so cute when you apologized that I knew you didn't do it to be mean.”

 

Ashlyn is about to reply when Ali’s phone rings. She swipes across the screen to take the call as Ashlyn continues gently rubbing her feet. “Hey, mom,” she greets. She pauses for a second, listening to her mom on the other line. “I'm just hanging out at the house with Ashlyn; she came to visit.”

 

“What was that about?” Ashlyn asks once Ali hands up, having only heard Ali agreeing to be somewhere.

 

“Little Allie is having a birthday party three weeks from tomorrow, my mom wanted to know if I could make it. They said you're more than welcome to come if you're in town again.”

 

“I’d love to go,” Ashlyn says, grinning. “I miss that little nugget.”

 

They spend the rest of the morning relaxing in Ali’s living room, digging back into the snacks Ashlyn brought before heading down to the beach two blocks away from Ali’s house. They wade into the water, not going very far, and watch the surfers in the distance, Ashlyn longing to join them but not wanting to leave Ali alone.

 

“You gonna let me and Kyle teach little one to surf?” Ashlyn asks.

 

“Hell no,” Ali responds. “Not unless we wrap them in bubble wrap first.”

 

“I'm sure that can be arranged,” Ashlyn says, playfully splashing Ali.

 

“What if the baby is terrible at surfing like me?” Ali asks, splashing Ashlyn back.

 

“There’s a good chance of that, I’d say. Hopefully Kyle and I can teach them.”

 

“It’s weird,” Ali muses, “I don’t even like surfing that much but knowing that I can’t right now just makes me want to do it.” She floats in the water, enjoying the unique feeling of weightlessness.

 

“Don’t even think about it,” Ashlyn warns, playfully stepping in front of Ali so she can’t see the surfers anymore. “Nothing is happening to you or little bean in there on my watch.”

 

Ali giggles at Ashlyn’s protectiveness, wrapping her arms around her neck from behind and jumping up for a piggy back ride back to the sand. “I wouldn’t dream of it, don’t worry.”

 

Ashlyn carries Ali all the way to where their towels are laid out in the sand, crouching down a little when they arrive so Ali can jump down. They lay on their towels for a little bit, drinking water from Ali’s little cooler as they watch other beach goers. School isn’t yet out for the summer so there aren’t many kids around but there are a lot of adults and college aged kids who are already home for the summer. They can barely see Ali’s parents house from where they sit, and Ali thinks about all the time they’ve spent on this exact beach throughout their lives. As children, they were always supervised at the beach, even when they were just walking near Ali’s backyard with their dolls. As teenagers, however, they used to sneak out of Ali’s house at night, walking thirty yards or so to where several boulders separated a neighbor’s backyard from the public beach. They’d sit there for hours, sometimes even until the sun came up and Ali knew they had to head back before her dad checked on them before leaving for work. Once, when they were fifteen, Ali found out that a boy at school liked her so she asked Ashlyn to teach her how to kiss while sitting in front of the boulders as the sun set. It was Ali’s first kiss and she spent the next several years convincing herself that it being her first kiss was the reason she couldn’t stop thinking about it. It wasn’t because she actually liked kissing Ashlyn, a _girl_ , she reasoned with herself, it was because it was her first kiss and most girls couldn’t stop thinking about their first kiss. They’d never done it again--Ali got plenty of practice kissing when Nick finally asked her out--but it’s a memory that sticks out in Ali’s mind as they sit on the beach together. Now older and wiser, she knows that she always had a bit of a crush on Ashlyn when they were kids. By the time she even realized she likes women in the same way that she likes men, they were both off at college and it seemed like her opportunity to ever be with Ashlyn was long gone.

 

“Whatcha thinking about?” Ashlyn asks, watching Ali as she stares off into the distance.

 

“How nice it was growing up around here,” Ali answers somewhat honestly.

 

“It was a great place to grow up,” Ashlyn agrees. “I miss it sometimes.”

 

“You do?” Ali questions, turning to face Ashlyn. “I thought you love Orlando.”

 

“I do love Orlando but it’s not really home, you know? I miss the ocean being right out my window and I miss being around you all the time.”

 

“I miss you too,” Ali says. Although their friendship is still strong, much stronger than most people’s friendships, living in different cities since graduating high school had tested their relationship in ways they never could have imagined. The hardest time had been the first semester of their freshman year. As kids, they’d only lived two minutes apart, close enough to ride bikes to each other’s houses. So when they went away to different schools, the two hours separating them felt _enormous._ They’d managed to figure things out--advancements in technology keeping them connected when they might’ve lost contact if they were just ten years older--and here they are, six years later, Ashlyn as the first person Ali thought to tell when she saw the positive pregnancy test.

 

\---

 

Later that night, after Ali falls asleep, Ashlyn sits in the guest room, dialing Whitney’s number.

 

“Hey, Ash,” Whitney greets cheerfully.

 

“Hey,” Ashlyn says. “I’m not sure if Ali told you or not but she’s coming to your party with me tomorrow night. I kind of don’t want to leave her alone right now.”

 

“Is everything okay?” Whitney asks gently.

 

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine. She’ll probably tell you tomorrow but she just needs a friend around at the moment but I didn’t want to miss your birthday so it seemed like the best option.”

 

“No worries at all,” Whitney assures. “We’re probably just having wine and watching The Bachelor or something, nothing too crazy.”

 

“What, you mean you don’t want to get shitfaced for your 25th?” Ashlyn jokes, eliciting a laugh from Whitney on the other end of the line.

 

“No, not particularly. I just want cheaper insurance and to be able to rent cars by myself.”

 

This time, it’s Ashlyn who laughs. “My god we’re old,” she says.

 

“At least you still have a few months to go before you turn 25,” Whitney reasons.

 

“Don’t even remind me that it’s coming,” Ashlyn whines. “I can’t wait to see you tomorrow; I hope I recognize you with all your new wrinkles,” she jokes.

 

“I’ll be the one with the walker, shouldn’t be too difficult to spot.”

 

Ashlyn laughs, pausing when she hears Ali calling her from the other room. “I should go, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

“Can’t wait,” Whitney exclaims.

 

Ashlyn ends the call, quickly walking down the hall to Ali’s bedroom, finding her sitting up. “You okay?” Ashlyn asks.

 

Ali nods, rubbing her eyes. “I just got sick and now I can’t fall back asleep. Will you play with my hair?”

 

“Of course,” Ashlyn replies, settling down in bed next to Ali. She’s never been able to deny her anything before and she sure as hell isn’t going to start now, not when Ali is dealing with so much. “Do you miss him?” she asks quietly as she plays with Ali’s hair.

 

“I don’t know,” Ali answers honestly. “I don’t think I do. I mean, everything was still pretty casual.” She pauses, gathering her thoughts. “I’m just sad that I have to do this alone, you know? I’m sad that he’s going to miss out on this baby’s life without a second thought.”

 

“But that’s just it, _he’s_ the one missing out, not you and the baby. Anyone who could leave you like that is not worth your time. And you’re not alone, you’re absolutely not alone.”

 

“You’re going to be more of a parent to this baby than he is,” Ali notes, smiling up at Ashlyn.

 

Ashlyn pauses, imagining a world in which this is her baby. Her and Ali’s baby. The thought brings a smile to her face, although she’s not sure it would be much different from how things are right now. “And I’m never going to leave you. I’m not going to leave either one of you,” Ashlyn vows as Ali begins to nod off.

 

\---

 

They head back to Orlando early the next afternoon, hanging out at Ashlyn’s apartment for a bit before they have to go to Whitney and Ryan’s.

 

“You planning on telling Whit tonight?” Ashlyn asks as Ali does her hair and puts makeup on.

 

“I think so,” Ali says, searching through her makeup bag for her mascara. “It’ll be a nice practice run for when I have to tell other people,” she reasons. Since the night is supposed to be super casual, neither is very dressed up but Ali still wears a nice blouse and leggings, packing a little backpack with sleep clothes in case they decide to stay over.

 

As expected, Whitney greets them at the door with two glasses of wine in hand. Ashlyn gladly accepts hers while Ali shakes her head, politely declining. They’re the first to arrive (Whitney wanted more personal time with the two of them before all her other friends arrived) so when Ali kicks her shoes off, she asks if they can talk in the living room. Ali knows Whitney through Ashlyn but they’ve always been pretty close and bond over shared interests so Ali has no qualms in telling Whitney about her pregnancy even though she’s decided to wait a while longer before telling most people, including her family.

 

When they sit, Whitney begins sipping the second glass of wine, tucking her feet underneath her on the couch. “You okay? I’ve never known you to turn down wine,” she comments, although she has a hunch of what Ali wants to talk about.

 

“Yeah, I’m great, actually,” Ali replies, smiling. “It’s just that I’m pregnant so I’m gonna have to skip the wine tonight.”

 

Whitney smiles. She sets her glass down on the end table and leans forward to hug Ali on the other end of the love seat. “Congrats!” She exclaims. “How’d Matt take it? You’ve only been together a few months, right?”

 

“Well,” Ali begins, chuckling, “he’s not going to be around so that probably says enough about how he took it”.

 

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” Whitney says.

 

Ali shrugs. “Honestly we’re both better off without him. I have my family and my friends and Ashlyn’s already been taking good care of me so we’ll be okay.”

 

“Does your family know yet?”

 

“No, not yet. I only found out on Thursday so I’m still processing everything myself. I have an appointment for a week from Thursday but I might wait until my second trimester, just to be safe.”

 

“Well I’m always in your corner if you ever need help,” Whitney offers. She pauses, smiling at the woman sitting across from her. “So what are you hoping for?” she questions.

 

“Honestly, I’d be fine with either but I would love to have a little girl,” Ali answers, brushing her thumb over her stomach. “I’d know how to raise a girl better and I think it would be a little easier since it’s my first and I’ll be a single mom.”

 

“You’re going to be great either way,” Ashlyn assures from her place on the other couch. “I think you would be an exceptional mom to a girl but you and Kyle have always been so close so I’d think you’d be equally as good with a boy.”

 

“I completely agree,” Whitney says.

 

“Thanks, you guys, that means a lot,” Ali replies, getting a little emotional. “God, this is going to be a long nine months if I keep crying every five minutes,” she jokes, dabbing carefully at her eyes. “Anyway, how’s Ryan doing?”

 

Whitney smiles, thinking of her boyfriend of four years. “He’s great. He’s hanging with his friends tonight I think he was pretty thankful that I have other people to catch up on The Bachelor with tonight.”

 

“Who’s place is he at? Maybe I should join them,” Ashlyn jokes, standing up as if she’s going to leave.

 

“Nice try,” Whit says as someone else knocks on the door. “Now you have to get the door because you’re the only one standing.”

 

“Better for me to make my escape,” Ashlyn quips, crossing the small room to open the door.

 

“Hey,” Syd and Alex greet simultaneously, both with bottles of wine in hand. Both women work with Whitney so Ashlyn doesn’t know them terribly well but they’re always fun and greet Ashlyn with a quick hug before heading farther inside to greet Whitney and Ali, whom they’ve never met.

 

HAO, one of Ashlyn and Whitney’s friends from college, joins them a few minutes later and they all finally settle down onto the couches, Ali leaning into Ashlyn’s side as they watch The Bachelor. Nobody pays much attention, of course, as they continue to drink wine and gossip about their own lives. Just after the first episode, Syd goes around the room, refilling everyone’s wine glasses. “Not drinking wine?” she asks Ali curiously as she refills Ashlyn’s glass.

 

Ali shakes her head. “I’m not feeling too hot right now so I’m sticking with water. Thank you though,” Ali replies, breathing a sigh of relief when Syd doesn’t press her on it, instead making a comment about how there’s more for everyone else.

 

By the third episode, Ali is sound asleep on Ashlyn’s shoulder, despite the fact that the conversations filling the room have only gotten louder the more everyone drinks.

 

“I didn’t know you had a girlfriend, Ash,” Alex comments, gesturing to a sleeping Ali.

 

Whitney almost spits out her wine at Alex’s comment, thinking back to all the other times Ali and Ashlyn have been mistaken for a couple throughout the years.

 

“Oh, Ali and I are just childhood friends,” Ashlyn explains. “We’ve been best friends since first grade.”

 

“Could’ve fooled me,” Alex comments as she takes another sip of wine, eyebrows raised.

 

Ali stirs a few minutes later, head jerking off of Ashlyn’s shoulder, looking around the unfamiliar room.

 

“Hey, sleepyhead,” Ashlyn says, grinning when Ali finally realizes where she is and settles.

 

“Sorry guys,” Ali says, rubbing her eyes. She tries to rejoin the fun, even starting a game of Cards Against Humanity with everyone else but keeps nodding off throughout the game. After her third time falling asleep, Whitney gently taps her on the shoulder, telling her she’s more than welcome to sleep in the guest room.

 

“Man, I’ve never seen Ali like this,” HAO comments as Ali sleepily walks down the hall towards the bedroom. “I always remember her as the life of the party.”

 

Ashlyn and Whitney shrug. “She’s been pretty under the weather the last few days but didn’t want to miss tonight, she’ll be okay,” Ashlyn covers, turning over the cards to select a winner for the round, diverting everyone’s attention back to the game so they don’t ask too many questions about Ali. She’s sure Ali wouldn’t mind her telling them the real reason for her sleepiness but she can’t bring herself to tell her friend’s news like that.

 

Once everyone else leaves, Whitney helps Ashlyn make a little bed on the couch (Ali’s spread out on the full size bed in the guest room and Ashlyn doesn’t have the heart to make her move), offering her extra pillows and blankets to make it more comfortable.

 

When Ali wakes the next morning, Whitney and Ashlyn are already in the kitchen drinking coffee and eating bacon, the combination of smells forcing Ali to run to the bathroom, barely making it in time. By the time she returns to the kitchen, all the bacon has  been put away and Whitney and Ashlyn have switched to glasses of water. “Sorry,” Ali mumbles, taking a seat next to Ashlyn at the table.

 

“No worries,” Whitney says brightly. “How’d you sleep?”

 

“Like a baby,” Ali replies, laughing at her own unintended joke. “I swear, I’m going to need to start taking naps during my lunch hour when I go back to work tomorrow.”

 

“That bad?” Whitney questions.

 

“Not as bad as puking my guts out and the mood swings.”

 

Whitney nods sympathetically as Ashlyn excuses herself to make toast for everyone, figuring that the smell won’t make Ali sick and that it’s something she’ll be able to keep down. Plus, she’d had a little too much to drink the night before (they’d switched to harder liquor after Ali went to bed) and could use something to settle her stomach as well. They hang around and chat for a bit as they eat their toast before they say their goodbyes. Ashlyn has to drop Ali off at home in Satellite Beach before returning to Orlando so she can prepare for work tomorrow.

 

“Thanks for everything,” Ali says when she gets out of Ashlyn’s car that afternoon.

 

“Don’t mention it,” Ashlyn replies. “Call me if you need anything, okay? I’ll be here for your appointment next week but I can come this weekend if you need me to.”

 

Ali smiles, shifting her overnight bag to the other shoulder. “You’re the best. Text me when you make it home safe.”

 

“Okay, mom,” Ashlyn playfully groans, winking.

 

“Watch your tone, young lady.”

 

“Ohhhh, that was good, you almost had me scared,” Ashlyn replies, Ali nearly doubling over in laughter. “See you next week,” she adds, putting her car in reverse and pulling out of the driveway.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the great response to this new story!
> 
> Favorite parts/ lines? Any predictions? 
> 
> Things really get going (story wise not necessarily relationship wise) next chapter with Ali's first appointment


	3. promise

Ashlyn asks Ali for a bump update picture every day for the next week and a half and every day Ali tells her there's nothing to see yet but sends one anyway, thankful to have someone who cares so much in her and the baby's life. It’s become a routine for Ashlyn to text her at exactly 7:15am, as she knows Ali starts getting dressed for work at that time every morning without fail (Ali has always been the type for structure, thriving on a time schedule while Ashlyn prefers to go with the flow). Although Ali makes fun of her for it, she anxiously awaits the the text every morning, checking herself out in the bathroom mirror to see if anything has changed before snapping a picture of her profile, sending it to Ashlyn as soon as her request comes in. On Thursday morning, Ali beats Ashlyn to the punch by sending her a picture at 7:13 just before she gets ready for a short day of work. She's definitely not showing yet and likely won't for at least another month but most of her clothes are snug and she makes a mental note that they should go shopping after her appointment. Ashlyn texts back quickly, telling Ali how cute she is and how she can't wait to get on the road to get to the appointment. They agree to meet at Ali's place and when Ali walks in the door shortly after one o’clock, Ashlyn already has lunch prepared. 

 

"I figured you would need some fuel after work," Ashlyn explains, fixing Ali a plate of macaroni and cheese casserole.

 

Ali sits down at the kitchen table, eagerly waiting for Ashlyn to put her plate down. “Thank you, I’m starving,” she says, immediately digging in. “God, I forgot how good this is.”

 

Ashlyn smiles, gathering a bite onto her own fork. “I figured it was something you’d be able to keep down. I know a lot of things have been making you sick.”

 

“Oh, god, that reminds me that today at work, one of my coworkers was eating a Slim Jim at his desk. I  _ barely  _ made it to the bathroom in time.”

 

“Who the fuck eats Slim Jims anyway?” Ashlyn questions. “Even I would’ve thrown up if I saw a grown man eating a Slim Jim,” she pauses, thinking back to a favorite movie of their childhood. “You know what they make those things out of, Chet?”

 

“Lips and assholes,” Ali finishes, laughing. “God, Chris and his friends were  _ obsessed  _ with that movie.”

 

“Yeah and they wouldn’t let us watch anything else,” Ashlyn recalls. 

 

They take their time eating and cleaning up, putting the leftovers away in the fridge before they have to leave. Ali wore a dress to work, and Ashlyn has the foresight to suggest that she switch to a t-shirt and shorts just before they leave, predicting that they’ll want to do an ultrasound which might require Ali to lift her shirt. 

 

“Look at how tight these are,” Ali comments, trying to button her dark denim shorts. “I just wore these to my parents house less than three weeks ago.”

 

“And here you keep telling me there’s no bump to see,” Ashlyn notes, rolling her eyes. 

 

“I’m not showing yet,” Ali defends, lifting her shirt a little to show Ashlyn her still flat stomach. “Everything is just really tight. God, even my bras are already too small.” She finally lays down on the bed in a last ditch effort to get her shorts buttoned, wishing they were just half a size bigger. After a few more tries, she still can’t quite get them buttoned so she throws her head back in frustration. 

 

“How about leggings,” Ashlyn suggests. “Something super stretchy.”

 

Ali groans, fighting back the tears forming in her eyes, knowing they’re completely irrational. “That’s my favorite pair of shorts,” she chokes out, sniffling. 

 

Ashlyn is incredulous as Ali starts crying over something so small, feeling incredibly sympathetic towards her friend but finding it a little funny at the same time. “They’ll be there next summer,” she offers, trying to calm Ali. Her words have the opposite effect, however, as Ali starts crying even harder, covering her face with shaky hands as she sobs. Ashlyn stands by the bed for a few minutes, not knowing how to calm Ali down for the first time in their lives. When Ali finally stops crying, she gets off of the bed and crosses the room to find a pair of leggings, both women acting like the last five minutes hadn’t happened. 

 

Despite the freakout, they make it to Ali’s appointment ten minutes early, signing in at the desk. 

 

“You can have a seat,” Kelley says brightly. “Dr. Sauerbrunn will be with you in just a few moments.”

 

“Thank you,” Ali replies, finding two open seats in the corner of the waiting room. Ashlyn grabs a few pregnancy pamphlets from the table to her left, reading them as Ali bounces her leg up and down, unable to control her nerves. 

 

“Alex,” Ashlyn says softly after finishing the first pamphlet, Ali still bouncing her leg. “It’s fine, you’re fine,” she reassures. 

 

Ali doesn’t reply, still bouncing her leg.

 

“Okay,” Ashlyn begins, drawing out the word as she puts the brochure away. “Remember the game we used to play as kids? When we would pick strangers and make up their life story? Let’s do that.”

 

“Okay,” Ali says, nodding. She looks around the room, surveying their options. She ultimately picks a couple that appears to be in their mid 40s, both watching the TV in the waiting room. 

 

“Divorcees, both of them,” Ashlyn decides, starting to build their imaginary life. 

 

“She looks really calm, so she and her ex-husband already have one, maybe two kids,” Ali adds, her leg finally still. 

 

“He’s a workaholic which is why his previous marriage ended before they had kids. He’s turned over a new leaf though, and he’s excited to be a dad even though he’ll be really fucking old when that kid graduates high school.”

 

Ali laughs loudly, drawing the attention of nearly everyone in the waiting room. She blushes, turning her head away from the attention. She’s about to continue playing their game when a woman in a white coat steps into the waiting room, calling her name. 

 

“You got this,” Ashlyn reassures as Ali gathers her purse, both walking towards the doctor. 

 

“I’m Doctor Sauerbrunn, nice to meet you,” she says, shaking Ali’s hand. 

 

“Alexandra but you can call me Ali.”

 

“Ashlyn,” Ashlyn says when Dr. Sauerbrunn reaches to shake her hand. 

 

The young doctor leads them back to an examination room, telling Ali to take a seat on the little table and offering a stool to Ashlyn. “So you had a positive home pregnancy test, is that correct?” she questions, looking down at Ali’s mostly blank chart on her iPad. 

 

“Yes,” Ali confirms. 

 

“First we’re going to have you take one of our tests by providing a urine sample. It’s essentially the same thing as the home tests but we like to have the confirmation for your chart, is that okay?” Ali nods so she continues, “once we get that out of the way, we’ll draw some blood for blood work, record your weight, and I’ll take your blood pressure. We’ll also estimate how far along you are and a due date and then we can listen for your baby’s heartbeat and get you some sonogram pictures. Sound good?”

 

“That sounds perfect,” Ali replies, smiling.

 

With the formalities out of the way, Dr. Sauerbrunn sends Ali to the bathroom down the hall with a sterile cup for her urine sample. When Ali returns to the examination room, she watches curiously as the doctor examines the results. When she turns back around with a big smile on her face, Ali knows that the test was positive (not that she had any doubt at this point). “You are definitely pregnant,” Dr. Sauerbrunn says. “So now I have some questions for you so I can fill in your chart and get to know you a little better.”

 

“Got it,” Ali replies, sitting on her hands on the examination table, swinging her legs back and forth, the methodic tapping of her heels against the wooden legs a minor comfort. 

 

“Date of birth?”

 

“July 28, 1991,” Ali replies. 

 

“Did you ladies do in vitro or artificial insemination?”

 

Ali pauses, confused by the question. “I’m sorry, what?” she asks before realizing why the doctor asked that particular question. “Oh, no, we’re not a couple,” Ali corrects. “Ashlyn is my good friend. I got pregnant the natural way but the baby’s father is no longer in the picture.”

 

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I just assumed, my apologies.”

 

“It’s okay,” Ali replies. 

 

“When did your last period start? You can estimate if you don’t remember exactly.”

 

Ali thinks back, trying to remember. “It was about a week before Mother’s Day,” she finally answers. 

 

“Ironic,” Ashlyn mumbles. 

 

Ali rolls her eyes, turning her head slightly to see Ashlyn smirking, clearly proud of herself. “Behave back there,” she playfully admonishes. 

 

The doctor nods, adding the information to Ali’s chart on her tablet. “That would make you about seven weeks and four days pregnant and we should be looking at a due date of February 5,” she says. “Have you been experiencing nausea, mood swings, or cravings yet?”

 

“Yes to all three,” Ali answers. 

 

“Perfectly normal for someone as far along as you are. The nausea and cravings should lessen once you enter your second trimester, especially the nausea, but I’m sorry to tell you that the mood swings are here for the long haul.”

 

“I figured,” Ali replies, laughing. 

 

The move through the other basics of the appointment quickly until it’s finally time for a sonogram. Doctor Sauerbrunn gives Ali a little paper gown to change into, both her and Ashlyn quietly stepping out of the room so Ali can change. When they return, Ali is flat on her back on the examination table, putting her feet up in the stirrups as instructed. Finally, after what feels like an eternity of the doctor moving the little wand around inside her, she hears what sounds suspiciously like a heartbeat coming through the monitor’s speakers. 

 

“That’s your baby’s heartbeat,” Doctor Sauerbrunn says once she hears it. “It’s nice and strong, which we always listen for.” She freezes the image on screen. “And that is your baby, right there in the center.”

 

“It’s  _ tiny, _ ” Ashlyn exclaims, standing up to get a closer look. “Oh my god, Alex, that’s your baby,” she says, voice full of wonder. Not hearing a response from Ali, she turns around to see her sitting there in shock, mouth hanging open. 

 

“It’s about the size of a large blueberry right now and is just going to get bigger every single day,” Dr. Sauerbrunn explains. She takes a few measurements, making note of them in her iPad before removing the little wand and handing Ali printed copies of the sonogram, along with a business card and six different pamphlets that Ashlyn recognizes from the waiting room. “You’re all set for today, you can schedule your next appointment at the front desk but in the meantime, don’t hesitate to call or email me if you have any questions about your pregnancy, okay?” 

 

Ali nods, still a little stunned. She carefully climbs down off the table, slipping back into her clothes after the doctor and Ashlyn leave the room. Ali gets dressed quickly, carefully putting the pamphlets and sonogram pictures in her purse before heading to the front desk. She schedules her next appointment exactly four weeks out, just three days shy of the twelve week milestone. 

 

By the time they get to the car, Ali is struggling to breathe with the heaviness of her situation finally sinking in, feeling as if she's going to be crushed by the stress of it all. She rests her head against the passenger seat, trying to catch her breath.

 

“Deep breaths, Alex, it’s okay,” Ashlyn urges, beginning to panic herself as Ali gets more and more worked up. “Alex, please,” she pleads. 

 

“I can’t do this,” Ali finally says. “I can’t do this.”

 

Ashlyn takes her hand over the center console, squeezing it tight. “Of course you can do this.”

 

Ali shakes her head vigorously, beginning to cry. “I having a baby I can’t do it, Ash, I can’t do it. How am I supposed to raise a baby all by myself?” She loses her breath again as she sobs even harder. 

 

“You can do this, I know you can,” Ashlyn assures her. “Please breathe.”

 

“How, Ashlyn? I can’t be a single mom. How am give this baby the life it deserves when it's just me? I can’t do it alone.” 

 

“I’m here,” Ashlyn says, pulling Ali into as much of a hug as she can inside the car. Ali cries against her chest for a few moments, Ashlyn gently rocking them back and forth, trying to calm Ali. “I’ll be there every step of the way. You know how I know that? I’m going to find a job back here and move in with you.”

 

Ali takes a few deep breaths, calming herself. “You can’t just leave your job for me,” she reasons. 

 

“Of course I can,” Ashlyn replies. “I’m a kindergarten teacher with no seniority. You need me here. I’ll move into your spare bedroom and I’ll help you raise the baby, okay? Let me do this for you.” She’s pleading at this point, even though she’s the one offering help. 

 

“You’d really do that for me? For us?” Ali asks quietly, hiccuping. 

 

“I would do anything for you,” Ashlyn promises. “Anything in the entire world.” 

 

“Thank you,” Ali says, snuggling closer into Ashlyn’s shoulder. She’s quiet for a moment, settling herself. “I promise I won’t make you be the ‘daddy’ this time,” she vows, eliciting a laugh from Ashlyn. 

 

“You sure about that? You were pretty unrelenting about that when we played house as kids. You always told me that mommies wear dresses and brush their hair and that I couldn’t be the mommy because I hated both of those things.”

 

This time, it’s Ali who laughs, not stopping until her stomach hurts and there are fresh tears in her eyes. “Hey, that was pretty solid logic for a six year old,” she argues. “Although we did later learn that kids can have two moms and not every mom wears dresses so I made you be the dad for nothing.” 

 

“Well, it looks like we’ll have a second chance at that,” Ashlyn says. “But I’ll be whatever you want me to be, even if you revert back to your first grade logic.”

 

“Cross my heart I won’t revert back to that,” Ali says, brushing her hand over her heart for emphasis. “You really don’t have to move in with me.”

 

“Too late, I’ve made up my mind. Now quit trying to talk me out of it and accept that I love your little spawn enough to help raise it.”

 

Ali pulls back from Ashlyn’s arms, pretending to be offended. “I knew you weren’t just offering to be a good friend,” she jokes. 

 

“Hey, you have to learn to share my love now. I have a new best friend.”

 

“Oh yeah?” Ali asks, quirking an eyebrow. “They better not be cuter than me. Otherwise, I think this is over.”

 

“I’m pretty sure they are even cuter than you. I know, I know, I never thought it would be possible either,” Ashlyn quips, unable to dodge Ali’s playful slap in the small car. 

 

“Just as cute,” Ali corrects, crossing her arms defiantly. 

 

“Just as cute,” Ashlyn agrees. “Now let’s see a picture of this kid.”

 

Ali smiles, reaching into her purse to pull out the sonogram photo. She hadn’t been able to focus on it in her haze in the office, feeling like she was looking right through it. She studies it now, handing the second copy to Ashlyn. “That’s my baby,” she marvels, really looking at it for the first time. 

 

“Your tiny little blueberry,” Ashlyn says, equally amazed as she looks at her own copy of the picture. She brings the picture closer to her face, studying every millimeter of the image. “Look, you can see the little arms,” she says. 

 

“Oh my god,” Ali whispers. She starts to get choked up again, realizing that the tiny person in this picture is inside of her  _ right now _ and is growing bigger and stronger with every passing minute. Five minutes ago, that knowledge pushed her towards the brink of a full blown panic attack but now, with Ashlyn’s promise of permanent, unwavering support, the thought amazes her and fills her with wonder and excitement. “It doesn’t look like a baby yet,” she notes. 

 

“No, not yet. But it will soon enough.”

 

“I don’t care, I love them already,” Ali gushes, resting one hand on her stomach and holding the sonogram with the other. “Best thing that jerk ever did for me.” She pauses, continuing to study the sonogram before finally deciding to take a picture of it with her phone, setting it as her lockscreen. “Thanks for talking me through that,” she says. 

 

“Anytime,” Ashlyn replies, starting the car. “Now I think we had a shopping trip planned because  _ someone  _ had a total meltdown about a pair of shorts not fitting anymore.”

 

“I don’t know who you’re talking about but I’m always down for shopping,” Ali replies, grinning as Ashlyn puts the car in gear and navigates them to their local mall. 

 

They stop at Target first so Ali can pick up an additional pair of the now infamous shorts, selecting one that’s two sizes bigger than her normal size. At the moment, she really only needs it to be one size bigger but she figures she would grow out of those pretty quickly. They browse the maternity section for a few minutes, not buying anything--she’s not quite ready for that step yet--but getting an idea of the styles that will be available to her when she makes the switch in a few weeks or months. She takes quite a few items into the fitting rooms, Ashlyn telling her that she’s going to look at the shoes but heading straight for the baby department instead. She walks up and down the aisles, taking in all of the products Ali will need in the coming months before she finally gets to a section of plush toys, grabbing a huge stuffed shark off of the shelf and excitedly walking back towards the fitting rooms just as Ali finishes up. 

 

“What the hell is that?” Ali asks when she sees the shark in Ashlyn’s hand. 

 

“It’s a shark,” Ashlyn replies, moving the bottom jaw up and down, pretending to bite Ali’s arm with it. “What’s that?” she asks, holding the shark’s mouth up to her ear as if she’s listening to it. “He says you don’t taste very good.”

 

“Well I can safely say that’s the first time I’ve heard that. Usually it’s the opposite,” Ali replies, playfully sticking her tongue out. 

 

Ashlyn pretends to gag, rolling her eyes. 

 

“Hey, how do you think I got pregnant?” Ali asks, shrugging. 

 

“If women could get pregnant from getting eaten out, I probably would’ve gotten at least three pregnant by now,” Ashlyn jokes, earning a slap to the arm.

 

“I wasn’t talking about that; I meant sex in general, you jackass.”

 

“Can I buy this though?” Ashlyn asks. “For the baby,” she clarifies when Ali tells her she can buy whatever she wants. 

 

“If you want to,” Ali replies, shrugging. “How much is that thing anyway?”

 

“I’m not telling you because you’ll make me put it back.”

 

“Fair enough,” Ali says. “Put it in the cart.”

 

They walk around for a few more minutes, Ali picking up some groceries and a few bottles of prenatal vitamins Dr. Sauerbrunn recommended. She also wanders down the shampoo aisle, remembering that the smell of her current shampoo has started to make her sick. She selects a few different types of shampoo and conditioner, just to be safe. 

 

“You’re really going to move in with me?” Ali asks as they walk around the mall after leaving Target. 

 

“Yes, I’m really moving in with you,” Ashlyn replies. “Guess we have two rooms to decorate now.”

 

“You have to do all the painting, I don’t think I should be inhaling those fumes,” Ali says as they walk through Bed, Bath and Beyond. Between the stuff they both already own, Ashlyn shouldn’t need too much of anything when she moves in but they browse just the same, picking up a few fresh towels, including a hooded infant one that looks like an elephant, reasoning that it will work whether it’s a boy or a girl. “Ugh, it’s too cute, I can’t,” Ali says pulling the baby’s towel out of the bag as they exit the store. 

 

“I want to buy every single animal they had,” Ashlyn says.

 

“Maybe I’ll register for a few more,” Ali offers, running her hands over the soft material. Seeing her baby, although it doesn’t yet look like a baby, has made everything feel so much more  _ real _ and she imagines herself giving the baby the bath, wrapping it up in this little towel. She also pictures using the towel on many trips to the beach with the baby and Ashlyn, standing on the shore and dipping the baby’s toes into the ocean, giving him or her a feel for the water that shaped so much of her and Ashlyn’s childhood. She puts the towel back in the bag, looking over at Ashlyn. “I know I freaked out earlier but I really am excited to be a mom,” she confesses. 

 

“I know you are,” Ashlyn replies. Ali hasn’t really talked about her excitement yet but Ashlyn knew it was there, overshadowed by all of her doubts and worries. It’s in the little things: the near constant hand on her stomach (though she really only does it in private as she hasn’t yet announced her pregnancy to anyone else); the uncontrollable nose crinkling smile when they try to imagine what the baby will look like, Ali’s face so full of delight and love; the pile of pregnancy and parenting books already on her coffee table and nightstand. She even has an entire pinterest account dedicated to everything baby related: how to announce it to friends and family, maternity photos she wants to emulate, and more nursery designs than Ashlyn ever thought possible. “You’re gonna do a great job.”

 

“We’re gonna do a great job,” Ali corrects. “You’re part of the team now. Baby, mommy, and not quite mommy but might as well be.”

 

Ashlyn can’t control her smile as they enter the next store.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts so far? Favorite parts and/ or lines? Predictions? 
> 
> Thanks for all the wonderful feedback on this so far! I'm glad you're all enjoying this as much as I am.


	4. home

Three weeks later, Ashlyn packs up her apartment in Orlando to move in with Ali. She still has a few months left on her lease in Orlando so she’s subletting it to a newly married couple until her lease is up in the winter. She doesn’t tell Ali, not wanting to make her feel guilty, but the hardest part of the move is leaving her job. She’s only been at the school for two years but she is friends with a lot of her fellow teachers and really likes her school district making it a hard job to walk away from. But she manages to get a wonderful letter of recommendation from the principal and secures a job at a school in Satellite Beach, taking over Mrs. Rampone’s kindergarten classroom in the wake of her retirement.

 

When she and Chris (she’d enlisted his help after explaining the situation to him) pull up to Ali’s house in the moving truck, Ali is already waiting on the front porch, anticipating their arrival.

 

“You’re here,” she exclaims, jogging to hug Ashlyn when she jumps out of the truck.

 

“Hey,” Chris calls. “Less hugging, more unloading. I’ve got shit to do later.”

 

“Sorry, Chris,” Ali says, walking around to the back of the truck to help unload.

 

“Nothing too heavy, okay?” Ashlyn says.

 

“When have you ever known me to voluntarily lift heavy things, pregnant or not?” Ali says, grabbing a box labeled ‘clothes’.

 

“Touché,” Ashlyn replies as she and Chris begin unloading some of the larger items.

 

The entire process takes just over an hour and Ashlyn has never been more thankful that she had a small one bedroom apartment in Orlando. They move everything into one of Ali’s empty bedrooms (she hadn’t yet turned it into a guest room so thankfully there’s nothing in there). Chris leaves once all the heavy stuff is in place, both women thanking him profusely for his help. Once they’re alone, Ali sits on Ashlyn’s bed as Ashlyn puts her clothes and shoes away.

 

“Let me see,” Ashlyn says.

 

“I sent you a picture this morning, I promise you nothing has changed,” Ali replies.

 

“Please,” Ashlyn wines, sticking her bottom lip out.

 

Ali groans, getting off of Ashlyn’s super comfortable bed. She stands in front of her, lifting her shirt and pulling the waistband of her athletic shorts down a little. “No bump yet,” she says, a hint of sadness in her voice.

 

“It won’t be long though, right? All the books say around twelve weeks and you’re eleven now,” Ashlyn reasons.

 

“You’ve been reading pregnancy books?” Ali questions, laying back down on the bed.

 

“Duh,” Ashlyn replies as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world because to her, it is. She’d purchased a stack of pregnancy and parenting books at a bookstore back in Orlando the day after she made her promise to Ali. The cashier, a woman about ten years older than her own mother, had congratulated her on the baby. _You must be so excited_ , Ashlyn remembers her saying, the words sticking with her three weeks later. She hadn’t known what to say, how to explain the situation to a stranger, so she smiled politely. _I can’t wait._ It wasn’t a lie or even a fib--it was her wholehearted truth. But she let the woman believe it was her baby and left the shop. After, she picked up an iced coffee and drove down to Lake Eola and sat under the shade of a tree for hours, reading about all the changes Ali and the baby will go through in the next seven months. Some of the things she already knew: the sore and swollen breasts, mood swings, fatigue. But others? Others she had a hard time wrapping her head around, reading the words over and over, amazed at what Ali’s body is doing. She spent extra time reading (and memorizing) everything about the changes to come in the next few weeks of Ali’s pregnancy, flabbergasted at how _fast_ the baby is doubling, tripling in size.

 

Ali smiles at Ashlyn’s dedication as she scrolls through pinterest on her phone, adding new things to her baby boards while Ashlyn continues to put her clothes away.

 

They fall into an easy rhythm over the next few days. School is still out for the summer so Ashlyn is not yet working which allows her to ease back into life in Satellite Beach. Ali continues to work so Ashlyn keeps up with household duties and makes dinner every night, often having to switch things up midway through cooking them as Ali texts her with her new craving of the day. As unique as their situation is, neither woman thinks anything of it as they form a new routine, their new normal.

 

Ali’s second appointment comes four weeks to the day after her first and both women are unable to control their excitement as they drive to Dr. Sauerbrunn’s office. By the time Ali is called back, she’s bouncing with excitement, a vast improvement over her shaking with nerves during the last appointment.

 

First, Dr. Sauerbrunn takes a blood sample, explaining to Ali that it will be tested to evaluate risks of birth defects based on the presence or absence of certain proteins. Like the last appointment, she takes Ali’s blood pressure and weight, mentioning that she’s right on track with her three pound weight gain thus far. “Okay,” she says brightly, making note of everything on her iPad. “We’re going to do a 3D ultrasound now and get you some new pictures of your baby.”

 

Thankfully, Ali is now far enough along to do an abdominal ultrasound so she lays back on the table and lifts her shirt. Dr. Sauerbrunn spreads a cold gel on her stomach before grabbing the little wand, moving it over Ali’s belly until she locates the baby. “Wow,” Ali gasps. “It’s a lot bigger.”

 

“It is,” Dr. Sauerbrunn replies, smiling. She pauses the image, studying it carefully. “Everything seems to be developing normally,” she assures, checking the baby’s head for any signs of the birth defects the blood tests will check for. “It’s just shy of five centimeters long. It might even be five by the end of the appointment.”

 

“It looks more like a baby now,” Ashlyn comments from beside Ali. She’s been quiet up until this point, not really needing to say much but just being there for Ali.

 

Dr. Sauerbrunn prints a few copies of the ultrasound, removing the wand from Ali’s stomach and handing her a paper towel to wipe the gel off with. “We should have the results of your blood work back by Monday and we’ll give you a call but from what I can tell, the baby looks healthy and is developing at a normal rate so you can announce your pregnancy to family and friends whenever you feel comfortable now. You’ll be in your second trimester by the next time I see you and you should start gaining about a pound a week starting within the next couple of weeks so don’t freak out when your body starts changing quickly, okay? I cannot tell you how many emails I get from women wondering if they’re gaining weight too quickly. Based on the baby’s development and your frame, you should start showing any day now.”

 

“I’m so excited for that,” Ashlyn comments.

 

Ali rolls her eyes, laughing. “She asks to check for a bump every single day,” she explains.

 

“Well she’s a good friend,” Dr. Sauerbrunn replies, smiling at the two. “You’re all set,” she says. “Feel free to call or email if you have any concerns.”

 

“Thanks, Doctor,” Ali replies, pulling her shirt down as Ashlyn helps her climb down from the table. She pauses just as they’re about to exit the room. “When should we be able to tell what I’m having?” she asks.

 

“Usually around twenty weeks. So not at your next appointment but we’ll likely be able to tell at the one after that depending on what position the baby is in,” she explains.

 

“Awesome, thank you,” Ali replies just before they exit the exam room.

 

As soon as they get in the car after scheduling her next appointment for just over a month away, Ali excitedly takes a picture of the new sonogram, setting the updated image as her lockscreen. “Look at the little head,” she gushes, holding the physical copy of the photo where Ashlyn can see it.

 

“Little?” Ashlyn asks, incredulous. “It’s like twice the size of the rest of their body.”

 

“Be nice,” Ali warns tersely.

 

“I didn’t say anything mean,” Ashlyn defends. “I just said the kid has a big head because it has a big brain like their mommy.”

 

“Nice save,” Ali replies. She returns her attention to the sonogram picture, looking at it lovingly. “I can’t get over it,” she whispers a few moments later, shaking her head in disbelief.

 

“I know, Al, I know,” Ashlyn replies, gently rubbing Ali’s arm. “It’s so badass, you know? You’re making a _person._ It’s so cool and you’re so strong and brave and you’re going to be the best mom--you already are.”

 

By the time Ashlyn is done speaking, Ali is full on crying but laughing at herself through her sudden tears. “I’m certainly going to try,” she says. “This baby and I are so lucky to have you to help us. I know you keep reassuring me but you’re a part of this too and I couldn’t ask for a better person to help me out.”

 

“Thanks, that means a lot,” Ashlyn replies, squeezing Ali’s hand.

 

\---

 

Ali’s birthday falls on Thursday the next week so after she gets home from work in the afternoon, Ashlyn plans on spending all weekend pampering Ali. She’s still much more exhausted than normal, which Dr. Sauerbrunn said should even out in the second trimester, so Ashlyn knows how important it is for Ali to rest. As soon as Ali is in the door from work Thursday afternoon, Ashlyn announces that it’s pajama day and sends Ali upstairs to change. Ali’s gone no less than a minute when Ashlyn hears her calling for her upstairs.

 

Ashlyn isn’t quite sure how she moves as fast as she does, but she takes the stairs two at a time, panicking that something is wrong and mentally preparing to jump into action. “What, is everything okay?” she asks, breathless as she barges into Ali’s bedroom, finding her in front of the full length mirror.

 

“Look,” Ali whispers, eyes full of wonder and delight as she points to her stomach.

 

“Is that--?”

 

“A bump,” Ali finishes, checking herself out in the mirror from every angle. It’s still small, largely unnoticeable underneath her clothes but clearly visible in just her sports bra and underwear. She’d woken up late that morning and had to rush to get ready and wasn’t able to examine herself in the mirror as she’s done every morning since finding out she’s pregnant so this is her first time noticing the small bump. “I can’t believe it,” she breathes.

 

“You’re officially the cutest pregnant lady ever,” Ashlyn gushes. “Can I feel?”

 

“Of course,” Ali replies, nodding.

 

Ashlyn reaches her hand out, palming Ali’s belly. It’s firm, much firmer than she expected, but there’s an unmistakable curve, a visible sign that Ali is pregnant. She holds her hand there for a few more moments, imagining herself and Ali holding the baby that’s growing in there in just a few months.

 

When Ashlyn finally moves back, Ali immediately replaces Ashlyn’s hand with her own on her growing belly. She looks down, tears beginning to flow. “Hi, baby,” she coos, rubbing her thumb over the skin. “I love you and I can’t wait to meet you but take it easy with the stretch marks, okay? Mommy’s still gotta look good in a bathing suit until she’s _at least_ 35, but hopefully closer to 40.”

 

“Of course that’s what you’re worried about,” Ashlyn says, laughing at Ali’s little warning.

 

“Hey, a girl has to have her priorities. Besides, I’m single so I have to be cute enough for people to be attracted to me after the baby comes.”

 

“Oh, please,” Ashlyn scoffs. “People fawn all over you, they’ll be attracted to you stretch marks or not.”

 

“I can’t help it that I’m so beautiful,” Ali says, sassily tossing her long hair over her shoulder. She stares at herself for a few more minutes before handing Ashlyn her phone to snap a few quick pictures of her bump, sighing as Ashlyn directs her like a photographer, taking way more pictures than necessary. When they’re both satisfied with the plethora of pictures taken, she throws on a sleep shirt she bought at Target that has purple, blue, and green cartoon sea creatures all over it.

 

“You’re adorable,” Ashlyn compliments at the sight of Ali in her thigh length sleep shirt.  

 

Ashlyn makes Ali breakfast for dinner that night, whipping up chocolate chip banana pancakes and, for the first time in Ali’s pregnancy, bacon (which thankfully no longer makes Ali sick). After dinner, she gives Ali her present: a giftcard to a local spa which will cover the cost of five prenatal massages for Ali to use whenever she wants during her pregnancy. With how sore she already is at just twelve weeks, Ali can’t imagine a better or more practical present.

 

Ali has Friday off of work so they continue to lounge around the house in their pajamas the next day and evening, relishing their quiet time together and the ability to nap whenever they want.

 

“I think I’m going to tell my family tomorrow,” Ali says as they watch a movie.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah,” Ali confirms. “Kyle’s flying in tomorrow morning so it’ll be the perfect time to tell them all at once.”

 

Ashlyn pauses their movie, turning to face Ali. “Are you scared?”

 

“Not really,” Ali replies, shaking her head. “I mean, I hope they’re excited for me but I’m happy and content with my decisions and it’s not like I _need_ their approval, although I would like it.”

 

“I’m sure they’ll be fine. I mean, your mom has been telling you she wants grandchildren ever since little Allie was born so I’m sure she’ll be thrilled and you know Kyle is going to spoil the shit out of this kid. Your dad might track down Matt and kill him for leaving you though.”

 

“Oh my god,” Ali says, laughing. “Please don’t even put that thought in his head, I don’t want to have to visit him in prison.”

 

“Ugh, fine but I think it’s an excellent idea.”

 

The next morning, Ali and Ashlyn make the drive to Orlando to pick Kyle up from the airport. As soon as Ali spots Kyle, she unbuckles her seatbelt and jumps out of the passenger seat as Ashlyn continues idling by the curb of the pickup area. “Welcome home,” she squeals, hugging him tightly.

 

“I’ve missed you so much,” he exclaims. “Ohhh, I didn’t know Ash was coming,” he says when they break apart, noticing the blonde in the front seat of the car. “Not that I’m surprised; you two have been attached at the hip since you were six.” He walks around to the back of the car, lifting his carry on into the trunk before climbing into the back seat, Ali reclaiming her spot in the front. “Hey, Ash,” he greets brightly.

 

They chat excitedly the whole way home, Kyle and Ashlyn almost as close as Ali and Ashlyn after after growing up together. First, Kyle and Ashlyn catch up on things going on in their lives, Ashlyn mentioning that she got a job at an elementary school in Satellite Beach (the reason they’ve been using for her move home). When they finally get to Ali’s turn near the end of the drive, she focuses on talking about work and Ashlyn moving in with her, having a very difficult time not blurting out her bigger, more important news. She spends all afternoon dodging Kyle’s more in depth questions about her life and is incredibly thankful that when she gives him a tour of the house, he doesn’t check the closet in what will end up being the baby’s room where she’s been storing all of the things they’ve picked up so far. She’s also very glad that she had the foresight to put the framed ultrasound picture she keeps on her nightstand in the drawer underneath, not wanting Kyle to spot it before she can tell him and their parents at the same time.

 

“I’m so proud of you, Al,” Kyle says, wrapping her into a hug as they make their way to the car to head to their parents’ house. “You have your own house, it’s so cool.”

 

“Thanks, Ky,” Ali replies, grinning. “It helps that I had a full ride for school and don’t have any student loans to repay.”

 

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Ashlyn groans, getting into the backseat so Ali and Kyle can sit next to each other.

 

“It’s not my fault you quit soccer halfway through high school,” Ali replies, checking the rearview mirrors and pulling out of the driveway. The drive is short, barely over a mile, so they don’t even make it through a full song on the radio before they pull up in front of Ali and Kyle’s (and kind of Ashlyn’s) childhood home.

 

“You’ve got this,” Ashlyn whispers in Ali’s ear as they walk towards the front door, Kyle a few steps ahead of them.

 

“Thanks,” Ali whispers back.

 

Deb and Ken greet the trio in the entryway to their home, hugging Ashlyn like she’s their own child. “Happy birthday, baby,” Deb says excitedly, hugging Ali for the second time. “How was your big day?” she asks as they head towards the living room.

 

“Kind of boring,” Ali replies. “I had to work in the morning but Ash and I had a pajama day when I got home and gave me a giftcard for some massages so that was really nice.”

 

“That’s an excellent present,” Deb says, smiling.

 

They continue to make small talk for a while, Ali mentally resolving herself to tell them about the baby after dinner. She wants to tell them immediately but feels as if it’s best to wait a little bit, to celebrate her birthday before she makes her big, life changing announcement. Luckily, she sees her parents fairly often so they don’t ask many questions about what she’s been up to, instead focusing on asking Kyle how the move to New York has been and talking to Ashlyn about her recent move back home. Ashlyn knows Ali wants to wait to share her news so she talks about her move in great detail while stealthily skipping over the most important detail. It was the right time to move home, she says, with Mrs. Rampone’s retirement, the opportunity to teach children and give back to the community that raised her. They all buy this explanation and are thrilled that she’s back home and living with Ali, something the pair always used to talk about doing one day before they ultimately decided on going to different colleges.

 

After dinner, Ken and Deb bring out a tray full of cupcakes from Ali’s favorite local bakery. They sing happy birthday to her, a single candle in a red velvet cupcake (her favorite). When the time comes, there’s no question in Ali’s mind of what she’s going to wish for. _I hope my baby is healthy and that I’ll be a good mom,_ she thinks, blowing out the candle. She and Ashlyn share a knowing look as Ken, Deb, Kyle, and Ashlyn all select their own cupcakes from the tray.

 

“What’d you wish for?” Deb asks conspiratorily, removing her cupcake wrapper.

 

“Well,” Ali begins, taking a deep breath. “Dad, you might want to sit down,” she says. Ken complies, everyone watching Ali curiously until she begins speaking again. “I have news, big news.” She pauses, reaching into her back pocket for the latest sonogram picture, holding it to her chest like poker cards she doesn’t want them to see. “I’m pregnant,” she announces finally.

 

The room goes quiet, everyone taking a moment to process her words. Ali sits there quietly watching her family’s reactions, feeling as if they’re moving in slow motion. It’s Deb who breaks the silence first, her chair scraping against the kitchen floor as she stands, walking over to hug Ali. “I’m going to have a grandbaby?” she asks, eyes shining with happy tears.

 

Ali nods, standing up to hug her mom, still clutching the ultrasound picture.

 

“I thought you and Matt broke up,” Kyle says, confused.

 

“We did and this was why,” Ali answers honestly as she and her mom break apart, Deb wiping tears from her eyes. “He didn’t want me to keep the baby and he left when I said I was.”

 

“And you can’t kill him because he moved to Dallas,” Ashlyn quips from her place at the kitchen table, chocolate frosting all over her face.

 

“Good riddance,” Ken says. He too stands, moving to hug his daughter. “You’re happy about this?” he questions.

 

Ali nods, close to tears. “I’m really, really happy.”

 

“Good,” he replies, finally breaking into a smile.

 

“Here, this is the ultrasound picture from last week,” Ali says, holding the photo out so her family can see it. “I have extra copies too, if you guys want one.”

 

“How far along are you?” Kyle questions, looking at the picture of his little niece or nephew.

 

“I’ll be thirteen weeks tomorrow,” she answers excitedly.

 

“Are you showing yet?” Deb asks.

 

Ali nods, lifting her shirt a little for her family to see. “I actually first noticed my bump on my birthday so it was kind of the best birthday present ever.”

 

“You’re beautiful,” Deb compliments, pulling Ali in for another hug. “I’m so happy for you, Alex, you’re going to be a wonderful mom.”

 

“I learned from the best,” Ali replies, melting into her mom’s embrace.

 

They have questions, lots of questions, and Ali spends the next hour answering every single one. No, she’s not sad Matt left. That relationship wasn’t going anywhere and they’re better off without him. The baby is developing on track, all the bloodwork came back negative for potential birth defects. Yes, she’s going to find out what she’s having. She doesn’t really care but kind of hopes for a girl, a little partner in crime. Yes, the real reason Ashlyn moved back is to help her with the baby. She’s due February 5 but knows that a lot of women go longer for their first baby--her sweet little Valentine.

 

For as much as she initially worried about telling her family, they take the news extremely well. After all, she’s now 25, owns a home, and has always been rather emotionally independent. They’re all confident that she’ll be a great mom and are excited to have a baby to spoil. Their only anger and sadness is directed at Matt’s decision to leave, his choice to not be part of the baby’s life. He doesn’t deserve them, Kyle declares. The baby has enough people to adore him or her, including Ashlyn who will essentially be the baby’s second parent in all but name.

 

By the time Ali, Ashlyn, and Kyle head back home that night, Ali feels lighter than air, as if she can tackle anything that comes her way. When they get back to the house, Ali excitedly drags Kyle up to the future nursery, opening the closet and showing him all the things they’ve bought so far. There’s not much, just Ashlyn’s giant shark, the little towel, and a few gender neutral outfits she couldn’t pass up. Kyle coos over all of it, excited to eventually make his own contribution to the baby’s wardrobe.

 

“They don’t make a lot of baby clothes in black,” Ashlyn warns. “I’ve already checked.”

 

“Damn,” Kyle murmurs. “I’ll find something,” he pauses, thinking of what he can get. “Ohhh, baby Doc Martins,” he exclaims.

 

Ali shakes her head. “Ashlyn already has some coming in the mail.”

 

They sit on the floor in the future nursery for quite some time, debating what kind of theme Ali should do and where she should put the furniture. When Ali goes to bed that night, she proudly puts the framed sonogram back where it belongs on her night stand, thrilled that the only time she’ll have to move it now will be to update the picture. She falls asleep easily that night, a lot of the tension that she’s carried the last few nights in anticipation of her announcement dissipating, content that her family knows about the baby and is as happy as she is.

 

“You have a lot of people who love you, little one,” she whispers, perpetual hand resting on her stomach. “We’re so lucky. We are so, so lucky.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What'd you think of the Kriegers' reactions? Is there anything you'd like to see more of in this story? Favorite parts? 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	5. family

The next few months pass in a blur. Ali’s third prenatal appointment goes much like the first two: the baby is developing right on schedule and there’s nothing for Dr. Sauerbrunn or Ali (or Ashlyn) to be concerned about. Now eighteen weeks pregnant, everyone in Ali’s life knows that Ali is pregnant and a few strangers have asked her when she’s due, especially when she and Ashlyn take trips to the beach--her bikinis leaving nowhere for the swell of her belly to hide. She doesn’t make any sort of huge pregnancy announcements, despite the plethora of pinterest boards, instead deciding to send a picture of the eleven week sonogram to her close friends and family before posting it to Facebook a few days later. She’s flooded with congratulatory messages when she finally posts the picture, and takes the time to thank everyone individually. Nobody except her closest friends and family ask what happened to Matt and she’s certainly not going to volunteer that information if she doesn’t have to so she leaves everyone to come to their own conclusions.

 

Meanwhile, Ashlyn readjusts to life back in Satellite Beach. School is back in session now and she loves her new classroom and students, often coming home and telling Ali funny anecdotes about things the kids say. As soon as Ali told her she was pregnant, she knew that home was where she needed to be, but she’s more sure of her decision to move back with every passing day. She gets to see Ali and the baby grow and change and is surrounded by her own family again. As much as she loved living in Orlando the last six years, she quickly comes to realize that there’s nowhere else she’d rather be than with Ali in their hometown.

 

She and Ali have gone through everything in their lives together: first loves, first broken hearts, saving up for their first cars by working at a little ice cream shack on the beach together, and it seems appropriate that they’re now going through this side by side. It might not be the way Ashlyn had often hoped (she’s all but given up on the thought that they’ll ever end up together) but it’s the next best thing and Ashlyn can’t wait for the baby to arrive.

 

When they were younger and figuring themselves out, it was Ashlyn who realized she likes girls first. She dated both boys and girls throughout high school but largely stuck to women once she went to college--feeling a deeper, more intimate connection with women than she does with men. Ali, on the other hand, didn’t come to her realization until after they were already in college, calling Ashlyn one night during their freshman year to tell her that she had a crush on a teammate, asking Ashlyn for advice. Ashlyn had been supportive of Ali’s journey to figure out her sexuality, largely because she knew how important support is in that situation but partially because if Ali liked girls, there was a possibility that she might like _her_ , the thought of which sent shivers down Ashlyn’s spine. But that was over six years ago now and Ali has shown very little interest in Ashlyn (based on the relationships Ali has had with women, she doesn’t seem to be her type) so they’ve continued just as they always have, lifelong friends.

 

The new school year brings a new schedule. While Ashlyn was home pretty much all summer (save for some trips back to visit friends in Orlando), she’s out of the house from 8-4 during the week now. They take turns making dinner now, trading off based on who feels like cooking most that day--sometimes even playing rock paper scissors when neither wants to agree to cook. Ali’s morning sickness completely subsides after her 13th week, which makes deciding on and cooking meals much easier although they’re still careful to make healthy foods so she and the baby get the nutrients they need.

 

The night before Ali’s 20 week appointment, Ali decides that she wants to keep the baby’s sex a secret until he or she is born. She wants to find out, of course, but she wants to keep the news between her and Ashlyn until the baby’s birth. She knows her mom, Kyle, and some of her other close friends will complain about the decision, but she kind of likes the idea of keeping it between the two of them for now.

 

They arrive obnoxiously early for Ali’s appointment the next day at Ali’s instance that they cannot be a second late, too eager to find out what she’s having to wait any longer than she has to.

 

“You excited?” Dr. Sauerbrunn asks as Ali gets settled onto the examination table.

 

“I can’t wait,” Ali replies, smiling.

 

The basics of the appointment move excruciatingly slow as Ali anxiously awaits to find out what she’s having. When the time comes, she’s so excited to find out that she breaks down in tears.

 

“You okay?” Ashlyn asks, gently rubbing Ali’s arm.

 

Ali nods, wiping her tears away. “Sorry, I’m just really excited,” she says. Dr. Sauerbrunn is quiet for a moment, giving Ali time to calm herself down before continuing with the appointment.

 

“You know the drill,” she says, pulling the little ultrasound cart up next to her.

 

Ali nods, lifting her shirt up to expose the her belly. It’s been two months since she started showing but she still marvels at her bump every time she sees it, especially when she checks herself out in the mirror in the morning and at night before bed. She has Ashlyn take pictures to document her growing belly at least once a week, holding up a little chalkboard sign that says how far along she is. She posts some of these photos to her social media accounts but mostly keeps them to herself so she can look back on how much she’s changed throughout her pregnancy. She and Ashlyn both watch on bated breath as Dr. Sauerbrunn squirts the gel onto Ali’s stomach, turning to grab the wand from her cart.

 

“You sure you want to know?” She asks, moving the device over Ali’s belly, getting a good look at the baby.

 

Ali looks at her, incredulous at the question before she realizes the doctor is joking, seeing her face lit up with a smirk. “Funny,” she replies.

 

“I thought it was good,” Dr. Sauerbrunn says, shrugging. She studies the baby for a moment, first taking its measurements. “Baby is about ten and a quarter inches long so it’s about the size of a carrot,” she explains, making note of the exact measurements in her iPad. “Everything looks really, really good,” she adds. She’s drawing things out at this point, always enjoying the looks on her patients faces as they wait to hear what they’re having.

 

“Get to it, doc,” Ashlyn says impatiently.

 

“Well, Ms. Krieger, it looks like you’re having a perfectly healthy baby girl,” she announces, watching Ali’s eyes as they go from anticipation to pure joy.

 

“Really?” Ali asks, fresh tears in her eyes.

 

Dr. Sauerbrunn nods. She points out the baby’s different limbs: head, arms and hands, legs and feet before pointing in between the legs.

 

“No penis,” Ashlyn says, looking at the empty space between the baby’s legs.

 

“No penis,” Dr. Sauerbrunn confirms.

 

“You okay, Alex?” Ashlyn asks, beaming as she looks down at Ali, who has her eyes fixed on the screen.

 

“I’m having a daughter,” Ali chokes out. “I’m having a daughter,” she repeats, more forcefully this time.

 

Dr. Sauerbrunn excuses herself for a moment to let the news sink in.

 

“I can’t believe it,” Ali says, her tongue poking through her teeth as she smiles. Ashlyn’s seen Ali smile countless times throughout their lives--she’s seen it with baby teeth, missing teeth, braces, even doped up and full of cotton after Ali got her wisdom teeth out. But this, this smile, this look, nothing has ever compared to _this._ It’s not her kid, she knows, but seeing Ali so excited, so (literally) full of life and joy has her feeling like it’s the best day of her life as well.

 

“I changed my mind,” Ashlyn jokes, holding back tears of her own. “I’m not gonna be able to live with two Krieger women, you’ll be the death of me.”

 

“No backing out now,” Ali replies. “You’re stuck with me and my little mini me in there.”

 

“Ugh, fine,” Ashlyn wines. She pauses, figuring out a way to phrase everything she’s feeling. “Is it bad that I’m almost as excited as you?” she asks quietly.

 

Ali tears her eyes away from the image of her baby--her daughter!--on screen to meet Ashlyn’s eyes. “Absolutely not,” she says firmly, taking Ashlyn’s hand. “You’ve been there every single day, taking pictures of me and taking care of me and the baby and you’ve been here, in that exact spot, for every appointment. You have such a big role in this baby’s life, Ash, you’re practically another mom to her and she’s not even here yet. She’s gonna grow up not even knowing the difference between our relationships with her and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Hell, you might as well be my wife over there.”

 

“I love you,” Ashlyn says, meaning the words in every way imaginable.

 

“I love you too,” Ali replies as Dr. Sauerbrunn gives a soft knock before re-entering the room.

 

She quickly prints out a series of pictures from all different angles, handing Ali and Ashlyn their own copies of the strip of photos. At all their previous appointments, she’s only handed Ali the photos, Ali giving Ashlyn her own copy when they get to the car but this time, Dr. Sauerbrunn gives Ashlyn her own copy directly, wordlessly looking towards Ali for approval. “T-thank you,” Ashlyn sputters at the gesture, holding the photos close to her heart literally and figuratively.

 

They head to Target after the appointment, their little post-appointment tradition. They stock up on essentials, Ashlyn grumbling as she drops a box of tampons in the cart.

 

“Sucks to be you,” Ali says playfully, marking it off of their list on her phone. Freshly stocked on groceries and health and beauty items, they head to the other side of the store to look at clothes and baby stuff. Ali is slowly making the transition to maternity clothes, having grown out of even her flowy tops so they browse the small section, Ali complaining that there aren’t enough options available in black.

 

“Sucks to be you,” Ashlyn replies, sticking her tongue out.

 

Ali ends up selecting a few solid color t-shirts (black, dark grey, and light grey, naturally), a pair of jeans, a few other tops, a pair of leggings, and a few things for work. They head to the baby department next, their knowledge of the baby’s sex now making it much easier to pick out clothes. They walk through the furniture first, talking about the types of things Ali should register for when it’s time to plan for her baby shower. Just as they’re about to go look at the baby clothes, Ashlyn stops in her tracks, going back to one of the aisles they’ve already been through. When she returns, she drops a little sonogram frame into the cart, dimpled smile lighting up her face.

 

“I just--” she begins, trying to explain.

 

“I know,” Ali replies.

 

As much as they try not to, they go a little overboard when they get to the baby clothes. “Look at this,” Ali exclaims, picking up an impossibly tiny mint green owl print sleep-n-play. “It has a little owl on the butt,” she coos, turning it around so Ashlyn can see.

 

“We’re definitely getting that,” Ashlyn says.

 

“How’s it look?” Ali asks, holding it tight to her belly.

 

“I think it’s a little small for you but keep dreaming,” Ashlyn quips. “It’s adorable, obviously, and we’re getting the cat one too,” She says, pointing to a similar sleep-n-play on the other arm of the rack.

 

“She’s already so spoiled,” Ali comments, grinning as she puts both sleep-n-plays in the cart, looking up to see a middle aged woman standing in front of them.

 

“You two are an adorable couple,” the woman compliments.

 

Ali and Ashlyn look at each other, unsure of what to say. Finally, Ali smiles, her expression telling Ashlyn to play along. “Thank you,” they say in unison, not wanting to take the time to explain their situation to a stranger.

 

“How far along are you?” the woman asks, gesturing to Ali’s bump.

 

“Almost twenty-one weeks,” Ali answers, subconsciously resting a hand on her belly.

 

“Oh, you two must be so excited!”

 

“We are,” Ashlyn replies, grinning.

 

“Congratulations,” the woman says, smiling as she leaves Ali and Ashlyn to finish their shopping.

 

“I think we’re just gonna have to get used to that happening,” Ali says, chuckling once the woman is out of earshot.

 

Ashlyn shrugs. “There are worse things that could happen.”

 

They end up picking out a few more sleep-n-plays, figuring that they’re pretty much all the baby will be wearing for the first few months. When they walk by the infant accessories, Ali can’t quite help herself and drops a pack of five pastel headbands with bows on them into their cart.

 

Later that night, they sit on Ali’s front porch swing, talking about the day. Ali curls up on her side, her head resting in Ashlyn’s lap as Ashlyn plays with her hair. Ali looks at the stars in the sky, trying to wrap her head around the fact that she’ll have a daughter in just a few months. Her worries about being a good mother have largely dissipated since her freakout after her first appointment, mostly thanks to Ashlyn’s continuing help and support. Now confident that she and the baby will be just fine, she finally lets herself daydream about all the wonderful things she’ll experience as a mother. The first wonderful thing she looks forward to is feeling the baby kick, which Dr. Sauerbrunn said could happen any day. The baby already kicks, she explained, so it’s just a matter of it being strong enough for Ali to feel and realize what it is. Then, in just 20 more weeks, she’ll get to hold her baby in her arms for the first time and she knows that her life will change forever the second she sees her little face. She hopes the baby looks like her, thinking that it would be a cruel twist of irony if the baby looks more like her absent father, but she knows she’ll love her no matter what she looks like. She’ll get to experience the world through her daughter’s eyes and, a few years down the line, she’ll get to hear her little voice say ‘I love you’ for the first time and she knows that the words will make her cry tears of joy. It’s all going to be worth it--all the nausea; the tears; the pain; the worries; hell, even the stretch marks will be worth it when she gets to hold her daughter in her arms.

 

“You asleep?” Ashlyn asks after a few minutes of silence.

 

Ali rolls onto her back, looking up at Ashlyn. “I was just thinking about all the little things, you know? Everything is so much easier to picture now that I know she’s a girl.”

 

“I was thinking about the little things too,” Ashlyn replies.

 

Ali raises an eyebrow. “Oh yeah?” she asks curiously.

 

“Yeah,” Ashlyn begins, “I was thinking about how beautiful she’s going to be and how your face will light up the second you see her for the first time. And how I’m going to sneak her down to the beach to go surfing when she’s a little bigger.”

 

“Don’t you dare,” Ali warns.

 

“No promises,” Ashlyn replies, smirking. “And I was thinking how _different_ things are going to be around here in a few months. It’s always been just you and me taking on the world together but now we’re going to have a new little companion and a whole bunch of new adventures. And it’s not just pretend anymore. She’s not a doll that we can do whatever we want with, she’s going to have thoughts and opinions and a personality all her own and most of the time it’ll be great but sometimes she’s really going to test our patience and we’ll have to adapt.

 

“Then maybe one day down the line, you’ll find someone who deserves your love forever and I’ll have to step aside a little to let the three of you be a family and it’ll be hard at first but I’ll be ready for it when the time comes. I mean, we’ve always known that we would grow up and get married and we’d have other most important people in our lives, you know?”

 

“Ashlyn,” Ali says firmly but with a certain gentleness in her voice. “You will always have a place in the family. You know that, right? No matter what happens or who I fall in love with however many years from now, you will always be one of the most important people in my life _and_ her life because when it comes down to it, you’ll always be the first person to know about her existence other than me and you’ll always be the one who was there with me through the whole process and the one who’s going to help change dirty diapers at ungodly times of the night.”

 

Ali pauses, taking Ashlyn’s hand. “No other person in my life can _ever_ take that distinction away from you. So, yeah, maybe she’ll have a third parent someday but for now? For now it’s just the three of us and we’re going to be our weird, unconventional little family.”

 

“You really are the best friend anyone could ever have,” Ashlyn muses when Ali rolls back onto her side (she’s not supposed to be on her back for too long while she’s pregnant).

 

“Please, you’re literally helping me raise my baby, there’s no comparison,” Ali counters.

 

They’re quiet again for a few minutes, Ashlyn using one leg to propel the cushioned swing, the slight creek blending with the sound of crickets.

 

“You want to cuddle in my bed tonight?” Ali offers when they finally decide to go inside.

 

Ashlyn nods so she locks the door behind them, following Ali up to her bedroom. They’ve always been rather cuddly with one another (that’s what happens when you become friends at age six before you understand the concept of boundaries) so the offer to cuddle isn’t unusual. In fact, it’s a little more unusual for them to sleep in separate beds. Especially with Ali being pregnant, sleeping in a bed with another person makes her feel that much safer, comforted by the physical presence of another telling her that she’s not in this alone. She briefly wonders what it would be like if Matt were in Ashlyn’s spot but the fact that she thinks of it as Ashlyn’s spot and not Ashlyn in Matt’s spot tells her all she needs to know. It was never his spot in her life, it was always Ashlyn’s and will always be Ashlyn’s, whether or not they ever end up together. It still seems unlikely that it’ll ever happen--if it doesn’t happen when both of them are single and living together, it’ll never happen--but Ali still holds onto a shred of hope that one day they’ll be in this exact same bed, trying to have quiet sex while the baby sleeps down the hall.

 

But she can’t worry about that, not now. Her entire focus needs to be on the baby and not starting a new relationship, however old and right the relationship may feel. She owes it to her daughter to focus on being the best mom she can be, to settle into motherhood, before starting something new--just like she would owe it to Ashlyn to not start something when she’s so preoccupied with her impending motherhood. No one else in the world deserves her undivided attention as much as they do and she resolves herself, however hard it may be, to wait until she feels she can maintain perfect balance.

 

She snuggles closer to Ashlyn, her growing belly as a sort of buffer between them, and falls asleep easily, dreaming about her daughter (as she always seems to do these days). In her dream, not much is different. She wakes up on a lazy Sunday morning, padding down the hall to the nursery, carrying a baby that looks just like her downstairs to find Ashlyn making breakfast in the kitchen. In the dream though, she kisses Ashlyn good morning, sighing contently when they break apart. The dream feels real, a little too real, and Ali is disoriented the next morning when she realizes that it was just a dream. Reality isn’t that different, she thinks, as she walks downstairs to find Ashlyn making breakfast in the kitchen, not even needing to ask how she wants her eggs cooked. With Ashlyn at the stove, Ali sets out on getting their drinks ready (apple juice for Ashlyn, orange for herself). They move around each other easily, anticipating each other’s every movement, a sense and connection they’ve picked up over nearly two decades of friendship.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Favorite parts?
> 
> I promise we're getting somewhere ;)


	6. shower

The next few weeks send Ali right back into panic mode. She’s excited, more excited than she’s ever been in her life, but there are so many things that need to be done before the baby’s arrival that it makes her head spin--even literally as she’s overcome with dizziness at one point. Ashlyn anxiously calls Dr. Sauerbrunn to figure out what to do (turns out, it’s fairly common for women to experience dizziness during pregnancy so Dr. Sauerbrunn assures there’s nothing to worry about but to keep an eye on Ali just in case).

 

Soon after Ali’s gender reveal appointment, she goes overboard (in Ashlyn’s opinion) about selecting a nursery theme. They spend hours in the still empty room with Ali’s computer in front of them, imagining how certain pinterest designs would look in the space. She finally settles on a gender neutral world traveler theme when she spots a large canvas map of the world on a trip to Ikea. She also finds some decals of quotes from _Oh, The Places You’ll Go_ on Etsy, solidifying her decision.

 

Theme set, she and Ashlyn make a day long trip to Babies R Us to register for her baby shower which is set for mid November, at the beginning of her third trimester. In preparation for their trip, they had researched some of the bigger items, looking carefully at reviews and making a list of options.

 

“You know,” Ali says, trying to decide between two different strollers. “I liked this one better in the pictures but I think I like this one better in person.”

 

Ashlyn gently nudges Ali aside, trying the display models for herself. “I actually think this one rolls better too,” she says, pointing to the one Ali likes. “Plus, the phone and cup holder on the handle will be really helpful.”

 

Ali nods, glad they’re on the same page. “We should probably get a second car seat base for your car,” she says, pointing to the individual bases at the end of the aisle. She scans the stroller and matching baby carrier before walking down to the bases and putting one in the cart, figuring that they don’t need to register for something so small.

 

Picking a crib proves to be more of a challenge. Ashlyn likes the dark wood ones, arguing that it will transition better when it eventually gets converted to a full sized bed while Ali likes the white one, arguing that it seems more appropriate for a nursery. They debate back and forth for a few minutes before deciding to split the difference and selecting a medium wood finish, resembling driftwood, agreeing that it will actually work really well with the neutral colors they’re planning for the nursery. Ali also registers for a dresser and changing table, and a glider and ottoman set--all three pieces matching the crib in their wood grains and finish.

 

“My god, babies need a lot of stuff,” Ashlyn comments as she marks stuff they’ve registered for off of their essentials list.

 

“Tell me about it,” Ali replies, checking out two different infant swings. “Ow,” she exclaims, closing her eyes and pressing a hand to her now sizeable belly.

 

“You okay?” Ashlyn asks, looking up from the checklist.

 

“Yeah, she’s kicking really hard right now,” Ali replies, putting pressure on the spot where she felt the baby’s feet. She first felt the baby kick just a week prior, waking up in the middle of the night to the baby kicking her in the kidneys. As soon as she realized what was happening, the threw her covers off and ran down to Ashlyn’s room, not caring that she was waking her up.

 

“What?” Ashlyn asked groggily, trying to get her bearings.

 

“The baby’s kicking,” Ali exclaimed, taking Ashlyn’s hand and putting it to her belly so she could feel. The feeling of movement underneath Ali’s skin had woken Ashlyn right up as she excitedly pressed her hand to Ali’s bump, trying to feel as much as possible. They’d ended up both falling back asleep in Ashlyn’s bed, each with one hand on Ali’s belly.

 

“I think she knows we’re shopping for her,” Ali muses once the baby calms down a little.

 

Ashlyn laughs, shaking her head. “Well if she’s anything like her mommy, she’s going to be a little shopaholic,” she says, earning a glare from Ali.

 

“Like you’re one to talk,” Ali replies. She scans the baby swing, moving on to the playpens, highchairs, and bouncers.

 

By the time they make it to the feeding aisle, both women are pretty excited to be almost finished with the registry. They stand in front of the breast pumps for nearly two minutes before either one says anything. “I wonder what that feels like,” Ashlyn says, staring straight ahead at the surprisingly numerous different models of pumps.

 

“You want to try when I get mine?” Ali offers, laughing.

 

Ashlyn crosses her arms over her chest protectively. “Not a chance. That’s one thing you’re gonna have to do on your own,” she replies.

 

“What? You mean you don’t want to have to wear nipple pads under your clothes? It’s a really good look,” Ali jokes, picking up a package of the round pads, holding it up to her swollen breasts.

 

Ashlyn wiggles her eyebrows suggestively. “Oh yeah, super sexy,” she says, winking.

 

“Can you even imagine me going to sleep with someone after the baby comes and having to take these things off first? Not that I’m going to be sleeping with anyone anytime soon after giving birth; I’m going to be far too smitten with this little girl to have time for anyone else.” She turns her attention to the shelves of pumps, selecting a model that looks good (honestly, most of them look the same to her despite their research) and scanning it for the registry.

 

The completed registry and the upcoming baby shower help ease Ali’s mind about all the things that need to be done before the baby’s arrival. Sure, they still need to build the furniture after the shower but having it all picked out allows them move forward and choose paint for the nursery, leaving Ali’s dad to paint the nursery while they’re both at work one day.

 

\---

 

For as different as Ali felt between her first and second trimesters, the beginning of her third trimester feels like more of the same. Her back hurts a little more, though that’s to be expected as her belly keeps growing at a somewhat alarming rate (although Dr. Sauerbrunn assures her that she’s right on track).

 

Her baby shower occurs during the first week of her second trimester on a fairly cool weekend in November.

 

“Alex, are you almost ready?” Ashlyn calls up the stairs, five minutes after the shower was supposed to begin. When she doesn’t get a response, she makes her way towards Ali’s bedroom, finding her staring into her closet, still looking for something to wear. “We have to go to your mom’s, we’re already late,” Ashlyn announces.

 

Ali groans, turning to look at Ashlyn. “I have nothing to wear,” she wines.

 

“What about that black dress we picked out?” Ashlyn asks. “I thought you bought that specifically for your shower?”

 

“It makes me look too big, I can’t wear it.”

 

“Hey,” Ashlyn begins, “you’re seven months pregnant and absolutely stunning, okay? Everyone is there for the bump anyway so you might as well show it off”. They’ve been through this exact conversation countless times in the last few months and as much as Ashlyn wants to be frustrated, to tell Ali to get her ass in gear, she knows she can’t lose her patience. Besides, she genuinely believes that Ali is the most beautiful pregnant woman (and woman in general) there’s ever been so reassuring her comes as easily as breathing. Her words have the intended effect as Ali nods, grabbing the flowing black dress from where she’d discarded it on her bed. “See? Look at you,” Ashlyn says once she’s dressed.

 

“I am pretty cute, aren’t I?” Ali asks, checking herself out in the mirror.

 

“The cutest,” Ashlyn agrees. “Well, at least until Ali junior finally makes her appearance.”

 

“Don’t tempt me to name her after me Lorelai Gilmore style,” Ali warns as they finally make their way outside.

 

Ashlyn laughs, helping Ali into the passenger seat. “At least there are tons of nickname options for Alexandra,” she notes.

 

They drive to Ali’s parents’ house in relative silence, Ali watching out the window as they pass familiar surroundings. When they pull into the driveway (Deb and Kyle made sure no one parked there so Ali wouldn’t have to walk too far), Ali turns to Ashlyn. “Don’t forget that we’re the only one who knows she’s a girl,” she says, unbuckling her seatbelt.

 

“Got it,” Ashlyn replies, running around to Ali’s side to help her out of the car as Deb steps out onto the front porch to greet them.

 

“You look stunning,” Deb gushes, rubbing Ali’s belly. “How’s my little grandbaby doing?”

 

“Kicking up a storm as usual,” Ali replies, grinning.

 

Deb leads them inside, everyone mingling in the living room as they await the guest of honor. The entire house is tastefully decorated in greens and yellows, and Ali is immediately touched at the lengths her mom and Kyle went to in their preparations. She makes her way around the room, greeting friends and family, thanking them all for coming to her shower. She hasn’t seen some of these people in quite some time, especially her friends from college so she greets them with massive hugs (as much as she can hug with her 27 week belly, that is) and smiles when they request to feel her bump. The baby must feel her mother’s excitement because she doesn’t seem to still all afternoon, kicking and elbowing Ali as she moves.

 

Ashlyn spends everyday with Ali and the baby so she hangs back a little as Ali makes her rounds, mingling with her friends and family. To say that Ali thrives on holding the attention of everyone in the room would be the understatement of the century. For all her earlier insecurities about her large bump, she seems super confident and comfortable showing it off throughout the shower, even pointing out when the baby visibly kicks.

 

When Deb serves lunch, Ali takes a seat next to Ashlyn, sighing at how good it feels to sit down after mingling for over an hour. “You’re being quiet,” she notes, digging into her pasta salad.

 

“I’m not being quiet,” Ashlyn defends.

 

“Ashlyn, I’ve known you our whole lives, I know when you’re being quiet.” She pauses, taking another bite and washing it down with water. “I want you to enjoy yourself too, okay?”

 

“I get to spend everyday with you, I’m just letting everyone else have their turn to fawn all over you,” Ashlyn explains.

 

“I know you spend everyday with me and that’s why I want you to know that it’s okay for you to celebrate today too. I’m not saying you should make yourself the center of attention or anything but you have an important role here and I want you to enjoy yourself and be by my side a little more so I can brag to everyone what a big help you’ve been. I mean, I’m sure some of these women have husbands or partners that weren’t as helpful as you have been when they were pregnant.”

 

“I… thank you,” Ashlyn finally replies. Truthfully, she’d felt a bit awkward at the shower, not quite knowing where her place was. She’s not technically family but she _has_ been the one helping Ali with everything, feeling much more like a partner than her best friend. To them, the situation is pretty simple but Ashlyn wasn’t sure how much everyone else knew about it or if Ali even wants to talk about it with everyone so her reassurances mean everything to Ashlyn.

 

After lunch, Ashlyn is decidedly more involved with the shower, essentially following Ali around as she spends time with all of her guests. A few times, Ali says so many wonderful things about what a help Ashlyn has been and how she’s so thankful to have her by her side that she actually blushes at her compliments. She never, ever would have let Ali go through something like this alone, especially considering how afraid she was after her first prenatal appointment, so it’s a little strange for Ashlyn to be praised for doing something that she honestly can’t imagine herself not doing, something that makes her the happiest she’s ever been. Almost everyone asks Ali if she’s excited and expresses to Ashlyn what a wonderful person she is for helping Ali but no one asks Ashlyn if she’s excited. It’s fine by her, Ali deserves to be the center of attention and, if she’s honest, she would have a hard time articulating everything she already feels for this baby without feeling like she’s taking some of Ali’s spotlight away. This baby already feels like her daughter and she knows that nothing in her life, not even having her own children one day, will make her feel any different about her. She plans on being there for the long haul, right by Ali’s side for everything in this little girl’s life--first day of school, soccer games, school dances, graduation, and moving her away to college--so of course, _of course_ , she moved in with them, she can’t imagine her life any other way.

 

When it comes time for presents, Ashlyn sits dutifully at Ali’s side, ready to write down what everyone got her for thank you card purposes. Ali opens most of the presents but is thoughtful enough to pass a few off to Ashlyn, making it known to Ashlyn and everyone else that they are relative equals in this situation--as equal as they can possibly be without Ashlyn also being the baby’s mother. As they open presents, it becomes increasingly obvious that Ali is truly adored by everyone in her life. Carm, Ali’s best friend from college, went all out for her present, purchasing the crib (which will be delivered to the house), a feeding pillow and a few different covers, and a bunch of little outfits, including a tiny Canadian soccer kit, much to Ali’s dismay.

 

“No way I’m putting my kid in that,” Ali exclaims, laughing as soon as she pulls it out of the bag. “Baby has to be a USA fan, sorry.”

 

“Look at the back,” Carm prompts.

 

Ali turns the little jersey around, seeing Carm’s last name and number printed on the back. “Okay, fine,” she relents. “But only when you’re not playing the U.S.”

 

“Fair enough.”

 

Ali continues opening Carm’s present, finally getting to the bottom of the bag and pulling out a little Florida soccer onesie. Her hand flies to her mouth as she sees the predominantly blue onesie, cartoon gator with one foot propped up on a soccer ball printed on front and “Gators” in orange letters across the back. “This is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen,” she coos, holding it up to her belly, smiling as Kyle snaps pictures of her holding the present. “Carm, this is too much,” she says, looking down at everything her friend gave her (including a printed order confirmation for the crib).

 

Carm shrugs. “I told you I was gonna spoil this kid. Besides, you deserve all of that and then some.” Ali holds her arms out for a hug so Carm gets out of her seat and moves closer to her, holding her tightly.

 

“Thank you,” Ali whispers.

 

If Ali thought Carm went overboard, the present from Ashlyn’s family is off the charts. Ashlyn’s parents, although divorced, went in on a present together, gifting Ali with the glider and ottoman, the high chair, the playpen, and several gigantic boxes of diapers and wipes. “Tammye, this is incredible,” Ali marvels, looking at everything she’d given her. “Thank you so much.”

 

“You’re welcome, honey,” Tammye replies, moving in to hug both Ali and Ashlyn. “I had to do right by my unofficial grandchild.” She smiles, squeezing Ashlyn’s hand before walking back to her seat. “You’ve always been like a second daughter to me and such a great friend to Ash.”

 

“Please, she’s the one helping me out with the baby, there’s no better friend than that,” Ali replies honestly, grinning at Ashlyn as she speaks.

 

Ali lets Ashlyn open the next present, a gift from Liz, one of their childhood friends. Liz opted to give Ali many small things from the registry instead of a larger present so Ashlyn gets to unwrap a bouncer, receiving blankets, a bunch of bottles and bibs, a few outfits and packs of hangers, and a little baby bathing kit--towels, washcloths, shampoo, and lotion all packed into an infant tub. “We’re going to get so much use out of all of this. Thanks, Liz,” Ali says, grinning as Ashlyn hands her the items so she can get a better look at them.

 

“I figured someone had to get the boring practical things,” Liz explains.

 

“It’s perfect,” Ali says, still smiling.

 

Ali ends up getting almost everything from her registry, including the more expensive items, so she’s incredibly grateful that she has so many wonderful people in her and the baby’s life. When the shower ends and everyone leaves, she rests on the couch, sore feet propped up on the coffee table while Ashlyn and Kyle pack all the presents into the car.

 

“Did you have a good shower?” Deb asks, sitting down next to Ali.

 

“I did,” Ali replies, resting her head on her mother’s shoulder.

 

“You want to tell me what you’re having yet?” Deb asks, hoping Ali’s resolve will be lessened in her tired state.

 

“Nope.”

 

“Come on,” Deb pleads. “How are you going to feel if this baby decides to do this to you one day? This is _torture._ ”

 

Ali laughs, shaking her head. Both of her parents have tried this exact tactic several times but she hasn’t cracked yet, determined to keep it a secret. It’s not like they care one way or the other and she likes the idea of handing them the baby in a few months, getting to watch their faces as she introduces them to their granddaughter. “Nice try but still no.”

 

Deb sighs dramatically, a last ditch effort to sway her stubborn daughter. “Has the baby settled down at all?” she asks, remembering that the baby was pretty active throughout the shower.

 

“Yeah,” Ali begins, rubbing her belly. “I think they finally fell asleep; I haven’t felt anything in the last half hour.”

 

Deb smiles, rubbing Ali’s belly as well. “You were so active when I was pregnant so it didn’t really come as much of a surprise when you really took to soccer.”

 

“What about Kyle?” Ali asks, looking up at her mom.

 

“He was pretty active too but not as much as you were. You seemed to kick me 24/7.”

 

“Were you scared when you had him?”

 

“Of course I was,” Deb replies, brushing Ali’s hair back from her face. “Every first time mom is scared but I promise, the second you hold that baby in your arms, everything will seem to come natural. You’ll see that baby’s face and everything will just click. I don’t know, it’s hard to explain.”

 

Ali mulls over Deb’s words for a few moments, taking them in. “I was so freaked out after my first sonogram,” she confesses. “But once I really took the time to look at it, I knew everything was going to be okay. Same with when I found out I was pregnant. I didn’t even take the test for a week because I was so scared but as soon as I saw it was positive, I just felt calm. Is it like that?” she asks, moving off of Deb’s shoulder so she can see her face better.

 

“It’s exactly like that but ten times over. Nothing compares to it, nothing in the entire world. Then there’s the first time your baby smiles at you, the first time they laugh, the first time they say ‘mama’, all of those wonderful little moments will mean everything to you.”

 

“I’m so excited, I don’t want to wait three more months,” Ali replies, leaning her head against the back of the couch.

 

“Honestly, honey, my best piece of advice is don’t rush it, okay? Don’t wish for anything to hurry up and just enjoy the moment you’re in because it’s so fleeting. Before you know it, you’ll be giving them parenting advice wondering where all the time went. And take as many pictures and videos as possible, even after you think you’ve taken enough and they beg you to stop because you’ll cherish every single one.”

 

“It’s funny, the baby isn’t even here yet and I already feel so much like a mom. Like I already know that I would do anything to protect them and that I’m always going to put them first and do whatever I have to to make sure we have a good life.”

 

“I was the same way when I was pregnant with both of you kids,” Deb says. “But I’ve always known you would make a great mom one day, even back when you and Ashlyn used to climb trees with your dolls.”

 

“I love you, mom.”

 

“I love you too, sweetie. I love you and Kyle more than anything. And the baby too, of course.”

 

“Of course,” Ali affirms. “I hope that I can be just half as great as you,” she muses, nervously picking at the skin underneath her thumbnail.

 

“Honey,” Deb starts, pulling her arm around Ali’s shoulder and pulling her in close, “you’re going to be even better. You’re so strong and I’m so proud of how you’ve handled everything. You have dad, Kyle, Ashlyn and I to help with whatever you need; this kid is going to turn out great.”

 

“You’re going to spoil them, aren’t you?”

 

“What else are grandparents for?” Deb asks, winking as Ali moves her head off of her shoulder.

 

They sit and chat about the shower for a few more minutes before Kyle and Ashlyn come back in and announce that all the gifts are packed in the car. They couldn’t fit everything into Ali’s SUV so they had to put some in Deb’s as well, which they planned on using anyway so Ali’s parents and Kyle can come help Ashlyn unload the heavier things at Ali’s place. When they get back home, Ali carries a lot of the smaller, lighter gifts while her family unloads the larger pieces of furniture. She directs traffic in the nursery, letting them know exactly where she envisions certain things. Deb and Kyle try to peek in the baby’s closet a few times, where they know Ali has stored anything that would give the gender away but Ali puts a stop to that by standing in front of the door as she tells them where to put things.

 

“Will you go get the tool kit?” Ashlyn asks, plopping down on the nursery floor as soon as Ali’s family leaves. Ali’s hanging up some of the new baby clothes and putting them in the closet so she pauses, turning around to see Ashlyn opening the changing table box, immediately reading the instructions.

 

“We don’t have to do that tonight,” Ali replies.

 

“Alex, we need to get everything done. Thanksgiving is in two weeks and then it’s Christmas and New Year’s and before you know it, the baby will be here and we won’t have time to get everything done. Can you please go get it?”

 

The last time Ali saw Ashlyn look this panicked was when she broke her arm during a soccer game when they were in 6th grade. Ashlyn, the team’s goalkeeper, landed the wrong way when she fearlessly dove for the ball and immediately started panicking, not knowing what was wrong. When she looked down and saw one of her bones at an unnatural angle, she started crying, calling for Ali. Ali had rushed to her side, refusing to leave until Ashlyn’s parents took her off the pitch to drive to the hospital. Later that night, when Ali visited Ashlyn at home, Ashlyn seemed more concerned about if the team won (they did, on a goal from Ali no less) than she was about her freshly broken and casted arm.

 

“Okay,” Ali says, nodding. She knows they have enough time to build the furniture, especially since Ashlyn has nearly three weeks off over the holiday break, but she knows this is Ashlyn’s way of caring, of playing her part. So she fetches the tool box and helps Ashlyn build the changing table without trying to sway Ashlyn to wait. She does, however, breathe a sigh of relief when Ashlyn agrees to wait on building the dresser which seems like more of an all day project.

 

“It’s really coming together,” Ashlyn comments when they’re finished. The changing table is on the wall across from the closet and perpendicular to where they plan on putting the crib.

 

“Yeah, I’m really glad we went with this natural wood color,” Ali replies, appreciating how the grey-ish brown wood plays off of the light grey walls and the natural tones of the decor. “It’s all so real.”

 

“And she’s coming _fast_ ,” Ashlyn adds, pressing a palm to Ali’s belly, feeling a kick underneath her hand.

 

“Thanks for that,” Ali jokes. “You just woke her up.”

 

“Sorry,” Ashlyn mumbles sheepishly, although she doesn’t look very sorry with her dimpled grin.

 

“You’re not sorry at all,” Ali replies, smiling as the baby continues to kick where Ashlyn’s hand is resting.

 

“And you’re not mad at all,” Ashlyn counters. “Besides, how could I ever be sorry about my little buddy loving me enough to wake up from her beauty rest for me? You don’t even do that.”

 

“That’s not fair, I’m busy _making_ your little buddy so I need twice as much beauty rest as I usually do.”

 

“Sure, sure,” Ashlyn replies, chuckling. “Can I read to her tonight?”

 

“Of course, let’s go get in bed,” Ali agrees, leading the way to her bedroom. Ever since Dr. Sauerbrunn told them that the baby could hear and recognize voices in the womb, she and Ashlyn have been sure to talk and read to the baby as much as possible (not that they didn’t before). Ashlyn has been particularly into it, arguing that the baby will know Ali is her mother the second she’s born but Ashlyn needs to make sure she recognizes her voice, wanting to have an immediate connection with her. So Ashlyn decided on reading the _Harry Potter_ series aloud to the baby, curling up next to Ali’s belly most nights to read the tale. They’ve already finished the first book so after they get into their pajamas and brush their teeth, Ashlyn grabs a well worn copy of _Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets_ off of the bedside table and picks up where they left off the last time. She keeps reading well after Ali falls asleep, still feeling the baby kick under her palm. When she finishes the fourth chapter, she puts her bookmark in and sets the book aside, bringing her face close to Ali’s belly.

 

“I love you, baby girl. You and your mommy are the most important people in my life and I can’t wait to meet you,” she whispers, not wanting to wake Ali up. She feels a kick right by her cheek, taking it as the baby’s way of saying she loves her too. “Goodnight,” she says, placing a gentle kiss to that spot on top of Ali’s clothes.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're all still enjoying--not too long before they finally get their act together ;) 
> 
> Your feedback on this story has been wonderful so far and I'm so glad you've been enjoying reading it because I really enjoy writing it. Next chapter covers the last few months of Ali's pregnancy and then there are some pretty important and exciting chapters after that so keep the comments coming and I won't keep you waiting too long (I have no shame haha)


	7. patience

The holiday season brings a rush of new excitement. Ali decides to host Thanksgiving, the first major holiday in her new home. At just under 30 weeks pregnant, she knows that cooking and cleaning all day might pose a bit of a challenge but she’s adamant about having the whole family over, wanting to show off the home she worked so hard to purchase. Once they realize that Ali isn’t going to budge, Deb graciously agrees to help with the majority of the food and house prep, not wanting Ali to be on her feet too much so late in her pregnancy. As much as Ali wants to do everything herself, she knows that she needs to accept her mom’s help in the kitchen so she agrees for Deb to come over early Thanksgiving morning to help get everything ready. Ali mostly sits at the breakfast bar, helping chop and season while Deb insists on doing most of the moving around--gathering ingredients from cabinets, putting things in the oven, and monitoring things that cook on the stove. Meanwhile, Ashlyn is tasked with making sure the house is clean and ready for guests, going through and cleaning all the surfaces in the living room, bedrooms, and bathrooms. She’s also in charge of ensuring that anything that could reveal the baby’s gender is tucked safely away from curious eyes, including temporarily replacing their framed sonogram pictures that proclaim ‘It’s a girl!’ with ones of the baby’s profile and no information on the gender. 

 

With Deb and Ashlyn’s help, everything comes together by the time guests start arriving around 3:00 and Ali is thankful that she can relax with her family without stressing about finishing cooking. 

 

“Oh, look at you,” Ali’s cousin, Katelyn, exclaims when she sees her. “You’re so cute!”

 

Ali leans in, hugging her cousin. “Thanks, Kate,” she replies, beaming. “How’s my little name twin doing?” She asks, crouching down to greet Allie. 

 

“Is that your baby?” Allie asks, putting her small hand to Ali’s belly. 

 

“That’s your little cousin,” Ali confirms, putting her hand on top of Allie’s. “The baby is sleeping right now but maybe later you can feel them kick.”

 

Allie frowns, narrowing her eyes in confusion. “Mommy said kicking isn’t nice. Why does the baby kick you?”

 

“The baby doesn’t kick to be mean,” Ali explains gently. “It’s how the baby says ‘hi’ to people because they can’t talk yet. And there’s not a lot of room in my tummy so they accidentally kick when they try to move around.”

 

“Will the baby say ‘hi’ to me?”

 

“Of course, as soon as they wake up.” Ali stands (with Katelyn’s help) and moves to greet the other family members who have piled into the entryway while Allie runs to greet Ashlyn, her kindergarten teacher. Ali sees some of her guests fairly often, especially the ones who live in the area or who came for her shower, but others she hasn’t seen in awhile so they fawn over her bump, asking all sorts of questions about her pregnancy and asking if she’s excited for the baby to come. Kyle can’t make it down from New York--he’s coming for Christmas and the baby’s birth so he decided to skip Thanksgiving--so they FaceTime with him after dinner so he can see everyone. After they hang up with Kyle, Katelyn asks if they can see the baby’s room so Ali leads them up the stairs, pausing outside the door. 

 

“It’s not quite finished yet,” she prefaces, swinging the door open. 

 

The nursery is fully painted and most of the furniture is build except for the crib, which had just been delivered the day before, so it’s still in the box propped up against the far wall. 

 

“This is beautiful,” Katelyn exclaims, looking around the room. “So is the crib going on the accent wall?” she asks. 

 

Ali nods. “Right under the map.”

 

“I really love this theme, how’d you come up with it?”

 

“Pinterest,” Ali replies. “And then I saw the map and Ikea and I knew it was what I was going to do. It’s great because when the baby is old enough to decide how they want to decorate, I’ll be able to use that in the living room or something so it definitely won’t go to waste when this room gets converted to children’s characters.”

 

“That’s actually perfect,” Katelyn compliments. “I can’t believe you’ve actually kept the gender a secret for this long. I couldn’t wait to tell everyone what I was having.”

 

“I kind of like that Ash and I are the only ones who know right now and I can’t wait to see the look on everyone’s faces when they find out after I give birth,” Ali explains. 

 

“Damn,” Katelyn mutters. “I really thought you were gonna crack there.”

 

Ali laughs. “Nice try but not going to happen.”

  
  


\---

 

The end of Thanksgiving brings the official start to the holiday shopping season as everyone rushes to buy for everyone on their shopping lists. After Ali’s 32 week appointment (which now occur every two weeks), she and Ashlyn venture to the crowded mall to finish their shopping. Ali’s adamant about getting everything done in this one trip, not wanting to make a second trip to the mall or order things online and risk them not making it in time, so they spend hours walking around as they tick everyone off of their lists, including picking up a few new things for the baby. There’s a close call in Children’s Place as they browse the infant girl stuff and see Deb walk in, talking with one of her friends. 

 

“Ash,” Ali whispers forcefully, pulling Ashlyn’s attention away from the all important debate of what leggings are cuter. “My mom’s here put those down.”

 

Ashlyn acts quickly, hanging everything back up on the rack and ducking with Ali until they reach the neutral section of the baby department. Luckily, Deb and her friend don’t spot them until they stand back up, Ali slyly grabbing something off of the rack in front of them to make it look like they were always browsing in the smaller neutral section of the store. 

 

“Oh, fancy seeing you here,” Deb greets, kissing Ali on the cheek. “How was the appointment?”

 

“It was really good. I switch to once a week appointments just after New Year’s.”

 

“The baby is getting really big,” Ashlyn adds. “Over 16 inches long now.”

 

“That’s great!” Deb exclaims. “And of course I can’t even catch you looking at the boy’s or girl’s section,” she playfully grumbles. 

 

“You’ll find out soon enough,” Ali replies, grinning. They browse the small section together, Deb picking out a grey onesie set with lambs on it, complete with a lamb hat. “You should probably get that in three to six months,” Ali suggests when she sees Deb reach for a newborn size. “I already have a lot of newborn stuff.”

 

“Good thinking,” Deb replies, reaching her hand back to select the larger size. 

 

They part ways after they finish up, knowing that they each have a lot of shopping to do for one another. Plus, Ali’s back is starting to hurt from walking around so much so she wants to finish everything up as quickly as possible to get home and prop her feet up. 

 

“That was way too close for comfort,” Ali says once they’ve headed in different directions. “You don’t think she noticed, do you?”

 

“There’s no way,” Ashlyn asserts. “You know she would’ve lost it if she found out she was getting a granddaughter, she’s never had a good poker face.”

 

“Yeah, I think you’re right.” 

 

“I’m mad about those leggings though, I might go back and get them,” Ashlyn says as they enter the next store. 

 

“Go for the purple ones with the hearts and the ruffle butt; those were too cute.”

 

Ashlyn nods, leaving Ali to browse through Macy’s alone for a few minutes while she goes to purchase the leggings and matching heart onesie. “Mission accomplished,” she says, opening the bag to show Ali the purchase when she returns. 

 

Thankfully, they manage to finish all of their shopping that afternoon which makes both of them, especially Ali, feel better that they won’t have to return to the busy mall for the rest of the season. 

 

\---

 

Kyle comes back into town two days before Christmas, gushing over how much bigger Ali and the baby have gotten since he was last home for Ali’s shower. Christmas itself is relatively uneventful as they spend the morning with Ali’s family and the evening with Ashlyn’s, neither family being able to resist that the dual Christmas makes them seem like a couple--as if living together and raising a baby together doesn’t already make them seem like a committed couple. 

 

Everyone is careful to get Ali both baby related and non baby related, which she greatly appreciates. It’s not that she doesn’t love the gifts for the baby but she loves all the things that are just for her, little reminders that she’s not  _ just  _ a mother to be. 

 

\---

 

Ali is 35 weeks pregnant by the time New Year’s rolls around so she and Ashlyn spend a quiet night at home watching coverage on the couch. Ashlyn had turned down offers for several parties, including Whitney’s back in Orlando. Ali tried to convince her that she should go but Ashlyn was adamant about staying by Ali and the baby’s side, not wanting to leave Ali home alone for the holiday. By 10:30, Ali is struggling to keep her eyes open as the clock continues to tick down but she’s determined to be awake to welcome 2017, the year that will change her life forever. Ashlyn notices her struggling to stay awake, so she keeps her talking as they watch the clock in the corner of the screen tick closer to the new year. 

 

“You know the worst part of being pregnant and single?” Ali asks an hour before midnight.

 

“What’s that?” 

 

“I  _ constantly  _ want sex but I don’t have anyone to sleep with.”

 

Ashlyn gulps, trying not to blush. “Does that really happen? I thought it was a myth.”

 

“Definitely not a myth,” Ali responds, laughing. “I mean, I’ve always liked sex but now sometimes it’s the only thing I can think about. And it’s not the same by myself, you know?”

 

“Yeah, not the same,” Ashlyn agrees, toying with the tag on the throw pillow. 

 

Ali sighs, studying Ashlyn’s face. In some way, she had hoped that mentioning her little dilemma to Ashlyn would prompt her to make a move but Ashlyn just sits there quietly, returning her attention to the TV. Of course, she could make a move on Ashlyn herself--after all, she’s wanted to since they were fifteen (and probably even before then) but something still holds her back. They both like women, are single, and live together, so Ali wonders why it is that Ashlyn doesn’t seem to be interested in her. She’s dated similar type women many times before, generally drifting towards gorgeous feminine brunettes so Ali has always assumed that Ashlyn has trouble seeing her as more than just a friend. 

 

“God, do you remember that one New Year’s party in high school?” Ali asks, changing the subject.

 

“Which one? The one where you puked in the bushes, the one where I puked in the bushes, or the one where we both puked in the bushes?”

 

“Oh, God, we were trouble,” Ali replies, laughing. “I was talking about the tandem barfing outside my parents’ house. I swear, I’ve never been more hungover than I was the next morning.”

 

“I’m actually surprised we still remember it. I still haven’t had cherry vodka since.”

 

“I tried it again in college and almost vomited. All I could think of was how it tasted when it came back up.”

 

Ashlyn shudders, remembering the sensation clearly. “And then we had to go back into your parents’ house and act like nothing was wrong. I couldn’t believe how lucky we were that they were already in bed.”

 

“I’d honestly still be grounded,” Ali half jokes. “Let’s just hope that my mini me has a strong aversion to alcohol.”

 

“I mean, if she’s actually your mini me, she’s going to want wine in her bottles.”

 

Ali laughs so hard her belly shakes and the baby wakes up. There’s significantly less space for the baby to move around now so the kicks and jabs aren’t quite as powerful as they once were, although Ali can still feel every movement. “I’ve been thinking about names a lot recently,” she says.

 

“So have I,” Ashlyn replies, grinning. “Which ones have you been thinking?”

 

“I think I’ve narrowed my picks down to Madeline and Hazel.”

 

“Do you have any ideas for her middle name?” Ashlyn asks. 

 

Ali pauses, not knowing what to say. As soon as they found out she’s having a girl, she’s loved the idea of giving her Ashlyn’s middle name, Michelle, as a way to thank Ashlyn for her support and to give them that permanent connection, however small it may be. But she doesn’t want to tell Ashlyn her plan until after the baby is born so she decides to fib a little. “Probably my own middle name,” she lies. “I like the idea of her being named after me in some way but I want her to have her own identity and that seems like a good way to do it.”

 

“Can’t argue with that.”

 

“What names were you thinking?” Ali asks.

 

“Mostly classic names so we’re on the same page there,” Ashlyn answers. “I like Charlotte and Olivia a lot but those are super popular right now so she would end up with like five different girls with the same name at daycare and school when the time comes.”

 

Ali thinks for a moment, pairing the names with both of their middle names, deciding that they pair well with both. “Charlotte Blaire is pretty cute,” she replies. “But, I don’t know, I kind of want to wait until I see her to make up my mind. Like, what if we settle on a name right now and then she doesn’t look like that name? I’d rather wait and see what she looks like. My parents almost named me Amber and then decided that I didn’t look like one so I definitely don’t want to pick something before I see her.” 

 

“I cannot imagine you as an Amber,” Ashlyn replies, Ali humming her agreement.

 

“I can’t believe that starting at midnight, I’ll be able to say that she’s coming this year,” Ali muses a few minutes later. 

 

“It’s so weird. It seemed so far away when you first told me but now look at you,” Ashlyn says, pointing to Ali’s large belly. “She’ll be here in just over a month.”

 

They’re quiet for a few moments, watching one of the musical acts on TV as the countdown gets closer and closer to midnight. When they get to a minute out, they watch as the ball begins to drop, wrapped up in their own thoughts about the year to come as the crowd in Times Square counts down the final seconds of 2016. At ten seconds to midnight, Ali and Ashlyn stand and begin counting, cheering and hugging when 2017 begins. After they break apart, Ashlyn surprises Ali by dropping to her knees, pressing a kiss to her belly. 

 

“Happy new year, little one,” Ashlyn cheers, lips brushing against Ali’s belly, one hand on either side of it. “I can’t wait to meet you.” She stands, smiling at Ali who’s watching her curiously. “What?”

 

Ali shakes her head. “Nothing,” she replies, expression unreadable. 

 

“I had to have my New Year’s kiss, don’t judge me.”

 

“I’m not judging,” Ali replies, placing a gentle hand on Ashlyn’s cheek. “You’re adorable and I love how much you love her.”

 

“I don’t think I could love her more if she was my own,” Ashlyn replies honestly. “You ready for this year?”

 

“I can’t wait.”

 

\---

 

The night before Ali hits the 38 week mark, she starts to have contractions. They start just after dinner, some of them even powerful enough to take her breath away. She tells Ashlyn excitedly, telling her it’s time to go to the hospital. 

 

Ashlyn springs into action immediately, rushing around the house to gather anything they might need. She helps Ali to the car, tosses the hospital bags in the car, and runs to the driver’s side. She speeds to the hospital, calling Dr. Sauerbrunn on the way. 

 

“Calm down,” Ali says gently after Ashlyn hangs up with Dr. Sauerbrunn. “It’s okay.”

 

“I’ll calm down when we get there safely, okay?” Ashlyn snaps. She pauses, immediately feeling bad about her tone. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap.”

 

“It’s okay,” Ali replies, seeing the hospital come into view, firmly pressing a hand to her belly. “Look, we’re here now.” 

 

Ashlyn pulls into the parking lot, throwing the car in park, and sprints around to Ali’s side, helping her out of the car. Luckily, they’re parked near the front doors so the walk is short. When they enter the lobby of the maternity ward, they’re immediately checked in by a young woman at the front desk and Ali is wheeled away by a nurse, Ashlyn trotting alongside them. Dr. Sauerbrunn was already at the hospital so they don’t have to wait long before she comes in to check on Ali. When she does, she has a concerned look on her face.

 

“Is everything okay?” Ali questions as her doctor checks the little contractions monitor. 

 

Dr. Sauerbrunn nods. “Do you know what Braxton Hicks contractions are?” she asks. 

 

“Isn’t that false labor?” Ashlyn offers. 

 

“Exactly right,” Dr. Sauerbrunn replies, smiling. “And that seems to be what you’re experiencing.”

 

Ali pauses, eyes going wide when she realizes what’s happening (or not happening, in this case). “So I’m not in labor?” she asks. 

 

“No, not yet,” Dr. Sauerbrunn replies, shaking her head. “These contractions are too irregular and not powerful enough for you to really be in labor so you’re definitely experiencing Braxton Hicks.” 

 

“Oh my god,” Ali whispers. “I’m so sorry. I thought they were real.”

 

“No worries at all,” Dr. Sauerbrunn replies with a sympathetic smile. “Trust me, it happens to first time moms almost every day. When the real contractions start, they’ll be somewhat timely and much more powerful than these ones.” She unhooks Ali from the machines, offering to follow Ali back down to the front desk to have her discharged properly. 

 

“Don’t you dare say anything,” Ali warns Ashlyn as they walk back to the car, her metaphorical tail between her legs. 

 

“I would never,” Ashlyn promises, placing her hand on the small of Ali’s back when she sees that Ali’s trying to rub a knot out of it. “It was a good dry run for the real thing,” she muses once they’re back on their way home.

 

“I can’t believe real contractions are going to be  _ worse  _ than that,” Ali notes. Part of the reason she’d been so convinced that it was labor, despite knowing about Braxton Hicks, was that the pain was beyond anything else she’d ever experienced which Dr. Sauerbrunn told her was just practice for the real thing. The baby can come at any time now so Ali’s body is preparing to give birth through these practice contractions. Besides, feeling contractions start had gotten Ali incredibly excited, thinking that she would get to meet her baby that night. Instead, they’ve been sent home from the hospital and she has to wait for however long the baby decides to take. 

 

When they get home, Ashlyn secures the carseat in the car (they’d forgotten it this time) and leaves the packed hospital bags in the trunk so everything is prepared for when Ali really goes into labor. 

 

“Sorry for all the excitement, sweetie,” Ali says, rubbing her belly where she feels the baby moving. “I was just a little too eager to meet you.” She pauses, curling up to her pregnancy pillow and looking at the little bassinet that’s already situated next to her bed, ready for the baby’s arrival. “You can come anytime you want now, everything is ready for you.”

 

\---

 

As it turns out, the baby decides to take her sweet old time, Ashlyn beginning to refer to her as a princess who’s waiting to make her grand entrance into the world. 

 

“I thought I was princess,” Ali demands, crossing her arms. 

 

Ashlyn laughs, rolling her eyes at Ali’s reluctance to give up her own claim on the nickname. “You’re queen now,” Ashlyn replies. “You’ve been elevated now that we’re waiting on a tiny princess to make her debut.”

 

“Well she’s already got her pumpkin,” Ali jokes, pointing down to her massive 40 week belly. Her due date is the next day and she’s starting to get incredibly anxious just waiting around for (real) contractions to start. At their most recent appointment, Dr. Sauerbrunn said that Ali was likely to be overdue by the time the baby actually comes but promises that they’ll induce her on February 13th if there’s still no sign of the baby wanting to come out. In the meantime, she gave Ali a list of things that can help naturally induce labor. 

 

Ashlyn is about to respond when Deb and Ken walk in the door with their Thai food carryout. Although Ali isn’t normally one for spicy foods, she now knows that they can help induce labor so she had selected the spiciest thing on the menu. “Hot, hot, hot,” she exclaims, downing her entire glass of water after her first bite. 

 

“I told you it would be too spicy for you,” Ken replies, switching their containers. “Have mine, you’ll like it better.”

 

“I need to eat spicy stuff so the baby will come,” Ali counters, trying to take her container back.

 

“Honey,” Deb begins gently. “The baby will come when the baby is ready to come, there’s not really much you can do, okay? I tried all those tricks with Kyle and they still had to induce me a week and a half after he was supposed to come. So just enjoy your last few days of pregnancy and uninterrupted sleep because before you know it, you’re going to wish you could put the baby back in if that means keeping a normal sleep schedule.”

 

“Fine,”Ali grumbles, taking a bite of what her dad ordered which is thankfully more her speed. “You know I’m very impatient though,” she adds. 

 

“Trust me, this baby is going to test your patience in more ways than one. Waiting for the arrival is nothing compared to some of the stuff the kid will put you through,” Ken replies. 

 

“Very comforting. Thanks, dad,” Ali replies sarcastically, eliciting a laugh from both of her parents and Ashlyn. 

 

“I’m not trying to scare you. I’m just saying that you have to learn to wait with kids.” 

  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to jump through time a bit in this one to get you guys to the good stuff. The next few chapters are some of my faves (I'm sure you can guess why) so I'll probably post one tomorrow and then the other Friday or maybe even Thursday if you guys leave lots of comments (again, no shame). Don't want to keep you waiting too long ;)


	8. here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> baby Krieger's birth

And wait she does.

 

Her due date comes and goes without any signs of labor, much to her dismay. She’s now already on maternity leave so she spends entire days arranging and rearranging the nursery, often enlisting Ashlyn’s help moving heavier pieces of furniture when she returns home from work, only to end up with everything in the exact same place it started in. Ashlyn, although supportive as always, is at her wit’s end with Ali’s extreme nesting. There’s nothing she can do to stop it, she knows, so she tries as hard as possible to play along, knowing how tense Ali is and how frustrated she gets the longer she goes beyond the due date. Until this point, Ali has actually loved being pregnant, loved knowing what her body is doing and talking about how she hopes she gets to do it again someday but now she curses the entire concept, asking why it isn’t men that have to go through this.

 

“I just want to give birth,” Ali cries one night while Ashlyn rubs her feet. “I’m massive and tired and my entire body hurts all the time and I just want to hold my baby in my arms and I don’t think that’s too much to ask.”

 

“I know, Alex,” Ashlyn responds gently, cringing at the death look Ali gives her, knowing she's said something wrong but not quite sure what it was.

 

“No, you don’t know, Ashlyn. You don’t know what it’s like to carry something the size of a watermelon in your stomach for nine months and get so big that you can’t even see your own feet and then just watch your due date come and go like it’s nothing.”

 

“Hey,” Ashlyn whispers so softly that Ali feels bad for snapping. “I was just sympathizing, okay? I know I don’t understand but I do feel for you.”

 

“I’m sorry for being mean,” Ali replies. “I’m just so over this,” she says, gesturing to her belly.

 

“She’s gonna be here soon,” Ashlyn assures. “Two more days _at most_ because Dr. Sauerbrunn said she’ll induce you Monday morning if she’s not here by then. That’s it. Two more days and then you’ll have a lifetime to spend with that little nugget and pay her back for putting you through this.”

 

“You think I should ground her for this as soon as she comes out?” Ali jokes, eyes still shining with her subsiding tears.

 

“Nah, I think you should take it easy on her this time. It has to be pretty scary, getting ready to come into the world like that. I don’t blame her for holding on as long as possible.”

 

Ali smiles, moaning as Ashlyn continues to rub her sore feet. “You really are the best.”

 

“I know,” Ashlyn replies, grinning. “I’m pretty great.”

 

Later that night, Ali is woken up from her deep sleep by a contraction. A real contraction. Although it’s painful, much more painful than the practice ones, she actually cries tears of joy when she feels it. This time, she wants to be absolutely sure she’s in labor before getting Ashlyn excited so she waits until the next one, just as powerful as the first, before carefully getting out of bed (with much more difficulty than normal at 41 weeks pregnant) and making her way down to Ashlyn’s room. “Ash,” she whispers, shaking the blonde’s shoulder. When Ashlyn continues to snore, Ali shakes her a little harder. “Ashlyn,” she says more forcefully, still not able to wake her. She leans close to her ear. “The baby is coming,” she says, dodging Ashlyn’s forehead as she sits bolt upright in bed.

 

“Jesus, Al, you scared the shit out of me,” Ashlyn says, putting her hand to her rapidly beating heart.

 

“I just thought you would want to know that the baby is coming.”

 

Ashlyn’s eyes go wide, meeting Ali’s. “Oh my god, are you sure?”

 

“I’m positive. It’s going to be a while still, they’re about 20 minutes apart, but she’s definitely coming.”

 

Ashlyn smiles, her entire face lighting up as she wraps her arms around Ali’s neck, hugging her. “You’re going to do great,” she whispers, kissing Ali on the cheek. Ali nods but doesn’t respond, leaning into Ashlyn’s comforting embrace.

 

“I’m going to shower,” Ali announces, using the leverage of Ashlyn’s bed to stand up. “I want to be as clean as possible for all the pictures later.”

 

Ashlyn nods, knowing this will give her the opportunity to fall back asleep to prepare for what is sure to be a long day. “Call me if you need anything.”

 

Ali takes her time in the bathtub, the warm water soothing her contracting abdomen and relaxing her mind. _I’m ready for this_ , she thinks, head resting against the back of the tub as her contractions get closer and closer together. She’s not sure how long she’s in there--an hour, maybe two--before she finally washes her hair, towel drying it as she steps out of the draining tub. She doesn’t put clothes on just yet, instead opting to wear her fluffy robe as she walks into her bedroom from her bathroom, surprised to find Ashlyn sitting up in her bed, dressed and ready to go.

 

“I was beginning to think you’d drowned,” Ashlyn jokes, looking up from her phone when she sees Ali. It’s still the middle of the night, only 3:00am based on the clock on Ali’s bedside table but both women are fully awake (Ashlyn hadn’t been able to fall back asleep), anxiously awaiting the baby’s arrival. Ali has Ashlyn french braid her damp hair, knowing that she’ll want it back and out of her face when they get to the hospital. It feels like so many of the other times Ashlyn has helped with her hair--before school dances, before every single soccer game they played together (Ali insisted it was good luck but really she just liked how gentle Ashlyn was), and like the very first time they met when Ashlyn innocently tightened a classmate’s hair, not knowing where that action would ultimately lead them. “You’re good to go, little mommy,” Ashlyn says, patting Ali’s shoulder when she finally wraps a hair tie around the end of Ali’s long braid.

 

Ali’s about to reply when another contraction hits, her response getting caught in her throat as she gasps. Ashlyn holds her through her contraction, waiting for it to subside before she even thinks about speaking.

 

“How far apart are they now?” she asks.

 

“About ten minutes,” Ali responds. “She’s still taking her time.”

 

They still have a while to wait so they do almost anything they can to pass the time until they can call Dr. Sauerbrunn and head to the hospital. Ashlyn even decides to paint Ali’s finger and toenails to pass the time, mentioning that she thinks the small touch will help Ali feel more put together after she gives birth.

 

“You’re much more calm this time,” Ali notes as Ashlyn finishes painting her nails. “Maybe that whole episode a few weeks ago was good for both of us.”

 

“I told you it was a good practice run,” Ashlyn says. “Everything’s still in your car, right?”

 

“Right,” Ali confirms. “My hospital bag, the diaper bag, and the car seat are all in there.”

 

“You sure you want me in the room with you instead of your mom?”

 

“I’m positive,” Ali replies, nodding. “So you better be ready for me to squeeze the shit out of your hand.”

 

“I’ll make sure the nurses can bring me an ice pack.”

 

Ali’s contractions quickly start coming closer and closer together until finally, they’re six minutes apart and Ali dials Dr. Sauerbrunn’s number, telling her she’s been having regular contractions for the last few hours and that they’re now coming in at six minutes apart. Dr. Sauerbrunn listens, giving them the go ahead to notify family and meet her at the hospital.

 

“I can’t believe she’s finally coming,” Ali says once they’re on the way to the hospital. She looks down at her belly, getting a last good look at it before she gives birth. “Try not to cause me too much pain, okay?” she says, resting her hand on the firm skin. The baby doesn’t listen, apparently, as she’s hit with the worst contraction yet just a few seconds later, wordlessly reaching for Ashlyn’s hand to squeeze.

 

“See? Already doesn’t like to listen, just like her mommy,” Ashlyn quips once Ali’s contraction subsides.

 

“Do me a favor and don’t ever speak to me again,” Ali replies tersely, crossing her arms over her chest.

 

They make it to the hospital just in time as Ali’s water breaks while she’s getting checked in at the desk. It’s a sensation unlike anything she’s ever felt in her life and certainly one of her more embarrassing moments (she initially thought she peed herself) but the nurses assure her that it happens all the time and quickly get her into a room so she can change out of her wet clothes and into the dry hospital gown. Her parents arrive a few minutes later, announcing that Kyle is already on a flight out and that he might even make it before the baby comes.

 

Labor, like the last few weeks of her pregnancy moves excruciatingly slow and Kyle makes it with lots of time to spare, squeezing Ali tightly while their parents head to the cafeteria for lunch. “I’m so excited to finally be an uncle,” he exclaims when he pulls away from Ali.

 

“I’m excited to not be pregnant anymore,” Ali says from her place in bed. A nurse walks in just as another contraction hits, announcing that she’s going to check how dilated Ali is. She’s still only eight centimeters dilated so although her labor is progressing, they still have a little while to go before she can start pushing.

 

Ashlyn can tell Ali is getting antsy so she excuses herself for a moment, making a trip down to the gift shop and picking up a deck of cards, knowing that it will help them pass the time. “Let’s play something,” she says, holding up the deck of cards as she re-enters the room. Deb and Ken return as she’s shuffling the deck so Kyle, Deb, Ashlyn, and Ali all decide to play Euchre while Ken watches a replay of the previous night’s hockey game on tv. Ali and Ashlyn absolutely smoke Deb and Kyle as they play, having formed an excellent card playing partnership during their time spent on team busses going to soccer tournaments. They play for over an hour, pausing the game when each contraction hits before a nurse clears the room (except for Ashlyn) to check how much Ali has progressed, announcing that she should be ready to start pushing just as soon as Dr. Sauerbrunn comes to check on her.

 

Dr. Sauerbrunn and her small team arrive a few minutes later, having just finished up a c-section down the hall. “How you feeling, Ali?” she asks as she thoroughly washes her hands and forearms, everyone else in her team taking their turn after her.  

 

“Like I’m in labor and ready to have a baby,” Ali replies.

 

“How far apart are the contractions?” Dr. Sauerbrunn asks, looking at the nurse, Christen.

 

“About two minutes,” Christen replies.

 

“Perfect,” Dr. Sauerbrunn says, settling between Ali’s propped up legs. “Well,” she begins a few seconds later, “you are ready to start pushing”.

 

“Really?” Ali asks.

 

“Really. We’re going to get you started as soon as the next contraction hits which, based on your contraction patterns, should happen any moment now.”

 

As if on cue, Ali’s next contraction comes just as Dr. Sauerbrunn finishes speaking. “You’ve got this, remember to breathe,” Ashlyn says, taking Ali’s hand as she begins to push.

 

It’s hard, harder than anything she’s ever done and Ali is incredibly thankful that Dr. Sauerbrunn lets her take a break from pushing in between contractions. Even after just one round of pushing, Ali is exhausted and drops her head back onto the pillow, panting and sweating. “I take it back, I’ll just stay pregnant forever,” she says to no one in particular.

 

“You’re doing such a great job,” Ashlyn comforts, using the little break to get circulation back into her hand.

 

Ali smiles, taking a deep breath as she feels the beginning of another contraction. She sits back up, reaching for Ashlyn’s hand to squeeze as she begins her second round of pushing.

 

“That’s it,” Dr. Sauerbrunn soothes during the next break between contractions. “I see her head, it won’t be too long now.”

 

“You do?” Ali breathes, her voice full of excited wonder.

 

“Just a few more pushes,” Dr. Sauerbrunn assures, positioning her hands to catch the baby.

 

Ali pushes with everything she has in her, amazed at her own strength as Dr. Sauerbrunn announces that the baby is crowning. During the next pause between contractions, Ashlyn asks Ali’s permission to look which Ali grants, figuring that there’s nothing she can ever hide from Ashlyn at this point. When Ashlyn takes a peek and looks back at Ali with wide, frightened eyes, Ali can’t quite help but bust out laughing.

 

“I should not have looked,” Ashlyn says, stunned as moves back to Ali’s side, decidedly not looking anymore.

 

“I wish I had a picture of your face just now,” Ali replies, still laughing.

 

“Alright, last one,” Dr. Sauerbrunn promises as the next contraction hits. Ali closes her eyes, sweating and grunting as she gives a last few pushes, feeling Dr. Sauerbrunn gently rotating the baby’s shoulders, helping pull her out. Finally, _finally_ , Ali hears a tiny little cry and lets out one of her own as the nurses wipe the baby down, setting her on Ali’s chest for a moment before they have to weigh and measure her.

 

“My sweet baby girl,” Ali chokes, hands immediately going to touch her baby, to feel her skin. “You’re here, you’re finally here.”

 

“You want to cut the umbilical cord, Ash?” Dr. Sauerbrunn asks.

 

Ashlyn nods, (unsuccessfully) fighting back tears of her own at the sight of Ali and the baby crying. They move quickly, not wanting to separate baby and mother for too long and Ashlyn finally lets her tears flow freely when she cuts the umbilical cord and a nurse wraps her in a blanket, handing the baby to Ashlyn to place in Ali’s arms. “Alex, she’s absolutely beautiful,” Ashlyn breathes, carefully walking across the room with the newborn. She sits down next to Ali on the bed, passing the baby to Ali for a few minutes until Dr. Sauerbrunn says that they still need to deliver the placenta.

 

“You got her?” Ali asks, handing the baby to Ashlyn for the final step of delivery.

 

“I’ve got her,” Ashlyn confirms, gently rocking the tiny bundle as Ali and Dr. Sauerbrunn finish up. Finally, the nurses get everything cleaned up and it’s just Ali, Ashlyn, and the tiny six and a half pound baby Krieger.

 

“I can’t believe she’s here,” Ali cries, using two arms to cradle her daughter out in front of her, getting a good look at her face.

 

“She looks just like you,” Ashlyn notes, pointing out their same nose and eye shape (the baby’s are currently blue but they’ll likely change to brown as she gets bigger). “She’s even got a big mouth like you. That wail, I can’t.”

 

“Hush, you,” Ali replies, tearing her eyes away from her daughter to look at her most faithful friend. “Thank you,” she says. “Thank you for everything. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

 

“I love you,” Ashlyn replies, wiping tears away and moving in to kiss Ali’s forehead. “And I love you,” she coos, leaning forward to kiss the baby’s forehead as well. “So what name do you think fits?” she questions, sitting back up next to Ali.

 

“What do you think?” Ali asks, looking towards Ashlyn for guidance. “Olivia, Charlotte or Madeline?”

 

Ashlyn thinks for a minute, studying the baby’s tiny, delicate features. “I think she looks like a Madeline,” she answers finally.

 

“I think so too,” Ali agrees. She brings her knees up, resting the baby on her thighs. “What do you think, little one? Do you like Madeline?” Ali watches as the baby opens her eyes at the movement and the sound of her voice.

 

“Well, she’s not crying so I’ll take that as a good sign,” Ashlyn says, stroking the baby’s cheek.

 

“Madeline it is,” Ali declares, bringing her close to her face. “Little Madeline Krieger.”

 

“Madeline Blaire Krieger,” Ashlyn says, remembering Ali wanted to use her own middle name for the baby.

 

Ali lets it slide for the moment, wanting to tell Ashlyn when she can get to her phone to take a video of the moment she tells her the baby’s real middle name. She sends Ashlyn out to get her family from the waiting room, gently rocking Madeline as she waits. Ashlyn, knowing that Ali wants a video of the moment her family is introduced to its newest member, makes the three of them wait out in the hallway for a few seconds until she can get her phone out, starting a recording when she finally calls them inside. They all gather around Ali’s bed, cooing at the baby in her arms, all three of them wiping tears away from their eyes.

 

Ali turns to her mom first, knowing she’d never hear the end of it if she wasn’t the first one to hold her grandchild (besides her and Ashlyn, of course). “Would you like to hold your granddaughter?” she asks.

 

“It’s a girl?” Deb chokes out, reaching to take the sleeping baby.

 

“It’s a girl,” Ali confirms.

 

Ken and Kyle watch on as Deb takes the baby from Ali’s arms, gently bouncing the infant. “Wow, it’s like I’ve taken a time machine back to when you were born,” Deb notes, taking in how much her grandaughter looks like Ali.

 

They all take turns passing her around, everyone so wrapped up in her little face that they don’t even ask her name. After Kyle takes his turn, Ali motions for him to come closer to her, whispering in his ear to give the baby to Ashlyn and then ask her name. Ali quickly grabs her phone from the little stand next to her bed, holding it up as Kyle hands the baby to Ashlyn.

 

“What’s her name?” he asks.

 

“Madeline Michelle,” Ali replies, grinning.

 

Ashlyn’s eyes go wide, instantly shining with tears as she looks at Ali to confirm what she thinks she just heard.

 

“Are you serious?” Ashlyn asks, her eyes pleading with Ali to tell her that it’s not some cruel joke.

 

“I’m completely serious,” Ali says. “Her name is Madeline Michelle Krieger.”

 

“Alex that’s--” Ashlyn stops, looking down at her tiny little namesake. “Are you sure?”

 

Ali nods. “I’m absolutely positive,” she replies, starting to cry again herself. “She’s so lucky to have you--we both are--and there’s no better person to name her after.”

 

“Even though that makes her initials ‘mmk’?” Ashlyn asks, humming out the sound.

 

“Yes, I’m sure,” Ali replies, laughing. Madeline starts fussing a little so Ali stops the recording on her phone, reaching her hands out to take her from Ashlyn. Figuring she must be hungry, she swiftly unbuttons her hospital gown--her dad and Kyle turning towards the TV for a second to avoid seeing more than they want to see--and watches as Madeline latches immediately, trying to get milk to come out. It takes a few tries (and a visit from a lactation consultant a few minutes later) before Madeline finally seems happy and stays latched for a few minutes, filling her little belly.

 

“See?” Deb says when Ali buttons her gown back up and moves to burp Madeline. “You’re a natural.”

 

“Thanks, mom,” Ali beams.

 

Once Madeline is burped and her diaper is changed, the other Kriegers each take another turn holding the newborn before they say their goodbyes, knowing that Ali, Madeline, and Ashlyn probably need to rest after a long day.

 

“Come sit,” Ali says, patting the empty space next to her on the bed. Ashlyn nods, getting up from her chair and carefully sitting down next to where Ali is sitting with a sleeping Madeline in her arms.

 

“She really is gorgeous, Alex,” Ashlyn marvels.

 

“Duh, she looks like me,” Ali sasses, tongue poking through her teeth as she smiles.

 

“I can’t even argue with that because it’s true.”

 

Ali smiles, returning her attention to Madeline. _I have a daughter,_ she thinks, looking at the baby that already looks so much like her. It still feels like a dream, the daydreams she used to have about having a family of her own. It’s not necessarily how she envisioned it, not quite. But they have each other and they have Ashlyn and both of their families (Ashlyn’s has been amazingly supportive and helpful as well) and so, so much love to share. Madeline shifts a little in her sleep and Ali watches her in wonder, amazed that she’s _real_ and she’s _here._ She’d known this was coming, of course, from even before she broke down and took the pregnancy test that confirmed her suspicions--her fears. But no amount of knowing, of planning, could have prepared her for watching her hours old daughter sleep peacefully in her arms. This tiny human who was just the size of a blueberry when they saw her for the first time is now part of the world and she has a permanent hold on Ali’s heart.

 

Ashlyn watches mother and daughter from her place next to Ali. As soon as she got that first phone call from Ali, the one that changed the course of both of their futures, she knew that Ali would be an amazing mom. She’s always been nurturing, always wanted a family. And now she has one of the things she’s wanted the most. It almost makes her laugh, thinking of all the times Ali has set her mind to something and gotten it. A car by their junior year of high school. A college scholarship to a competitive division I soccer program. A good job in advertising with the opportunity for advancement. A house. To be a good mother. Check, check, check, check, and check. Ali’s always been the type to work for what she wants, not truly living up to her ‘princess’ nickname in that sense, and Ashlyn knows this will spark her greatest work ethic yet. And little Madeline--a baby who shares her middle name, a baby who looks so much like the woman Ashlyn has loved in one way or another for nearly her entire life--she already loves her more than she ever thought possible. She makes a mental promise to her (and later a verbal one when Ali showers) that she’ll do everything in her power to take care of her and Ali. She doesn’t really remember much of her life before Ali--maybe a Christmas and a birthday or two--and she smiles knowing that this baby, Madeline _Michelle_ , will never even know a life before her, let alone remember one.

 

“You want to hold her?” Ali offers.

 

Ashlyn nods, wordlessly moving to take the sleeping baby from Ali’s arms. She stirs a little, opening her eyes before closing them again. “I love her so much already,” Ashlyn says, not taking her eyes off of the little girl.

 

“I know, me too,” Ali agrees. “No offence but she’s kind of already taken your spot as my favorite human.”

 

“That’s funny,” Ashlyn begins, meeting Ali’s eyes, “because she’s taken your spot as my favorite”.

 

\---

 

Ali and Madeline are discharged from the hospital the afternoon following Madeline’s birth and Ali’s so excited to take her home that she nearly vibrates with excitement as the nurse finishes up the final paperwork.

 

“You ready to go home, baby girl?” Ali asks, looking down into the infant carrier to see Maddie (as she’s already been dubbed) sleeping soundly. She’s dressed in a little red onesie with glittery white hearts all over it and black leggings, the perfect outfit for the day before Valentine’s day.

 

With all the paperwork finalized, Ashlyn goes to pull the car around to the front door, watching from the driver’s seat as Ali secures the carseat and climbs into the back herself, arm draped over the infant carrier. “Let’s go home,” Ashlyn says, pulling away from the hospital. She ends up driving so slow on the way back home that even a semi truck gets frustrated as passes them, Ali making fun of her from the backseat. Her words to little to encourage Ashlyn to drive any faster--she argues that she has precious cargo and that she's going to take her sweet time getting them home safely.

 

When they finally arrive home, the usual fifteen minute drive taking nearly thirty, Ashlyn runs ahead of Ali so she's inside snapping pictures with her phone, capturing the moment Madeline comes home for the first time. “This is your house,” Ali coos, swiftly removing her from the carrier the second they’re in the door.

 

Although they know she’s too little to understand anything, they excitedly give her a full tour of the house before finally making their way to Ali’s room, ready for a much needed nap.

 

“You have your own bed, you know,” Ali jokes when Ashlyn climbs into bed next to her.

 

“I don’t want to miss anything,” Ashlyn replies. Ali turns her head to look at her, seeing her own exhaustion etched onto Ashlyn’s face as well. She looks more exhausted than Ali has ever seen her but her face is full of so much joy, contentment, and love that Ali feels like she’s looking into a mirror.

 

“Well that’s okay because you’ll have to give up your room and sleep with me for the next kid.”

 

Ashlyn sighs dramatically. “I guess I can take one for the team,” she quips. “She’s so little,” she says, watching Madeline sleep in the bassinette.

 

“She didn’t feel so little when she was coming out of me.” She pauses, watching the gentle rise and fall of her newborn daughter’s chest. “But she was worth every second, every single second.”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tbh I cried a little while writing this. Whoops. 
> 
> Next chapter (the one I think you're all waiting for) will be up tomorrow so...yeah. 
> 
> Also, I pronounce Madeline with a silent second e (like lyn instead of line) but obviously you can think of it however you want.


	9. yours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super long chapter for you guys. Heed the rating ;)

One of the first things Ali figures out about being a new mom is that you can learn to do almost anything with one arm. Just like when they were kids and would use one arm to climb up to the tree house, carrying their dolls in the other, they each learn to do all sorts of household tasks with one arm, gently rocking Madeline in the other. The few times they try to put Maddie down to get something more complex done, she starts crying almost immediately and they have to pick her back up again before a full blown meltdown. Ashlyn feels for the little girl, knowing how much she loves to be cuddled herself so they adapt without complaint, learning how to do pretty much everything with one arm. 

 

Ashlyn is unsurprisingly an amazing help and Ali frequently wonders how in the world she ever would've done all this alone, without such constant help and support. Since Ashlyn isn’t technically Madeline’s mom, she can’t take any sort of parental leave from work after her birth so she reluctantly continues working while Ali stays home with the baby. They’ve fallen into a comfortable schedule of Ali taking care of Madeline during the day and Ashlyn taking over most of the duties in the evening to give Ali a bit of a break to shower and do whatever else she needs to rest her mind and body. Ali’s parents also prove to be a great help as well, often preparing dinners and bringing them over, the small gesture going a long way to help Ali and Ashlyn in the transition. 

 

Two months after Madeline’s birth, both she and Ali come down with a terrible cold. With Ali hardly able to leave the bed to take care of herself, Ashlyn calls in sick on the last day of school before spring break to take care of her favorite girls. 

 

“How you feeling?” she asks gently, entering Ali’s room after checking on Madeline.

 

“Terrible,” Ali croaks, covers tucked tightly under her chin as she tries to get warm. “How’s Maddie?”

 

Ashlyn sighs, wishing there was a way to spin things that won’t make Ali feel worse than she already does. It’s no use, she decides, Ali knows that poor little Madeline is even more sick than she is, her brand new immune system trying its best to fight it off. “Sick,” she answers honestly. “She threw up again so I changed her and her sheets. But she’s sleeping now so hopefully she sleeps some of this off.” 

 

“I’m a terrible mother,” Ali cries, curling up on her side. 

 

“Hey,” Ashlyn begins gently, crossing the room to lay next to Ali. “You’re a great mother. Kids get sick, there’s nothing you can do to protect her from stuff like this.”

 

“I shouldn’t have taken her to the store though,” Ali protests. 

 

Ashlyn brushes Ali’s sweaty hair away from her face. “Alex, it happens, okay? She’ll bounce back like nothing ever happened. In the meantime, is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”

 

“Do we have soup?”

 

“I picked some up after work yesterday,” Ashlyn replies. “Do you want chicken noodle, tomato, or broccoli cheese?”

 

“Chicken,” Ali replies, still shivering. 

 

Ashlyn gets out of bed, ensuring that Ali is tucked in tightly to preserve all her body heat. “Chicken noodle soup and cold medicine coming right up,” she announces, making her way back out of Ali’s room. She pauses at Madeline’s door for a second, breathing a sigh of relief when she sees that she’s still sleeping peacefully. Ten minutes later, she’s carefully making her way back upstairs, carrying a tray with Ali’s soup, a glass of water, and a new package of cold and flu medicine up to Ali’s room. “Take the medicine first,” Ashlyn commands, opening the package, handing Ali two of the little pills. 

 

Ali gulps down as much of the soup as she possibly can, the warm liquid soothing her sore throat. By the time she’s done, her fever has broken a little and she’s kicked off all the covers, now trying to cool down instead of warm up. She’s about to get up to check on a crying Madeline when Ashlyn stops her, telling her that she’ll take care of whatever it is. 

 

“Will you bring her to me?” Ali requests, laying her head back on the pillow. “I miss her.”

 

“Of course,” Ashlyn replies, smiling. She jogs down the hall to Madeline’s room, plucking her out of her crib. “It’s okay,” she coos, holding her close to her chest. Her little nose is stuffy so Ashlyn grabs the suction bulb, lays her gently on the changing table, and sucks out as much as she can. She still cries when she’s done, however, so Ashlyn assumes she’s hungry and brings her back to Ali’s room, smiling when Ali’s tired face lights up at the sight of her daughter, despite how sick they both are. 

 

“Hi baby,” Ali rasps, taking her from Ashlyn’s arms. After verifying that it’s okay to breastfeed while taking cold medicine, Ali opens her robe and watches as Madeline latches instantly. She doesn’t seem terribly hungry, not as much as usual, but she does manage to eat a little before she gives up, immediately falling asleep against Ali’s bare chest. 

 

Ashlyn lets the sweet moment between mother and daughter pass for a second but can’t quite let it go completely. “That looks like my entire college experience,” she jokes. 

 

Ali rolls her eyes. “I’m gonna kill you,” she whispers. 

 

It’s Ali who starts to feel better first, just in time for Ashlyn to come down with the exact same symptoms two days later. Maddie is still on the mend but seems to feel a little better everyday as Ali takes her turn running between her two sick housemates. 

 

**\---**

 

The older Madeline gets, the more regular her sleep schedule becomes, for which Ali and Ashlyn are endlessly grateful. She also starts to show more and more of her personality, much to everyone’s delight. She loves to be cuddled and hugged all the time but she’s also pretty feisty and Ashlyn muses that she’s going to go out and get what she wants, just like Ali. She also loves being in the water so Ashlyn spends many summer days slathering her up in sunblock and pushing her stroller down to the beach, propping up an umbrella in the sand to protect her from the sun. At five and a half months old, she can’t quite sit up by herself yet so Ashlyn sits behind her just a few inches deep in the ocean, holding Madeline tightly as she splashes in the water, toothless grin on her face. She sends Ali tons of selfies from their adventures, knowing how much she likes to get pictures during workdays. 

 

“How are my little beach bums doing?” Ali asks by way of greeting one day when she gets home from work. 

 

Ashlyn looks up from where she’s playing with Maddie on the floor. “Still finding sand in our buttcheeks,” she replies, grinnning. 

 

“Sounds like a successful trip to the beach then,” Ali says, kicking off her shoes and sitting next to them on the floor. “How about we all go this weekend and we can watch you surf?”

 

“Okay but you can’t blame me when she asks to go surfing in a few years.”

 

That Saturday, they load all of their beach and baby supplies into Madeline’s stroller and diaperbag and make the short walk to the beach. Ali sits with Maddie on the shoreline, just like Ashlyn usually does, and watches as Ashlyn paddles out into the ocean and waits for a perfect wave. 

 

“You see Ash?” Ali coos at Maddie, who is completely uninterested in anything beyond splashing her hands in the water. “She’s pretty cool, huh?” Ali continues, despite the six month old’s disinterest. She turns her around, pulling her close to her face and kissing her chubby cheek. “My little water baby,” she coos. “Maybe one day when you’re big enough I’ll relax a little and let Ashlyn take you surfing. But don’t tell her I said that, okay? She’ll hold me to it.” Madeline smiles at her mother’s excited voice and Ali can see that she has a few teeth almost ready to poke through. She’s only six months but she already seems like she’s growing up too fast. She’s on the verge of being able to sit up by herself and should be able to start on solid foods in just a few weeks--she already tries to grab  _ everything  _ off of Ali and Ashlyn’s plates when they hold her in their laps while eating dinner. As much as they love watching her change and grow and discover new things, they both kind of want to stop time, to experience her as a baby for just a while longer. Within the last month, she’s already seemed to become so much more aware of the world around her, even laughing when Ashlyn made a silly face a few nights ago. At first, they’d been so shocked to hear the sound that they’d looked at each other with wide eyes, silently asking the other if she’d ever done that before taking turns making faces, grinning uncontrollably at the sound of her laughter. 

 

Ali continues watching Ashlyn surf for a few more minutes before Ashlyn finally joins them by the shore, breathless and dripping water all over Ali and Madeline as she walks by to put her board by their stuff a few feet back from the shore. “How’s my future surfing partner doing?” she asks, plopping down next to them. 

 

“Splashing as usual,” Ali replies, passing Maddie to Ashlyn. She loves watching the two of them together, loves seeing the special connection they share. Sometimes when Maddie cries, Ashlyn is the only one who can soothe her and Ali watches with a smile at the duo who are so incredibly wrapped around each other’s fingers. Part of her wonders if Ashlyn’s ability to calm Maddie is due to her knack for dealing with children or if it’s because Ashlyn has spent two decades knowing exactly what it takes to calm the feisty Krieger women (she managed to charm Deb out of punishing Ali for missed curfews many times during their teen years). “I love watching you together” she comments, looking on as Ashlyn bounces Madeline up and down in the shallow water. 

 

“We’re pretty cute, aren’t we?” 

 

“One of you more than the other,” Ali replies, smirking. 

 

“Can you believe that your own mother thinks I’m cuter than you?” Ashlyn asks Maddie who just grins at the attention. 

 

“You take that back right now,” Ali demands, reaching her arms out to take Madeline. “She was just kidding, sweetie,” she says, kissing her on the cheek. They’re quiet for a minute, watching the waves crash around their feet. 

 

“I love family beach days,” Ashlyn muses a few minutes later. 

 

“You love every beach day.” 

 

“That’s true but I especially love ones with you and Maddie. It makes me feel content, you know? Like we’re always so busy, especially when we’re both working, but being able to relax on the beach with you two helps make me appreciate the little moments. Besides, I love thinking about all the good times you and I have had on this beach and making new memories with her here too.”

 

“You’re so soft,” Ali replies, grinning. “But I couldn’t have said it better myself.”

 

**\---**

 

In September, Ali decides she wants to start dating again--not having been on a single date since she found out she was pregnant fifteen months ago. Sure, not dating (other than Matt leaving) was completely by choice, needing to focus on being a mom first before she ventures back out into the dating world but with Ashlyn’s support and Maddie being seven months old now, she feels more than ready to put herself back out there. 

 

Her main issue is that she doesn’t have much time to go out and meet people with everything she has going on with work and motherhood so she spends one weeknight  downloading a few dating apps and making her profiles. 

 

“What’s so interesting?” Ashlyn asks after watching Ali stare at her phone for a few minutes. They’re supposed to be catching up on  _ Scandal  _ but it seems like Ali has other things on her mind so Ashlyn pauses the DVR. 

 

“Just trying to figure out how to use Tinder,” Ali replies. 

 

“Tinder?” 

 

Ali looks up from her phone, seeing Ashlyn look at her like she has two heads. “Why are you so surprised?”

 

“I just never really thought of you as a Tinder type of person.”

 

Ali shrugs. “It seemed like a good option to get myself back out there and test the waters a little bit before I jump into something serious,” she reasons. 

 

“I mean, it’s great if you don’t want anything serious. Sorry, you just took me by surprise.”

 

Ashlyn spends the next few minutes showing Ali how the app works. She explains the difference between swiping left and swiping right, what a ‘super like’ is, and how to message, even pulling out her own phone to show her some of the conversations she has going on the app. At first, it seems like a lot to remember but Ali quickly gets the hang of it and spends most of her evening swiping in various directions. At one point, Ashlyn’s profile comes up as a potential match.

 

“Ugh, swipe left,” Ali jokes, seeing Ashlyn’s picture on her screen. 

 

“I swear to god, Alex, if you swipe left,” Ashlyn warns, opening her app again to try to find Ali’s profile. 

 

“Fine, I’ll swipe right,” Ali playfully grumbles, moving her thumb across the screen. “Then what do you do if someone likes you back?” 

 

“You chat for a little bit, kind of like texting, and if you get along you can ask each other out.”

 

“Cool,” Ali replies, turning her attention back to the screen. 

 

As she gets into bed that night, she checks the app again, seeing that she has a match with a woman just a year older than she is. She’s cute, really cute, so Ali had given her a super like which she gave right back, as well as sending Ali a message. The conversation starts rather casually, just getting a feel for one another. When Catherine asks about the baby in Ali’s profile picture, her palms go sweaty. She’s always known that it would be a challenge to date as a single mom and she worries that it’ll be a deal breaker for potential matches. She wipes her hands on her shirt, deciding that anyone who loses interest in her because she has a baby simply isn’t worth her time so she answers quickly, writing that it’s her seven month old daughter. The reply comes slowly, too slowly for Ali’s liking, but Catherine seems fine with her having a daughter, writing that she’s adorable and looks exactly like Ali. 

 

Ali and Catherine spend the next two weeks messaging back and forth before Catherine finally asks her if she wants to get dinner on Friday night which Ali accepts after verifying with Ashlyn that she’ll be home with Madeline that night. It sounds like the perfect situation--neither one of them is looking for anything too serious at the moment (Catherine just got out of a long term relationship) so there's not too much pressure as Ali prepares for the rather casual date.

 

“I’m so proud of you for putting yourself out there,” Ashlyn says as she holds Maddie on her hip, helping Ali get ready. 

 

“I’m proud of me too,” Ali replies, smiling as she puts her mascara on. 

 

“Doesn’t Mommy look beautiful?” Ashlyn asks, bouncing a babbling Madeline. 

 

“My first time going somewhere other than work or the beach since she was born,” Ali half jokes as she finishes putting on makeup. One of the things her mom had warned her about when Maddie was born was to continue taking care of herself, to do the little things that make her feel good and confident because it will only make her a better mother. So even though she has makeup-free and sweatpants wearing days more often than she used to, she’s still conscious to put a little effort into her appearance. It’s helped her maintain her confidence and makes her feel like she’s still Ali, not just Mommy. When she finishes, she stands up, reaching to take Maddie from Ashlyn before she has to leave. “You have to be good for Ash, okay?” 

 

“She’s going to get absolutely wasted on a bottle and pureed sweet potatoes,” Ashlyn comments. 

 

“Oh,” Ali exclaims. “That reminds me that I should pump before I go. Don’t want these things leaking,” she says, pointing to her chest. 

 

Ashlyn laughs, taking Madeline back from Ali so she can pump. “No, no, we wouldn’t want that.”

 

Catherine arrives to pick Ali up just a few minutes later so Ali gives Maddie more kisses than are probably necessary and hugs Ashlyn before making her way out the door. 

 

They go to a local restaurant, not wanting to stray too far from town. At first, Ali is incredibly nervous. She hasn't had a first date in almost two years and she’d forgotten how nerve wracking the whole thing is. But Catherine is sweet and cute with her long blonde hair and button down and Ali feels more at ease the longer the date goes on (the glass of wine helps). They mostly make small talk, still trying to get to know one another, but they do get to more personal questions, especially when Ali gushes about Madeline. 

 

“So are you raising her by yourself?” Catherine asks.

 

“Not quite,” Ali replies. “Madeline’s father left when I told him I was pregnant so my lifelong best friend moved in with me and now she's helping me raise her. It's actually a pretty good situation because we’ve been friends for so long so I trust her completely and we get to spend a lot of time together which is nice.” 

 

Since they spent a few weeks texting back and forth, there are very few lulls in the conversation and Ali feels more comfortable than she thought she would. By the end of the night, she’s reluctant for it to end so she asks Catherine if she’d like to go back to the house for a glass of wine. She almost doesn’t ask, not wanting to bring a relative stranger to the house with Madeline there but it’s well after Maddie’s bedtime so she knows she’ll be upstairs in her room. Besides, Catherine drove and lives on the other side of town from the restaurant and Ali’s house so it would be silly to make her keep driving back and forth. 

 

When they arrive, Ashlyn is on the living room couch watching TV, baby monitor showing a sleeping Madeline on the coffee table. “Hey, Ash,” Ali greets. “This is Catherine.”

 

Catherine steps forward, hand outstretched to shake Ashlyn’s. Ashlyn gives Catherine a skeptical once over but reciprocates the handshake nonetheless. Catherine doesn’t seem to notice anything but Ali can see the ice in Ashlyn’s usually warm and welcoming eyes. 

 

“Did you have a good time?” Ashlyn asks, avoiding eye contact with Catherine. 

 

“Yeah, it was great,” Ali replies cheerfully, trying to break the tension. “We just came back for a glass of wine.”

 

“Oh, well, have at it,” Ashlyn says without emotion. “I’m going to go upstairs but you should probably keep it down--Maddie is sleeping and probably won’t be too happy to be woken up by whatever it is you plan on doing.” With that, she takes the baby monitor and heads upstairs, taking two steps at a time as if she can’t wait to get away from the situation. 

 

“I’m so sorry,” Ali says, turning to Catherine. “She’s not usually like that. I don’t know what’s gotten into her.”

 

Catherine smiles softly. “It’s okay. I should actually go anyway, I had a long day at work.”

 

“Oh, okay,” Ali replies sadly. 

 

“I really did have a great time tonight,” Catherine says, almost making it sound like a consolation as she leans in to hug Ali. 

 

“Me too,” Ali replies. 

 

The second Catherine is out the door, Ali rushes up the stairs. She doesn’t ever remember being this angry at Ashlyn, not even when she hadn’t spoken to her for a week when Ashlyn ruined her favorite dress by spilling red Kool-Aid on it. “What the fuck is your problem?” she demands, barging into Ashlyn’s room without a knock. Her voice is quiet, mindful of the baby sleeping in the next room over, but her tone is furious and Ashlyn looks taken aback. 

 

“Ever hear of knocking?”

 

“Why did you do that? You had  _ no  _ reason to act like that and now you’ve ruined my date which you encouraged me to go on in the first place. My first date in over a year, might I add.” She takes a deep breath, waiting for Ashlyn’s response. “Well?” she prompts when Ashlyn remains silent. 

 

“So you really didn’t notice?” Ashlyn questions quietly. 

 

“Notice what?”

 

Ashlyn sighs, dejected. “Alex, she looked  _ exactly  _ like me. What kind of mind game was that?”

 

“She didn’t--” Ali begins.

 

“Yes, she did. Long blonde hair, dimples, button down rolled to the elbows. Honestly, Alex, we could be twins.” She pauses, studying Ali’s face for any sort of reaction. “I didn’t mean to be rude but I’ve spent  _ years  _ thinking that the reason you never wanted to be with me was because you weren’t attracted to my type. Whatever it was, I figured there must have been something about my look or way I dress that you weren’t attracted to but then I see you come home with someone who looks like me and I just couldn’t take it.”

 

“Ash,” Ali breathes, the weight of Ashlyn’s words sinking in. “I didn’t think you felt that way.”

 

“I do, Alex. I’ve liked you since we were kids. And at first, I thought you just didn’t like girls so I didn’t really think about it--I knew we would be friends and that was always the most important thing. Then in college you tell me you have a crush on a girl. When I met her and saw that she was nothing like me, I figured that you just had a different type.”

 

“Ashlyn,” Ali says calmly, breaking Ashlyn’s train of thought. “I’ve always found you attractive, even when I didn’t understand it. I thought you weren’t interested in me.”

 

“Oh, please, there’s no way you didn’t know. What about the time we were drunk in college and I couldn’t stop talking about how gorgeous you are?”

 

“You always talk about how gorgeous I am, drunk or not,” Ali argues, eliciting a laugh from Ashlyn despite their argument. “Besides, which one of us initiated that kiss when we were 15? I didn’t just ask you because I was afraid of kissing someone, although that was a lot of it, but I knew later that part of me just really, really wanted to kiss you. And remember when I talked about how much I wanted sex when I was pregnant? I was trying to get you to make a move but you didn’t seem interested...like, at all. So I win.”

 

Ashlyn takes a step closer to Ali, their bodies just inches apart. “Are we seriously arguing about who is more attracted to whom?” she asks, glancing down at Ali’s lips, something she’s consciously avoided doing since they were teens. 

 

“Will you just shut the fuck up for once in your life and kiss me?” Ali demands. 

 

“Yes, ma’am,” Ashlyn replies, realizing she’s already failed the first step. “Sorry.”

 

“ _ Shut up _ ,” Ali says, moments before crashing their lips together. Ashlyn moans at the contact, pulling Ali in by her hips, needing to feel every inch of their bodies pressed together. They quickly lose their breath, eagerly exploring one another’s mouths with their tongues. 

 

It’s Ali who breaks away first, her cheeks flushed and her lips swollen and Ashlyn instantly fears that she wants to stop. Getting over her first kiss with Ali was hard enough and she can’t imagine having to do it a second time. Instead of words like ‘stop’ or ‘no’, Ashlyn hears the sentence she’s been waiting for her entire life. “Take me to bed,” Ali requests. Ashlyn nods, trying to lead Ali to her bed. Instead, Ali takes her hand, leading her towards her own bedroom. 

 

“My bed not good enough for the queen?” Ashlyn asks as Ali drags her down the hall. 

 

“My bed is farther away from sleeping beauty,” Ali explains, closing the door behind them. 

 

“Of course you’re a loud one,” Ashlyn comments, gulping as Ali seductively lays back on her bed. 

 

“If you don’t stop talking, you’ll never find out.”

 

That’s all the encouragement Ashlyn needs to join Ali on the bed, hovering over her as she reconnects their lips. They move slowly at first, burning this moment into their memories (as if they could ever forget). Ashlyn quickly learns that Ali likes to nip as the takes her bottom lip in between her teeth, turning Ashlyn on to no end. “Alex,” she whines. 

 

Ali lets go of her lip, looking concerned as she pulls back. “Did I hurt you?” 

 

“God, no. I’m just not sure how much more of this I can take without getting to touch you,” Ashlyn responds. 

 

Ali giggles, feeling light headed from their kiss. “You can touch anything you want as long as you take it slow, okay? I’ve wanted this for so long and I want it to last,” she says. Ashlyn nods, eagerly helping Ali remove her shirt so she’s left in her nursing bra. “Sorry I’m not very sexy right now,” she says, frowning. 

 

“You are so beautiful no matter what you’re wearing,” Ashlyn replies. She moves to kiss Ali’s neck, sucking on a pulse point as Ali arches her back up to meet her. “Oh, you like that? Good to know,” Ashlyn comments, moving to take Ali’s bra off. She’s already seen Ali in most states of undress, especially after being in the delivery room and seeing her breastfeed every day for the last seven months but there’s something different about getting to see Ali like this. She almost averts her eyes out of habit but quickly realizes that she’s allowed to look. Allowed to touch, taste, and feel. 

 

“They’re not usually this big,” Ali prefaces as Ashlyn’s eyes rake over her naked torso. 

 

“I know.”

 

“You’re still wearing too many clothes,” Ali complains, pushing Ashlyn’s shirt up a little, feeling the skin underneath. She moves swiftly, tossing Ashlyn’s shirt across the room before Ashlyn removes her bra and pants, only her boxers remaining. “Fuck you’re so hot,” Ali groans, taking in Ashlyn’s body. 

 

“You’re not so bad yourself,” Ashlyn replies, grinning. 

 

Ali leans forward, wrapping her arms around Ashlyn’s neck and pulling her back on top or her as Ashlyn fumbles with the button of Ali’s skin tight jeans, desperate to get them both as naked as possible. Ali cants her hips, giving Ashlyn the space she needs to pull her jeans off, discarding them on the floor. “These need to come off too,” Ashlyn says, hooking her thumbs into Ali’s panties. Ali cants her hips again, allowing Ashlyn to remove her final piece of clothing. 

 

“Yours too,” Ali demands, giggling as Ashlyn eagerly removes her tight boxer briefs. 

 

Ashlyn takes her time kissing her way up Ali’s body, Ali’s hands tangling into her hair as soon as she can reach, using her grip to tug Ashlyn back up until they’re face to face. She flips their positions, straddling Ashlyn as she begins kissing her neck. Ashlyn’s moans quickly become her second favorite sound in the entire world (the first being her daughter’s laugh) and she’s determined to hear it as much as possible, although they’re both trying to be quiet. By the time she takes one of Ashlyn’s nipples in her mouth, Ashlyn is moaning so loudly that Ali has to pause. “Please don’t wake the baby,” Ali requests, not waiting for a response before pressing her lips back to Ashlyn’s chest, nipping and sucking as she explores Ashlyn’s torso. 

 

Ashlyn flips their positions again, pinning Ali’s arms up by her head, their hands joined as she kisses her deeply. Ali cants her hips again, desperate for friction, for release, and tries to rub against Ashlyn’s thigh. Ashlyn knows what she’s trying to do and presses her body impossibly closer to Ali’s, leaving no room for Ali to move her hips. 

 

“Ash, I need--” Ali starts, lifting her head a little. 

 

“I know,” Ashlyn replies. “Slow, remember?”

 

Ali sighs, dropping her head back onto her pillow dramatically. “It’s been so long and I just--please,” she begs. 

 

“I promise it’ll be worth the wait,” Ashlyn whispers, kissing Ali’s forehead gently. The moment is sweet and caring, the antithesis of the passion and lust that’s overtaken them over the course of the last hour. Ashlyn collapses next to Ali, taking her into her arms. “Are you sure about this?”

 

“I’m sure,” Ali asserts. “Are you sure about this?”

 

“I’ve never been more sure about anything,” Ashlyn replies. Her eyes well up with tears at the sight of Ali--beautiful, glowing, wonderful Ali--laying naked and waiting for her. It’s a moment she hasn’t even allowed herself to dream about, not wanting to fall even deeper in love with her best friend. 

 

“Hey,” Ali says gently, using her thumbs to wipe the tears from Ashlyn’s cheeks. “I’m here, I’m right here, okay? I want this.”

 

“You don’t just want me because it’s been so long since you’ve had sex?” Ashlyn questions, voicing her deepest fear that this is going to be a one time thing. 

 

“I want you,” Ali replies. “I’ve  _ always _ wanted you.”

 

Ashlyn nods, drying the rest of her tears with her palms. They start kissing slowly again, knowing that everything is going to change. Ashlyn straddles Ali’s hips again leaving a trail of kisses up and down her torso. She flicks over Ali’s nipples with her tongue, careful to avoid sucking too hard, and enters her with two fingers, smirking as Ali is forced to stifle a moan with a pillow. As much as she wants to continue playing with Ali’s breasts, she’s desperate to taste her so she kisses her way down Ali’s torso, pausing once she settles between her legs. They make eye contact for a moment, just a moment, and Ashlyn makes a mental vow to give her everything she ever wants (as if she doesn’t already do just that). “You’re so beautiful,” she whispers, slowly resuming work with her fingers. 

 

“Ash, I’m gonna--” Ali moans, already teetering on the edge of release after going so long without being touched by someone other than herself. 

 

Ashlyn knows Ali’s impossibly close so she wastes no more time, flicking her tongue over Ali’s clit. 

 

Ali grasps at the sheets at the sensation--familiar yet foreign like moving back home after college, nothing different about the town but feeling different herself, viewing her hometown from a new perspective. Ashlyn is unsurprisingly skilled and Ali finds herself craving her touch again before she even comes, not wanting it to end. She moans softly, careful to control her volume, as Ashlyn works her body like no one ever has before. Of course Ashlyn knows what she likes.  _ Of course.  _ Ashlyn has spent the last 20 years knowing exactly what Ali wants (with the obvious exception of Ali wanting  _ her _ or they would've been in this position much, much sooner) so it’s no surprise that she knows exactly what Ali wants in bed. She feels the tickles of her impending orgasm in her belly first, her entire body going rigid as she comes around Ashlyn's fingers and tongue, a few too loud moans escaping in the process. Ashlyn continues gently stroking her with her fingers as she recovers, kissing her way up Ali’s body before joining their lips again. 

 

“That was without a doubt the best orgasm I’ve ever had,” Ali raves, breathless from her orgasm and the subsequent makeout session, her taste on Ashlyn’s tongue. 

 

Ashlyn quirks an eyebrow. “Really? I would’ve thought it was the one that led to the baby you probably almost just woke up.”

 

Ali hums, blissful in her post orgasm state. “That one was only the best for that reason. This was the best on its own.”

 

Ashlyn smirks, swelling with pride that she made Ali feel so good. “Great, since we hit our peak so soon--no pun intended--that means we never have to do that again, right?” she jokes. 

 

“You bite your tongue,” Ali admonishes. 

 

“I’d rather you bite my tongue,” Ashlyn replies. “You do seem to have an affinity for biting and now I know that you have no room to complain when Maddie bites you too hard.”

 

“Okay, first of all,” Ali starts, sticking her pointer finger up, “I definitely don’t bite hard enough for it to hurt unlike little miss baby gator with all that jaw strength. Second of all, trust me when I say it hurts much worse when your nipples are already sore from months of breastfeeding.”

 

“I believe you,” Ashlyn says, wincing at how painful it sounds. “But you can feel free to bite me as much as you want,” she adds. 

 

“Oh, I plan on it,” Ali says, rolling over to straddle Ashlyn’s hips. She starts slow, keeping her promise and nipping Ashlyn’s neck, collarbones, chest, stomach, and hips, leaving a trail of love bites in her wake. 

 

When Ashlyn’s had enough teasing, she uses her hand to gently push Ali’s head down between her legs, wordlessly telling her where she needs her. It’s not that she wasn’t enjoying what Ali was doing, quite the contrary, but she’s far beyond turned on to the point of pure desperation after decades of longing and finally, finally, getting to this point. She doesn’t want to--can’t--wait anymore. 

 

“You could’ve just asked,” Ali sasses as she gets into a comfortable position. 

 

Neither says anything else, other than a string of expletives from Ashlyn as Ali greedily eats her out. Ashlyn balls her hands up into fists, covering her mouth with them to stop herself from yelling out in ecstasy as she comes hard as fast, the strength of her orgasm surprising both of them. “I second your earlier statement,” Ashlyn says, catching her breath as Ali wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. 

 

Ali checks the video monitor, seeing that Madeline is still sleeping peacefully and breathes a sigh of relief, knowing they might have gotten a little too loud at points. 

 

“She still sleeping?” Ashlyn asks, unable to see the monitor on the nightstand with Ali’s head in the way. 

 

“Like a baby,” Ali replies, grinning as she turns to face Ashlyn. She snuggles into her side, always loving being close to her but needing the connection now more than ever.  “We should make this a regular thing,” she comments, holding Ashlyn’s hand to her chest. 

 

“A regular thing like dating?” Ashlyn questions. 

 

“Yes,” Ali replies. “But I do want to talk to Catherine. I know we only had dinner once and it was super casual but she was nice and deserves an explanation; I don’t want to just disappear and leave her hanging.”

 

Ashlyn smiles, leaning in for a quick kiss. “You’re an amazing person, Alex.”

 

They cuddle quietly for a few minutes, the events of the last few hours finally sinking in. “It’s so weird, everything feels the same but it’s all going to change,” Ashlyn finally muses. 

 

“Is it going to change though?” Ali questions. “I mean, we’re already living together and raising a baby together. Like, we’ve basically been married this whole time and really the only thing that’s going to change is that I can do this,” she says, leaning in to kiss Ashlyn deeply. “But we've been doing everything else already.”

 

“Do you think she’ll notice a difference?” Ashlyn questions. 

 

“I think that she doesn’t know the difference between her hands and feet yet so there’s no way she’s going to notice anything different with us. We’re still the same two people who have been here all along. All she cares about is being fed, changed, and cuddled.”

 

Ashlyn smiles, thinking about the tiny, easy-going baby. “She’s honestly the best baby,” she says. 

 

“She really is,” Ali agrees. “I don’t know if we’ll get that lucky a second time.” She pauses, really considering what she’s just said. “I’m sorry, was that weird? We literally haven’t even said ‘girlfriend’ yet and here I am talking about another baby.”

 

“Alex,” Ashlyn says, ending Ali’s rambling. “I know what you meant and it wasn’t weird at all, okay? Just be my girlfriend and we’ll figure everything out as we go.” Ali’s eyes light up--Ali’s beautiful light brown eyes that captivated Ashlyn from the moment they met. Her eyes have always been one of Ashlyn’s favorite thing about her, always looking to them to get a read on what she’s feeling when the rest of her face won’t quite give it away. The same eyes she passed down to her daughter that captivated Ashlyn in a whole new way, rousing her own maternal instincts from the moment she held Madeline for the first time. 

 

“Say it again,” Ali requests. 

 

“Girlfriend,” Ashlyn repeats, grinning. “Be my girlfriend.”

 

“Okay but you know I have a kid, right? She’s kind of part of the package,” Ali replies, eliciting a laugh from Ashlyn. 

 

“Believe it or not, I did already know that,” Ashlyn says, grinning. “And I want you both to be mine.”

 

Ali kisses her cheek. “We’ve always been yours.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooooo favorite part and/or line? I have lots of favorite parts from this chapter so I'd love to know your favorites. Other thoughts?
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me this far--lots of cuteness to come.


	10. limbo

The next morning, Ali wakes to the sensation of Ashlyn softly kissing her neck. “That’s a nice way to start the day,” she mumbles, voice still thick with sleep. Ashlyn hums against her neck, moving her lips lower down to Ali’s chest. She lazily trails kisses down Ali’s torso, ready to settle herself between Ali’s legs when they hear a mighty wail come through the baby monitor. 

 

“Nice timing, Maddie,” Ashlyn grumbles, getting out of bed and throwing a t-shirt and shorts on. “I’ve got her,” she promises as Ali sits up in bed, wiping the sleep out of her eyes. She walks down the hall to Maddie’s room wishing that she had held off for just a few more minutes. She scoops Maddie up out of her crib, bouncing and shushing her in an effort to calm her down. “I know, I know,” Ashlyn coos. “You just wanted little morning kisses of your own, huh?” she says, repeatedly kissing her cheek as she moves to the changing table. With a freshly changed Madeline on her hip, Ashlyn returns to Ali’s room to find Ali sitting up in bed. She’s now wearing shorts but still doesn’t have a shirt on, arguing that she would just have to take it off to feed Madeline so it seemed like an unnecessary step. “I don’t think either one of us would ever complain about that,” Ashlyn comments, smirking. 

 

“Not in front of the kid,” Ali playfully admonishes even though they both know Madeline has no idea what they’re talking about. The only thing she cares about at the moment is eating so Ali and Ashlyn watch as she latches as soon as Ali gets her settled in her arms. Over the last few months, Ali has talked to their pediatrician and other moms about how and when to wean Maddie from breastfeeding. They’d started a few weeks ago, supplementing her diet with solid foods as well as breastfeeding in the morning and at night (and sometimes around lunchtime when Ali worries about losing that part of their relationship too quickly). Maddie is slowly losing interest in the whole thing, drifting more towards wanting solid foods, but she does still seem to love the morning and nighttime sessions which Ali and Ashlyn suspect is because she’s generally more interested in her own budding independence during the day but loves being held when she’s sleepy. “As much as I’ll be happy to give my poor nipples a break, I’ll be sad when she’s fully weaned,” Ali muses, turning to look at Ashlyn next to her. 

 

“It’s gonna be hard,” Ashlyn agrees, stroking Maddie’s cheek as she continues to eat. “But she’s going to be crawling soon and that’s going to be a whole new kind of special and exciting.”

 

“I just want her to stay a baby forever,” Ali says, bottom lip jutting out in sadness which Ashlyn kisses. 

 

“Just wait a few years and maybe there will be another one,” she whispers, kissing Ali again. 

 

When Madeline finally finishes nursing, Ashlyn takes her downstairs to start making breakfast while Ali showers. She thinks about the last 24 hours throughout her shower, resolving herself to text Catherine as soon as they finish up with breakfast. 

 

Ali and Catherine ultimately agree to meet for coffee the next morning, deciding on a place that’s halfway between where they each live. “Hi,” Ali greets when she enters the restaurant to find Catherine waiting for her, two steaming coffees on the table in front of her. 

 

“Hey,” Catherine replies.

 

They make small talk for a few minutes, feeling awkward as they tiptoe around the real reason they’re meeting. As they finish off their coffees, Catherine meets Ali’s eyes with a sad smile on her face. “I know,” she says softly. 

 

“I really did have fun with you,” Ali assures. 

 

“I know, so did I. But you’re in love with her.”

 

“I am,” Ali confirms. She doesn’t want to lie, not to someone she genuinely liked and wanted to--wants-- get to know better but she knows now that even if nothing had happened with Ashlyn, something always would’ve held her back from giving herself to Catherine completely. “How did you know?”

 

“When I met her and felt like I was looking in a mirror,” Catherine responds, smiling. She still seems sad but Ali can tell there are no hard feelings there. 

 

“I promise that’s not why I wanted to go out with you. I really do think you’re great,” Ali says.

 

Catherine nods. “I get it, I really do. But I can’t stand in the way of that, even if you would let me. I really appreciate you not just leaving me hanging though and I would like to be friends, if that’s something you’re interested in.”

 

“Definitely, I absolutely would like to be friends with you,” Ali replies, smiling. “Thank you for being so understanding; I honestly wasn’t leading you on or anything.”

 

“Your heart is elsewhere, I know.”

 

They continue to chat for a few minutes before saying goodbye, mentioning that they’ll keep in touch. Ali’s not sure if they will or not but she knows her offer is genuine and gets into her car feeling much better about the situation, ready to return home to her family. 

 

“Hey,” Ashlyn says softly as soon as she’s in the door. 

 

Ali shucks her shoes off, looking up to see Ashlyn laying on the couch with Madeline sleeping peacefully on her chest, nuzzled into her neck. Ashlyn has one arm behind her head but the other is resting on Maddie’s back, preventing her from falling to the floor in her slumber. “Look at you two,” Ali coos, grinning. She immediately fishes her phone out of her purse and snaps far too many pictures of the duo. Before she even sets her phone down, she picks a favorite and sets it as her lockscreen. Both Ashlyn and Madeline are facing the camera but Ashlyn’s eyes are open and she’s smiling, dimple on full display, while Maddie’s eyes are closed, clearly in a very deep and peaceful sleep in Ashlyn’s arms. The picture, like the moment itself, means more to Ali than she could ever express. “My girls,” she sighs, dropping down onto the other couch. 

 

“How’d it go?” Ashlyn whispers, mindful of Madeline’s sensitive little ears just inches away from her mouth. 

 

“Really good,” Ali replies. “She already kind of knew and she understood.”

 

“How’d she know?” Ashlyn questions, although she thinks she knows the answer.

 

“Because you’re twins,” Ali answers. 

 

“I told you,” Ashlyn says, winking. 

 

Ali rolls her eyes, reaching for her phone again to send the pictures of Ashlyn and Maddie to her parents and Kyle. “Do you think we should tell people?” she asks.

 

“We could, or we could just show up to dinner with your parents next weekend holding hands and wait for them to figure it out,” Ashlyn replies. 

 

“They probably won’t even notice if we do that,” Ali says, laughing. 

 

“Well then we’ll tell them. I’m sure they won’t be surprised at all,” Ashlyn reasons. “Hey, maybe we can even let them have the sleepover they’ve been begging for and have a real date night.”

 

Ali nods, smiling as she thinks about the last two nights trying their best to have quiet sex and the possibility of having the house to themselves for a night. Maddie hasn’t spent a night away from home yet so although Ali’s not quite sure if she’s ready to leave her baby overnight, she knows that it’ll be good for her parents to get that bonding time with her while she and Ashlyn have grownup bonding time of their own. “I’ll talk to them later this week,” she replies. “How long has she been sleeping?”

 

“About an hour,” Ashlyn answers, checking her watch. “I’ve had to pee for at least half of that but there’s no way I’m waking her up.”

 

Ali nods. She watches the two lovingly for a few minutes, etching every moment of this moment into her memory. The way Madeline hasn’t moved. Ashlyn’s arm securing her in place, always keeping her safe. The ride and fall of Ashlyn’s chest as she breathes, Madeline undisturbed by the steady, gentle movement. The way Ashlyn looks at the sleeping baby, so much love and adoration in her eyes that anyone who didn’t know would think she’s hers.  _ She is hers,  _ Ali thinks. Madeline is Ashlyn’s just as Ashlyn is Madeline’s. Ashlyn soon drifts off to sleep herself and Ali can’t help but snap even more pictures of the duo. Ali briefly worries if she’s getting ahead of herself and their relationship in thinking those types of things--she certainly wouldn’t think of anyone else like that after only two days--but it hasn’t been two days, not really. It’s been 20 years in the making and Ali’s determined to never let Ashlyn go. 

 

\---

 

The next week feels like a sort of limbo for Ali and Ashlyn. They’re both working so they don’t really have time to dwell on their relationship so the only major change is that they now kiss hello and goodbye and Ashlyn’s room becomes a glorified storage closet. Between their work schedules and spending time with Madeline, there’s little time for intimacy but they make the absolute best out of the time they do have. Needless to say, they’re both pretty thrilled when Deb and Ken agree to watch Madeline overnight on Saturday. 

 

“You think we should wait to tell them until after tomorrow night?’ Ashlyn asks on Friday evening as they get ready for dinner at Deb and Ken’s.

 

“Why would we wait?” Ali asks, bouncing Madeline on her hip as she watches Ashlyn get ready (it was one of her Fridays off so she got ready before Ashlyn got home). 

 

“Because,” Ashlyn begins, carefully phrasing things in her head due to the baby in the room, “because they’re going to know what we’re doing.”

 

Ali laughs so hard that Madeline starts laughing too, apparently delighted by the sound coming out of her mother’s mouth. “Honey,” she starts, eliciting a smile from Ashlyn at the pet name, “they’re just going to be thrilled to get a night with this little one, they won’t care what we’re doing.” 

 

Ashlyn nods, buttoning her shirt. “What do you think?” she asks Ali as she checks herself out in the mirror. She’s wearing a short sleeve button down and dark jeans, a much dressier outfit than she usually goes with for dinner with Ali’s parents. 

 

“You look beautiful,” Ali replies, kissing her on the lips. She’s about to step away when Ashlyn stops her, kissing Maddie as well. “But you don’t need to be that dressed up, they’ve seen you almost as many times as they’ve seen me in our lives.” 

 

“I know but tonight’s my first time seeing them as your girlfriend and I want them to like me,” Ashlyn explains, pulling her Doc Martens on. 

 

“You’re cute,” Ali replies. 

 

When they arrive at Deb and Ken’s ten minutes later, Deb is already waiting at the door, ready to take Madeline from Ali’s arms. She plants kisses all over her chubby cheeks before she even acknowledges Ali and Ashlyn’s presence. “Ash, you look nice,” she compliments as they embrace. 

 

“Thank you,” Ashlyn replies, grinning. “I have to keep up with all you beautiful Krieger women.”

 

Ali smiles as she looks over at Ashlyn, resisting the urge to roll her eyes at Ashlyn’s knack for charming the pants off of her mom (and her too, given recent developments). Deb leads them into the living room, setting Maddie down by all the toys she and Ken keep at their house for when they babysit. Ali and Ashlyn sit shoulder to shoulder on the small loveseat while Deb kneels on the floor to play with the seven month old. Ken joins them a few minutes later, announcing that the steaks are on the grill. He sits on the couch opposite Ali and Ashlyn and Ali knows that it’s time. She gently elbows Ashlyn who gives a small nod, knowing what Ali was getting at. 

 

“Hey, mom,” Ali begins, tearing her mother’s attention away from Madeline. 

 

Deb reads Ali’s face for just a moment, narrowing her eyes as she figures out something’s up. “I know that look,” she says. “You have something to say.”

 

“She always has something to say,” Ashlyn quips, getting another, much more forceful, jab to the ribs. 

 

“Are we getting another grandbaby?” Deb questions excitedly. “Maddie is such a dream.”

 

Ali shakes her head vehemently. “Someday but  _ definitely _ not right now,” she answers. “I just wanted to tell you that Ashlyn and I are together.”

 

“I thought you were already together,” Ken comments. Ali laughs, thinking it was a joke but when she looks over and sees utter sincerity and confusion on his face, she laughs even harder. 

 

“No, dad,” she replies when she stops laughing enough. “But we are now.” She takes Ashlyn’s hand in her lap, squeezing it. 

 

“Well I would say welcome to the family but you’re already a part of it,” Deb notes. She stands, brushing the back of her dress from sitting on the floor, and moves to hug Ashlyn who has been silent this whole time other than the joke about Ali. 

 

“Are you okay?” Ali asks, turning towards her girlfriend (thinking of Ashlyn that way gives her butterflies). 

 

Whatever it was, Ashlyn seems to snap out of it as Ali addresses her and she turns to Ali with a massive smile. “I’m great,” she replies. “Did you really think we were already together?” she asks, turning towards Ken who shrugs. 

 

“You’ve loved each other for a long time,” Deb comments, sitting back down on the floor with Madeline. 

 

“We have,” Ashlyn confirms. 

 

“And now we finally got the timing right,” Ali adds, squeezing Ashlyn’s hand. Ken excuses himself to check on the steaks and Deb’s attention is solely on Madeline, who is absolutely thrilled by her grandma’s now undivided attention. “I told you there was no reason to worry,” she whispers, leaning her head on Ashlyn’s shoulder. 

 

The dinner with Ali’s parents is no different than any other dinner Ashlyn has had in the Krieger senior (as Ali calls it) household. After getting over the initial shock of telling them, Ashlyn calms down considerably, laughing and joking with them as she always has. After dinner, Ali asks if she wants to take Madeline for a walk on the beach which Ashlyn gladly accepts. 

 

“I wonder how many miles we’ve logged on this beach throughout our lives,” Ashlyn muses as she carries Madeline in one arm and holds Ali’s hand with the other. 

 

“Hundreds,” Ali replies. She walks towards the boulders they used to sit on as kids, gently tugging Ashlyn’s hand to sit with her. 

 

They hold Maddie between them so she’s sitting half on Ashlyn’s lap and half on Ali’s as they watch the waves crash to the shore. Neither can let the moment pass without documenting it so Ashlyn takes her phone out of her back pocket to snap a few selfies. They do a few smiling as they sit before they hold Maddie up a little bit more, each one kissing her cheeks. 

 

“We’re getting that framed,” Ali comments as Ashlyn shows her the best shot. 

 

“Definitely,” Ashlyn agrees, slipping her phone back into her pocket. “We’re pretty cute, huh?”

 

“The cutest,” Ali says, planting a soft kiss on Ashlyn’s lips. 

 

It’s near Madeline’s bedtime so she soon falls asleep as they sit there and chat, reminiscing about all the times spent in this exact spot and discussing what’s to come. Figuring it can’t be comfortable for Maddie to sleep while sitting on both of their laps, Ashlyn carefully shifts the seven month old so she’s cradling her in her arms. Ali smiles at the gesture, watching her two favorite people together. “This is everything I’ve ever wanted,” Ali comments. 

 

“Me too,” Ashlyn agrees, leaning her head on Ali’s shoulder. 

 

They decide to head back to Ali’s parents a few minutes later, wanting to get Maddie home and in bed. Deb is a little sad that Maddie is already sleeping and she can’t say goodbye but Ali reminds her that they’ll be over to drop her off the next afternoon for their first ever sleepover which brightens Deb right up. 

 

Somehow, they not only manage to get Madeline into the car without waking her up, they also manage to get her into her crib without rousing her. “Man, that kid can sleep,” Ashlyn comments as they leave Maddie’s room, quietly closing the door behind them. 

 

“Better for us,” Ali says, slipping her fingers through Ashlyn’s belt loops and pulling her close. She kisses her, moving soft and slow against Ashlyn’s lips, still getting accustomed to the feel of Ashlyn’s lips on her own. 

 

“Let's go to bed,” Ashlyn suggests, placing her hand on the small of Ali’s back as Ali leads the way to the bedroom. “We’ll need all our energy for tomorrow night,” she adds, slapping Ali on the butt. 

 

Ali turns back to face Ashlyn. “You haven’t seen anything yet,” she replies, winking. 

 

“Shit,” Ashlyn exclaims as Ali pulls a pair of pajama shorts and a tank top out of her dresser. “I keep forgetting that my clothes aren’t in here.” She turns around, going back to her own room to change into a pair of basketball shorts and a cutoff tank before returning to Ali’s room to find her already in bed. 

 

“We should just move your stuff in here and turn your room into a guestroom,” Ali muses as Ashlyn curls up next to her. 

 

“You hardly have enough room for your stuff as it is,” Ashlyn notes.

 

“I could get rid of some of it,” Ali offers. “Either that or I have to get rid of you.”

 

“Don’t even think about it,” Ashlyn warns, nuzzling into Ali’s neck. 

 

“Never,” Ali promises, kissing the top of Ashlyn’s head. 

 

\---

 

The next morning, they’re awoken not by Madeline crying but by Ali’s phone ringing on the night stand. “Hey, Ky,” Ali greets when she accepts his FaceTime call. 

 

“Morning, Kyle,” Ashlyn says, moving closer to Ali so she’s in the camera frame as well. 

 

“Where’s my little niece?” Kyle asks. 

 

“Still sleeping. I guess you’re stuck with us for a bit,” Ali answers. “Morning,” she says, turning to Ashlyn and giving her a quick peck on the lips. She turns back to the camera, smiling as she sees Kyle’s mouth drop open. 

 

“Well that’s one way to do it,” Ashlyn quips, laughing at Kyle who appears to be speechless for once in his life. 

 

“Are you--when--?” Kyle stammers. 

 

“Last week,” Ali answers. For the moment, she decides to skip over the full story, how her date going well with someone else had led to her and Ashlyn finally getting their act together. She does want to tell him but she decides to wait a little bit, wanting the attention to be on her and Ashlyn and not the events leading up to them dating. 

 

“It’s about damn time,” Kyle exclaims once he’s recovered from the shock. “I was beginning to think it would never happen.”

 

“So was I,” Ashlyn replies, grinning as she looks over at Ali. It still hasn’t quite sunk in that Ali is her girlfriend. They haven’t yet had an official date, which Ashlyn assumes is part of it, but she knows it’s mostly because not much has changed. 

 

“Ugh, you guys are so cute,” Kyle says. “You already made the cutest little family and now it’s official, I couldn’t be happier for you.”

 

“Oh, Maddie’s awake,” Ashlyn notes, hearing her on the baby monitor. She excuses herself to get Maddie while Ali and Kyle continue to talk. 

 

“So how’d it happen?” Kyle asks while they wait for Ashlyn to return with Madeline. 

 

“Well,” Ali begins, almost laughing at the story, “I went on a date with this really cool woman, Catherine, and it went well so I offered for her to come back and have a glass of wine after. Nothing too crazy, obviously. But when Ashlyn saw her she absolutely freaked out and stormed upstairs. Catherine left and I went upstairs to find out what was wrong with Ash and, well, it turned out that she was mad that Catherine looked  _ exactly  _ like her.”

 

“She did not,” Kyle exclaims. 

 

“She did,” Ali confirms. “I didn’t really notice it at the time but they could be twins, honestly.” she pauses, looking over at the baby monitor and seeing Ashlyn changing Madeline’s diaper. “Anyway, I’m not kidding, Kyle, we argued over which one of us was more attracted to the other and then we kissed and things went from there.”

 

“Things meaning sex?” 

 

Ali nods, not a hint of embarrassment. “We haven’t even had our first official date yet so Maddie is sleeping over at mom and dad’s tonight.”

 

“Oooh la la,” Kyle replies.

 

Ali hears Ashlyn coming down the hall so she looks up from her phone, watching as she enters the room with Maddie on her hip. “Good morning, sweet girl,” Ali coos, setting her phone down on the bed for a second so she can take Madeline into her arms. 

 

“You already said good morning to me,” Ashlyn quips, settling next to Ali and Maddie as Ali picks her phone up again. 

 

Kyle spends the next ten minutes cooing over his niece, trying to get her attention. She doesn’t quite understand what’s happening but babbles away as Kyle talks, promising that he’s going to come visit very soon. 

 

They spend most of the day relaxing at the house and getting some quality time with Madeline before they have to drop her off at Deb and Ken’s house in the evening. She’s just on the verge of being able to crawl so they spend nearly an hour on the floor with her, putting toys just out of reach and watching as she tries to figure out how to get to it. 

 

“Go to mama,” Ali encourages, not realizing what she’s said until she sees the look of pure joy and shock on Ashlyn’s face. “Sorry, I--” Ali tries to explain. 

 

“Oh,” Ashlyn replies, her face falling at the clear indication Ali didn’t mean to call her that. 

 

“Ash, no,” Ali says gently, pulling Madeline onto her lap. “It did slip,” she admits. “But that doesn’t mean it’s not something I’ve been thinking a lot about the last week. I just wanted to talk to you about it before I said it in front of her, that’s all.”

 

“Yeah?” Ashlyn prods, looking more hopeful than she did a second ago. 

 

“I mean, it’s probably going to be what she ends up calling you unless you want her to use your name so it would make sense to start referring to you as that now instead of confusing her later when she learns to talk.” She pauses, looking down at Madeline who is babbling as if she’s giving her own opinion on the topic (she likely is although they can’t yet decipher her babbles). 

 

“I absolutely want her to call me that, as long as both of you are okay with it,” Ashlyn replies, grinning.  _ Mama _ , she thinks. It has a nice feel to it, no doubt, but she didn’t expect Ali to say it--even mistakenly--so soon. But she’d long ago decided that she would be whatever Ali (and later, Madeline) needs her to be so even though it was a slip of the tongue, she knows Ali meant it and she’ll do whatever it takes to live up to the name. 

 

Ali moves to sit next to Ashlyn, kissing her on the lips. “I want her to call you that too,” she says, beaming. She turns her attention back to Maddie, moving to sit across from Ashlyn again “Okay, one more try, Maddie, then we have to get ready for grandma and grandpa’s so make it a good one.” 

 

Ashlyn watches quietly as Ali puts Madeline back on the floor, trying to get her to crawl to Ashlyn and the rattle she’s waving. Although she doesn’t quite crawl, she does manage to scooch herself over to Ashlyn to get the toy, both Ali and Ashlyn praising her as if they’ve never seen something more magnificent (they haven’t). “My sweet girl,” she coos, scooping Maddie up off the floor to turn her around. “Now go back to mommy,” she encourages, watching in delight as she half crawls, half scooches over to Ali. 

 

“You make us so proud,” Ali exclaims, lifting Maddie as she stands. “You can show grandma and grandpa later but first you need to nap now so we can get ready for our date tonight.”

 

“Our first date,” Ashlyn adds, grinning as they climb the stairs to put Maddie to bed. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Favorite parts/ lines? Predictions? :)
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	11. date

Luckily, Maddie goes down for a nap easily after all the excitement and activity of the morning which gives Ali and Ashlyn time to not only get Maddie’s stuff ready for her first overnight stay but also get themselves ready for their first official date. Ashlyn’s supposed to be showering while Ali packs Maddie’s bag but she can’t help but watch the baby monitor as Ali frantically but quietly packs way too much for one night. As soon as Ashlyn sees Ali pick an eighth outfit to put into the bag, she knows it’s time for her to intervene. 

 

“Whatcha doing there?” she asks quietly, mindful of Madeline sleeping in her crib. 

 

“Packing,” Ali says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

 

“How long are you packing to send her away for? Through college?”

 

“Ash,” Ali warns, whispering to avoid waking Madeline. 

 

“Come on,” Ashlyn says, taking Ali by the hand and leading her out of Maddie’s room. “You’re worried, I know.”

 

Ali nods, eyes filling with tears. “It’s her first night away, I don’t want to leave my baby,” she cries. 

 

Ashlyn pulls Ali into a hug, feeling Ali’s warm tears seep through her shirt. “I know, honey,” she soothes. “I don’t want to leave her either--I’m going to be so sad when we pull out of that driveway knowing that we won’t see her until tomorrow but we have to do this for us, okay? It’s just one night and she’ll get to bond with your parents and we’ll get to have sex without worrying about little ears down the hall and we’ll be so much happier tomorrow when we get to see her. I promise it’ll be worth it.”

 

Ali laughs despite her lingering sadness over leaving Maddie overnight. “We’ll be better moms after?” she questions. 

 

Ashlyn smiles at the plural, the small but meaningful acknowledgement of what she is to Madeline, especially now that she and Ali are dating. “I mean, we’re pretty bad ass as it is but I’m positive we’ll be much happier and more relaxed tomorrow,” she reasons. 

 

“I still don’t want to leave her,” Ali wines. 

 

“Do you want to pick her up after dinner?” Ashlyn offers.

 

Ali shakes her head. “No, no. We need this; I’m just sad,” she says.

 

Ashlyn nods, suddenly understanding why Ali’s so shaken up about leaving Madeline. Sure, she’s sad to spend the night without her at home, but it’s also a very clear indication that Madeline is growing up. When she was a newborn, spending the night away from her would’ve been completely out of the question but now she’s almost fully weaned from breastfeeding and is becoming more and more independent everyday, including almost crawling just earlier in the day. She pulls Ali tighter to her chest. “I know, she’s growing up,” she says, voicing Ali’s concerns for her. “But she’s still our baby, okay? She’s still your baby no matter what.” Most of the time, in these situations, she reminds Ali (and herself) that Maddie growing up is a great thing. She’s going to become a great kid, she’s sure, and she always reassures Ali of that. But this time, this time she can tell it’s not what Ali needs. She needs to be reminded that Maddie will always be her baby, even though it sometimes doesn’t seem like it. 

 

“You’ve always known just what to say to me,” Ali says, significantly calmer. 

 

“I’ve had plenty of practice,” Ashlyn replies, shrugging as Ali pulls away from her embrace. “Now let’s go get ready or we’ll be late.”

 

“Okay,” Ali agrees, turning to go back into Madeline’s room to finish packing her stuff. 

 

“And no packing her entire wardrobe; your parents have enough stuff at their house already.”

 

“You’re no fun,” Ali complains although she knows Ashlyn is right. She ends up ditching Maddie’s second bag, figuring that her parents have enough stuff that filling her diaper bag with extras will be fine. She returns to the master bedroom a few minutes later to find Ashlyn clad in only a sports bra and shorts, towel drying her hair after her quick shower. “You should just wear that tonight,” Ali comments, putting her hands on Ashlyn’s hips, pulling her in for a kiss. 

 

“I’m pretty sure I’ll be wearing much less than this by the end of the night,” Ashlyn replies, trying and failing to stifle a laugh at Ali’s sharp intake of breath. Ali picks up on it, rolling her eyes at Ashlyn trying not to laugh.

 

“Don’t laugh at me or you won’t be getting  _ any  _ tonight. We’ll go pick Maddie up after dinner and have her sleep in our bed with us so don’t you dare laugh.”

 

Ashlyn nods, overly serious. “Yes ma’am,” she replies, giving Ali a quick kiss before heading to her bedroom to get ready for their date. 

 

Since it’s their first date after twenty years of friendship, they both decided that it was cause for celebration and made a reservation at a nice (and very expensive) Italian restaurant in Melbourne. It’s rare opportunity for them to get dressed up and have a nice, quiet dinner together and they plan on taking full advantage of it. They’d even decided to coordinate their outfits a little, matching Ashlyn’s maroon tie to the color of Ali’s dress. 

 

Once Ashlyn is done getting ready, she heads back into Ali’s room, grinning as she sees Ali in her maroon dress. “I feel like we’re going to prom,” she comments, looking down at her matching tie. 

 

“We’re totally  _ that _ couple,” Ali says, moving in to hug Ashlyn. “We should probably go, I know it’s going to be hard to say goodbye at my parents’.”

 

Ashlyn nods, locating the diaper bag and throwing it over her shoulder while Ali quickly changes Maddie’s diaper. “It’s going to be okay,” Ashlyn reassures Ali when they pull into her parents’ driveway. 

 

Ali squeezes Ashlyn’s hand, drawing on her strength. “I just love her and don’t want her to grow up so fast.”

 

“I know,” Ashlyn replies. “I feel the exact same way.”

 

Ali sighs, knowing they can’t put this off forever. She squeezes Ashlyn’s hand one last time before exiting the car, going to the back to get Madeline while Ashlyn gets the bag from the trunk. “Are you going to be good for grandma and grandpa?” she coos, lifting Maddie’s baby carrier out of the backseat. 

 

“I think she’s going to be the same little angel she always is,” Ashlyn comments as they make their way to the front door. When Deb answers the door and it’s time to say goodbye, however, all of her confidence in their decision goes out the window as she nervously rambles off all the little things about taking care of Maddie that Deb might not know. She likes the turtle night light (which they’ve packed). She’s had a diaper rash the last few days, be sure to use cream when you change her. She loves the pacifier when she’s fussy, especially before bed. Put her little stuffed shark in the crib with her at night; she mostly sleeps through the night now so if she wakes, it’s likely because the shark fell out of the crib. She loves pureed sweet potatoes, bananas, and carrots but  _ hates  _ peas. Ashlyn rambles on and on, trying to think of anything and everything Deb and Ken might need to know.

 

“Ash, honey,” Deb interrupts. “She’s going to be fine, okay? Now go have a good time and don’t worry about her.”

 

“Okay,” Ashlyn replies, still trying to think of anything she’s missed. When she can’t think of anything, she turns her attention to saying goodbye to Maddie who is currently perched on Ali’s hip. “I love you,” she coos, kissing her on the forehead. 

 

Ali smiles, watching as Ashlyn drags out the goodbye for as long as possible. She hadn’t expected Ashlyn to be the one nervously listing off things they should know about caring for Madeline but it makes her incredibly happy to see how much she cares. “We are going to be late,” she notes, kissing Maddie one last time before passing her off to Deb’s waiting arms. They walk to the car in silence, both willing themselves not to turn around and change their minds. “You good?” Ali questions quietly once they get in the car.

 

“Yeah, I don’t know what came over me,” Ashlyn replies, shrugging. 

 

“What came over you is that you care about Madeline and want her to be safe and happy.”

 

“Man, and here I thought I was playing it cool.”

 

“Honey, that was a certified freak out,” Ali counters, laughing.

 

“Sorry I got a little carried away. I guess I'm a little protective of her,” Ashlyn says.

 

“Honestly, it was adorable,”Ali replies. “I like knowing that you know as much about and love her as much as I do. Besides, if you didn’t tell my mom all those things, I would have so you really just saved me the trouble.”

 

Ashlyn laughs. “I guess we were both a little less ready for it than we initially thought.”

 

“No, maybe not,” Ali agrees. “But we never would’ve been ready for it. It’s only going to be, like, eighteen hours so I think we’ll live. Plus, I think she’s ready for it and that’s all that matters.”

 

They arrive at the restaurant a few minutes later, marvelling at how nice it is once they get inside. They’re led back to a small, candle lit table off to one side. Classical music plays quietly in the background, adding to the ambiance of the whole thing. “I’m so glad we’re finally doing this,” Ashlyn comments, taking Ali’s hand over the table after they’ve placed their orders.

 

“What? Dating or going on a date?” 

 

“Both,” Ashlyn replies. “I’m glad that we’re finally on a real date but I’m ecstatic that you’re already my girlfriend.”

 

“We’re doing everything so out of order,” Ali notes, smiling. 

 

Ashlyn laughs, thinking of all the changes in their relationship before even making it to their first date. “Well, it’s a good thing we’ve never really gone by the books.”

 

Ali nods in agreement, thanking the waiter who has just delivered their wine. “It feels like we’ve been doing this for years.”

 

“We kind of have been,” Ashlyn replies. “It just took us a while to realize we both wanted the same things.”

 

“Yeah, it only took the cutest baby in the world and living together for us to figure things out.”

 

“Maddie is the best wingwoman ever,” Ashlyn declares, lifting her wine glass for a toast. 

 

“To us finally getting our act together,” Ali says, clinking glasses with Ashlyn. 

 

“Twenty years later,” Ashlyn adds, grinning. 

 

“Hey, that’s not too bad considering we’re only 26--we still have most of our lives ahead of us.”

 

“I’ll drink to that,” Ashlyn replies, bringing her wine glass to her lips. 

 

Both women have the gift of the gab, as Ashlyn’s grandma always told them as kids, so although they live together, there’s no shortage of things for them to discuss. They tend to focus the conversation on themselves, a little mental break from all the focus that’s been on Maddie since Ali made that first phone call to Ashlyn. By the end of their dinner, Ali is a little tipsy from all the wine (Ashlyn stopped after one glass as their designated driver for the night) and she’s eager to get back home and take full advantage of their aloneness. When the order a dessert to split, Ali kicks her high heels off under the table and seductively runs her feet up and down Ashlyn’s calves. 

 

“Alex,” Ashlyn groans, immediately turned on by this side of Ali. “Public.”

 

“There’s a table cloth,” Ali counters, continuing her little tease. 

 

Ashlyn gulps at Ali’s ministrations as the waiter drops off their slice of rich chocolate cake, digging right in so they can get home as quickly as possible. 

 

“Babe, slow down,” Ali says, laughing as Ashlyn takes two bites of cake for every one she takes. “Remember you got sick eating cake that quickly at your aunt’s wedding.” They’d been eight at the time and Ashlyn was the flower girl and was miserable the entire night about the itchy dress she had to wear, so unlike her preferred tomboy style. When it was time for cake, however, she perked right up--eating three pieces in as many minutes and throwing up all over the front of her dress when she tried to dance with Ali just seconds later. It wasn’t her finest moment and her parents apologized profusely to the bride and groom but she did get to change into pants and a shirt from their hotel room upstairs for the rest of the reception which brightened her mood considerably. 

 

“Sorry,” Ashlyn mumbles, setting her fork down to stop herself from eating too quickly. “You’re torturing me, woman,” she whines as Ali continues moving her feet up and down her legs, even brushing the outside of her thighs. 

 

“You haven’t seen anything yet,” Ali husks, winking. She wants to get out of there almost as much as Ashlyn does but part of her loves torturing her girlfriend like this so she eats slowly, savoring each bite of cake. 

 

“You’re doing that on purpose,” Ashlyn complains as Ali licks all the frosting off of her fork in between each bite. 

 

“I’m absolutely doing this on purpose,” Ali concurs. “And it’s having the desired effect so I’m going to keep doing it until every last bite is gone.”

 

“That’s it,” Ashlyn exclaims, picking her own fork back up to devour as much of the cake as possible. By the time the waiter comes around to drop off their check, she’s already slipping her card out of her wallet, handing it over immediately. Without even the cake to distract her from Ali’s gentle touches, she starts bouncing her legs up and down, impatient to get back home. 

 

“Are you okay?” Ali asks, stopping when she feels Ashlyn’s legs bouncing. 

 

“Don’t act like you have no idea what you’re doing to me,” Ashlyn replies, slipping her card back into her wallet when the waiter drops it back off while Ali puts her shoes back on. “Let’s go,” she exclaims, taking Ali’s hand and leading them out of the restaurant. She seems frantic almost and Ali can’t help but giggle as they get into the car. 

 

“Seriously, are you okay?”

 

Ashlyn nods, turning to Ali and kissing her deeply over the center console, gently rubbing Ali’s jaw with her thumb. They don’t pull apart until they’re both breathless and flushed, even more ready to get back home. “That was evil of you,” Ashlyn comments as she puts the car in gear and tries her hardest not to speed. 

 

“You know what would be really evil?” Ali asks.

 

“What?”

 

“If I did all that and just left you hanging,” she replies, smirking

 

“Don’t even think about it,” Ashlyn warns. “I might never speak to you again.”

 

“Oh, I mean, if that’s all it takes,” Ali quips. 

 

When they get back to the house, Ashlyn quickly unbuckles herself, sprinting around to Ali’s side to help her out of the car (she knows she’s a little tipsy and doesn’t want her to fall in those high heels, the last thing they need right now is a sprained ankle). They don’t speak when they get inside, there’s no need to, as Ashlyn immediately presses Ali up against a wall, kissing her deeply. Ali jumps up a little, wrapping her legs tightly around Ashlyn’s waist as they make out, nearly knocking a framed photograph off the wall above Ali’s head. 

 

“Bed,” Ali demands. 

 

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” Ashlyn replies, carrying Ali upstairs to the bedroom. She’s about to lay them both on the bed when Ali jumps out of her arms, immediately taking off her dress to reveal a black lace bra and panties. 

 

“This has gotta go,” Ali says, taking off Ashlyn’s suit jacket and tossing it to the chair across the room. “This too,” she adds, working the buttons of Ashlyn’s shirt, loosening the tie enough to get the shirt off of Ashlyn’s shoulders while Ashlyn removes her pants and boxers, leaving her in just her bra and maroon tie. 

 

Ashlyn reconnects their lips, missing the feel of Ali’s lips on hers. Ali pulls back a few seconds later, much to Ashlyn’s cargin. “Alex,” she wines.

 

Ali doesn’t reply, simply slipping her fingers under the band of Ashlyn’s sports bra, tugging it over her head. With Ashlyn in nothing but her tie, she looks her body up and down, unabashedly licking her lips. 

 

“Like what you see?” Ashlyn asks, smirking at the attention. 

 

Ali hums, tugging Ashlyn by her tie to the bed, pushing her down onto it and crawling her way up her body. “So long and lean,” she compliments, raking her blunt nails down Ashlyn’s torso. She moves down a little, tossing Ashlyn’s tie out of the way and taking one of her nipples between her teeth. 

 

“Agh, fuck,” Ashlyn exclaims, arching her back up. 

 

Ali presses a gentle kiss to each one of Ashlyn’s breasts before moving back up to make out with her. “Let’s see how much of an affect my teasing had on you,” she says, slipping a hand between Ashlyn’s legs. “Oh my god,” she whispers, finding Ashlyn even more wet than she expected. 

 

“Alex, I need--” Ashlyn breathes, losing her train of thought when Ali takes mercy on her, moving her hand expertly, lazily kissing her neck. 

 

After all the teasing at dinner, it doesn’t take Ashlyn very long to come, shaking and moaning out her orgasm as Ali strokes her with her fingers. “I like making you do that,” Ali says, moving to lick her fingers clean. 

 

“I like you making me do that,” Ashlyn replies, taking a moment to recover as Ali joins her at the top of the bed. “You still have too many clothes on,” she complains. 

 

“Well then get over here and take them off of me,” Ali demands, getting settled on the pillow. 

 

Ashlyn does as she’s told, straddling Ali’s hips and reaching behind her to undo the clasp of her bra, tossing it across the room. She hovers over Ali, her tie hanging between them as they kiss. When she moves down, she takes the silky tie in between her fingers, using it to brush over Ali’s nipples, much to Ali’s delight. Ali moans loudly as her sensitive nippes are stimulated by the dual sensation of the silk and Ashlyn’s fingers. “Oh, you like that,” Ashlyn comments, smirking at how Ali reacts to the touch. She takes her tie from her neck, dropping it on Ali’s chest. “You can continue with that while I make you come, okay?” Ali nods, taking the silky tie between her own fingers and rubbing it on her breasts as Ashlyn makes her way farther down her body, settling between her legs. “So, so beautiful,” she says, stroking Ali with her fingers a few times before replacing them with her tongue. 

 

As Ashlyn works Ali with her tongue, both women are endlessly grateful that they have the house to themselves as Ali, still a little buzzed, can’t quite control her loud moans and expletives. When she comes, she screams Ashlyn’s name so loud that Ashlyn actually hopes their neighbors don’t have their windows open. 

 

“You good?” Ashlyn asks quietly when she joins Ali on the pillows. 

 

Ali rolls to her side so they’re facing each other. “I love you,” she says, blissful smile on her face. 

 

“I love you too,” Ashlyn replies without missing a beat. They’ve said those words hundreds of times throughout their lives but this is the first time they’ve said it since they started dating so although the words are the same, the emotion behind them is different and Ashlyn finds herself replaying them through her head. “I love you so much.”

 

“We can’t screw this up,” Ali muses, running her hands through Ashlyn’s hair. 

 

“No, we can’t,” Ashlyn agrees. After all they’ve been through, failing at this relationship would easily be the greatest failure of their lives. But there’s a second meaning behind Ali’s words, she knows. It’s not just that they can’t let themselves screw this up, it’s also that neither one of them could envision a scenario in which things go wrong. Afterall, they’ve known each other their entire lives and have seen each other through all of each other’s best and worse times so far. They’ve also lived together for over a year now and have a good partnership--not only as housemates but also as parents and now, girlfriends. “I’ll never love anyone else as long as I live,” Ashlyn promises. “Well, except Maddie and any other future children we may have.”

 

“Pinkie swear?” 

 

“Pinkie swear,” Ashlyn replies, linking their pinkies together. 

 

“I’ve loved you my whole life,” Ali says. “My whole entire life.”

 

“I loved you from the moment you turned around to yell at me for pulling your hair. Then when you smiled I knew I wanted you to be my friend forever.”

 

Ali smiles. “Well now we get to be girlfriends and have sex and raise children together while still being best friends, right?”

 

“That’s the best kind of girlfriends,” Ashlyn comments, leaning in to kiss Ali. As soft as the kiss starts out, it quickly becomes passionate, both women ready for more and wanting to take advantage of their rare time home alone. They don’t rush this time, teasing each other to the brink several times before finally giving in, giving that last stroke or lick to push the other over the edge. They finally stop when they’re both sated and exhausted, reminding themselves that they need to sleep so they can pick Maddie up in the morning. 

 

“I love you,” Ali whispers, on the verge of sleep.

 

“I love you too,” Ashlyn replies, snuggling into her girlfriend’s embrace. “You and Maddie are everything to me.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's the continuation of the last chapter. 
> 
> Thoughts? Favorite parts/ lines? Anything you hope to see?
> 
> Next chapter is one of my favorites (Maddie's first Christmas) so I think you know what to do to get me to post soon ;)


	12. santa

Madeline’s first holiday season rolls around quickly as Ali and Ashlyn adjust to the changes in their relationship and watch Maddie grow before their eyes. Although they spend Halloween at home (Madeline is far too young for candy), they go all out and dress up as characters from _The Wizard of Oz,_ even getting Ali’s parents involved. Naturally, Ali goes as Glinda, pink princess dress and all; Ashlyn goes as the Wicked Witch, dressed head to toe in black; Deb and Ken dress as the Cowardly Lion and the Tin Man, respectively; and they dress Maddie as Dorothy in a checkered blue and white dress, even finding her a stuffed dog to hold.

 

Madeline begins crawling independently by the time Thanksgiving comes around, requiring constant supervision as she explores the world around her and grabs anything within reach.

 

“Man, she’s fast,” Kyle comments, watching his nine month old niece crawl around their parents’ house on Thanksgiving day.

 

“We can’t take our eyes off of her,” Ali replies. “Anything she finds, she sticks in her mouth so we have to be really careful to not leave anything small or dangerous where she can reach.”

 

“How are things with Ash going?” he asks, glancing over to the blonde who’s sitting on the floor playing with Maddie and their cousin’s kids.

 

“They’re great,” Ali answers. “Though they’ve never really not been great with her, you know?”

 

“Well I’m happy for you two and I fully expect more nieces and nephews in the future.”

 

Ali laughs. “Give it a few years, will you? Besides, when are you going to give Ash and I nieces and nephews?”

 

“As soon as I find someone I love as much as you love Ashlyn.”

 

\---

 

In early December, Ali decides that they should do family pictures for their holiday cards this year. It’s Maddie’s first Christmas so it seems appropriate to mark it by sending photo cards instead of store bought ones.

 

“It’s a great idea,” Ashlyn agrees, kissing Ali when she explains her idea. They haven’t had professional pictures taken yet (although Kyle’s are pretty damn close) and the idea of taking family photos makes Ashlyn’s stomach fill with butterflies, making their relationship seem that much more official.

 

So they schedule a shoot with a friend of theirs and pick coordinating outfits--all of them in black pants and boots, Ali in a cream sweater and grey scarf, Ashlyn in a grey sweater, and Maddie in a red onesie and grey tutu with her black leggings underneath.

 

Since the pictures of all three of them are the most important, they start with those first, the photographer arranging them in different poses. It’s a little difficult to get Madeline to cooperate at first (she’s still only ten months old and doesn’t have much of an attention span) but with the help of an assistant cooing and blowing bubbles, they manage to get quite a few quality shots in which she’s smiling and looking at the camera.

 

“I’m obsessed with these,” Ali says as they look through the shots.

 

Ashlyn agrees, saying that she’s happy enough with them to move on to solo shots of Maddie before getting ones of Ali and Maddie alone together. The ones of Maddie by herself are significantly easier and both Ali and Ashlyn can work together to keep her attention on the camera and they don’t have to worry about being ready for the pictures themselves.

 

“That’s my good girl,” Ali coos, scooping Maddie up for their pictures together.

 

Ashlyn watches the two of them together as the photographer snaps picture after picture. As much as Maddie looked like Ali when she was first born, she somehow manages to look more and more like her the older she gets. Her personality, however, is a little more like Ashlyn’s. She’s a little more cuddly than Ali is--although Ali does love cuddling with Ashlyn and Maddie--and she’s starting to show signs of being a little more sensitive than Ali, taking after Ashlyn in both of those ways. She also loves the water, which delights Ashlyn to no end as she still tries to convince Ali to let her try surfing when she’s bigger.

 

When they’re done, Ali hands Madeline off to Ashlyn. “Your turn,” she says brightly.

 

Ashlyn pauses, not expecting to take her own pictures with just Maddie. “Really?” she asks excitedly.

 

“Really,” Ali replies, nodding. “She needs professional pictures with both of her moms.”

 

Ashlyn grins, leaning in to kiss Ali quickly. “Thank you,” she whispers. It’s only been a few months so she still often forgets that Ali thinks of her as Madeline’s mom too so any type of reminder is a big deal for her. She couldn’t love Madeline more if she was her own and really, she is her own, but it’s still hard to wrap her head around that fact after so many months of thinking of her as Ali’s daughter. She when she sits down for her own pictures with Madeline, she can’t stop smiling as she proudly holds the baby on her lap, even looking down lovingly a few times as Ali’s gesture fully sinks in.

 

As Ali watches her two loves get their pictures taken together, she’s nearly moved to tears at how happy Ashlyn looks. There’d been no doubt in her mind that they were going to do pictures of just Madeline and Ashlyn together but Ashlyn had seemed a little surprised by the idea, still sometimes unsure of where Ali wants her to fit in. In a way, the surprise of it all made everything that much better as Ashlyn smiles with her dimple on full display the entire time she holds Maddie in front of the camera. “You’re adorable,” Ali comments, kissing both Ashlyn and Maddie when they’ve gotten some good shots.

 

“I don’t even know which one of us you’re talking to,” Ashlyn says.

 

“Both,” Ali replies. “Now put Maddie in her stroller really quick so we can get some pictures of just the two of us.”

 

Ashlyn nods, strapping Maddie into her stroller and ensuring that she has enough toys within reach to distract her while she and Ali get some pictures of just the two of them. It doesn’t take long to get good pictures of the two adults as they have much better attention spans than Maddie (although Ali sometimes says that Maddie focuses better than Ashlyn).

 

The entire process takes just over two hours which the photographer says is pretty good for a couple with a child as young as Madeline. Just before they leave, they pick their favorite shots and make orders for prints, including ones for a large canvas photo of the three of them together and two smaller ones of each of them with Maddie that they plan on hanging in the living room.

 

“We’re definitely making this a tradition,” Ashlyn declares, watching Ali tuck the disk of their pictures into her purse.

 

“Absolutely,” Ali agrees. “It’ll be nice to be able to hang all the pictures up together and see how we all change from year to year.”

 

“Thank you for letting me do pictures by myself with her,” Ashlyn says quietly as they make their way to the car.

 

Ali stops, looking Ashlyn in the eyes. “There’s no reason I wouldn’t,” she says.

 

“I know but still thank you,” Ashlyn replies. “We’re not married or anything yet so it means a lot that you already treat her like she’s mine.”

 

“She absolutely is yours,” Ali asserts, gently taking Ashlyn’s chin in her hand and pulling her in for a kiss. “We’re both yours forever.”

 

\---

 

As much as they try not to, everyone goes a little overboard for Madeline’s first Christmas, especially Deb and Ken who are really living up to their promise to spoil their first grandchild silly. Ali tries to put her foot down, to say no even to herself, but it’s her baby’s first Christmas so she excuses it by arguing that Maddie only gets one first Christmas and there’s no harm in spoiling her just this one time.

 

Maddie’s favorite stuffed animals are the various shark ones Ashlyn has bought for her--including the massive one from that trip to Target that is big enough for her to sleep on--so Ashlyn excitedly buys her as many sharked themed things as she possibly can. Buying things for Ali comes relatively easy as well as Ashlyn turns to a trusted old friend: the jewelry store. Madeline’s birthday is in February so Ashlyn sets out to find something amethyst for Ali, knowing that she’ll love something with Maddie’s birthstone in it. She finally settles on a thin pave amethyst ring, beautiful enough on its own but small enough to stack when they have more kids. She also gets her a small pair of diamond earrings which she may or may not plan on borrowing a few times for herself.

 

Ali, meanwhile, takes Chirstmas as an opportunity to buy Madeline tons of new outfits. There are only seven weeks until her first birthday but she’s growing so fast that she might already be grown out of some of it by the time her birthday comes which will be another opportunity to stock her wardrobe.

 

Even Ashlyn’s family goes a little overboard, gifting Madeline with tons of new toys when they spend Christmas Eve at Ashlyn’s grandma’s house. Even before Ali and Ashlyn started dating, the Harris clan had welcomed Maddie as one of their own, knowing how much Ali and Maddie mean to Ashlyn. Now that they’re dating, there’s no stopping them from spoiling the little girl they all love so much.

 

By the time they get home after spending the evening with Ashlyn’s family, Madeline is already asleep in her new red and green reindeer pajamas so they carefully carry her upstairs and lay her in her crib.

 

“Merry Christmas, baby girl,” Ali whispers, stroking Madeline’s cheek before making her way out of the room to help Ashlyn get all the presents ready. “Oh my god,” she exclaims, entering the living room to find that Ashlyn has changed into loose fitting Santa suit boxers and a red sports bra. “What the hell are you wearing?”

 

Ashlyn shrugs. “It’s Christmas,” she defends.

 

Ali laughs so hard her stomach starts to hurt at the sight of her girlfriend’s ensemble. “I need to take a picture of this,” she says, pulling her phone out of her back pocket as Ashlyn stands next to the tree with her arms crossed. “Blackmail,” she says, laughing as she tosses her phone onto the couch.

 

“What and like you didn’t buy a skimpy little Mrs. Claus ensemble?”

 

“That was supposed to be a surprise, you jackass,” Ali reprimands, gently slapping Ashlyn’s bare arm.

 

“Then you probably shouldn’t have left it in a bag on my side of the closet,” Ashlyn replies, shrugging. “Don’t worry, I’ll pretend to be surprised when I see it.”

 

“You better,” Ali replies, placing a hand on Ashlyn’s bare stomach and leaning in to kiss her. “You’re much better looking than I expected Santa to be.”

 

“Awww, shucks,” Ashlyn says, leaning in for another kiss.

 

They take their time setting presents out, maybe even too much time as Ashlyn convinces Ali to put on her Christmas themed lingerie sometime after midnight, taking it off of her almost as soon as she sees it as they make love on the couch. When they’re done, all Ashlyn wants to do it cuddle but Ali takes her hand, forcing her to get up so they can finish getting all the presents out and go to bed.

 

“It’s so weird,” Ashlyn muses as she fills their stockings. “Last year she wasn’t even here yet and now we’re getting ready for her first Christmas.”

 

“It is weird,” Ali agrees, methodically arranging the presents underneath the tree. “I miss being pregnant sometimes but I love getting to hold her and see her learn about the world and I especially love hearing her laugh and seeing you two together.”

 

“I love getting to hold her and watch her grow up,” Ashlyn says. “It was a little harder when you were pregnant because we weren’t dating yet and I always had to remind myself that I was just helping you out so, I don’t know, it makes me feel really good that we’re dating now and I don’t have to think like that anymore. I love having that bond with her and not second guessing myself anymore.”

 

Ali turns around, watching Ashlyn carefully fill Maddie’s stocking with some smaller toys. “And here I thought you were only in this for the sex,” she quips.

 

Ashlyn stops what she’s doing, meeting Ali’s eyes across the room. “I’m being serious, Alex. Like, of course I’m dating you because I’m in love with you but I’m also in love with her and you both make me happier than I ever thought possible.”

 

“You make us happy too,” Ali replies, getting up from her spot to draw Ashlyn into her arms. She stands on her tiptoes, wrapping her arms around Ashlyn’s neck.“There’s no one else in the world I’d rather have as her second parent.”

 

“I love you,” Ashlyn whispers, crouched down a little to nuzzle into Ali’s neck.

 

“I love you too.”

 

They quickly finish getting everything ready for the morning, leaving the Christmas tree plugged in so it’s on when they come downstairs after Madeline wakes up. “Ash, are you asleep?” Ali whispers, laying awake over an hour after they got in bed.

 

Ashlyn pops one eye open. “I’m too excited,” she replies. “She has no idea what’s going on and here we can’t sleep.”

 

Ali laughs, softer than normal in her tired state. “It’s our baby’s first Christmas, of course we’re too excited to sleep.”

 

“And our first as a couple,” Ashlyn notes, finally opening both eyes.

 

“First of a million,” Ali replies, grinning.

 

They finally manage to fall asleep a few minutes later, still excited for the morning to come but forcing them to get some sleep so they’re able to actually enjoy Maddie’s first Christmas. When they hear Maddie wake in the morning, they both spring out of bed, quickly going into the bathroom to brush their teeth before changing Madeline’s diaper.

 

“Merry Christmas, Maddie,” Ashlyn exclaims, tossing her into the air a little when Ali goes downstairs to put a pot of coffee on. “Santa brought you so many presents because you’ve been such a good girl this year--well, except for driving your mother _crazy_ by going a week over your due date. I’m surprised Santa didn’t fill your stocking with coal for that.” She smiles, hugging the wiggly ten month old close to her chest until Ali gives her the all clear to bring Maddie downstairs.

 

“Merry Christmas, sweetie,” Ali cheers, holding her phone up to record a video when Ashlyn brings Maddie into the living room.

 

Ashlyn sets Maddie on the floor. “Go see Mommy and your presents,” she encourages, smiling as Maddie crawls away from her and towards the shiny presents surrounding the tree. They try to get her to open her presents but she’s much more interested in chewing on the shiny paper so they end up doing most of the work and showing her what was inside.

 

By the time they’re done with Madeline’s presents, it’s time to put her down for a nap so Ali takes her upstairs and puts her in the crib while Ashlyn gathers their presents for each other, which had been buried to the back to the tree by all of Madeline’s gifts. When Ali returns, Ashlyn offers to start another pot of coffee while Ali uploads some pictures of the morning to facebook.

 

“You go first,” Ashlyn says handing Ali the earrings box first.

 

“Ohhh, these are beautiful,” Ali exclaims, taking in the (quite appropriately) princess cut diamond studs. “I love them, thank you,” she says, leaning forward to kiss Ashlyn.

 

“There’s one more,” Ashlyn replies, pulling the other box from behind her back and watching as Ali opens it.

 

“Maddie’s birthstone,” Ali breathes, immediately slipping the thin ring onto her middle finger.

 

“Do you like it?”

 

“Of course I like it,” Ali replies, kissing Ashlyn again. They almost get carried away when Ali pulls back, excited to give Ashlyn her own present.

 

“The year of jewelry, I guess,” Ashlyn jokes when Ali hands her a small box. She’s not expecting an engagement ring, not yet, so there’s not even a hint of disappointment when she opens the box to find a pair of earrings of her own--a decent sized round amethyst in the center of each surrounded by five small diamonds. “Great minds think alike,” she says, grinning at Ali. “These are stunning, Alex.”

 

“I thought you’d like them,” Ali replies. “I’m so glad her birthstone is one of the better ones.”

 

Ashlyn laughs. “We should only have kids in months with good birthstones,” she jokes, eyes going wide as Ali seems to take her seriously. “Alex, no, we’re not planning kids based on birthstones,” she says, shaking her head vigorously.

 

Ali huffs, crossing her arms. “Fine, but don’t blame me if they all end up clashing and we have to wear mothers’ rings with a bunch of crazy different colors in them.”

 

“I’m pretty sure we’ll live,” Ashlyn replies, kissing Ali to placate her. “I love you and I love these earrings and I really loved that little show you gave me last night.”

 

“Oh yeah?”

 

Ashlyn nods.

 

“Well, I think you’re in luck because my parents and Kyle aren’t supposed to get her another hour or so. I suppose we could go upstairs for a second showing,” she offers, laughing as Ashlyn immediately jumps up from her spot and sprints upstairs. “That’s the fastest you’ve ever moved,” Ali comments when she joins her in their bedroom.

 

Ashlyn sticks her tongue out from her place in bed, grinning as Ali makes a show of stripping off her pajamas and slipping into the red lingerie set with white feather trim. “Merry Christmas to me,” Ashlyn mumbles.

 

They don’t have too much time to waste, not with Ali’s family set to arrive around lunchtime, so Ali uses the lingerie set to her advantage as she tries to see how quickly she can make Ashlyn come (they end up dressed and ready for Ali’s family with thirty minutes to spare, even after Ashlyn repays the favor). By the time Maddie wakes up from her morning nap, they only have a few minutes before Ali’s family is scheduled to arrive so Ashlyn changes her diaper and puts her in the red Christmas dress Ali had insisted on buying despite Ashlyn’s protests that it looked uncomfortable for a baby (or anyone) to wear. Ali was adamant though, saying that she only had to wear it for a little while before they could put her back into a sleep-n-play so Ashlyn dutifully dresses her the way Ali envisioned.

 

“Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll spill something on it soon enough,” Ashlyn whispers conspiratorially as she carries her downstairs on her hip.

 

“There’s my pretty girl,” Ali coos, looking up from the TV remote as she types in the numbers for the TBS marathon of _A Christmas Story._ “I can already tell this dress isn’t going to last long,” she muses.

 

“Probably not,” Ashlyn agrees. “But long enough for pictures,” she coos, bouncing Maddie on her hip.

 

Ali’s family pulls into the driveway a few minutes later so Ashlyn puts Maddie in her playpen while Ali goes into the kitchen to check on the lasagna (a Krieger Christmas tradition) and Ashlyn goes outside to help bring in garbage bags full of presents.

 

“Look, Maddie,” she cheers, carrying the bags to the tree and arranging them around it. “More presents for our spoiled little princess.”

 

“We might’ve overdone it,” Deb admits, bringing over yet another bag full of gifts.

 

“We have no room to talk,” Ashlyn replies. “You should go check out all the new stuff in her room.”

 

“Well maybe we just need more babies to spread the love around a little more,” Deb hints, winking.

 

Ashlyn groans. “Let us get this one walking and out of diapers first.”

 

“Kyle and Ali are only a year apart,” Deb notes.

 

“And I think you were outta your damn mind doing it like that,” Ashlyn replies, laughing when Deb agrees with her. If there’s one thing that can be said about the Krieger women is that they are persistent. It’s a trait Ashlyn admires about them most of the time but in times like these, she wishes they would give up on certain things a little easier. Luckily for her, Ali comes into the room to greet her parents and brother so Deb gives up on her little quest--for the moment, at least.

 

When it comes time to open presents again, Ali and Ashlyn decide to let their guests take the lead and help Madeline with her gifts while they cuddle on the couch and take pictures of the proceedings.

 

“Now I know why my parents got so into Christmas when I was little,” Ali notes, watching as Deb helps Maddie open her presents while Ken tries to free one of them from its box. Maddie doesn’t quite understand what’s going on but she clearly loves the attention and seeing her new toys so she babbles away excitedly, grabbing for anything that captures her attention--including trying to reach for some of the ornaments that Ali and Ashlyn placed high on the tree for that exact reason.

 

“Best Christmas ever,” Ashlyn declares. “It’s going to be so much fun when she actually knows what’s happening.”

 

“Maybe one day she’ll be determined to catch Santa in the act like Kyle and I were.”

 

Ashlyn laughs, remembering all about Ali and Kyle’s grand plan to sit in front of the tree until Santa came one year. Naturally, they’d ended up falling asleep so Deb and Ken carried them up to their beds and tucked them in before putting the presents in front of the tree. When Ali and Kyle woke in their beds the next morning, Deb managed to convince them that Santa had tucked them in, much to their delight. “Well then I’ll wear those boxers when we put out presents every year in case she tries to come downstairs and peek,” she says, eliciting a loud laugh from Ali.

 

“Yeah, I think she’ll notice that you’re not exactly built like Santa.”

 

“Good point, maybe we’ll have to invest in a full Santa suit,” Ashlyn suggests.

 

“I would pay a million dollars to see that,” Ali replies, laughing.

 

Later, after all the presents are open and Kyle gets settled into the guest room (Ashlyn’s old room), Ashlyn suggests having Maddie sleep in their bed for the night, wanting to cuddle with her two favorite people after a long but exciting day. Ali thinks it’s an excellent idea, a little Christmas treat for all of them since they usually have Maddie sleep in her crib. When Ali’s done getting ready for bed and sees Ashlyn and Madeline cuddling in the middle, her heart swells with love and pride and something that can’t quite be explained. “My girls,” she sighs, climbing into bed next to them, Maddie sandwiched in the middle.

 

“Merry Christmas,” Ashlyn says, kissing a very sleepy Madeline on the cheek.

 

“Don’t forget Mommy,” Ali demands.

 

“Wait your turn,” Ashlyn chides. “Love you, sweet girl,” she says, kissing Madeline’s cheek again. “And I love you, Alex. Merry Christmas.” She leans in to kiss Ali’s cheek just like she kissed Maddie’s but Ali turns at the last second, wanting a kiss on the lips.

 

“I love you too,” Ali replies, stroking Ashlyn’s bottom lip with her thumb. “My beautiful family,” she breathes, looking between Ashlyn and Maddie.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, it's been a busy week
> 
> As always, I'd love to hear what you think, I really do appreciate every single comment :)


	13. birthday

The weeks between Christmas and Madeline’s first birthday bring some of her most exciting developmental milestones yet. Eager to get her to start talking, Ali and Ashlyn spend lots of times trying to get her to say simple words, especially ‘mama’. After a while, it becomes almost a competition for them to see who can get her to say it first. 

 

“Ashlyn, I swear to god, I’m never speaking to you again if she says it to you first,” Ali warns one night, walking into Madeline’s room after she heard Ashlyn trying to coax her to say it over the baby monitor. “Not to be dramatic but I literally went to 41 weeks with her, she’s going to say it to me first.”

 

“Yeah, and I had to go to 41 weeks with you,” Ashlyn counters. 

 

Ali rolls her eyes but doesn’t argue (she knows she was pretty difficult to deal with towards the end of her pregnancy) but she’s not willing to give Ashlyn the satisfaction nor is she willing to give up on her quest to hear Maddie say it first. 

 

They each continue their quest to be the first to hear it for the next few days. Then on a lazy Sunday at home, they’re both sitting on the floor playing with the eleven month old when she looks up from her toy, finally saying the magical word. Quite appropriately, Ali and Ashlyn are sitting too close together for them to really be able to tell which one it was directed towards. 

 

“That’s my good girl,” Ali exclaims. “‘Mama’,” the says, trying to get the little girl to say it again. 

 

“Mama,” Madeline echos, grinning when both of her moms cheer. 

 

Once they have her repeat it several times, listening to her little voice, Ashlyn looks at Ali with happy tears on her face. “She’s growing up,” she cries. 

 

“I know.”

 

Ashlyn pauses, wiping her tears from her eyes. “I think that first one was directed at both of us,” she notes. 

 

“I think so too,” Ali agrees, taking Ashlyn’s hand. “Pretty good compromise, don’t you think?”

 

“The perfect compromise,” Ashlyn replies, kissing Ali. “Now we need to get her to differentiate between us so it’s less confusing.”

 

It’s amazing how much saying her first word unlocks her language capabilities. Over the next few weeks, she begins saying other simple words like ‘no’, ‘hi’, and ‘bye’, although she still needs a little encouragement to say those words. Most of the time, she just shows off by saying her favorite word, delighting her parents every time she says it. 

 

She also shows signs of being ready to walk, often pulling herself up on the coffee table or couch and trying to move around the room. They hope that she’ll be walking by her first birthday party, set for the day before her actual birthday, but she’s not quite there yet. 

 

Ali and Ashlyn go all out for her first birthday, deciding to make it sea themed since she loves the beach so much. In the weeks before the party, they collect as many decorations as possible, getting ready to decorate the whole house in blues and greens for the celebration. After inviting nearly the whole town to the party, the spend the entire morning of the party cleaning, prepping food, and decorating. 

 

“I’ve got the cakes,” Ashlyn announces, making her way into the kitchen on the morning of the party to find Ali cooking while Maddie eats cheerios in her high chair. 

 

“Oh, let me see,” Ali exclaims as Ashlyn sets the cakes down on the counter. Naturally, they’d picked shark themes cakes, reflecting Maddie (and Ashlyn’s) love for her shark stuffed animals. For the guests, they ordered a marble sheet cake with vanilla frosting with a cartoon shark printed on the top but for Madeline, they ordered a cake that’s actually shaped like a great white shark. “She’s going to destroy that so we better get pictures of it now,” Ali notes, looking at Maddie’s personal cake. 

 

“I will if she doesn’t,” Ashlyn comments, taking out her phone to snap pictures of it. “Ugh, do we have to give this to her? I want it for myself,” she grumbles, staring at the expertly crafted cake. 

 

“You poor thing,” Ali replies with faux sympathy. “How about I get one for your birthday?”

 

“Mama,” Madeline says, reaching her hands out for Ashlyn to lift her out of her high chair, tearing Ashlyn’s attention away from the cake. 

 

“There’s our little birthday girl,” Ashlyn exclaims, cleaning off Madeline’s high chair tray before lifting the shirtless baby out of it. She kisses her, smiling when Maddie puckers her own lips to reciprocate the kiss. “Oh, you’re so big and smart,” Ashlyn coos, blowing raspberries on her chest. 

 

“Wait, let Mommy join,” Ali says, stopping her food prep once again and coming around to the other side of the breakfast bar to join in on the little love fest. They take turns getting as many kisses as possible from Madeline until she gets bored and tries to wiggle out of their arms. 

 

“You have a handle on everything in here?” Ashlyn asks. 

 

“Yeah, I’m almost done,” Ali replies. 

 

“I’m going to go tire her out so she’ll go down for her nap a little early,” Ashlyn says, trailing Maddie as she crawls out into the living room. They play together for nearly an hour--Ashlyn careful to prevent her from pulling down any of the party decorations--before Madeline finally seems tired enough to go down for a nap, at which point Ashlyn takes her upstairs and rocks her to sleep in the glider. Rocking Maddie to sleep has always been one of Ashlyn’s favorite bonding activities with her. She didn’t get the connection from nursing like Ali so rocking her to sleep was the next best thing. She always watches her face--always awake at first, fighting off sleep as best as she can but her eyes always flutter closed eventually, safe and secure enough in her arms to fall asleep peacefully, often clutching one of her fingers. In continuing with their tradition from before she was even born, Ashlyn usually either reads to her or makes up a bedtime story of her own. This time, she quietly reminisces over the last year. “This time last year you were driving Mommy crazy by refusing to be born,” Ashlyn says softly, watching as Madeline struggles to keep her eyes open. “And Mommy and I weren’t even dating yet but I already knew I loved both of you more than anything in the whole wide world. Now I get to be your mama too and I love you and her even more for letting me be that for you.” She smiles, seeing that the birthday girl is losing her battle against sleep as her eyes flutter closed and her breath evens out. “It might not be for a little while but I promise Mommy and I are going to get married and I’ll get to adopt you and we’ll officially be a family. I promise.” Certain that she’s fully asleep now, Ashlyn gently kisses her forehead and stands to lower her into her crib. 

 

“You trying to make me cry?” Ali asks softly from the doorway. 

 

“No, I didn't even know you were there,” Ashlyn replies, grinning. “Did it work though?”

 

“A little,” Ali answers, wiping a few stray tears from her cheek. As soon as Ashlyn closes the gap between them, Ali stands on her toes to wrap her arms around her neck, drawing her close. “I can’t wait for that day,” she whispers. 

 

“Me neither,” Ashlyn replies, pulling Ali as close as she can. 

 

“We were totally dating back then, by the way,” Ali says once they’ve broken apart and headed downstairs to continue party prep.

 

“We were not,” Ashlyn counters. “You literally went on a date with someone else.”

 

Ali laughs. “Yeah, with Catherine who is coming today, by the way, so you better be on your best behavior.”

 

“Hey, I’m nice to her,” Ashlyn defends, crossing her arms. “I actually like Catherine a lot.”

 

“Yeah, now that you got what you want,” Ali replies, rolling her eyes. “Besides, I wasn’t talking about that--I meant the two of you need to stay out of trouble and not antagonize me like you love to do when you’re together.”

 

“My twin and I would never do such a thing,” Ashlyn replies, pretending to be offended. 

 

Ali groans, shaking her head. “I’m never going to live that down,” she says. “Anyway, I think she’s bringing her new girlfriend.”

 

“Does she happen to look exactly like you?” 

 

“Good one,” Ali deadpans. “No, she’s super tall and has red hair. I think Catherine has pictures with her on Facebook.”

 

“Oh, she's the model, right? I'm excited to meet her.”

 

\---

 

Party guests start arriving around 1:00, just before Madeline wakes up from her nap. Naturally, she becomes the center of attention as soon as Ali brings her downstairs in her little shark print dress. A true only (for now) child, Maddie thrives on being the center of attention so she crawls around the house, delighting her guests when they coax her into saying some of the words she knows. 

 

“She’s the perfect little hostess,” Catherine comments, coming up next to Ali and Ashlyn as they watch Maddie show off for her guests. 

 

“Just like her mommy,” Ashlyn compliments, squeezing Ali’s hand. “Rachel seems to love her,” she comments, looking towards where Catherine’s girlfriend is playing peek-a-boo with the one year old. 

 

“Rachel is great, Catherine,” Ali says. “I’m so happy for you.” 

 

“Thanks,” Catherine beams. “What about you two?” she questions after Ashlyn politely excuses herself when she sees Whitney come through the front door, gift bag in hand. “You going to lock it down anytime soon?”

 

“Maybe not soon soon but hopefully sometime this year,” Ali replies, smiling. “We would definitely want Maddie to be walking and able to be our flower girl so we’ll probably wait a bit.”

 

When it comes time for everyone to sing happy birthday--Maddie in her high chair with her shark cake in front of her--Ali almost cries as she looks around the room and sees all the people who love her daughter. It’s been the best year of her life without question and as much as she can’t wait to find out what’s to come, she’s a little sad that Maddie is swiftly moving from baby to toddler. She thinks back to her promise to Maddie made just minutes after she knew of her existence. If there’s one thing that she knows, it’s that she kept that promise to the little girl perched in her high chair. She’s absolutely done the best that she could, all of her decisions in the last 21 months coming down to what is best for Maddie. Sure, she’s messed up a few times--quite a few times, in fact--but she’s done right by her, always keeping her best interest in mind when she makes decisions. The little life that captured her heart the second she saw the word ‘pregnant’ is now a  _ toddler  _ with a big smile and an even bigger personality. She’d had a choice back then, to keep the baby or not, but there was never really much of a decision to be made at all--Madeline was always loved by her mother, even back when the thought of her scared Ali to death. 

 

Then there’s Ashlyn. Wonderful, wonderful Ashlyn who moved in with her to help her raise her then unborn child without expecting anything in return. It was so selfless, leaving the life she’d built for herself in Orlando, but she’d done it without complaint and was there for every single craving, every contraction, every late night diaper changing. She was there during all of the gritty moments of becoming a parent, just like she’s been there for all the great ones. Sweet, loyal Ashlyn who has never not been there when Ali needed her, even when she had to drive two hours to Gainesville in the middle of the night when Ali’s first girlfriend broke her heart more than any of her boyfriends ever had. Ashlyn who has not only been there  _ when _ Ali needs her but  _ how _ she needs her--knowing when to let her process things quietly, offering emotional support; when to offer verbal support, saying that everything’s going to be okay; and knowing when it’s time for a little tough love. She stands by Ali’s side now, squeezing her hand as she senses Ali’s emotions in that uncanny way of hers, as they sing happy birthday to  _ their  _ daughter. They don’t need to say anything, focusing on watching and taking pictures as Maddie tries to eat her cake with her hands, getting most of it on herself instead of eating it. When Ali goes to cut the cake for everyone else, Ashlyn is right there beside her to get the ice cream ready.

 

“I love you,” Ashlyn says, getting the ice cream scoop wet for easier scooping. “Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah, just thinking about this last year,” Ali replies. “I love you too.”

 

“It’s kind of bittersweet,” Ashlyn replies, fully understanding everything Ali’s feeling. Feeling everything Ali’s feeling. 

 

The party is a huge success--everyone compliments Ali and Ashlyn on a great afternoon. Some of their friends with kids even comment that they might hire them to plan parties for their kids, to which Ali replies that she’ll gladly help whenever they want. 

 

As much as they tried to get frosting off of Maddie’s face after cake, she’s still in desperate need of a bath before bedtime so Ali and Ashlyn decide to tackle it together, wanting to spend as much time with the birthday girl as they can. 

 

“Last bath before you’re a year old,” Ali coos, kissing Maddie’s cheek before setting her into the tub. 

 

“Did you have a good birthday party?” Ashlyn asks excitedly. 

 

Maddie looks right at Ashlyn and babbles in response. 

 

“No way,” Ashlyn exclaims, using the little cup on the edge of the tub to wet Maddie’s dark hair. “You turn a whole year old tomorrow and Mommy and I are probably going to cry because you’re not a baby anymore.”

 

“Mama,” Maddie says in response, pointing to Ali at Ashlyn’s reference to her. 

 

“Good girl,” Ali coos. “Well she does know which one is which,” she says, looking at Ashlyn. “She just can’t differentiate how she says it yet.”

 

“She’s too smart, I can’t handle it,” Ashlyn replies, dumping another cup of warm water over Maddie’s head. 

 

The hardest part of giving Maddie baths is actually when it comes time to drain the tub and take her out. She can’t protest the end of bathtime with words yet so she often starts crying as soon as they take her out to dry her off. Tonight is particularly difficult as she was playing with a bunch of her new water toys that party guests gifted to her. She wails in protest and kicks her legs a little, trying to get Ashlyn to put her back in the warm water. 

 

“I know, baby, I understand,” Ashlyn says gently as she wraps Maddie in her elephant towel. “I don’t like getting out of the water either.” She rubs her back, equal parts drying her off and calming her down. 

 

“Would you stop being so cute together?” Ali jokingly requests. She watches as Ashlyn expertly calms Maddie down, gently rubbing her back as she holds her in her arms, bouncing slightly.  

 

“Never,” Ashlyn vows. 

 

Luckily, the rest of bedtime goes smoothly as Ali dresses her in her brand new princess pajama set, a gift from Whitney. Just before they put her in her crib, they each smother her with extra kisses, getting in as many as they can before she officially turns one year old. They stand by her crib and watch as she falls asleep. 

 

“You made a beautiful baby,” Ashlyn comments, taking Ali’s hand and leading her out of Maddie’s room. 

 

Ali tugs on Ashlyn’s hand to stop her in her tracks, putting her hands on her hips. “We’ve done a good job raising her too.”

 

“She’s turning out to be a great kid,” Ashlyn agrees. She takes Ali’s hand again, taking her towards their bedroom. When they were younger, their night would just be getting started, staying up until dawn. But now they have Maddie and every minute of sleep is precious so instead of spending their nights singing and dancing along to the radio or sneaking out for a late night swim, they spend their evenings talking and cuddling (and having sex) in bed, falling asleep well before midnight most nights. They stay up a little later tonight, talking about all of the emotions they’re feeling about Maddie’s birthday.

 

“Can you believe that exactly a year ago, you were waking me up because you were having contractions?” Ashlyn asks. 

 

“Honestly, I can’t,” Ali replies. “It seems like so long ago but also like it was just yesterday. I swear I still have nightmares about contractions sometimes.”

 

Ashlyn laughs. “I can’t even imagine.”

 

“I’d do it again though--I want to do it again,” Ali says. “Not right now, obviously, but in another year or two.”

 

“I’d be good with that,” Ashlyn replies, grinning at the thought of adding to their family, at the thought of going into the whole process knowing she’s also the baby’s mom instead of taking on that title later.

 

“Guess we have to get married in the next two years then,” Ali says, grinning. 

 

“You tricked me,” Ashlyn gasps. 

 

Ali rolls her eyes. “As if you wouldn’t have married me when we were like seven.”

 

“I think I basically did.”

 

“You did,” Ali agrees, kissing Ashlyn. “All it took was for me to smile at you and I had you locked down forever.”

 

Ashlyn doesn’t protest, knowing Ali is right. Instead, she cuddles into Ali’s chest, exhausted from their early morning party preparations. “Love you,” she mumbles sleepily. 

 

“Love you more.”

 

The next morning, they walk into Maddie’s room singing happy birthday when they hear her babbling on the baby monitor. She grins and stands at her crib railing at her moms’ excited voices, waiting for them to come pick her up. Ali gets to her first, lifting her high in the air before bringing her back down and peppering her face with kisses. “Happy birthday, sweet girl,” she coos. 

 

“My turn,” Ashlyn exclaims, reaching out to take Maddie. 

 

“Good, you can change her diaper then while I make breakfast,” Ali says, giving Maddie one last kiss before passing her to Ashlyn’s waiting arms and leaving the room. 

 

“Happy birthday, sweetheart,” Ashlyn coos. “I love you so much and you make Mommy and I so proud every day.” She looks down, gaze stopping on Maddie’s big brown eyes looking back at her with so much innocence and love, like Ashlyn was the one who put the stars in the sky and the fish in the ocean. Maddie can’t vocalize her love yet (they've tried to get her to say ‘love you’ to no avail) but she shows it in ways that make Ashlyn’s heart melt. The way she looks at them, different from the way she looks at anyone else; the way she snuggles to both of her chests, wanting to be as close to them as they want to be to her; the way she reaches for them when she’s crying, wanting to be comforted by whichever mom is closest at the time. 

 

A year ago at this exact moment, Ashlyn was holding her best friend’s newborn daughter and had to remind herself that the baby in her arms wasn’t hers after having been there every step of the way. Someday, she thought, Ali would find someone who deserves their love and that she would have to make way for this new parent, the one who Maddie would refer to as her mom or dad, while she always remained Ashlyn--the type of honorary aunt that you’re never quite sure if you’re actually related to or not. Now she holds that same baby in her arms, although she’s not really a baby anymore, thinking how lucky she is that  _ she’s  _ the one who won Ali and Madeline’s hearts. Thinking back, it probably wasn’t going to happen any other way--they’ve been on the course to this exact spot ever since they met in first grade--but her worries at the time about stepping aside one day were legitimate and heart breaking (she’s never told Ali this but she spent a few nights crying herself to sleep over those worries both before and after Maddie was born). “I love you, my baby girl,” she says, puckering up for a kiss and smiling when Maddie does the same. 

 

“Must’ve been a really poopy diaper,” Ali comments from the stove when they finally make their way downstairs. 

 

“Nah, just spending some time with our birthday girl,” Ashlyn replies, strapping Maddie into her high chair as Ali pulls the first batch of pancakes (Maddie’s favorite) off of the stove. Ashlyn puts one of them onto Maddie’s Finding Dory plate and cuts them into small pieces. “Did you put sprinkles in these?” she asks, spotting different colored dots as she cuts. 

 

“Had to make them special for the birthday girl, duh,” Ali replies, pouring the next batch. 

 

“Duh,” Ashlyn exaggerates. 

 

“Duh,” Maddie echos from her high chair, trying to match her moms’ sassy tones. 

 

Ali and Ashlyn’s eyes go wide, turning to look at Maddie before meeting eyes with each other. They want to laugh so bad, their attempts to fight against it making it worse until they finally can’t help it. “Oh, we’re in trouble,” Ashlyn says, wiping tears from her eyes when they’re done laughing. 

 

Ali turns her attention back to the stove so the pancakes don’t burn. “Honey, we’ve been in trouble from the moment the test came back positive.”

 

Ashlyn groans as she sets Maddie’s plate in front of her. “The sprinkles are adorable, though,” she says. She walks back towards Ali, wrapping her arms around her waist from behind. 

 

Ali hums, putting one hand on top of Ashlyn’s while using the other to turn off the stove. “I definitely think sprinkle pancakes should be a birthday tradition from now on.”

 

“Deal,” Ashlyn replies, placing a gentle kiss to Ali’s shoulder before letting go. 

 

Since they had a party the day before, they decide to spend a fairly quiet day together by going to the park, pushing Maddie in the swings for nearly an hour before she finally seems sleepy enough for them to go home for her nap. In the evening, they go to Ali’s parents for a smaller birthday celebration, complete with yet another cake.

 

\---

 

Maddie finally takes her first steps a week after her first birthday. After so many months of her moms trying to coax her into walking by sitting on the floor a few feet apart, Maddie finally decides to take her first steps when Ashlyn is at the grocery store and Ali’s folding laundry, only half paying attention. When Ali first sees it, she literally drops the towel she was folding and crouches down onto the ground in front of Maddie who had taken a few unassisted steps in between the coffee table and couch. 

 

“Come here,” Ali encourages, reaching her arms out for Maddie to walk to her. Her steps are slow and unsteady, still trying to figure her own legs out, but she manages to walk the few steps right into Ali’s arms without falling. “My big girl,” Ali exclaims, hugging her tight. “Mama’s going to be so sad she missed that,” she says, a little sad that Ashlyn wasn’t there to see Maddie’s first steps. When she hears her car in the driveway a few minutes later, she gets an idea, picking Maddie up from where she’s now playing with her toys on the floor. She carries her until they’re five or so feet from the front door before setting her down, holding her hand so she doesn’t go anywhere. When she sees the doorknob turn, she lets go of Maddie’s hands. “Go see Mama,” she exclaims. 

 

The look on Ashlyn’s face when she sees Maddie taking a few unsteady steps is the very definition of priceless. Ali laughs as Ashlyn quickly sets the bags of groceries down on the floor, putting out her arms to encourage Maddie to keep walking towards her. She doesn’t quite make it, falling back on her butt with just a few steps left to go, but Ali and Ashlyn praise her nonetheless. “When did that happen?” Ashlyn asks, picking the grocery bags up off of the floor when Maddie gets bored and crawls away to play with her toys again. 

 

“Just a few minutes ago,” Ali replies, smiling proudly. 

 

“Man, we have to start upping our cardio workouts if we’re going to keep up with her now,” Ashlyn quips. 

 

“Luckily there are more of us than there are of her.”

 

“For now.”

 

“For now,” Ali agrees, grinning. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Favorite parts or lines? Who do you think will propose?  
> Thanks for reading!


	14. Chapter 14

Once Maddie starts walking, there’s no stopping her. No matter what time of day it is, she always seems busy, moving from toy to toy and getting into anything she can get her hands on. The only time she seems to sit still is at the beach and when she watches her moms work in the kitchen, as if she’s learning how to cook from her high chair. On Mother’s Day, Ali uses Maddie’s budding interest in watching them cook to her advantage as she prepares breakfast to bring to Ashlyn in bed. It’s not their first Mother’s Day since Maddie’s birth but it’s their first since they started dating and Ali wants to start Ashlyn’s first official one out right. At fifteen months old, Maddie can’t really help cook yet but she quietly plays with toys in her high chair as Ali whips up french toast and bacon, two of Ashlyn’s favorites. She grabs Maddie out of her chair when it’s ready, settling her onto her hip and carefully carrying the plate with her free hand. Luckily, she’d left the door cracked open when she got out of bed that morning so she’s able to swing it open with her hip, finding Ashlyn just waking up.

 

“Say ‘Mama get up’,” Ali says to Maddie, who’s already smiling at the sight of Ashlyn.

 

“Mama up,” Maddie echos.

 

“I’m up, I’m up,” Ashlyn replies, sitting up against the headboards as Ali drops Maddie down onto the bed. “What a lovely wakeup call,” she says, looking between her girlfriend and daughter.

 

“Have to celebrate your first official Mother’s Day in style,” Ali says, setting the plate on the nightstand and leaning in for a kiss. As has become their norm, they’re interrupted by Maddie who wants Ashlyn’s attention after spending the entire night in her crib.

 

“Okay, okay,” Ashlyn says, turning away from Ali to pull Maddie in for kisses of her own. “Did you and Mommy make me breakfast?” She squeezes Maddie one last time, turning to settle her in the middle of the bed between her and Ali.

 

“Yes, we did,” Ali replies, handing the plate to Ashlyn. “And there’s enough to share so don’t hog it all.”

 

Ashlyn laughs. “And here I thought it was all for me.”

 

“Hey, it’s my day too,” Ali protests.

 

“That it is,” Ashlyn agrees. “You didn’t have to do this.”

 

“Of course I did--you did it for me last year.”

 

Ashlyn hums, remembering the lengths she went to in order to make sure that Ali’s first Mother’s Day was special. She’d gotten up early and taken the baby monitor downstairs with her so Ali wouldn’t wake up when Maddie did. She cleaned the entire house in what felt like record time, even folding and quietly putting away laundry before making Ali breakfast in bed. Then she’d given Ali gift certificates to get her hair and nails done, watching Maddie by herself for a few hours while Ali got pampered. Although it doesn’t feel like it, this year is her own first Mother’s Day and she genuinely appreciates Ali and Maddie treating her like this, especially since it’s Ali’s day too. They trade the plate back and forth between bites, carefully bringing small forkfuls of french toast to Maddie’s mouth in between bites of their own.

 

“Sorry it was nothing fancy,” Ali says when they’re done.

 

“Honey,” Ashlyn begins, kissing her lips and tasting the syrup still lingering on them. “I have you and Maddie here with me and that’s all I need.”

 

“It’s a perfect match then because you’re all we need,” Ali cheeses.

 

After they clean everything up from breakfast, they spend the first part of the day with Ashlyn’s family before heading to Deb and Ken’s for dinner and beach time--Ashlyn’s major request for the day. They don’t go in the water too long, instead deciding to play with Maddie in the sand, teaching her all their techniques for sandcastle building (Maddie is more interested in destroying the freshly built castles, laughing as she knocks them over).

 

“So how would you rate your first Mother’s Day so far?” Deb asks Ashlyn when Ali takes Maddie inside for a pre-dinner bath.

 

“I could never ask for anything more,” Ashlyn replies honestly.

 

“I always knew the two of you would get together someday,” Deb declares, lifting her sunglasses from her eyes to the top of her head so she can fully meet Ashlyn’s eyes.

 

“There’s no way,” Ashlyn replies.

 

“Okay, maybe not _always,_ ” Deb admits. “But I did start to have a feeling around the time you you were in middle school.”

 

“How could you tell?”

 

Deb shrugs. “I know my kids--and that includes you. There was always just something different about the way you two interacted with each other from the way you interacted with anyone else.  I can’t describe it but it was special.” She pauses, gently squeezing Ashlyn’s hand. “You’re perfect for them. It’s always been clear that you’re perfect for Ali, even if it was just as friends, but you’re perfect for Maddie too. That girl adores you.”

 

“The feeling is mutual,” Ashlyn replies, smiling. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for either one of them.”

 

“Of course there isn’t,” Deb says. “You already dropped everything just to be there for them.”

 

“Best decision I ever made,” Ashlyn declares, hearing Ken call out that dinner is ready. She helps Deb out of the sand, making their way back towards the house. She’s always felt lucky to have the Kriegers in her life, knowing that their home was a safe place she could retreat to when times were tough at her own home. They’ve always treated her like their own, even taking her on a majority of their family vacations throughout the years, and she’s glad that nothing has changed since she and Ali started dating. They could’ve gone into protective mode, asking if it was wise for them to start something that would affect Maddie’s life no matter the outcome. Part of her had expected this reaction when they first told them about their relationship. They’ve always questioned Ali’s (and Kyle’s) dating choices, always wanting to make sure that she was with someone who makes her happy and treats her well. But they’d never said anything but positive things about their relationship and Ashlyn knows it’s because she’s already spent her entire life treating Ali well and making her happy. She pauses just before they walk inside. “Hey, Deb,” she says.

 

Deb turns around. “Yes?”

 

“Thanks for always welcoming me as part of the family. It’s always been comforting to know that you and Ken support me as much as my own family.”

 

“Sweetheart, you’ve always been part of the family. Just like you always looked at Maddie like she’s your own, even before she was, we’ve always looked at you like our own--it just took a little longer for it to become a reality.”

 

\---

 

Summer brings lots of family time, including their first family vacation on a trip to the Smoky Mountains, a favorite Krieger (and Ashlyn) vacation spot when they were younger. It’s a ten hour drive from Satellite Beach to Gatlinburg so they decide to split the driving over two days, not wanting to keep Maddie cooped up in the car for long periods of time.

 

“Man, these road trips were much less stressful when we were kids,” Ashlyn notes as they unload everything they’ll need for their midpoint overnight stay.

 

“Yeah, we just terrorized my parents--now we’re the ones getting terrorized.”

 

“There’s only one of her so just imagine what it’s going to be like when we have more kids,” Ashlyn replies, wheeling their overnight bag into the hotel while Ali carries Madeline and the diaper bag.

 

“We’re totally going to turn into my dad asking to play the quiet game every few miles.”

 

Ashlyn laughs. “All three of us were _terrible_ at that game. It’s not even like one or two of us couldn’t do it, it was all of us.”

 

“Well, I’m sure we’re in for loads of payback.”

 

Other than the hours on end in the car, the trip itself is actually wonderful. It’s the perfect time to reminisce about their vacation memories while making new ones with Maddie and enjoying the change of scenery.

 

“We really should take on your parents’ tradition of yearly vacations,” Ashlyn muses one night as they sit on their hotel balcony overlooking a mountain stream. “Those are some of my favorite memories from our childhood.”

 

“Mine too,” Ali agrees.

 

\---

 

Ever since they started dating, Ali has known that she wants to ask Ashlyn to marry her one day. They spoke about it at length just a month after they started dating but decided to wait a little while to take that final step. With Madeline involved, they didn’t want to rush into anything too soon (although nothing they do can be considered ‘soon’ after 20 years of friendship), agreeing that one step at a time was best not only for their relationship but for Maddie as well. When Ashlyn takes a weekend trip to Orlando to visit friends in early August, about a month before their first anniversary, Ali decides that it’s the perfect time to start planning her proposal. Just minutes after Ashlyn pulls out of the driveway, Ali sits with Maddie on her lap, holding her so they’re facing each other.

 

“How would you like it if I asked Mama to marry me?” She asks, brushing Maddie’s messy hair away from her face.

 

“Mama bye bye,” Maddie says, pointing to the door.

 

“Yeah, Mama went bye bye for the weekend,” Ali replies. “But when she gets back do you want me to ask her to marry me?” She smiles, knowing Maddie has no idea what she’s saying but wanting to include her in the decision nonetheless. “I think you like that idea,” she says, tickling Maddie’s belly. She cuddles Maddie close for a few seconds--taking any opportunity she has for some extra loving when Maddie’s not running around--before carrying her upstairs to get ready for a trip to the jewelry store, texting her mom to meet her there. Before she can even set her phone down, it starts ringing in her hand, her mom’s contact photo appearing on screen.

 

“Hello, mom,” Ali greets, amazed at her quick reaction time.

 

“Alex, are you doing what I think you’re doing?” Deb asks.

 

Ali laughs, hearing the excitement in her mom’s voice. “Yes, I am,” she replies. “Did you want to help?”

 

“Of course,” Deb exclaims. “How about I just meet you at your house so we can drive together?”

 

“Works for me. See you soon.”

 

They go to three different jewelry stores in town looking for the perfect ring for Ashlyn before Ali finally finds one that will not only fit her personal style but will also fit her finger (most of the ones she would’ve liked were men’s rings that were much too large). She was actually about to give up her hope of finding anything today when she saw the diamond band in the back of one of the cases, instantly gasping at how perfect it is.

 

The salesperson, Julie (based on her nametag), sees the trio at the counter and makes her way over. “Looking for someone special?” she asks.

 

“Yeah, I’m looking for my girlfriend,” Ali answers, grinning.

 

“Ohhh, are you proposing?” Julie questions excitedly.

 

“I am,” Ali confirms. “Can I see that one?” she asks, pointing to the ring that caught her attention.

 

“Sure thing,” Julie replies, unlocking the case and pulling out the ring in question. “This one has one carat total weight of diamonds channel set into 14 karat white gold,” she explains, handing the ring over to Ali.

 

“Ashlyn would love this,” Ali says, slipping the ring onto her own finger to show Deb and Maddie. “What do you think, Mads, do you think Mama would like this one?” she coos. Maddie smiles, reaching out to Ali’s hand, trying to grab at the ring.

 

“Maddie likes it,” Deb comments, adjusting her grip on her granddaughter as she grabs at the ring on Ali’s finger.

 

“I don’t think she knows the difference between this and a piece of tin foil,” Ali jokes, reaching to take Maddie from Deb, kissing her forehead.

 

“How long have you and your girlfriend been together?” Julie asks.

 

“Just about a year,” Ali replies. “But we’ve been best friends since we were six so it feels like much longer. She actually moved in to help me with this one,” she explains, bouncing Maddie on her hip, “and things went from there.”

 

“That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard,” Julie exclaims, grinning. “That’s a beautiful ring.”

 

Ali holds her hand out, imagining the ring on Ashlyn’s finger. “I’ll take it--I don’t even want to know the price.”

 

“How long have you been saving?” Deb asks as Julie goes to the register, Ali’s credit card and the ring in hand.

 

“Pretty much since our first date,” Ali answers. They watch quietly as Julie swipes Ali’s card and carefully puts the ring box in a small tissue paper lined bag.

 

“Here you go,” Julie says brightly, handing over the bag and Ali’s credit card. “Good luck!”

 

“Thank you so much,” Ali replies, grinning.

 

It’s about time for Maddie’s nap so at Ali’s suggestion, they decide to head back to Deb and Ken’s so Ken can keep an eye on Maddie while Ali and Deb plan things for the proposal. In all the different ways she’s thought about proposing, their history as friends is something she wants to highlight. It’s not something she really thinks she can put into words, especially if she starts getting emotional during it so she decides to let the memories speak for themselves by making a timeline that will lead Ashlyn right to her and Maddie. They sort through boxes and boxes of pictures at Deb and Ken’s, searching for the right moments to use, and invite Tammye over to help the cause, asking her to bring any pictures she has. The three of them spend hours finding and selecting photos, picking a mixture of big moments--the first day they met, prom, graduations, Maddie’s birth, their first date, etc.--and smaller but no less important moments--eating popsicles with missing teeth, playing house, several pictures sitting on the beach together, soccer tournaments, and all the little things that helped shape their relationship into what it is today.

 

“I’m so lucky you’re an expert scrapbooker and crafter,” Ali notes as she, Deb, and Tammye explore the craft store, gathering all the materials they’ll need for the project.

 

“I always knew it would come in handy one day,” Deb replies.

 

Ali and Tammye don’t say much throughout the shopping trip, offering opinions when need be but otherwise letting Deb do her thing. Ali’s never been one for crafting so she trusts that her mom knows what she’s doing and that it will all turn out beautifully. They almost blow right by the frames department when Ali stops dead in her tracks, coming up with an idea.

 

“Look at that,” she says, pointing to a beautiful wood frame that’s painted gold (one of the accent colors they plan on using for the timeline. “What if we take the back out and have me and Maddie sit behind it so when she makes her way to the end it’ll be like we’re part of the timeline.”

 

“I love that idea,” Deb replies. “You’ll have to wear cute matching outfits.”

 

“ _Please,_ do you really think I would propose without wearing a cute outfit? I swear, it’s like you don’t know me at all,” Ali sasses. “But yes to the matching.”

 

“I can’t take you anywhere,” Deb replies, laughing.

 

The frame ends up costing a surprising amount but Ali doesn’t want to cut any corners for her proposal, especially not after all Ashlyn has done for her in the last few years. Besides, she really has been saving up for this moment since their first date and although the ring was expensive, it didn’t use up all of the money she’d set aside so she can spring for the frame without feeling guilty (and it’ll look beautiful in the living room with a picture from the proposal when it’s over).

 

When they walk by the aisle with chalkboards, Tammye presents an idea of her own. “What if you and Maddie each hold a sign while you sit behind the frame?”

 

“Oh, yes,” Ali exclaims. “I love that idea and then I won’t have to say too much because I’ll probably be crying by that point.”

 

The spend the entire afternoon working on the project, stopping just before dinner time. Deb and Ken offer for Tammye to stay for dinner but she politely declines, promising that she’ll be back the next day to help finish everything.

 

“What do you think so far, baby?” Ali asks, holding Maddie far enough away from their workspace at the island so she can’t destroy anything. “I swear, she better say yes after all this work.” She pauses, looking down at the rapidly growing toddler, realizing that she and Ashlyn might not even be together if it weren’t for her. After all, Maddie was the reason Ashlyn decided to move in so who knows when or if they would have gotten together if Ali had never gotten pregnant. It’s a scenario Ali doesn’t like to think about for many reasons--not even wanting to imagine life without Maddie or without ever getting to this point with Ashlyn--but it does almost make her laugh as she thinks about Maddie’s mere existence helped end years and years of pining. “My little wingbaby,” she declares, kissing Maddie’s forehead.

 

The next two days are spent putting the final touches on the timeline as Ali anxiously awaits Ashlyn’s return from Orlando.

 

“So where are you thinking of putting this?” Deb asks on Sunday morning, just a few hours before Ashlyn is set to return home.

 

“Well, I was thinking about texting her to meet us here for dinner or something and then having it strung up out by the beach to lead her to the boulders down by the Smiths’ old house.”

 

“Where you used to sit when you would sneak out together?” Deb asks wisely.

 

“How did you--”

 

“Darling, dad and I knew you two always went down there.”

 

Ali’s eyes go wide, despite the fact that she knows she can no longer get in trouble for sneaking out over ten years ago. “I thought you never knew,” she marvels. “You never yelled at us or anything.”

 

Deb shrugs. “It was pretty obvious when the house went dead silent around the same time every night. Neither one of you ever had it in you to be quiet let alone both of you at the same time so we looked outside one night and saw you down there.”

 

“And you just let us do it?”

 

“You never seemed to be doing anything wrong and we kept an eye on you so it wasn’t really enough of a big deal to say anything as long as you didn’t go anywhere else,” Deb explains.

 

“We kissed right in front of those boulders when we were fifteen,” Ali says. Deb looks confused so she continues, “I was nervous about kissing because I heard that Nick liked me so I asked Ashlyn to show me how. She was actually my first kiss.”

 

“How did I not know about this?” Deb demands.

 

“It scared me that I liked it so I never really told anyone about it--I didn't even tell Kyle until years later.”

 

“Well that sounds like the perfect spot to propose,” Deb replies, smiling.

 

Plan in mind, they send Ken to the hardware store to get everything they’ll need to hang the timeline up on the beach while Ali takes a quick trip to the store to pick matching outfits for her and Maddie. After browsing for a little bit, she decides to keep it simple by getting matching grey cotton dresses. Hers is a solid grey tank dress while Maddie’s has short sleeves and pink and purple hearts printed all over it. She’s just about to checkout when Ashlyn’s picture flashes on her phone screen, signaling an incoming call.

 

“Hey,” Ali greets brightly.

 

“Just wanted to let you know I’ll be getting on the road in about an hour or so,” Ashlyn says. She pauses and Ali can hear Whitney talking in the background. “I miss you guys,” she says.

 

“We miss you too,” Ali replies. “Even more than we missed you when we FaceTimed with you last night.”

 

“I’ve been gone too long,” Ashlyn grumbles. “She’s probably already talking in full sentences.”

 

“She’s actually already away at college,” Ali deadpans.

 

“Please don’t even joke about that,” Ashlyn whines.

 

“Sorry. Enjoy the rest of your time with your friends and you’ll be home before you know it. Besides, she’s napping right now so you’re not missing much at the moment.”

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you too,” Ali responds, grinning. “Oh, I forgot to tell you that my parents want us over for dinner tonight so it might be easier if you meet us there.”

 

“Works for me,” Ashlyn agrees. “See you in a few hours.”

 

The confirmation that Ashlyn will be home in just over two hours sends Ali into a tizzy. She hurriedly purchases the dresses and makes her way back to her parents’, hoping that they have enough time to get everything ready before Ashlyn gets back. If it comes down to it, she decides, she can call Ashlyn at the last second and say that she forgot to tell her that they’re actually taking them out to a nice restaurant which will likely force Ashlyn to stop at home to change, giving them at least another half hour to get everything ready.  Luckily, her fears are unfounded as she returns to her parents’ house to find the timeline almost completed--Deb carefully using clothespins to secure the pictures in chronological order on the twine strung across the beach while Ken strings up fairy lights a few feet ahead of her.

 

“Oh my gosh,” Ali breathes when she watches everything come together. “I didn’t know we were doing lights.”

 

“That was your dad’s idea,” Deb says, meticulously placing the last few photos of their recent vacation.

 

Ali smiles, walking towards where Ken has the large frame at the end set up (they’d had to build a base for it since it was too heavy to hang from the twine. “Thanks for all your help,” she says, tapping him on the shoulder to give him a hug.

 

“It’s what I’m here for,” Ken replies. “Now you should probably go get yourself and Maddie ready.”

 

Ali nods, taking a few steps back towards the house. “Oh,” she says, stopping in her tracks and turning back around. “Kyle said for you and mom to FaceTime him as soon as we come back to the house after.”

 

“Got it,” Ken replies, turning his attention back to setting up the frame at the perfect angle.

 

Ali can’t seem to wipe the smile off of her face (not that she’d want to) as she goes into the house to get ready. Maddie is still sleeping so she decides to get herself ready first, knowing that the longer she waits to put Maddie’s dress on, the less chance there is for it to get dirty before Ashlyn gets back. She takes her time getting ready, wanting everything to be just right for such a big moment in their lives. Ashlyn texts her that she’s getting on the road just as she’s about to put mascara on, causing Ali’s had to shake so much that she has to pause to calm her nerves. Logically, she knows that there’s no way Ashlyn will turn her down so she’s more nervous about the enormity of the whole thing--a similar combination of excitement and nerves as when she found out she was pregnant. That was a much, much bigger life change, however, and she knows that the only real change in getting married is that Ashlyn will finally be able to adopt Maddie, to have their relationship as mother and daughter recognized by the state. The thought of Ashlyn finally, legally becoming Maddie’s mom nearly makes Ali cry as she finishes her makeup. She knows Maddie will never know the difference (although they do plan on being honest with her) and that knowledge says everything she needs to know about how wonderful Ashlyn has been throughout Maddie’s life so far. As if on cue, Ali hears Maddie crying down the hall almost the second she zips her makeup bag.

 

“Hi, baby,” she coos, entering her childhood bedroom (now basically Maddie’s second room). Maddie stops crying as soon as she sees Ali, reaching her arms up for her to take her out of the crib. They’d recently begun potty training so Ali quickly grabs a fresh pull-up and leads Maddie into the bathroom across the hall, helping her use the little potty seat. “Now let’s go get you dressed so I can propose to Mama, how does that sound?”

 

“Mama home,” Maddie says, repeating Ali’s reassuring words from the last few days that Ashlyn will be home soon.

 

“Yes, Mama’s coming home right now,” Ali responds brightly, picking Maddie up and carrying her back into the bedroom to get her dressed.

 

As soon as Maddie is in her dress, Ali carries her downstairs and down to the beach, where her parents are keeping an eye on everything for her. She smiles at how beautiful everything looks, passing Maddie off to Deb so she can call Ashlyn to find out her estimated time of arrival.

 

“Everything okay?” Ashlyn asks when she answers her phone.

 

“Yeah, just wondering how much longer,” Ali replies. “Maddie and I miss you,” she adds. Ashlyn doesn’t respond right away and Ali knows she’s smiling.

 

“I’m about ten minutes away and I can’t wait to see you,” Ashlyn finally replies.

 

“We can’t wait to see you either,” Ali says, smiling as they say goodbye. The next ten minutes feels like one of the longest waits of her life, second only to waiting for Maddie to be born (which, to be fair, was actually longer). As much as she wants to wait for Ashlyn from the boulders so she doesn’t have to worry about getting into place when she arrives, she knows that neither she nor Maddie can sit still long enough at this point so she paces around the backyard, ring box in the pocket of her dress, while Ken waits by the front door, ready to call them when Ashlyn pulls into the driveway. When he comes running to the backdoor to tell them she’s here, Ali can’t help but laugh at her dad’s excitement.

 

“You’ve got this,” Deb assures, helping Ali and Maddie get settled onto the boulders with their chalkboard signs in hand. “Love you.”

 

“Love you too,” Ali replies as Deb quickly makes her way back to the house, making it back to the back patio before Ali hears Ken tell Ashlyn that Ali and Maddie are by the beach. “Ready, Maddie?” she asks, looking towards her parents’ house as Ashlyn finally comes into view, coming to a stop as she sees the pictures hanging.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> excited to hear what you think about this one! I'm sure you can guess what the next chapter is ;) 
> 
> As always: favorite parts or lines?


	15. proposal

The quiet drive back to Satellite Beach after a long, loud weekend with friends gives Ashlyn the chance to reflect on the last few days. She’s missed her Orlando based friends since she moved back home, always feeling like their visits were just a little too short. This weekend gave her a chance to reconnect with those friends but she had a bit of a difficult time leaving Maddie and Ali for so long, despite the fact that they made video calls several times throughout the weekend. As soon as she sees the sign for Satellite Beach, she breathes a sigh of relief, accepting Ali’s phone call and promising that she’ll be home in just ten minutes. 

 

When she pulls into Deb and Ken’s driveway, she half expects Ali and Maddie to be waiting for her on the front porch. She’s a little disappointed when she sees that they’re not and quickly makes her way into the house, ready to see her family. The house is strangely quiet when she walks through the front door and she knows before Ken even tells her that Ali and Maddie are out back, leaving her shoes on as she makes her way through the house to the back door. 

 

She sees the fairy lights first, before she even leaves the back patio, greeting Deb on her way through. Finally, when she gets to the beach, she sees a photo from the first day she and Ali met hanging from a clothespin, her hand instantly flying to her mouth as she realizes what’s happening. She wants to look farther down the line, to get a glimpse of Ali and Maddie waiting for her, but she forces herself to stay focused on the pictures hanging in front of her as she takes a visual journey through their lives so far. 

 

She’s seen many of the pictures before, remembering when they were taken, but some she doesn’t remember at all--like the one from their very first sleepover. They were only a week into first grade when Ali asked her if she wanted to stay at her house on Saturday night which Ashlyn gladly accepted. The photo from that night is a candid of them making up their secret handshake (which Ashlyn still remembers). This particular shot captured them laughing, their heads bent close together as they giggled--their hair in matching pigtails. 

 

Their shared childhood seamlessly turns into shared awkward adolescent years followed by teen years and then one of the hardest pictures of them all: the day they said goodbye when Ali moved away to school. They’re holding each other close in the photo, as if they were trying to permanently fuse their bodies together. Saying goodbye to Ali that day with the knowledge that they might never live in the same city again was one of the hardest things she’s ever had to do. She wishes she could go back to that version of herself to tell her that everything will be better than okay. To tell herself to live her life, yes, but not to lose hope over her crush on her best friend. Things will work out when they’re meant to work out, she’d say, and you’ll be happier than you ever could have imagined.

 

As she gets farther down the line, memories become clearer and clearer, especially as she makes it to ones since Ali got pregnant. She pauses at each photo, taking a little extra time in front of the picture of the three of them from when Maddie was born, presumably taken by Kyle. They’re not looking at the camera in the picture, both are looking down at Madeline wrapped up in Ashlyn’s arms, their faces reflecting a mixture of pure exhaustion, love, and joy. Her next step closer to the end brings her to the picture of Maddie sleeping on her chest and then a picture from her and Ali’s first official date right after. She’s somehow managed to keep her tears at bay so far but when she sees the picture of her and Maddie from their Christmas cards, she can’t stop them from rolling down her cheeks as she thinks back to how uncertain everything felt back then, still learning and accepting that she and Ali were equals in Maddie’s life. The most recent photos, from their family vacation, bring a smile to her face, both at the memories and at the fact that she can now turn to look at Ali and Madeline. 

 

The sight of her family sitting where she and Ali spent so much time during their teen years is enough to take her breath away and that’s before she realizes that they’re sitting behind a large frame, as if they’re pictures themselves. Then, finally, she sees the little chalkboard signs in their hands--Ali’s says ‘will you marry me?’ and Maddie’s says ‘will you (officially) be my Mama?’, both in Ali’s handwriting. 

 

“Ash,” Ali whispers, at a loss for words herself. Maddie’s largely unaffected by the emotional moment, mostly just excited to see Ashlyn after a weekend apart so she wriggles out of Ali’s arms as Ashlyn comes around to the other side of the frame, reaching for Ashlyn who scoops her up as soon as she’s within reach. “I love you,” Ali says, carefully setting her own sign aside as she gets off of the rock, kneeling on one knee in front of Ashlyn (and Maddie). “Will you marry me?” she asks, pulling the ring out of her pocket and opening the box. 

 

“Yes,” Ashlyn breathes, nodding. Ali smiles, carefully slipping the ring on Ashlyn’s finger before standing, putting her arms around Ashlyn and Madeline. She kisses Ashlyn on the lips, a little more chaste than she otherwise would if it weren’t for Maddie’s presence. When they break apart, Ashlyn smiles and turns her attention to Maddie. “And yes to you too, my baby girl,” she says, dissolving into tears again as she presses a kiss to her dark hair. 

 

“My turn,” Ali demands, kissing Ashlyn again. They stay there in the sand for a few minutes, sneaking kisses while they play with Maddie, thankful that they’re all together again after a few days apart. After a while, Deb and Ken come outside, congratulating them and taking pictures of the little family and the timeline that they had all worked so hard to prepare (Ken and Deb are going to take it down after they go home). They all make their way back towards the house together, Ashlyn carrying Maddie in one arm and holding Ali’s hand with the other as they stop at certain pictures, reminiscing about their lives together. 

 

“Only took me twenty years to lock this down,” Ashlyn quips as they make it to the first few pictures. 

 

Ali laughs, squeezing Ashlyn’s hand. “Yeah, let’s not take twenty more years to get married now,” she requests. 

 

“Definitely not,” Ashlyn replies. They spend a few more minutes on the sand together while Deb and Ken go inside to take the roast out of the oven. “I can’t believe we’re engaged,” she marvels, looking at her ring. 

 

“I know,” Ali replies. “Now we have a wedding to plan.”

 

“Too bad we don’t have a flower girl,” Ashlyn jokes, tickling Maddie’s side. 

 

“Yeah, I guess we’ll have to find one,” Ali replies, nuzzling into Ashlyn’s neck.

 

Ashlen smiles, feeling so complete with Ali and Maddie in her arms. “How about you take a personal day tomorrow so we can celebrate and go pick out your ring,” she suggests, knowing that Ali won’t want to wait too long before getting a ring of her own. 

 

“How’d you know I would want to help pick it out?” Ali asks. 

 

“Because I know you and even though I know I could pick one out by myself, I also know that it’s something you’ll want to have input on, especially since it won’t be a surprise that you’re getting one.”

 

“You know me too well,” Ali replies, grinning. 

 

They return home shortly after dinner, Deb and Ken being incredibly understanding that they want to get home, especially since Ashlyn’s been away for a few days. Maddie is a little too sleepy for a bath so they get her ready for bed right away, deciding that her bath can wait until the morning. Ali’s about to put her in her crib when Ashlyn stops her, asking if she can sleep in their bed tonight, wanting to cuddle with her two favorite girls. “Don’t worry,” she whispers, following Ali as she carries a very sleepy Maddie down to their room, “we’ll find somewhere to celebrate by ourselves a little before we fall asleep with her”. 

 

“Deal,” Ali replies, putting Maddie in the middle of their bed and climbing in next to her while Ashlyn makes her way to the other side of the bed. 

 

“I missed you,” Ashlyn whispers, brushing Maddie’s hair out of her face. “And I can’t wait to officially be your Mama.”

 

Maddie falls asleep quickly, comforted by the presence of both of her moms. When they’re sure she’s out for the night, they quietly leave the room, closing the door behind them. “Hello, fiancée,” Ali husks, pressing her body into Ashlyn’s once they’re in the hall. 

 

“Hello, wife-to-be,” Ashlyn replies, grinning. “That was some proposal.”

 

Ali smiles, standing on her tiptoes for a kiss. “It was so much fun going through all those pictures--I think we could’ve made that thing a mile long if we wanted.” She kisses her again, never able to get enough. “Oh, your mom helped us with it too.”

 

“I didn't know she was the crafting type,” Ashlyn comments. “I didn’t know you were the crafting type either.”

 

“I will have you know that we got very good at using hot glue guns after Deb Deb showed us how,” Ali defends. 

 

“Thank you for including her; I’m sure it meant a lot for her to be able to help with something like that.”

 

“Of course we included her, she’s your mom and Maddie’s grandma,” Ali replies gently, moving one of her hands to rest on Ashlyn’s chest. “Now, if I remember correctly, we were supposed to be celebrating our engagement,” she husks, moving to kiss under Ashlyn’s ear. 

 

“Come on,” Ashlyn says, pulling away from Ali to lead her into her old bedroom. 

 

“I love you,” Ali whispers, connecting their lips as soon as the door is shut. Ashlyn smiles into the kiss but doesn’t respond, instead using her mouth to show how she feels as they kiss passionately. After a few minutes, they’re both breathless and flushed as they quickly remove their clothes. As soon as they’re free of every stitch of clothing, Ali gently pushes Ashlyn down onto the bed, immediately climbing on top of her. “You’re so gorgeous,” she breathes, grinding a little as she straddles Ashlyn’s waist. “And you’re all mine forever.”

 

“Forever,” Ashlyn confirms, hands resting on Ali’s moving hips, gripping her tightly. 

 

Ali leans forward, capturing Ashlyn’s lips in another deep kiss. Their chests brush against one another as they kiss, turning them on even more as they make out. When they break apart to breathe, Ali takes the opportunity to move lower, trailing kisses down Ashlyn’s neck all the way to her breasts. 

 

“Alex, please,” Ashlyn whines as Ali teases her nipples. 

 

“Someone’s a little eager,” Ali quips, stopping Ashlyn as she tries to touch herself in desperation. 

 

“It’s been--” Ashlyn starts to protest, losing her train of thought when Ali continues trailing open mouthed kisses down her torso, inching closer and closer to where Ashlyn needs her. It’s only been a few days--Ashlyn was late leaving for Orlando after Ali woke her up with morning sex, insisting that she needed to send her off right--but both women are hungry to take things further, a combination of missing each other over the last few days and to celebrate their engagement. 

 

“I love you,” Ali declares, breath hot on Ashlyn’s lower stomach as Ashlyn bends her legs at the knees, spreading out so Ali can work. “Don’t have to tell me twice,” Ali says, scooching lower on the bed and getting into a comfortable position. 

 

Ashlyn lets out a loud moan at the first swipe of Ali’s tongue followed by a whine when Ali pulls back, glaring at her. “Sorry,” Ashlyn apologizes, resolving herself to be quieter. 

 

“I will stop,” Ali warns. Ashlyn nods understandingly, twisting her hands into the sheets as Ali presses her tongue to her again--slowly at first, as if she’s afraid Ashlyn will make too much noise. When she seems certain that Ashlyn can control herself, she moves her tongue more forcefully, head held in place by Ashlyn’s thighs. She doesn’t want Ashlyn to come too quickly so when she’s getting close to the edge, she pauses for a second, smirking as Ashlyn groans in frustration. She doesn’t leave her hanging for too long, however, pausing for just long enough to have to work her back towards the edge before finally making her come, getting nearly as much pleasure from it as Ashlyn does. 

 

“I think getting engaged has somehow made you even better at sex,” Ashlyn comments, still a little breathless, as Ali makes her way back up to the head of the bed. 

 

“I think you just missed me,” Ali counters. “But either way, I’ll take it.”

 

Ashlyn smiles, rolling over and pinning Ali’s arms above her head. She kisses her deeply, tasting herself on Ali’s tongue. Ali uses her tongue to battle for some sort of dominance as Ashlyn keeps her pinned to the bed, clearly ready to take charge after her own pleasure. Ashlyn teases Ali for what feels like hours on end, even forced to pause a few times herself to warn Ali about being too loud. Just as Ali is about to beg for her to stop teasing, Ashlyn finally goes down on her, working quickly to push her over the edge, smirking when it becomes clear that her teasing paid off as Ali comes after a few swipes of her tongue. She reverently kisses her way back up Ali’s body, worshipping every single inch of her, especially her stomach that she worked so hard to get back into pre-baby shape. 

 

“You’re never going to stop kissing my belly the next time I’m pregnant, are you?” Ali asks, sensing the slight difference in Ashlyn’s kisses over that area. 

 

“Did I ever stop the first time?” Ashlyn questions, eliciting a soft laugh from Ali. 

 

“No, not really,” Ali admits. “But I think you held back a little last time--I certainly can’t imagine you doing that now that you have free range over my body.”

 

“I don’t think I’ll be able to keep my hands off of you, I had a hard enough time doing that with Maddie.”

 

“Well, if it’s anything like when I was pregnant with her, there’s very little chance that I’ll want you to keep your hands off of me. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ll be begging for it,” Ali replies, gently running her hands through Ashlyn’s hair when she rest her head on the pillow next to her. 

 

“Can we have another baby now?” Ashlyn asks excitedly, eyes wide. 

 

Ali laughs. “Wedding first then baby. No way I’m going to be pregnant in my wedding dress and I don’t want to wait long enough for the baby to be born  _ and  _ to get back in shape after.”

 

“We should get married after school gets out next summer,” Ashlyn suggests. “That way we can go on a nice honeymoon and I won’t have to take time off of work.”

 

“That sounds perfect,” Ali replies. “Plus, then we can try for another baby in late summer or early fall so it’ll be here by the following summer.” 

 

“Listen to you, miss Type A,” Ashlyn jokes, rolling out of bed to dodge Ali’s playful swat. She starts to get dressed, deciding that her bra and underwear will be enough until they can put pajamas on back in their room. “Damn, getting dressed and leaving after sex kind of feels like a one night stand,” she jokes, gathering her other clothes from the floor to drop into their hamper. 

 

“Do you...know what a one night stand is?” Ali replies, laughing. “Because getting dressed to go cuddle with our daughter is definitely not that.”

 

“Oh, no, I meant that I was just gonna leave and not come back,” Ashlyn jokes, instantly regretting her words when Ali’s face changes from enjoyment at their repartee to hurt in a split second. 

 

“Why do you have to say shit like that?”

 

“Alex, I didn’t mean--”

 

“Stop, okay?” Ali replies tersely, crossing her arms. 

 

“Alex,” Ashlyn says gently, coming around to the other side of the bed to take Ali’s hands in her own, knowing that going for a hug would be pushing it too far at the moment. “I really wasn’t trying to bring that up again. It was a stupid joke and I should’ve known better.”

 

“After what happened you really thought that was the best thing to joke about?” Ali demands. 

 

“I--no,” Ashlyn replies. “It was stupid, I was just running my mouth as usual. I’m sorry.”

 

Ali takes a deep breath, willing herself not to cry as tears form in her eyes. “It’s not him, you know? It just hurts sometimes because I look at the beautiful, smart, kind, and funny kid she’s becoming and I cannot fathom that anyone wouldn’t want to know her--especially someone who helped make her.” She pauses, tears flowing freely now as Ashlyn moves to hug her. “She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me and sometimes it still hurts that someone who should’ve been an important person in her life left without a second thought.”

 

“I know, honey,” Ashlyn whispers, rubbing Ali’s back to calm her down (a favorite trick of hers that she quickly found out works on Maddie too). “But I’m always going to be here and I’m going to adopt her. I’m going to be here no matter what.”

 

Ali sniffles as her tears subside. “I can’t thank you enough for being her mom and for jumping into it without hesitation,” she says. 

 

“I can’t thank you enough for letting me be her mom,” Ashlyn replies, pulling back from the hug to wipe stray tears away from Ali’s cheeks. “Now let’s go cuddle with that beautiful, smart, kind, and funny kid--I’ve missed her too much.”

 

Ali nods, grabbing her discarded dress off of the floor, handing it to Ashlyn to put in the hamper with her clothes. They get ready for bed as quietly as possible, knowing how difficult it is to get Maddie back to sleep once she’s been woken up. Ashlyn climbs into bed first, curling up next to Maddie as close as she can, wrapping one arm around the toddler. “I love you,” she whispers, kissing Maddie’s cheek. “I’m always going to be right here.”

 

Ali joins them in bed a few minutes later, sandwiching Maddie in between her and Ashlyn. “My two loves,” she sighs. 

 

\---

 

Ali wakes up first the next morning, rolling over to find Ashlyn and Maddie still sleeping, Maddie’s arm draped across Ashlyn’s face, stifling a laugh at the sight. Moving as little as possible, she reaches for her phone on the night stand, snapping a picture of the two before carefully getting out of bed to get breakfast ready. Ashlyn joins her in the kitchen a few minutes later, carrying Maddie on her hip. 

 

“Oh, I love being home,” Ashlyn sighs, bringing Maddie over to where Ali is standing by the stove, kissing them both. 

 

“I think we love it even more than you do,” Ali replies, leaning in for another kiss. “Look at how she’s clinging to you this morning.”

 

Ashlyn smiles, looking down at Maddie holding onto her neck and resting her head on her shoulder. “What do you think the chances are that she’ll let me put her in the booster seat for breakfast?” she asks. 

 

“Less than one percent,” Ali replies, plating Ashlyn’s omelette. 

 

Ashlyn doesn’t even try to put Madeline in her booster seat, both needing to be close to each other. Instead, she takes the omelette to the table, sitting with Maddie in her lap to eat. “So you want to go look at rings after we’re done eating?” Ashlyn asks as Ali sits down with her own omelette. 

 

“Obviously,” Ali replies, grinning. “I was too excited to sleep in; it almost felt like Christmas.”

 

“Just wait until our actual wedding day then.”

 

“I’m pretty sure I won’t sleep at all the night before.”

 

“You have to sleep the night before so we can stay up all night after,” Ashlyn replies suggestively, mindful of the little ears in the room. 

 

“Mmmm,” Ali hums and Ashlyn knows it’s not because of the omelette. “I can’t wait. Plus, a honeymoon with just the two of us so we can be as loud as we want without scarring my mini-me for life.”

 

Ashlyn smirks, running through a million inappropriate replies in her mind but remaining silent. They finish up with breakfast quickly so they can go ring shopping and get back home in time for Maddie’s nap. Ali decides that she wants to go back to the same place she got Ashlyn’s ring from so she navigates them to the small jewelry store on the other side of town. 

 

“Oh, you’re back!” Julie exclaims when she sees Ali enter the store first, Ashlyn following, holding Maddie’s hand. “I take it things went well?”

 

“She said ‘yes’,” Ali confirms, beaming as Ashlyn and Maddie join her at the engagement ring case. “So now we need a ring for me.”

 

Julie smiles, sliding open the case so she’s ready when Ali sees something she likes, catching a glimpse of Ashlyn’s ring as she does so. “That ring is beautiful on you,” she compliments. 

 

“Isn’t it?” Ashlyn asks, smiling at Ali. “She did a great job.”

 

“Okay, okay, back to me,” Ali sasses, looking back at the case full of rings. “Which one would you pick for me?” she asks as she and Ashlyn scan their eyes over the case. 

 

“That one,” Ashlyn says, pointing to a bridal set. The engagement ring has a decent sized cushion cut diamond in the center and three smaller diamonds on each side while the wedding ring kind of resembles the ring she gave her with Maddie’s birthstone in it except it has diamonds instead of amethyst. “Or that one,” she adds, pointing to a princess cut solitaire with a similar wedding band. 

 

“Those are the ones I like too,” Ali replies. “Can we see those?”

 

“Absolutely,” Julie replies, pulling the cushion cut one out of the case first. 

 

“This is gorgeous,” Ali exclaims, slipping the set onto her ring finger. She holds her hand out, imagining herself wearing these rings everyday for the rest of her life. “But I like this one too,” she says, carefully slipping the rings off so she can try on the other set. “Ash, what should I do?” she whines. 

 

“Well, you have to pick one,” Ashlyn replies. 

 

“Can’t I just get both and change it up based on how I feel?” Ali asks, eliciting a laugh from Ashlyn. 

 

“They’re not purses, Al,” Ashlyn replies, picking Maddie up so she doesn’t get fingerprints all over the front of the glass case. 

 

They end up going over the pros and cons of each of them, even adding a third possibility to the mix when Ali decided to look at the next case over. Ashlyn doesn’t rush Ali, knowing how important this decision is but Maddie does start to get a little grumpy towards the end, clearly ready for her nap. Finally, both of them and Julie agree that the cushion cut is the perfect compromise between the princess cut one and the round diamond in the third option. Ashlyn tries to convince Ali to wait until they get home so she can cutely present it to her and slip it onto her finger but Ali has her heart set on wearing it out of the shop, promising that they can pretend later. 

 

“We’re really engaged,” Ali marvels, staring at her ring on the way back home. 

 

“We are,” Ashlyn replies, grinning. “We’re getting married--I can’t get over it.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo what'd you think of the proposal? Hope it lived up to expectations ;)


	16. planning

The last three weeks of Ashlyn’s summer vacation are spent trying to finalize as many wedding plans as possible during such a short time frame. As much as they would love to get married on the beach, especially on the one they grew up on, they realize that summer in Florida isn’t conducive to doing much of anything outside, much less asking their guests to sit out in the hot sun wearing semi-formal wear. Their searches are further complicated by the fact that nearly everything is already booked for June and July of the following year. After a few days of expanding their searches to almost any coastal venue within two hours of Satellite Beach, their wedding planner, Lauren, calls to tell them that their top choice had a cancellation for July 6, 2019 and that they are next on the waiting list. 

 

“We’ll take it,” Ashlyn exclaims over the speakerphone as Ali jumps out of her chair and fist pumps. 

 

“I thought you would,” Lauren replies. “Can you meet me there Saturday at ten for a walkthrough?”

 

“That sounds perfect,” Ashlyn answers, rolling her eyes at Ali who is now dancing by herself in the middle of the kitchen. “Thank you so much, see you Saturday.”

 

“See you saturday,” Lauren replies. 

 

Ashlyn ends the call, excitedly making her way towards Ali and kissing her deeply. 

 

“I can’t believe I get to marry the love of my life in my dream venue,” Ali exclaims, resting her hand on Ashlyn’s chest when they finally break their kiss. 

 

“On July 6th,” Ashlyn adds, smiling. “Sounds like a wonderful day to get married.”

 

“Any day would be a wonderful day to marry you,” Ali cheeses, kissing Ashlyn’s dimple. 

 

“I love you,” Ashlyn says, pulling Ali close. 

 

“I love you too,” Ali replies. They’re quiet for a moment, letting it sink in that they officially have a date set for their wedding. “Should we bring Maddie on Saturday?”

 

“I’m not sure, what do you think?” Ashlyn asks. “It might be kind of fun to include her but this might be something we need to give our full attention to, you know?”

 

Ali nods her agreement. “I’m sure there will be other things we can include her on but I agree. Besides, your mom is long overdue for a day with her so I’m sure she’d be thrilled to have some bonding time with her while we look at the venue.”

 

“I’ll text her tonight,” Ashlyn replies, leaning in for another kiss. “Do you also feel like a massive weight has been lifted now that we have a venue and date?”

 

“ _ Yes _ ,” Ali sighs. “Like, we can’t really plan much of anything without a venue or date so now it’ll make it easier to get everything else done.” She pauses, looking into Ashlyn’s eyes. “You know the worst part about marrying you?” 

 

“You mean best thing?” Ashlyn counters, looking as confused as she feels. 

 

Ali shakes her head. “The worst part is that I always thought you would be my maid of honor but now I have to pick someone else because you’re going to be busy that day,” she notes, eliciting a laugh from Ashlyn. 

 

“You poor thing,” Ashlyn replies dramatically. “I’ll be busy marrying you and can’t be your maid of honor how will you ever survive?”

 

“I guess I’ll find a way,” Ali sighs, nuzzling into Ashlyn’s chest. 

 

\---

 

On Saturday, they drop Maddie off at Tammye’s on their way to the venue which is just thirty minutes away from home. They meet up with Lauren outside of the massive hotel on the water and introduce themselves to Amy, the venue’s event coordinator. When they were looking for venues, this site seemed to combine all of their wishes--the ceremony site is semi-outdoor, covered with a roof to protect everyone from the sun and has beautiful arches along where three of the walls should be (the fourth side is connected to the hotel). The reception site is in one of the hotel’s ballrooms so they and their guests will be able to retreat into the air conditioning as soon as the short ceremony is over.  

 

“This is even more perfect than I thought it would be,” Ali comments as they walk through the ceremony site. “I love that you can see the ocean but we don’t have to be in the sun.”

 

They continue to walk around the space for a bit, pausing when they make it to where they’ll stand for the ceremony, the exact spot where they’ll be pronounced wives in just ten and a half months. The enormity of it all leaves them both at a loss for words, instead just squeezing each other’s hands tighter and smiling. 

 

The reception space is almost as beautiful as the ceremony space, a perfectly soft and romantic ballroom that is currently half setup to give them an idea of what everything will look like for their wedding. 

 

“So as you can see,” Amy being as they enter the ballroom, “there’s a large dance floor in the center of the room and tables surrounding it. The tables each seat eight, which should help when you make your seating charts.” She stops walking, pointing to three bars at the back of the room. “You can choose to have up to three open bars as part of your package for no additional charge or we can remove them.”

 

“We’ll take all three,” Ashlyn answers quickly, although she knows Amy wasn’t waiting for a response. 

 

“Got it,” Amy laughs, making a note on her clipboard, Lauren doing the same for their records. Their bar preference noted, she continues walking, leading them right out onto the dancefloor. 

 

Ashlyn grips Ali’s hand, surprising her by spinning her around, testing out the floor. “Oh, yeah, this will work perfectly,” she says, grinning as Ali’s face flushes a little. “We’ll have to talk to our DJ about maybe having two first dances,” she suggests. “One for just us and one with Maddie,” she clarifies, seeing Ali’s confused expression. 

 

“So we’ll have our first dance as wives and our first dance as a family?” Ali asks, grinning at the thoughtful suggestion. “Maddie is our daughter,” she adds, turning towards Amy. 

 

“How old is she? I have a two boys, ages two and five,” Amy replies. 

 

“She’s eighteen months,” Ali answers, pulling out her phone to show Amy the picture of the three of them on the night of their engagement. 

 

“Wow,” Amy exclaims, “She looks like your clone.”

 

“She gets her good looks from Mommy,” Ashlyn says, playfully bumping Ali’s hip. 

 

“It’s not all good though because you can’t say no to her just like you can’t say no to me,” Ali quips, bumping Ashlyn back. 

 

“The first dance thing actually brings up my next note which is that we have several DJs on our preferred vendor list which I’ll give to you when we’re done here. You can use your own DJ if you want but those are ones we highly recommend. I’m sure whoever you pick will be able to work with you to create a really special moment for both of you and your daughter.”

 

“She’s going to look so cute in her little dress,” Ashlyn says. They haven’t even begun looking at what they’re going to wear yet but she knows that Maddie will look adorable in whatever they choose and she imagines sharing her first dance with Ali and Maddie while Ali, Amy, and Lauren discuss centerpieces. 

 

When they put their deposit down, Amy explains that part of their package is that they’ll get a code for 10% off of rooms for them and their guests, in case people want to stay at the hotel. Ali and Ashlyn decide to book a suite for their wedding night, but decide to wait on booking anything for the night before, agreeing that since it’s so close to home that they don’t  _ need  _ to stay the night before so it’ll depend on their finances as they get closer to the wedding. 

 

“I can’t wait to marry you there,” Ali says, gently rubbing the back of Ashlyn’s hand with her thumb as they walk to the car. 

 

“I wish it was tomorrow,” Ashlyn replies. 

 

“Bite your tongue, I don’t even have a dress yet.”

 

Ashlyn smiles, dropping Ali’s hand as they get to the car. “You could just show up naked and I’d be fine with that,” she teases, climbing into the driver’s side. “Actually, I would  _ love  _ that--I think you should do it.”

 

“Yeah but what’s the fun in that if there’s nothing for you to take off of me after?”

 

Ashlyn sighs, trying to keep her attention on pulling out of the parking lot without hitting anyone as Ali suggestively runs her hands on the inside of her thigh. “No distracting the driver,” she reprimands. 

 

“I changed my mind, I don’t want to go to lunch. I want you to take me home so I can make a meal out of you.” 

 

“Alex,” Ashlyn whines at Ali’s sudden switch in tactic. 

 

“And we’ll have the house to ourselves so we can be as loud as we want,” Ali sighs dreamily, as if she’s describing a beautiful sunset or a puppy she got to pet. She looks out the window for a moment, playing up the dreaminess of her statement before turning to look at Ashlyn, the effect of her words clearly visible as Ashlyn’s cheeks go red. “How you doing over there?” 

 

“You are evil,” Ashlyn growls, keeping her eyes on the road. She shifts her legs a little and Ali doesn’t need to ask why, instead deciding to up the ante. 

 

“First I’m gonna kiss your neck,” Ali says, smirking as her beautiful, confident fiancée goes even more red. “Then I’m going to pay special attention to your breasts and leave hickies all over the place so everyone knows you’re mine. Then I’m going to torture you until you’re certain that a nice breeze could make you come.”

 

“You’re already torturing me,” Ashlyn grumbles. 

 

“Good.”

 

Ali makes good on her first promise the second the walk in the door, pushing Ashlyn up against the wall and kissing her neck. When it becomes too much and not enough at the same time, she takes Ashlyn’s hand, leading her right towards the couch, wanting to take full advantage of being home alone. 

 

“I love you,” Ashlyn says as Ali holds herself up on her hands, hovering above her. 

 

“I love you too,” Ali replies, gently stroking Ashlyn’s cheek. “And I can’t wait to finally marry you. She leans down, capturing Ashlyn’s lips in a kiss. They move slowly at first, savoring one another but soon becomes heated until they’re both out of breath and Ashlyn can no longer stop herself from letting her hands roam underneath Ali’s clothing, needing to feel her skin. “Patience,” she whispers, lips brushing against Ashlyn’s. She kisses her again but this time, she’s the one who can’t stop her hands from roaming so she leans back a little, giving herself just enough room to tug Ashlyn’s shirt and bra over her head. She palms both of Ashlyn’s breasts, squeezing lightly.

 

“Alex,” Ashlyn groans, arching her back to meet Ali’s hands. 

 

Ali smirks, loving the effect she has on her fiancée with just a few simple touches. She studies Ashlyn’s face, finding a unique mixture of lust, pleasure, love, and desperation. It’s one of her favorite sights in the world, seeing the effect she has not only on Ashlyn’s body but on Ashlyn’s very soul--the same soul she’s fallen for in so many ways over the years. She scoots farther down Ashlyn’s body, moving until she’s straddling her upper thighs and leans forward, taking one of her nipples in between her teeth, biting gently. 

 

With all of Ali’s teasing since they got in the car, it doesn’t take long for Ashlyn to get to the point of begging. Ali continues to tease her, trying to see how long she can draw things out, finally giving Ashlyn what she needs when she sees tears forming in Ashlyn’s eyes as her need for release becomes too great. She continues stroking her with her tongue and fingers even as Ashlyn’s orgasm subsides, to repent for her merciless teasing, but Ashlyn stops her, already too sensitive to take any more. 

 

“I’m gonna need a full hour before I can move again,” Ashlyn declares, taking Ali into her arms when she lays down on top her her.

 

“Well we have about thirty minutes before we’re supposed to get Madeline from your mom’s,” Ali replies, gently tracing lines between the constellation of freckles on Ashlyn’s upper chest. 

 

“You did that on purpose,” Ashlyn exclaims. “Teasing me until I thought I would black out and not leaving me time to do the same to you.”

 

Ali kisses Ashlyn’s cheek. “Maybe,” she smirks. “Don’t worry, teasing you got me pretty worked up too. Can you move yet?”

 

“Just come up here,” Ashlyn says, stifling a laugh when Ali eagerly straddles her face, holding herself up on the arm of the couch. 

 

Ali grinds down on Ashlyn’s tongue, using the power this position provides to get what she needs quickly, knowing they won’t have that much time to get themselves looking presentable to pick up Maddie so Tammye can prepare for her book club meeting. “I love that position,” she raves moments after coming with a loud moan. She climbs off of Ashlyn, stopping for a second to kneel in front of the couch. 

 

“Of course you do, you have most of the control,” Ashlyn replies, rolling her eyes dramatically. 

 

“You love it too,” Ali says, leaning forward to kiss Ashlyn deeply, tasting herself on Ashlyn’s tongue and lips. She hums into the kiss, breaking apart just before things go any further. “We have to go.”

 

“I swear, one of these days we’ll actually get to cuddle after sex instead of having somewhere else we need to be,” Ashlyn grumbles, letting Ali help her off of the couch. 

 

“Honey, we’re moms, that’s probably not going to happen for about twenty years.”

 

Ashlyn groans, knowing Ali is probably right especially since they plan on having more kids. “Well, we’ll have to make the most of it when we go on our honeymoon,” she says. 

 

“Yes, please” Ali replies, slipping her clothes back on. 

 

\---

 

Once school starts again and they’re both working full time, planning their wedding becomes much more complicated. They can’t do much during the week between working and spending time together as a family and a couple when they get home so most of the planning gets done on the weekends. The venue has a maximum capacity of 120 but they both agree that they’d like to get the number down to about 100 total, wanting to keep it to their closest friends and family. With that in mind, they spend an entire weekend in September going over potential guest lists, determining who should or should not be invited. With a final guest list in mind, they set out on ordering invitations, getting into a rather heated debate between a mostly black one with white text (Ashlyn’s preference) and a white one with the illusion of black lace on the top and bottom and black text (Ali’s preference) while Maddie plays on the floor. 

 

“We’re not getting anywhere,” Ali groans after ten minutes of back and forth debate over the merits of their personal pick. 

 

“We’re not,” Ashlyn agrees, running her hand through her hair. 

 

“I can’t even turn into bridezilla on you and say we have to go with mine because you’re a bride too,” Ali grumbles. “But I think mine is better and we should go with mine.”

 

“Maybe we should look again, see if there’s something we can actually agree on.”

 

Ali nods, clicking back to the tab with all the different invitation options available thanks to the expansiveness of the internet. The one thing they have agreed on is that they want their invitations to be mostly black and white, partly because they haven’t settled on wedding colors yet and partly because they like the simplicity of black and white. They scroll through pages and pages of different options, nothing catching their attention for too long, before finally deciding to take a break. Well, it’s less of a choice and more like Maddie getting frustrated with the lack of attention and reaching her arms up for Ali to take her onto her lap. “Will you take this?” Ali asks, passing the laptop to Ashlyn. “Hi, sweetheart,” she coos, squeezing Maddie tightly. She kisses her cheek over and over again, smiling as Madeline starts giggling. 

 

“Mommy, no. No, no,” Maddie squeals as Ali starts blowing raspberries. 

 

Ashlyn smiles, quickly closing the laptop and setting it aside. “Don’t worry, Mama will save you!” She tickles Ali’s side for a split second before reaching over and taking Maddie from her arms, acting as if she’s just completed a very serious rescue mission. “I saved you!” she exclaims, pulling Maddie to her chest. 

 

“Saved you,” Maddie repeats, grinning. 

 

“That too, baby,” Ashlyn replies, kissing the top of Madeline’s head. She bounces Maddie on her lap for a few minutes, making faces back and forth with the nineteen month old who loves to mimic everything she and Ali say and do. She can’t quite make some of the same faces yet which adds to the enjoyment Ashlyn and Ali get out of the whole thing as they watch Maddie try to contort her face as Ashlyn does. “Oh, I love you,” Ashlyn declares, kissing Maddie’s cheek when they’ve run through a bunch of different funny faces. “Here, go back to Mommy and help us pick wedding invitations.” 

 

“I promise I’ll be nice this time, no more kiss monster” Ali says, taking Maddie from Ashlyn. They scroll through a few more pages of invitations with Maddie getting more and more restless to get up and play before one finally catches Ali’s eye. “That one,” she says, pointing to a cream colored invitation with black and white anemones with olive green leaves along the top and bottom. 

 

“I like that one too,” Ashlyn replies, clicking on the link to get a better look at it. “It would be cool if you used that type of flower in your bouquet,” she notes. 

 

“You think we should do black and white for our colors then?” Ali asks, loving the idea of matching her bouquet flowers to the ones on the invitations. “Do you think that would work with our location being by the beach?”

 

“I think so,” Ashlyn replies. “We’re not actually out in the sand and the venue is really nice so it would look good in there. Maybe if we make it mostly white with black accents and some green foliage in the centerpieces? I think that would look really nice and it would make it feel a little softer since we will be near the beach.” 

 

“I love it,” Ali replies, grinning as she meets Ashlyn’s eyes. “I’m going to text that invitation design to Lauren and see what she thinks about that plan.”

 

Lauren texts back within minutes, writing that she loves the idea and that it’s absolutely a color scheme they can work with. When Ali reads the text aloud, both women breathe a sigh of relief at having made two major decisions in one day. There’s still so much to do, so much to plan, but they’re beginning to feel as if everything is coming together and decide to spend the rest of their Sunday relaxing and playing with Madeline for a bit of a mental break from all the planning they’ve been doing. Despite not agreeing on certain minor details (like what invitation to get), they’ve been pretty relaxed through the whole planning process so far. They’ve already had to plan and make room in their lives for a baby so compared to that, planning a wedding seems easier than deciding what to have for dinner--as long as they keep things in perspective.

 

“I love watching her learn new things everyday,” Ashlyn notes as Maddie sits on her lap and plays with her Leapfrog stuffed puppy that teaches her different things based on what paw she squeezes. She’s currently obsessed with the paw that makes the dog make different animal sounds, which she’s supposed to guess. She still needs a little help identifying the animals sometimes but she’s able to get most of them now. “Do it again,” Ashlyn encourages. 

 

Maddie squeezes the same paw, the room filling with a quacking sound. “Duck!” she exclaims, waiting for the puppy to confirm her answer. 

 

“Good job,” Ali exclaims, grinning at Maddie’s excited face after getting the answer right. “You’re so smart,” she says, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to her forehead. 

 

“You’ll be smarter than me and Mommy anyday now,” Ashlyn says, bouncing Maddie a little. She rests her chin on the crown of Madeline’s head, breathing in her scent, sighing contently at the mixture of her fruity baby shampoo and something that’s so uniquely her. 

 

Ali watches the two quietly as Maddie plays with her toy, Maddie completely unaffected by whatever emotions Ashlyn seems to be feeling. She takes Ashlyn’s hand, rubbing her thumb over Ashlyn’s engagement ring as she seems lost in thought. “You know,” Ali begins, finally breaking the silence between them, “I’m most excited to marry you so you can adopt her.” She pauses, realizing she might not have phrased that properly. “I mean, obviously I’m excited to marry you because you’re the love of my life,” she corrects, still gently spinning Ashlyn’s ring around her finger. “But the best part is that you’ll finally get to adopt her and that we’ll get to continue building our family and add even more Krieger-Harris babies or, wait, would it be Harris-Krieger?”

 

“I've actually been thinking about that a lot,” Ashlyn replies, turning to look at Ali as she pulls Madeline closer to her. “I think I want to take your last name,” she says.

 

Ali smiles. “Are you sure? We could hyphenate,” she offers.

 

“I know,” Ashlyn replies. “But I really like the idea of just having one last name, you know? I would be honored to take your and Maddie’s last name, especially since your parents have always been so great to me and treated me as part of the family. It just feels right to take your name. Besides, if we hyphenate, all three of us would have to change our names and I think it would be easier for me to just take yours and not worry about you and Maddie changing as well.” 

 

“I would absolutely love it if you took our name,” Ali says, leaning in to kiss Ashlyn. “Ashlyn Michelle Krieger,” she says, trying out the name. “I love it.”

 

“I love it too,” Ashlyn agrees. “I’ve already been mentally referring to myself like that just to try it out,” she confesses. 

 

“You have not.”

 

“I’m serious,” Ashlyn replies, blushing a little at her confession. She turns her attention for Madeline for a moment, praising her for saying ‘cow’ after the mooing sound. “It makes me happy to think about becoming a Krieger but I wanted to see if I could get used to it for a while before I said anything to you,” she explains, looking back to Ali. 

 

“You’re so cute,” Ali declares, “Maddie and I are the luckiest girls in the world.”

 

Ashlyn shakes her head, blonde ponytail swinging at the motion. “I’m the luckiest because I get two for the price of one.”

 

“Nope,” Ali replies. “We’re the luckiest because it takes a special person to want a package deal like Maddie and I are.”

 

“I guess it’s a draw then,” Ashlyn half concedes, laying her head on Ali’s shoulder. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Favorite parts? Anything you're excited to see as this story moves forward?


	17. Mickey

In early November, Ali finally gets to go wedding dress shopping--something she’s been looking forward to since even before she and Ashlyn got engaged. She, Deb, Madeline, Tammye, and Liz make a trip to Orlando for her appointment at a shop there, stopping for brunch before her appointment at noon. Ashlyn tags along for the ride and for brunch but doesn’t want to see Ali’s dress before their wedding (not that Ali would let her) so she meets up with Whitney, Heather, and a few other friends from the area to look at suits. 

 

“So what type of dress are you thinking?” Deb asks as their group (sans Ashlyn) enters the bridal shop. 

 

“Probably not strapless,” Ali says. She looks around the fairly expansive shop, not focusing on anything for too long until she spots Kyle sitting on one of the white leather couches across the room. When she’d booked the appointment, he told her that he wouldn’t be able to make it--November and December are some of his busiest months at work--so his presence is a wonderful surprise. “Are you serious?” she exclaims, running to hug her brother. “I thought you couldn’t come.”

 

“I couldn’t,” Kyle replies, lifting Ali off the ground with the force of his hug. “But you know I wouldn’t miss this for the world so I moved some things around.”

 

“I was so mad that you couldn’t make it but I didn’t want to make you feel bad about having to work,” Ali admits. “I never wanted to do this without you.”

 

“Well, you don’t have to,” Kyle replies, finally setting Ali down so he can greet Deb and Maddie. “Come to Uncle Kyle,” he coos, taking Madeline from Deb’s arms. “Oh, look at you, you’re so big now!”

 

“Ky,” Maddie says, putting her little hand out to feel Kyle’s beard. 

 

“Good girl,” Ali encourages. “You remember your Uncle Kyle, huh?” 

 

“We only FaceTime every other day,” Kyle says, bouncing Madeline on his hip as Ali’s consultant, Lisa, comes up to greet the group. Lisa shows them around the shop for a little bit before offering everyone cucumber water to begin the official consultation. 

 

“Tell me about your fiancée,” Lisa says, sitting on a chair across from the couch Ali and her party on the couch. 

 

Ali smiles, bouncing Maddie on her knee to keep her from getting too restless. “Her name is Ashlyn and we’ve been best friends since we were in first grade,” Ali begins, launching into the familiar story. Almost everyone reacts the same way when they hear the best friends to lovers tale, Maddie as the catalyst for them to live together which forced them to finally admit their feelings for one another (she skips over the Catherine part as she usually does with strangers, not wanting to get into too much detail) and Lisa reacts the same way, gushing that it’s one of the cutest love stories she’s ever heard, promising to find Ali a dress as beautiful as their story. 

 

Ali’s day to day style has always been rather simple and sporty, especially since Madeline was born and she’s needed her wardrobe to be more functional and practical than it was before. She does, however, always love getting dressed up and knows that there’s no better time to go a little more glam than on her wedding day. She’s not a huge fan of strapless dresses, having struggled with one at prom as she nervously tugged it up all night, annoyed that it wouldn’t stay put, so they focus their search on dresses with straps. Part of her, the part that used to religiously watch  _ Say Yes to the Dress,  _ wants to go for a ball gown style but the older, more simple (and money conscious) part of her wants to go for something more streamlined. She indulges both of those sides, choosing a mixture of different silhouettes to try on, figuring there’s no harm in seeing how things look on her. 

 

“Okay, this is a lot poofier than I thought,” she notes, trying on a cream colored ballgown first. She looks at herself in the mirror as Lisa ties the back of the corset. “And the more I look at it, the more I think it’s not really the right type of dress for my venue.”

 

“Do you want to show your family?” Lisa asks. 

 

“I think we can just move onto the next one,” Ali says. “I definitely think I want something smaller than this.” Lisa nods, helping her get out of the ballgown before selecting the next dress from the hook. “Okay, this is more like it,” she says as she slips into a mermaid style with tons of beading on the bodice. It’s one of the few they’ve selected without straps but Ali likes is more than she expected. “I definitely want to show them this one,” she adds. 

 

“You look beautiful,” Deb exclaims as soon as she sees Ali walking towards the little pedestal in front of the mirror. “Isn’t Mommy pretty?” she asks, drawing Maddie’s attention away from a children’s show on the iPad. 

 

“I’m not completely sold on the mermaid style but of course you look beautiful in anything,” Liz comments from her place on the couch. 

 

“I love the beading,” Kyle says with a tone that makes it clear there’s a caveat to follow. “But I agree about the mermaid thing.”

 

Ali looks in the mirror, seeing where they’re coming from. It’s undoubtedly a beautiful dress but she agrees that there are probably better silhouettes out there so she and Lisa make their way back to the room, determined to find the perfect dress. The next two dresses are complete misses, especially the empire waist one that reminds Ali of a lot of her old maternity clothes. Having depleted their current stash of dresses, Lisa makes a second trip through the showroom, keeping the pros and cons of each of the previous dresses in mind as she pulls new options. 

 

“This one is a little different from everything else we’ve tried so far and I think you might love it,” Lisa prefaces, returning to the room with five new dresses in her arms. She carefully hangs four of the dresses on the hooks around the wall, holding up the fifth one for Ali to see. 

 

“That is gorgeous,” Ali exclaims, watching as Lisa takes it off of the hanger so she can step into it. “Wow,” she breathes once Lisa zips the back for her. “Wow,” she repeats, nearly in tears as she looks at the dress from every angle. The top almost looks like a strapless illusion with a layer of tulle over a sweetheart neckline--giving her the look of a strapless dress without the worry. There’s a beaded belt around the waist before the skirt flares out a little in an a-line style. It’s flowy and romantic yet still somehow hugs her curves in all the right places and it’s  _ exactly  _ what she didn’t know she was looking for, the perfect combination of the ballgowns she dreamed about as a teen and her more streamlined style as an adult.  “I need to show my family this dress,” she declares. 

 

“I think they’re going to love it,” Lisa says as she leads the way out back towards the main part of the shop. 

 

As soon as Ali sees everyone’s reactions, she knows this is her dress. Kyle and Liz’s mouths drop open, speechless for the first time in recent memory, while Deb and Tammye immediately dab at their eye with tissues. Even Maddie seems to love it, leaving the iPad on the couch as she runs to hug Ali. “Oh, I hope her hands are clean,” Ali grimaces, knowing that her mom loves to give Maddie snacks to keep her on her best behavior. 

 

“They’re good,” Deb promises. “We’ve been using the iPad to keep her occupied--too many expensive dresses to ruin.”

 

“Ali, that dress is perfect on you,” Tammye comments as Ali bends down to reciprocate Maddie’s hug, taking all the affection she can get while Madeline is still little and gives it freely instead of rolling her eyes and stalking off to a corner with a cellphone in hand. 

 

“Al, if you don't buy that I'm not coming to the wedding,” Kyle warns. “Everything about it is perfect for you and Ashlyn is going to lose her mind when she sees you in that.”

 

Ali smirks, taking Maddie’s hand to keep her from running off through the store. “That's the goal,” she says. “Do you think Mommy looks pretty?” She asks, crouching down to Maddie’s eye level, using it as a bit of a test to see how practical the dress is. Sure, it's absolutely gorgeous but gorgeous is not enough by itself, not when she'll have a two and a half year old to keep up with during the reception. The dress moves well and she's able to crouch to Maddie’s level without too much difficulty so she knows that this is the dress for her. 

 

“Well,” Deb prods as Ali stands back up. “Are you going to get it?”

 

“This is definitely my dress,” Ali replies, grinning. Deb takes quite a few pictures of Ali in the dress, knowing Ali will want to look at them during the months she’ll have to wait for her size to come in. 

 

“Here’s my card,” Deb says, hanging over her credit card once Lisa takes Ali’s measurements to place the order. 

 

“Mom, no, you don’t have to,” Ali protests, digging into her own purse for her wallet. 

 

“Of course I don’t have to but I want to,” Deb replies. “Dad and I agreed that we would do this as soon as you two got engaged.”

 

“But--” Ali begins weakly, stopping herself when Deb puts her hand up. 

 

“Don’t argue with your mother,” Deb warns, her tone light. “We’re doing this for you and that’s the end of it.”

 

“I swear,” Ali mumbles under her breath as Deb goes to the register to sign the receipt. “Twenty-seven years old with my own daughter and she still pulls the mom card.”

 

“If it makes you feel any better, Mike just texted me that he wired some money into Ashlyn’s account for her suit,” Tammye offers, reading the text on her phone. “Apparently she fought him on it when he called to tell her.”

 

“You’re all too much,” Ali replies. “But we do really appreciate it,” she adds, seeing Deb come back over with a copy of the official order in hand. “Thanks, Mom,” she says, turning to embrace her. 

 

“You’re welcome, sweetheart,” Deb replies, holding the paper in one hand as she holds Ali close. “My mom paid for my dress and now I get to pay for yours and hopefully one day you’ll get to pay for Maddie’s dress or suit, whatever she decides to wear.”

 

“Oh gosh,” Ali laughs, looking at Maddie in Kyle’s arms. “I think Ash would love it if she ends up going for suits.” 

 

“They would be quite the little duo,” Deb agrees. “More so than they already are.”

 

“Speaking of,” Ali starts, looking at the clock on her phone, “we’re supposed to meet her at the ice cream shop across the street in five minutes.” 

 

They all thank Lisa for such wonderful service and make their way across the street to find Ashlyn already at one of the tables, garment bag draped over the back of the chair next to her. “Hey,” she says, standing to greet Ali with a kiss. “I’m so glad you made it,” she exclaims, hugging Kyle once Ali steps out of the way to decide what kind of ice cream she wants. 

 

“She was so surprised,” Kyle says as Maddie wriggles out of his arms and into Ashlyn’s. “I was so worried you’d accidentally tell her.”

 

“Hey, I can keep a secret,” Ashlyn protests. 

 

“Not from her though,” Kyle argues. 

 

“No, not from her. Well, unless it's for an amazing surprise like this.” 

 

\---

 

Ashlyn spends nearly the entire trip back home begging for details, any details, about Ali’s wedding dress. She starts big by asking what it looks like and is unsurprised when everyone refuses to tell her. By the time they get home that evening after dropping Liz off (Deb and Tammye drove together since they all wouldn’t fit in one car), she’d be happy just to know if it’s white, off-white, or blush--just a little something to help her picture what Ali will look like on their wedding day. Ali won’t budge, calling her out on her bluff when Ashlyn threatens to withhold sex. 

“You would never  _ ever  _ be able to withhold sex from me,” Ali notes, laughing at Ashlyn’s poorly thought out threat. 

 

Ashlyn sighs, not knowing how to counter Ali’s argument when she knows Ali is right. “I could if I really wanted to.”

 

Ali shakes her head, leaning in for a kiss. “Try it if you want but I promise I would spend the next eight months trying to break your resolve. And you know how competitive I am so there’s no way I would lose.”

 

“I just want to know how beautiful you’ll look.”

 

“You’ll see when I walk down the aisle,” Ali promises, trying to placate her with a kiss. 

 

“That’s too far away,” Ashlyn whines. 

 

Ali rolls her eyes. “I swear, you’re worse than Maddie begging for fruit snacks.”

 

“Maybe Maddie will tell me,” Ashlyn exclaims, acting like she’s going to jump out of bed to go ask her. 

 

“Good luck with that,” Ali laughs. “I think the only word she would know to describe it is ‘pretty’.”

 

“Damn, you’re right. And that won’t help me at all because I already know you’re pretty,” Ashlyn cheeses, leaning over to kiss Ali. 

 

“Such a sweet talker,” Ali mumbles against Ashlyn’s lips, taking the kiss deeper. 

 

\---

 

In January, wedding plans are put on the back burner for a few weeks as Ali and Ashlyn turn their attention towards planning Madeline’s second birthday party. They don’t plan on having a big party again this year, instead deciding to take a family trip to Orlando to see Disney on Ice followed by a trip to Disney World the next day. Maddie has always loved Mickey and Minnie and she’s recently started getting more and more into princess movies so it seems like the perfect time to take their first family trip to Disney. They’re actually amazed that she sits still (save for bathroom breaks) throughout the ice show, mesmerized by the action right in front of them. As much as going to the show is for Maddie, Ashlyn finds herself enjoying it immensely as well, especially the  _ Tangled _ portion which is partially an aerial act on the golden silks that represents Rapunzel's hair. Amazed at the talent on the ice, she excitedly turns to Ali and Maddie, finding Maddie sitting on Ali’s lap, both with matching expressions of excitement and wonder. They’re so wrapped up in the show that they don’t even notice Ashlyn taking a picture of them--mouths hanging open and eyes wide, looking so adorable that Ashlyn would swear her heart jumped into her throat at how much she loves them. She spends the rest of the act watching her girls, even taking a quick video of them as they watch quietly, finally getting caught by Ali. 

 

“What?” she asks, smiling as Ashlyn stops the recording and puts her phone down. 

 

“Nothing,” Ashlyn replies, dimpled grin lighting up her face. “You were just making the same facial expressions that whole time--it was adorable.”

 

Ali smiles, trying to keep hold of Maddie who wants to go down to the ice now that the show is over. “We’ll see them tomorrow,” she promises, gripping Maddie’s hand tightly as the stand to leave.

 

Maddie falls asleep almost as soon as she’s out of the bath later that night, seemingly exhausted after the excitement of the day. Meanwhile, Ali and Ashlyn lay on either side of her in the king sized bed in the hotel room, struggling to fall asleep over their excitement for their trip to Disney the next day. 

 

“Isn’t is supposed to be the other way around?” Ali asks quietly, watching Maddie sleep between them well after midnight. 

 

“Probably but we did the same thing on Christmas, remember?,” Ashlyn replies, watching the gently rise and fall of Maddie’s chest. “Besides, I’m definitely not going to complain about her getting a good night’s sleep before a long day--especially since she won’t get to nap tomorrow.”

 

“At this rate, we’re the ones who are going to need a nap,” Ali comments, rolling over onto her back. “Okay, I’m really going to fall asleep this time, I love you.”

 

“I love you too,” Ashlyn replies, draping an arm across Maddie and Ali’s chests, snuggling as close as she can. 

 

Ali’s alarm goes off early the next morning, even waking up Maddie who is usually their human alarm clock. “Potty,” Maddie mumbles sleepily as Ali and Ashlyn smother her with kisses. 

 

“Yes, princess,” Ashlyn replies, scooping her out of the bed and carrying her into the bathroom. She still wears pull-ups at night (Disney ones, naturally) and Ashlyn is pleasantly surprised to find her completely dry. “Ohhh, you’re such a big girl, you didn’t go potty in your pull-up,” Ashlyn exclaims, helping Maddie onto the toilet. 

 

They get ready in their hotel room as quickly as possible so they can make it down to the lobby to take advantage of the free breakfast before it’s all picked over. By the time they get to their car, Ali and Ashlyn are giddy with excitement which Madeline picks up on, although she doesn’t quite understand where they’re going. As soon as they’re in the gate, Ashlyn jogs over to the nearest stand to buy the three of them Mickey (for her) and Minnie (for Ali and Maddie) ears, securing hers on her head as she walks back to where Ali is waiting with Maddie in her stroller. 

 

“Mickey,” Maddie exclaims, pointing to Ashlyn’s new accessory. 

 

“And look what I got for you,” she says, producing the child sized Minnie headband from behind her back. 

 

Just as Ali’s about to take her phone out to get a selfie of the three of them wearing their new hats, a park photographer comes up and asks if they’d like her to take one so they can order prints. She’s about to say no, remembering how her parents generally turned those types of things down, preferring to save money and take their own pictures, but she figures they only get one first family trip to Disney so she agrees, holding Maddie on her hip in between her and Ashlyn as they smile for the camera. 

 

“Beautiful,” the photographer exclaims, handing Ali their PhotoPass card. She tells them all about how they can get their photos taken by professional park photographers at any point during their visit and can use the information on the card to order prints, t-shirts, keychains, coffee mugs, and pretty much any type of souvenir they want with their photos on it. 

 

“Okay, we’re definitely getting coffee mugs,” Ashlyn says after they thank the young woman and walk deeper into the park. 

 

“You’re such a mom,” Ali teases, playfully sticking her tongue out as she pushes the empty stroller after Maddie insisted on walking. 

 

“Laugh all you’ll want but we’ll see which one of us is laughing when I have a cool mug and you don’t,” Ashlyn retorts. 

 

Ali’s about to reply when she spots Mickey a few yards ahead of them, a swarm of people both young and old waiting to get a photo with the iconic character. “Do you see Mickey?” She asks excitedly, steering the stroller so they can join the line a park worker has begun to direct. 

 

“We’re going, baby, don’t worry,” Ashlyn says as Maddie tries to run towards Mickey. She has a firm grip on her hand, preventing her from getting lost in the crowds. Luckily for them, the line is relatively short so they don’t have to spend too long explaining to Maddie that they have to wait their turn and that all the other kids who have been waiting get to hug Mickey first. When they finally get to the front of the line, the look of wonder and excitement on Maddie’s face makes the entire weekend worth every penny. Ali, Ashlyn, and a park photographer all snap pictures of Maddie with one of her favorite characters. So much of their attention in recent months has been dedicated to planning their wedding and although they know they could’ve done something a little more money conscious for Madeline’s birthday, giving her this extra special attention is more important than the money they’ve spent. After they’ve gotten their pictures, they tell Maddie to say goodbye to Mickey. 

 

“Bye bye, Mickey,” Maddie says, kissing him on the cheek. Mickey immediately touches that spot on his cheek, acting bashful and flattered at the tiny peck. 

 

“Please tell me you got that on video,” Ashlyn says, glancing at Ali as her heart swells with love and pride for Maddie and her sweet nature. Although Maddie is just two years old, Ashlyn and Ali already see so many wonderful qualities in her personality. Like Ali, she’s often very determined to get what she wants which tests their willpower when she wants something she can’t have (like when she was determined to get a sip of Ali’s wine one night) but other times, it’s a quality they admire in her and they know that she’ll never let people walk all over her. Even at such a young age, she seems to have a keen sense of knowing how far is too far, toeing the line accordingly. She’s also incredibly empathetic, always able to read Ali and Ashlyn’s emotions. She can’t quite use words to comfort people yet but she always seems to know when her moms need a laugh during the stresses of wedding planning--often walking up to them and making some of the funny faces they’ve taught her--and when they need extra cuddles, although she doesn’t understand that they usually need the extra loving because of how quickly she’s growing up. 

 

“I got it,” Ali replies, showing Ashlyn the quick video of Maddie saying goodbye to Mickey and giving him a kiss as they step to the side to get themselves situated again. 

 

Maddie ends up  _ loving  _ the  _ It’s a Small World _ ride so they get in line over and over again until she falls asleep in Ashlyn’s arms mid-ride around lunchtime when she’d usually be going down for a nap at home. They decide not to wake her up, instead laying the seat of her stroller back and pulling the canopy forward so she can sleep while they head inside one of the restaurants to eat. 

 

“I never want to hear that song again,” Ali whines, dipping a french fry into ketchup. She has one foot on Maddie’s footrest, using it to gently rock the stroller back and forth to keep her sleeping for as long as possible. 

 

“Oh, I’m sure little princess will make us ride it again,” Ashlyn replies. “Actually, we should wait by the Dumbo ride or something until she wakes up so she’ll forget about that one--I’m sure she’ll love Dumbo.”

 

Their plan works. When Maddie wakes up from her nap thirty minutes after they finish eating, they’re on a bench right in front of the Dumbo ride, Ashlyn’s arm around Ali’s shoulder as they chat and people watch. 

 

“Morning, sleepyhead,” Ali says when she sees Maddie stir, rubbing at her eyes with balled up fists. She gently takes Maddie out of her stroller, holding her on her lap as she continues waking up, head resting on Ali’s shoulder. When she’s more awake, she seems to have forgotten all about the Small World ride as she points to the Dumbo ride behind them. They take her on a quick bathroom trip and get a small serving of mac and cheese from one of the many food counters before finally getting in line, keeping Maddie (and themselves) entertained as they wait. 

 

They return to the hotel later that evening, all three ready for bed almost immediately after walking around all day. Their wallets are a little lighter after buying all sorts of souvenirs for Maddie’s birthday and to remember their trip by but their hearts are as full as they’ve ever been as they cuddle in bed, all three in new Disney pajamas.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought you might need this after the game today
> 
> you know the drill: favorite parts or lines? 
> 
> [This](https://apis.xogrp.com/media-api/images/3caedc96-7aad-4f61-a66e-685edb671794) is how I envisioned Ali's dress


	18. message

Summer arrives too quickly and too slowly at the same time. Quickly because there are still so many wedding plans to finalize and too slowly because they can’t wait to get married and to begin the adoption process so Ashlyn can finally,  _ finally  _ have her relationship with Maddie reflected on her birth certificate. By June, all of the biggest decisions for the wedding have been finalized and put into motion and their attention turns to smaller details like what time the cake should be delivered and how they should have their hair styled. They also start looking into expanding their family, knowing that if they want the baby to come in late spring or early summer, they won’t have much time to waste after they get married. They briefly discuss waiting another year to add to their family but ultimately agree that they want their kids to be close in age and that they really don’t want to wait--they both miss having a baby around. 

 

In addition to planning their own wedding and to expand their family, they have friends’ weddings to attend nearly every weekend between May and their own wedding in early July. Some of the weddings they attend are boring, stuffy affairs but some, like Niki and Molly’s, are huge parties more in line with what they envision for their own. 

 

“Those two really know how to throw a party,” Ali says, taking off Maddie’s shoes when they get home from Orlando the day after Niki and Molly’s wedding. 

 

“It was good,” Ashlyn agrees, their overnight bag slung over one shoulder and their garment bags in her hand. “But ours will be better.”

 

“Please don’t tell me you and Niki have some sort of competition going,” Ali sighs as Maddie runs off to play. 

 

Ashlyn shrugs her shoulders, wordlessly telling Ali that she won’t like the answer. She trudges upstairs with their bags, Maddie close on her heels. 

 

“Mama, dress,” Maddie says, following Ashlyn all the way into the master bedroom. 

 

“We can play dress-up,” Ashlyn replies, laying the garment bags flat on their bed and dropping the heavy duffle onto the floor. “How about you go get everything ready while I unpack so Mommy won’t be mad, okay?”

 

Maddie nods, running towards her bedroom. 

 

Ashlyn unpacks quickly, dropping dirty clothes into the hamper and putting toiletries back into the bathroom. When she joins Maddie in her bedroom, all of her dress-up clothes already litter the floor as she searches for what she wants to put on. “Good choice,” Ashlyn compliments when she sees her pick up a purple Rapunzel dress. “We like her, don’t we?”  

 

“Yep,” Maddie replies, holding the dress out. Ashlyn, assuming that she wants help putting it on, takes it from her and bunches the material up to slip it over Maddie’s head. “No, you,” Maddie says. 

 

“You want me to put it on?” Ashlyn clarifies, smiling when Maddie nods. “Okay but I look pretty funny in a dress.” She can’t fit into it, of course, so she sticks her arms through the neck and as far as possible through the arm holes instead of trying to pull it over her head. This seems to satisfy Maddie who turns her attention the the Elsa dress she’s picked for herself, slipping the dress over her head without assistance. She then busies herself with her tea set, handing an empty cup to Ashlyn. “Ahhhh, delicious,” Ashlyn sighs, pretending to take a sip. 

 

“Ahhhhh,” Maddie mimics, taking a sip of her own. 

 

They play like that for nearly thirty minutes before Ali comes up the stairs, announcing that dinner is ready. “Oh my god,” she exclaims, seeing both of them with princess dresses on and plastic tea cups in front of them. “I like your new look,” she says, gesturing to Ashlyn’s dress as Ashlyn slyly puts up her middle finger where Maddie can’t see. 

 

“Mama pretty,” Maddie says, grinning at Ali’s amused reaction. 

 

“Mama is very pretty,” Ali agrees. “But I need both of my pretty princesses to come downstairs for dinner.” She smiles, watching as Ashlyn drops the pink and purple dress into Maddie’s dress-up box while Maddie takes her own dress off and follows Ashlyn’s lead. “All those years your mom tried to get you in dresses and Maddie probably did it with just her little pout,” she comments. 

 

“Okay,” Ashlyn begins as they walk downstairs, “that’s not fair because you taught her the pout knowing that she could get anything out of me with it and it’s not like I was actually wearing the thing.”

 

“No, but you would’ve,” Ali counters. 

 

“Of course I would’ve--she has your pout.” She pauses, securing Maddie in her booster seat at the table and pushing the chair in. “Plus, you already know that I would do anything for her and that includes wearing a pink and purple princess dress for our very important tea party.”

 

“You’re cute,” Ali says, cutting small pieces of baked chicken for Maddie. “Did you have a fun time at Niki and Molly’s wedding last night?” Ali asks as she sets Maddie’s plastic plate in front of her. 

 

“Yep,” Maddie says, grinning up at Ali. 

 

Ali smiles, taking her seat next to Maddie. “Mama and I are getting married pretty soon so you’ll get to wear your pretty dress and dance with us just like we did last night.”

 

“And then you get to spend a whole week with grandma and grandpa while Mommy and I go on our honeymoon,” Ashlyn adds, picking up where Ali left off. They’ve been trying to prepare her for the fact that they’ll be down in the Bahamas for a week and won’t be home with her although they know that she won’t really understand until they leave. Luckily, their hotel has free wifi so they plan on FaceTiming her at least once a day--whenever they can manage to put clothes on, that is. “Don’t worry though, we’re going to miss you so much that we’ll end up bringing you lots of fun stuff back,” she adds, slyly avoiding the word ‘present’ that would prematurely get Maddie excited about something they won’t have for another month. 

 

Later that night, long after Maddie is in bed and they’re sated from practicing for their honeymoon (as Ashlyn called it), Ali receives a Facebook message from the last person on earth she’d ever expected to hear from again: Matt. When her phone chimes with the message, she almost doesn’t believe it. After all, it’s been almost exactly three years since she told him she was pregnant and she hasn’t heard a word for him since. After he left, she’d immediately deleted him from all of her social media accounts and it doesn’t appear as if he’s tried to add her as a friend again but her stomach still ties itself into knots when she double, triple checks that she’s not seeing things. The potential content of the message scares her to death, her mind immediately jumping to the possibility that he’s going to ask for some sort of custody or visitation agreement, throwing a wrench into their plans for Ashlyn to adopt Maddie. “Ash,” she whispers, voice and hands shaking with nerves over what could possibly be in the message. 

 

“Honey, what’s wrong?” Ashlyn asks softly, hearing the shakiness of Ali’s voice. She locks her phone, dropping it onto the bed as she turns to fully face her fiancée. 

 

“Matt messaged me,” Ali says, unable to control her shaking hand as she clutches her phone. 

 

“Don’t even read it, okay?” Ashlyn says gently, pulling Ali into a hug. “There’s nothing good that can even come of that.”

 

“I know that but he’s her dad, Ashlyn,” Ali counters firmly, immediately seeing the hurt on Ashlyn’s face. Her eyes go wide at her own words, wishing she could take them back. “I didn’t--” she tries to explain. 

 

Ashlyn pulls pack, moving out of Ali’s embrace and sitting rigidly against the headboard, her hands clasped in her lap. “No he’s not,” she says tersely. 

 

“I know he’s not,” Ali agrees. 

 

“Then why did you say it?” Ashlyn demands, her voice quiet but reflecting the mixture of hurt and anger she feels. She pauses, trying to calm herself but to no avail as Ali’s words run through her mind over and over again, taunting her. “If he’s her dad, what does that make me? Stepmom? Parents are there for their kids, Alex, and that man has done nothing,  _ nothing  _ for her or for you. And what about all those times you reassured me early on that I’m her mom too? Was that trying to convince me or convince yourself?” She gets out of bed, grabbing her pillow and phone. 

 

“Ash, don’t,” Ali tries, willing herself not to cry so she can explain. 

 

Ashlyn softens despite her anger and hurt. “Look, Alex, I know you didn’t mean it and I’m not going anywhere, okay? I love both of you more than anything but right now I really need you to think about the implications of what you said because, whether you meant it or not, it still hurt me. I’m going to sleep in the guestroom, I love you.”

 

“Love you too,” Ali says quietly. 

 

Ashlyn gives her a tight lipped smile, trying her best to assure her that they’ll be fine before she makes her way out of the room, pillow and phone in hand. Instead of entering the guest room, however, she quietly opens the door to Maddie’s room, carefully climbing into bed next to the sleeping toddler. She watches her sleep for a few minutes, so peaceful and innocent and blissfully unaware of what just happened. She knows that Ali hadn’t meant what she said, knows that there’s no way she thinks of Matt as anything other than a donor, no more important to Maddie than the anonymous donor they’ve set out on selecting for their next children. It was simply a slip of the tongue, the only way she could think to describe him in her fear of what the message could possibly contain. But that doesn’t make it less hurtful for Ashlyn to hear, not after all that she has done for Madeline, not after being their for her whole life--the complete opposite of the man who left as soon as he knew about her existence. Also unlike him in that until the adoption in final, he’s the one that could legally challenge for her. He’s not on her birth certificate and it would be unlikely for any judge to grant him parental rights (if that’s what he wants) after being absent for so long but Ashlyn won’t feel completely secure until it’s  _ her  _ name on that all important document. “I love you and Mommy more than anything,” Ashlyn assures the sleeping girl. “That won’t change no matter what.”

 

She’s not quite sure when she fell asleep, having watched Maddie sleep peacefully for what must have been hours, but she wakes when Maddie starts to stir the next morning, sleepily nuzzling into Ashlyn’s chest as they both try to wake up. It doesn’t take Madeline long before she starts getting restless, itching to get out of bed for the day so Ashlyn swings her legs off the side of the small bed, nearly stepping on Ali’s sleeping form as she does. Ali must sense the movement because she opens her eyes as Ashlyn carefully steps over her, reaching towards the bed to help Maddie down so she won’t step on her either. 

 

“Ash,” Ali whispers, voice raspy from sleep and from crying the night before. She hadn’t been able to fall asleep after the fight and only fell into a somewhat restful slumber when she joined Ashlyn in Madeline’s room, opting to sleep on the floor and not trying to squeeze into the twin bed with them.

 

“Come on,” Ashlyn says, setting Maddie down and reaching a hand out to help Ali off of the floor. “Let’s get Maddie some breakfast and we can talk, okay?” She kisses Ali on the forehead, letting her lips linger than they normally would, both of them instantly relaxing at the gentle, loving contact. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Ali says. 

 

“I know. We’re okay but we do need to talk about it.”

 

Ashlyn heads downstairs with Maddie to get breakfast started, leaving Ali in Maddie’s room to collect her thoughts. When she’s ready, she makes her way downstairs as well, finding a plate of eggs and sausage at her spot, Ashlyn’s food also untouched. 

 

“Hey,” Ashlyn greets, unable to control her smile as Ali walks into the room, her dark hair adorably disheveled as it always is when they first wake up. “I was waiting for you but little miss wanted to get a head start,” she says, gesturing to Maddie who is already almost done with her plate of scrambled eggs. 

 

They don’t talk about the message or their argument while they eat, focusing on lighter things like their plans for the day and their wedding countdown. When they’re done eating, they start playing  _ Frozen  _ in the living room, knowing that Maddie will be so entranced by it that she’ll stay put for a while so they can talk at the table. 

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t let you explain last night,” Ashlyn says, sitting in her normal seat that faces away from the living room with Ali across from her, keeping an eye on Maddie on the couch. “I was just so taken aback because you’re obviously her mom and if you were saying he’s her dad, I was the odd one out and I didn’t like that feeling. You know as well as I do how much I love her and that I’ve been there from that start so I never expected you to say something like that. He helped make her, yes, but he’s not her dad.”

 

“I’m sorry I said that, I honestly didn’t mean it,” Ali replies, taking Ashlyn’s hand across the table. 

 

“I know you were just scared and I was scared too which is why I think it blew up more than it should’ve,” Ashlyn reasons. “As much as I know I’m her mom and I know I can adopt her once we’re married, I also know that if he’s challenging for custody, then that might not be a possibility. It won’t change how I feel about her, obviously, but it still scares me. I didn’t get to help plan her and I didn’t come into this knowing that she’s my daughter like you did, you know? So sometimes I’m still a little insecure that I don’t have that legal connection to her.”

 

“Well, to be fair, I didn’t really get to plan her either--she just kind of happened,” Ali jokes, lightening the mood considerably as Ashlyn laughs. “Seriously, you had as much of a role in planning her as I did just like you’ve had as much of a role in raising her. I was just so afraid of getting that message that I didn’t think about how phrasing it that way would hurt you until after it was too late. And I  _ know  _ I should’ve thought about it because you are the last person in the world I’d ever want to hurt like that, especially since I know how important you are to each other. You are her mother, plain and simple, and you’ve earned that distinction by being there for her.” She pauses, gently rubbing the back of Ashlyn’s hand with her thumb. “I didn’t even look for you in the guest room last night--I knew you’d be in there with her because of how much she means to you and you felt like your relationship with her could be threatened.” She pauses, steadying her emotions. “I need you to trust me here, okay? I’m never going to let anyone take that girl away from you, especially not Matt.”

 

Ashlyn nods, dropping Ali’s hand and moving to her side of the table so she can pull her into a tight hug. “I love you so much,” she says, one hand securely on the back of Ali’s head. 

 

“I love you too,” Ali replies. 

 

“It’s going to be so much easier when I finally get to adopt her,” Ashlyn notes, moving back to sit on the empty chair next to Ali. 

 

“I know,” Ali replies, grinning. “I can’t wait for that day.”

 

“Did you ever read the message?” Ashlyn questions, not forgetting the reason the fight happened in the first place. 

 

Ali shakes her head, nervously spinning her phone in her hands. She sits up a little straighter to check on Maddie who is now laying down on the couch, completely engrossed in the movie. “I need you there with me when I read it because anything that affects Maddie and I affects you too.”

 

“You want to read it now? Get it over with?”

 

Ali nods, unlocking her phone. She navigates to the still unread message, taking a deep breath as she taps to open it. Her eyes scan the first few words, Ashlyn waiting on bated breath beside her before she begins to read, “‘ _ Ali, you don’t have to reply, if you even decide to read this. I just wanted to tell you that the baby (though I guess she’s more of a kid now) is absolutely gorgeous and I’m happy you made the decision to keep her. I hope you understand that me leaving was the best decision for all of us. I wasn’t ready to be a father at all, let alone a good one. I wish both of you all the best. P.S. I saw that you and Ashlyn are getting married, somehow I’m not surprised. The three of you make a beautiful family. Regards, Matt. _ ’”.

 

When Ali finishes reading, she and Ashlyn stare at each other for a few moments, unsure of what to say as the words sink in. “That’s not what I was expecting,” Ashlyn finally says. 

 

“Yeah,” Ali agrees, astonished at the content of the message. Although she spent most of the night more worried about her fight with Ashlyn, she had tried to think of every possible thing the message could contain and that certainly was not one of them. 

 

“I never would’ve imagined that his message would make me feel better,” Ashlyn notes. 

 

“Neither did I,” Ali replies. “I guess he wanted closure or to give us his blessing, not that we really needed either one.”

 

“No, we didn’t,” Ashlyn agrees. “But it is kind of nice to know that he doesn’t plan on trying to come into her life or anything. She’s all ours.” She smiles, turning her attention to find Maddie singing and dancing to “Let it Go”, a fitting song title for the morning (and night) they’ve had. She wordlessly gets up from the table, taking Ali’s hand and leading her into the living room so they can join. 

 

“Again, again,” Maddie cheers when the song is over, thrilled to have her moms singing along with her. 

 

Ashlyn smiles, finding the remote to start the song over. The three of them belt the song, matching Elsa step for step in well practiced choreography (thankfully it’s mostly strutting and arm waving). When the song is over, they all collapse dramatically on the couch, giggling at themselves as the movie continues. “Mama loves you forever,” Ashlyn says, kissing the top of Maddie’s head as they cuddle. 

 

“Love you,” Maddie replies, grinning up at Ashlyn. 

 

“What about Mommy?” Ali demands, playfully crossing her arms. 

 

“Oh, no, Mommy’s jealous,” Ashlyn exclaims. “Guess we have to give her lots of kisses, huh?” Maddie smiles, climbing into Ali’s lap, kissing her over and over again while Ashlyn moves to kneel in front of the couch, waiting for her turn. It doesn’t take long for Maddie to get distracted by the movie again, moving off of Ali’s lap to sit on the floor in front of the tv. “My turn,” Ashlyn says, leaning in to kiss Ali deeply while Maddie’s back is turned to them. 

 

“Mmm,” Ali hums, rubbing her lips together when they pull apart. “I think we need some make-up s-e-x when she takes her nap.”

 

“Maddie, time for bed,” Ashlyn says, whipping her head around. It’s still much too early for her nap so thankfully, Maddie is too wrapped up in the movie to even hear what Ashlyn says. 

 

“I can’t take you anywhere,” Ali mumbles, rolling her eyes. “You’re lucky she didn’t hear that or you would’ve confused her.”

 

When Maddie finally does go down for a nap just after lunch, Ali takes Ashlyn’s hand and leads her to their bedroom, intent on showing her just how sorry she is for phrasing things the way she did. She would never intentionally hurt Ashlyn and she certainly wouldn’t use something like that against her, not after all she’s done for her and Maddie. Not when she wholeheartedly believes that Maddie was always meant to be Ashlyn’s daughter. “I love you,” she mumbles, standing on her toes so she can kiss Ashlyn as they stand in front of their bed. 

 

“I love you too,” Ashlyn says, gripping Ali’s waist. She pulls Ali flush against her body as they kiss. Her hands soon begin to roam, first up Ali’s back and then lower until she finally slips her hands under the waistband of Ali’s shorts, gripping her ass firmly. 

 

The spend over an hour showing each other just how sorry they are for the way things escalated the previous night. They don’t mention the incident--they’ve already discussed all that they need to discuss--only using words to express their love (a few expletives mixed in). By the time they’re sated and too sensitive to take anymore, it’s about halfway through Maddie’s nap period and they’re in desperate need of naps themselves. The curl up next to each other, skin on skin, relishing their closeness as they drift off to sleep. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost wrote this as two separate chapters but I didn't want to leave you with a cliff hanger or anything so, yeah. 
> 
> Do you think Ashlyn overreacted? Should Ali have been a little more conscious of her word choice there?


	19. rehearsal

The day before their wedding, Ashlyn wakes with a slight hangover, a residual from Liz’s 4th of July party the night before. Making matters worse (and somehow better at the same time) is Ali who bounces on the bed, determined to wake her up. 

 

“We’re getting married tomorrow,” Ali exclaims, whispering an apology when she sees the slightest hint of pain on Ashlyn’s face. “I’ll get you some aspirin and water before I unleash Maddie on you,” she says, gently kissing Ashlyn’s forehead. She dances her way down to the kitchen, too excited to simply walk. She’d woken up almost an hour earlier, much earlier than she usually wakes, so she’s ready to take on the day when she returns to her and Ashlyn’s room, passing Ashlyn two aspirin and a glass of water. “I’ll go get Maddie and start breakfast, okay? Give you a little while for those to kick in.”

 

“Thank you,” Ashlyn says appreciatively, eyes still trying to get used to daylight streaming in through the curtains. 

 

“But not too long--we still have to finish packing for our honeymoon and take everything Maddie will need to my parents’. Actually, do you think we should just offer for them to stay here while we’re gone? It might be easier.”

 

Ashlyn shrugs, her foggy mind not able to keep up with everything Ali just rattled off. 

 

“I guess I’ll just call my mom and see what she thinks,” Ali says, jumping off the bed and grabbing her phone to head downstairs. “Hurry up, wife-to-be,” she cheers, closing their bedroom door behind her. 

 

By the time Ashlyn makes it downstairs twenty minutes later, her aspirin has finally kicked in and she feels more ready to start such a busy day. When Ali sets her food down in front of her, she says that they decided to have Maddie stay at her parents’, figuring that it will be less confusing while they’re gone. If Deb and Ken decided to come stay at their house with her, it might be a little harder for her to understand that her moms won’t be home for a few days so although it means more packing for them, it’s the best thing to do for her. 

 

“Okay so what do we still have to do before we leave for the hotel?” Ashlyn questions, stirring her coffee. 

 

“I can drop Maddie’s stuff off at my parents’ while you shower then you can finish the packing you were supposed to do yesterday before we went to Liz’s while I shower and Maddie takes a n-a-p. You already ironed your outfit for tonight and got your wedding suit from the tailor, right?” 

 

“Yeah, I did both yesterday morning. They’re hanging in front closet.”

 

“Perfect,” Ali says, tapping that item on the checklist on her phone, the little circle filling in with an orange check mark. “Do you have gas in your car so we don’t have to worry on the way to the airport or should I take it when I run to my parents’ and fill it up?”

 

“No, I think it’s good,” Ashlyn replies. 

 

“Well,” Ali begins, looking down at her list, “I guess that’s all we need to take care of before we leave. Rehearsal is at five and then rehearsal dinner is at seven. I already called and requested an early check-in so we can get ready there.”

 

“Sounds like everything’s ready so I can marry you,” Ashlyn says, grinning. 

 

“Everything’s good to go,” Ali confirms. “You ready to become an official Krieger?”

 

Ashlyn smiles, letting it sink in that she’ll finally be a Krieger in less than 36 hours. Even as a kid, she always felt like part of the family, always knew that Deb and Ken thought of her as if she were one of their own. They’d included her on as many family trips as possible, giving her the chance to see and experience things she otherwise would not have been able to see. When her own parents were going through a divorce, the Krieger household became a sanctuary for her to the point that their bus driver stopped asking her for notes of permission before letting her get off at Ali’s stop, knowing that she had a permission slip every day. “I used to wish I was a Krieger,” she admits. 

 

“I remember you saying that when we were little,” Ali says. “And I remember my parents saying you were with us so often that they might as well adopt you.”

 

“Close enough,” Ashlyn replies, leaning over to kiss the top of Maddie’s head in the seat next to her. “Mommy and I are getting married tomorrow,” she whispers as if it’s a secret. 

 

“I wear pretty dress,” Maddie says proudly. 

 

“You do get to wear a pretty dress,” Ali says. “Do you remember what it looks like?”

 

Maddie thinks for a moment, scrunching her eyebrows as she tries to remember. “White!” she exclaims, throwing her arms out to the side in excitement. 

 

“Good job,” Ashlyn cheers, ruffling her hair. 

 

Somehow, despite all of their (Ali’s) careful planning, they (Ashlyn) manage to forget Ali’s shoes for the rehearsal dinner, calling back to Deb and Ken to pick them up on their way to the hotel for the rehearsal. Kyle, who flew into town the night prior, tags along to help wrangle Maddie while Ali and Ashlyn get ready.  

 

“How does this look?” Ali asks, modeling her dress for the rehearsal dinner. The top layer is mostly sheer black with opaque geometric designs--almost like a modern lace--while the lining is nude material, showing off the design. 

 

“Beautiful,” Kyle and Ashlyn say in unison. 

 

“Do you think it’s too fancy? It’s on the beach.”

 

Ashlyn shakes her head, rolling the sleeves of her grey and white checkered button down to her elbows. “It’s our weekend--we can wear whatever we want. Besides, you look absolutely gorgeous.” She crosses the room, giving Ali a quick kiss. 

 

“Ewww,” Kyle playfully whines, prompting Maddie to do the same. 

 

“Great, thanks for teaching her that, Ky,” Ali says, rolling her eyes. “Are you ready, Ash? Can you get Maddie dressed while I do my makeup?”

 

Ashlyn nods, reaching into the suitcase for Maddie’s pale pink sundress. “Come here, you,” she grits as Maddie jumps off of the bed, dodging her outstretched arms. 

 

“Get me, Mama,” Maddie squeals, running to the other side of the hotel room. 

 

“I’m gonna get you,” Ashlyn warns, holding her arms out and following closely behind her but not quite catching her. “Ohhhh, you’re too fast,” she complains. 

 

“Get me,” Maddie repeats, trying to run away from Ashlyn again. 

 

“How about we get dressed right now and later Uncle Kyle and Uncle Chris can chase you on the beach, how does that sound?”

 

“Okay,” Maddie says, walking back towards Ashlyn breathes a sigh of relief that she didn’t argue. “I do it,” she asserts, taking her own clothes off and slipping the dress over her head (backwards, naturally) instead of letting Ashlyn do it for her. 

 

“Good job,” Ashlyn encourages, turning the dress around before helping Maddie get her arms through the arm holes. “Look at you, pretty as Mommy.”

 

“Bathroom’s all yours,” Ali says to Kyle as she comes back into the main part of her hotel room (Ashlyn’s room for the night is on a different floor so they all decided to get ready together). Deb and Ken finally arrive with Ali’s shoes while the three of them take family selfies together, capturing everything before Maddie has a chance to ruin her dress. They don’t have much time to waste once Kyle is ready to go but luckily everything is taking place at their hotel so they don’t have to worry about driving anywhere. When it’s time, they simply ride the elevator downstairs to meet with Amy and head towards where the ceremony will take place. 

 

The rehearsal goes off without any major issue--except for the fact that when Maddie makes her way down the aisle, dropping flowers everywhere, her first instinct is to ask Ashlyn to pick her up. Ashlyn tries to resist, telling her to go sit with her parents but Maddie isn’t having any of it. 

 

“Please, Mama,” she says, sticking her bottom lip out as she continues holding her arms in the air. 

 

“Okay,” Ashlyn caves, bending down to pick Madeline up. “But tomorrow you have to be a big girl and sit in your seat, okay? Let’s watch Mommy,” she says, pointing towards the back where Ali, Deb, and Ken are all making their way down the aisle. “She wanted me to hold her,” Ashlyn explains when Ali looks between her and Madeline curiously. 

 

“She’s going to try it again tomorrow,” Ali says. 

 

“I think we’ll have my mom bribe her with fruit snacks or something,” Ashlyn whispers as the officiant gets things started. 

 

The rest of the rehearsal goes smoothly so when everything wraps up, they head down to the beach pavilion with their wedding party and families to meet up with the rest of their guests. They each hold one of Maddie’s hands as they walk through the sand, periodically swinging her between them.

 

“Again, again,” Maddie cheers as they come up to the pavilion. 

 

“One, two, three,” Ali exclaims, her and Ashlyn swinging Maddie away from the sand and into the concrete pavilion--their arrival and Maddie’s squeals effectively getting everyone’s attention. 

 

They mingle with their guests for a little bit, thanking people for making the trip before they take their seats at the head table, watching as Chris stands up next to Ashlyn to make a toast. “Hey, everyone, I'm Chris, Ashlyn’s brother. I'm sure many of you already know how they met--the classic lifelong friends story--so I won't get too into that but I do want to say that Ali has always felt like a sister to me, and I am so happy that they  _ finally  _ got their act together. I'm sure we all have our moment with them when we knew that they were going to end up together--my mom claims she knew by the time they started high school while Kyle, Ali’s brother, says he knew when they were in college. 

 

“For me, it didn't happen until a few years ago when Ash asked me to help her move back home from Orlando because Ali was pregnant and she was moving in to help her. I could feel her excitement through the phone and I knew they were going to end up together. I knew that although she was being the amazing friend and person she is, Ashlyn already thought of Maddie as her own. And now here we are, finally celebrating these two as they get married and become the family they’ve always been.”

 

Chris pauses, looking down at Ali and Maddie (who is sitting on Ali’s lap). “I can’t imagine my life without any of you and I’m so proud to call you my family.” He pauses again, looking back at all the guests. “So,” he says, raising his glass. “To Ashlyn, Ali, and Maddie,” he brings his drink to his mouth, everyone else following suit as they repeat the toast. “Oh,” he exclaims just before sitting back down. “If you want a really funny story about someone’s moment of realization, talk to Catherine--hers is really good. If you don’t know who she is, she's the one even I mistook for Ash earlier.” 

 

“I hate you,” Ali mouths as he sits down, looking smug that he essentially called them out on how they finally ended up together. The people who know what happened, including Catherine and Rachel, all laugh, sharing knowing looks with one another. 

 

With her brother’s speech done, Ashlyn stands, ready to make her own speech to her wife-to-be and daughter. “In continuing with that theme,” she begins, looking down at them lovingly, “I knew I loved Alex from the first time I saw her.” She smiles, trying to keep her tears at bay as she sees Ali start to cry. As much as she wants to hold eye contact through her speech, she knows she has to break it before they both turn into sobbing messes. “I don’t know when I realized that I would love Ali for the rest of my life--it always seemed as innate as knowing what color my eyes are or loving the ocean. I don’t remember that much before I met her so I can’t say that she changed my life because she didn’t change it, she shaped it. I’ve always been happiest when I’m with her. Seriously, just ask my college roommate, Whitney, about how miserable I was our freshman year.” She pauses, gesturing to Whit who’s seated in between Chris and Niki at the head table. 

 

“She was a nightmare,” Whitney confirms, grinning. 

 

“Thanks, Whit,” Ashlyn says, eliciting a laugh from the guests. “I am so honored and proud that I get to marry you tomorrow, Alex, and that I get to be Maddie’s mom. I love you both and I’m so excited to find out what else is in store for us.” She smiles, meeting Ali’s eyes before turning her attention back to their guests. “Anyway, we wanted to thank you all for coming to celebrate with us this weekend and I want to thank our families for putting up with what ended up being a twenty-two year courtship. I know we probably drove you crazy as kids because we always had to be together but I hope you realize now that it was all worth it.” She pauses, grabbing her glass off the table and raising it. “To family,” she says, listening as everyone else repeats the toast. 

 

“That was quite the speech,” Ali says as Ashlyn sits down. 

 

“Just wait until my vows,” Ashlyn replies, leaning in for a quick kiss which seems to delight their guests. 

 

“Hey,” Kyle says when they pull apart, staring at each other dreamily. “Go get your food so everyone else can eat. I’m hungry.” He takes Maddie off of Ali’s lap, holding her so they can get their food first. 

 

Chatter continues throughout their meal, their guests interacting with one another as they talk with their bridal parties. Soon after everyone finishes eating, Chris and Kyle take Maddie down to the sand and chase her around while some of their other guests start a beach volleyball game. Ali and Ashlyn don’t join the game as they continue mingling with their other guests in the pavilion but they watch curiously at some points, appreciating the fact that the teams are rather mixed between each of their friends and family, already a sign of unity. 

 

“Can you believe this is finally happening?” Ashlyn asks when she and Ali get a second alone. They’re standing at the edge of the concrete pavilion, watching their friends and family down on the sand. 

 

“Sometimes I can’t believe it,” Ali admits, gripping Ashlyn’s hand. “Sometimes I feel like we wasted too much time, like we should’ve gotten to this point sooner but other times I realized that everything happened as it was meant to happen.” She pauses, smiling as she sees Chris pick Maddie up so they can chase Kyle together. Looking back, their lifelong courtship seems impossibly long and she can pinpoint exact moments in time when they could have gotten together but then she remembers that they’re just about to turn 28 and many of their friends are at the same stage in their own lives (though only a few have kids, all of whom are younger than Maddie). But she’s content with their story, the journey that made them the people, couple, and family they are and she wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. Tomorrow, she’ll become Ashlyn’s wife and Ashlyn will take her last name. They’ll promise to love each other forever, something they promised in a platonic way hundreds of times as they grew up. They’d always talked about growing old together, always talked about how their kids would be best friends and nothing has changed except for the fact that their kids with be (and in Maddie’s case, already is) both of their kids--not just Ali’s kids and Ashlyn’s kids. She gets to have everything she’s ever wanted with the person she’s always wanted it with and she’s more thankful now than ever for her loose ponytail in first grade.

 

“Love you, Alex,” Ashlyn says quietly, pulling Ali out of her reverie. 

 

Ali turns, wrapping her arms around Ashlyn’s shoulders and kissing her firmly. “I love you too, soon to be Mrs. Krieger.”

 

Ashlyn grins, her new moniker making butterflies flutter in her stomach. When they told Deb and Ken about her plan to take their last name a few months ago, Deb had pulled her aside to talk to her about the decision. She’d been through the exact same thing, taking Ken’s name when they got married, so she knew everything that Ashlyn was feeling about the change. It’s more on the sweet side of bittersweet, they’d agreed, giving up the last name they were raised with and formed their identity under but the meaning behind changing it far outweighs those hesitations. So tomorrow, Ashlyn will start referring to herself as a Krieger and when she gets new students in the fall, she’ll stand at the front of her classroom and proudly introduce herself as Mrs. Krieger. 

 

“Oh, no,” Ali whispers next to her, pointing to where Chris and Kyle are now chasing Maddie, acting as if she’s too quick for them. “I think we have a little damsel in distress over there,” she says. 

 

“Let’s go rescue her,” Ashlyn replies, slipping out of her shoes so they can run down onto the beach. 

 

“Mommy, Mama, save me,” Maddie yells, running towards them as soon as they’re in her sight. 

 

“I’ve got you,” Ali says, crouching down to take Maddie in her arms as Ashlyn stands in front of them protectively, not allowing Chris and Kyle to get any closer. 

 

“Aw, man,” Chris groans. “Now we can’t get you.” He plops down in the sand, acting dejected. Maddie, being the sweetheart she is, pulls away from Ali’s embrace and walks over to him, putting her hand on his face.

 

“Don’t be sad,” she says, climbing onto his lap. 

 

“Well, how could I ever be sad now?” he asks, planting a kiss on Maddie’s cheek. 

 

“I’m sad too,” Kyle whines, dropping into the sand himself for some Maddie cuddles. 

 

“She’s the best kid,” Ashlyn notes as Chris and Kyle playfully battle for Maddie’s attention. “She wants to take care of everyone all the time.”

 

“She’s like you,” Ali comments, grinning as she watches Maddie finally give up on the back and forth, standing between Chris and Kyle and wrapping an arm around each of them in a group hug. 

 

“You like to take care of people too.”

 

“I know,” Ali replies. “But she’s gentle like you are and it affects her more when she sees that people are upset so she takes it upon herself to make it better. That was one of the things that made me so drawn to you.”

 

“Well it’s a trait that will serve her well, then,” Ashlyn says, smiling as she puts her arm around Ali, resting her hand on her lower back and resisting the urge to let it drift lower.

 

The party dies down a little just around Maddie’s bedtime as everyone either heads to the hotel or back home to return for the ceremony the next evening. They give Maddie a bath as soon as they get to Ali’s room so they can put her to bed for the long day ahead of them. “Last bedtime before Mama and I are married,” Ali whispers, cuddling Maddie close. 

 

“I don’t want to go to my room,” Ashlyn whines, curled up behind Ali with her arm draped over both her and Maddie. 

 

“I know but my parents booked us two rooms--we can handle one night.”

 

Once they’re certain that Madeline is asleep, they carefully slip out of bed and onto the balcony for some private time before Ashlyn has to head upstairs to her room. They stand at the railing for a few minutes, watching the waves crash to the shore, before Ashlyn finally sits on one of the chairs, pulling Ali down onto her lap. “I love you,” Ashlyn mumbles, trailing kisses along Ali’s shoulders. 

 

“Ash,” Ali whines as Ashlyn’s hands begin to roam. “There are other people on their balconies--don’t start something we can’t finish.”

 

“Ugh, fine, you’re right,” Ashlyn concedes. She wraps her arms around Ali’s waist again, determined to not get carried away. “Tomorrow though you’re all mine and I don’t care if we wake up this entire hotel.”

 

“Noted,” Ali replies, giggling. “Good thing we’ll be in a pretty big suite on the top floor, not too many neighbors to worry about.”

 

Ashlyn hums, resting her chin on Ali’s shoulder. Neither wants to say goodnight, although they know that tomorrow will bring great things for them and their families. They’ve already started their lives together--they live together and have a daughter--and although tomorrow is largely a formality, it still feels like it’s going to change everything. Being married won’t change much, except for Ashlyn’s last name, but they’ll finally begin the adoption process and will start trying for another baby in August, beginning a new adventure to expand their family. But tomorrow (and on their honeymoon), they won’t worry about these things, they owe it to themselves and one another to give themselves time to celebrate their marriage and their lives so far before moving forward with their other plans for the future. 

 

They cuddle on the chair until they’re both holding back yawns, not wanting the other to know how tired they are and suggest going to bed. Finally, sometime after midnight, Ashlyn gives up on hiding how tired she is and announces that she should go upstairs. Ali groans but agrees that they need to sleep so she untangles herself from Ashlyn’s arms. 

 

“Let me walk you to the door,” Ali says, reaching her hand down to help Ashlyn out of the chair. They walk hand in hand back into the room with Ali leading the way. Ashlyn briefly stops to give Maddie a gentle kiss to the forehead before taking Ali’s hand again as they walk towards the door. 

 

“Goodnight,” Ashlyn says, gripping Ali’s hips and pulling her close. She kisses her deeply, taking advantage of the fact that Maddie is sleeping and wouldn’t be able to see them from her place in bed anyway. They kiss for a few minutes, leaving them both breathless and flushed by the time Ashlyn says her final goodnight and forces herself to head to her own room. 

 

Ashlyn tosses and turns for hours in bed that night, a little restless without Ali beside her. Ali, apparently, is also having trouble sleeping because when Ashlyn reaches for the remote to change the channel when an infomercial comes on, her phone lights up with a text from Ali asking if she’s awake. Ashlyn smiles, typing back quickly that she can’t sleep. Before she can even send a follow up text, her phone vibrates with an incoming FaceTime call. 

 

“Hey,” Ali whispers, the picture a little grainy with only the hall light on in her and Maddie’s room. 

 

“Hey,” Ashlyn whispers back, grinning. Ali’s presence, even the virtual one of the video call, calms Ashlyn enough that she finally manages to fall asleep just ten minutes later. When she rolls over an hour later, she hears Ali’s gentle snores coming through the speakers of her phone and she can’t bring herself to end the call so she leaves her phone on the pillow next to her, right where Ali usually is, and falls back into an easy slumber. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Likes? Dislikes? Favorite parts or lines? Anything you hope to see next chapter (the wedding)?


	20. wedding

 

Although they’re not getting married until later in the afternoon, the next morning begins with a flurry of activity. First, Ali realizes that her phone is dead after falling asleep while talking to Ashlyn the night before so she leaves it charging while she goes to brunch with her bridal party, leaving Maddie with her parents. 

 

Brunch goes on a little longer than she originally intended as she uses the time to laugh and joke with Liz, Carm, and Kyle, her man of honor. It’s the perfect way to kick off her wedding day and she loves that she gets to spend some time with her closest friends and brother. Liz still lives nearby so, luckily, they get to see each other quite often but Carm lives in Vancouver and Kyle lives in New York so she doesn’t get to spend nearly enough time with either one. 

 

“Are you nervous?” Liz asks, sipping her mimosa. 

 

“I’m nervous that my mascara will run or that I’ll trip but I’m not nervous to get married,” Ali responds, smiling. “We already live together and I already know she’s a great mom so I’m more nervous about the wedding itself than I am to be married.”

 

“So what you’re saying is that you’re already an old married couple,” Kyle notes. 

 

“I mean, yeah,” Ali agrees, laughing. “There’s not much trouble we can get into with a two year old by our side at all times but we have fun.”

 

“Yeah, you have fun watching Disney movies and being in bed by nine,” Kyle ribs. 

 

“We’re not in bed by nine,” Ali scoffs, rolling her eyes. “Most nights,” she adds on second thought, remembering when Kyle called a week ago around that time and they were already fast asleep. 

 

Kyle smiles, wrapping an arm around Ali’s shoulder. “I’m just messing with you, you know how much I love you and Ash. Besides, you can be as lame as you want as long as you continue giving me cute nieces and nephews to spoil.”

 

“Sure, coming right up,” Ali half jokes, eliciting a laugh from Kyle, Liz, and Carm. They haven’t told anyone about their plans to expand their family yet (other than general statements about wanting more kids) so she covers up her smirk by taking a drink when Kyle imitates her usual response about waiting a few years. 

 

They go through another round of mimosas before ordering an Uber for the short ride back to the hotel. According to her mom’s text, Maddie is already down for a nap in her and Ken’s room so Ali takes the alone time to jump in the shower so she can start getting ready for the wedding. She stands under the water for quite some time, lost in thought about what the rest of the day will bring. She also takes the time to run through her vows a few times, making sure that she knows exactly what she wants to say when the time comes. 

 

By the time she gets out of the shower, she feels impossibly relaxed about the whole thing which is a little disconcerting after months and months of being asked if she’s nervous. Even last night at the rehearsal dinner, it seemed like everyone spent the evening telling her and Ashlyn how nervous they were for their own weddings, as if they were trying to make them feel better about their own nerves (which don’t exist). A little panicked about her lack of panic, she wraps herself in a towel and calls Ashlyn. 

 

“Hey, soon to be wife,” Ashlyn greets. 

 

“Are you freaking out?” Ali asks, foregoing a greeting. “Because I’m not freaking out and it’s making me freak out.”

 

Ashlyn laughs, the sound instantly calming Ali. “I’m pretty calm, actually. Just having a drink with Niki, Whit, and Chris before we head downstairs to get ready.” She pauses and Ali can hear her muffled voice telling the others she’s stepping out into the hall for a moment. “Okay, now we can talk,” she says. 

 

“It feels weird that I’m not nervous,” Ali admits. 

 

“I know but it’s not like things are really going to change, you know? I think it’s okay to not be nervous. I mean, it’s not like we’re these blushing virgins moving from our parents’ houses into marriage because we already live together and we’re  _ definitely  _ not virgins. We have nothing to be afraid of.”

 

“I can’t wait to see you,” Ali says. 

 

“I’ll be the gorgeous one in the suit.”

 

Ali closes her eyes, imagining Ashlyn leaning against the wall two floors above with a giant smile on her face, much like she used to lean against the lockers when they were in high school. “You’re gonna have to be more specific than that or I might accidentally marry Catherine.”

 

“Honestly, no one would know the difference,” Ashlyn jokes. 

 

“I love you but I have to go get ready so I can marry you,” Ali says, glancing down at her still wet hair. 

 

“I love you too.”

 

The bridal suite is rather small but very nice so Ali is incredibly thankful not only that she has a small bridal party but also that they decided to get dressed in their own hotel rooms before meeting her, Deb, Maddie, and the photographer in the bridal suite. She and Kyle texted each other wedding hairstyle ideas for months before they finally decided on soft curls with loose french braids running from her temple to the back of her head on both sides with three white anemones (representing her, Madeline, and Ashlyn) where the braids meet. He works her hair expertly while she sits in front of the lighted mirror, scrolling through instagram to give her hands something to do. 

 

“Isn’t Mommy pretty?” Deb asks, holding Maddie on her hip as Kyle takes a picture of the back of Ali’s hair to show her how it looks. 

 

“Mommy pretty,” Maddie agrees. 

 

“Thank you, honey,” Ali says, beaming as she gets out of her chair and takes Maddie from her mom. “Let’s get dressed so we can go take pictures with Mama, okay?” Maddie grins at the mention of getting to see Ashlyn, having only seen her for a few minutes when Ashlyn visited Deb and Ken’s room earlier in the afternoon. “You love your Mama,” Ali notes, kissing Maddie’s cheek. “So do I.”

 

They put Maddie’s dress on first, cooing at how cute she is in her tea length dress with a full tulle skirt. Other than the length, the cut is very similar to Ali’s dress, the main difference being that Ali’s dress has the sheer tulle on top while Maddie’s is completely opaque. When they went dress shopping for Maddie, Ali had to bite her tongue when Ashlyn picked this particular dress off the rack for Madeline to try because it looks so similar to her own dress. It almost seemed like fate that this would be the dress Ashlyn picked, reaffirming that she picked the right dress for herself. 

 

“Mommy, look,” Maddie says, twirling around, making the tulle skirt fly up a little. 

 

“That’s so cool,” Ali exclaims. “You’ll have to show everyone how to do that on the dance floor tonight.”

 

“Your turn,” Kyle says, holding Ali’s dress out for her to take. 

 

“I can’t believe this is finally happening,” Ali breathes, taking her dress from Kyle and making her way to the suite’s changing room. 

 

“You ready?” Carm asks as Ali slips out of her silk robe. 

 

Ali nods, stepping into the dress as Liz holds it out for her. “Holy shit, Ali, you’re really getting married,” Liz comments once the back of the dress is zipped. 

 

“I know,” Ali breathes. She stands in front of the full length mirror, taking everything in. The dress is even more beautiful that the last time she put it on (which was four nights ago after Ashlyn was already in bed) and her hair and makeup really pull everything together. Everything is the perfect mixture of soft, romantic, and sophisticated and she knows that Ashlyn is going to love it. She takes a deep breath, keeping her emotions in check as she walks back into the main part of the bridal suite. “Mom, don’t cry,” she warns, seeing Deb’s eyes fill with tears. “You’re going to make me cry.” Her words have little effect as tears start rolling down Deb’s face, causing Ali to cry as well. 

 

“Mommy no cry,” Maddie says, trying to wrap her arms around Ali’s legs. 

 

“It’s a vicious cycle,” Ali mumbles, laughing that Maddie tried to stop her from crying the same way she tried to stop Deb. “I’m not sad, I promise” she reassures, picking Maddie up and propping her on her hip as the photographer snaps pictures of the emotional moment. “These are happy tears, baby.” She pauses, puckering up for a kiss which Maddie happily returns. “Let’s go see Mama, okay?” She takes Maddie’s hand while the photographer leads the way to the hotel garden, where they’re set to meet Ashlyn for their first look and a few pictures before the ceremony. They’d been a bit resistant to the idea of a first look when Amy and Lauren first brought it up as a possibility but eventually, they’d come around to agreeing that it would be a special moment for the three of them instead of seeing each other for the first time in front of all of their guests. Besides, this will significantly cut down on how many pictures they’ll need to take during the cocktail hour so they can won’t have to keep their guests waiting as long. 

 

Ali and Maddie stand with their backs to where Ashlyn will come down the path towards them, holding hands while they wait. “Mama,” Maddie exclaims, turning around when they hear Ashlyn come up behind them.

 

“My girls,” Ashlyn says, stopping as she gets within a few feet of them. Even from the back, she can tell that Ali’s dress is absolutely gorgeous (not that she had any doubt that Ali would pick something great). She takes a second to compose herself, grinning when Maddie runs up to her. She reaches her arms out, scooping Maddie up and holding her on her hip while the photographer continues snapping pictures. “Turn around, Alex.” She watches as Ali finally turns to face her and for once, she’s completely speechless. Her dress doesn’t register, not at first, as she’s so wrapped up in Ali’s radiant smile. “Alex,” she breathes, nearly moved to tears at the sight. She’s quiet again for a moment, looking Ali up and down as she finally looks at her dress. 

 

“You look beautiful,” Ali says, finally breaking the silence. Ashlyn’s long blonde hair is in loose (but tame) waves over her shoulder and her dark grey suit is tailored to perfection but it’s the look of pure love on Ashlyn’s face and Maddie on her hip that really gets to Ali as she closes the gap between them, leaning in for a kiss. 

 

“I don’t have any words,” Ashlyn whispers, resting her forehead against Ali’s when they pull apart. “You are the most beautiful person in the entire world.” She turns to Maddie, giving her a kiss as well. “And you too, my sweet girl.”

 

Ali drapes an arm around Ashlyn’s waist, holding her close. “We’re getting married in an hour,” she says.

 

“I can’t wait,” Ashlyn breathes, kissing Ali again. They take a few more minutes to enjoy their time together before the photographer directs them to take a few posed pictures both with and without Maddie to make the process easier once the ceremony is over. They finally make their way back to their respective bridal parties just ten minutes before the ceremony is set to begin. 

 

When Ashlyn arrives back at her own bridal suite, Deb is chatting with Chris, seemingly waiting for her return. “How’d it go?” Deb questions, turning around when Ashlyn enters the room. 

 

“It was amazing,” Ashlyn replies, beaming. “They’re both so beautiful I couldn’t even speak for like a whole minute.”

 

“I was wondering what was taking so long,” Deb says with a wink. “Here, this is for you,” she adds, holding out a long, thin box. 

 

“Thank you, you didn’t have to get me anything,” Ashlyn says, hugging Deb before she opens the box. Inside, there's a long gold chain with a disk pendant on the end, a capital letter K engraved in the center on the front of the pendant and the day’s date engraved on the back. “Deb, this is stunning, thank you,” she breathes, taking the necklace out of the box and pulling it over her head, tucking it underneath her clothes. 

 

“You’re welcome, sweetie,” Deb replies. “Your mom got Alex the same one in rose gold so you can switch if you want.”

 

Ashlyn shakes her head. “This is perfect--I love it and I love you.”

 

“I love you too, welcome to the family.” Deb leans forward, hugging Ashlyn again before saying her goodbyes so the ceremony can get started. All the guests are already in their seats so as soon as they get the signal, Niki, Whitney, and Chris lead the way down the aisle followed by Allie, who wears a dress that matches Maddie’s. Finally, Ashlyn walks down the aisle flanked by both of her parents. When she finally takes her place, Ashlyn waits on bated breath for Maddie and Ali to make their way towards her. The wait, although no more than a minute, feels like an eternity and she feels like she’s about to pass out from the anticipation. Maddie makes her way down the aisle first, dumping her flowers everywhere, adding them to the ones Allie dropped. When she makes it to the front, Ashlyn takes a few steps towards her to give her a hug and kiss before Tammye scoops Maddie onto her lap, a pack of fruit snacks already in hand so she’ll sit still through the ceremony. 

 

With Madeline in her seat, Ashlyn’s eyes dart to the end of the aisle, not blinking as she waits for Ali. Finally,  _ finally _ , Ali starts making her way down the aisle, as radiant and beautiful as Ashlyn has ever seen her. Although they already spent an hour together, she still can’t quite believe just how stunning Ali looks in her wedding dress and how lucky she is that she’s the one who gets to wait at the end of the aisle for her. 

 

She often feels like the luckiest person in the world, just by virtue of being the one who gets to love and be loved by Ali and Maddie. Up until two years ago, whenever she thought of Ali’s future wedding (which she tried to avoid thinking about), she thought that she’d be standing on the other side of Ali as her maid of honor. She once wondered if the reason she feels so lucky is because she’d all but given up hope that she and Ali would get together so finally being able to love her the way she’s always loved her feels more special that it would otherwise. Then Ali, naked and bathed in the early morning light, rolled over and sleepily nuzzled closer to her and she knew that she felt that lucky because she  _ is  _ that lucky.

 

“Hi,” Ali whispers, beaming when she finally makes it to the front, immediately taking Ashlyn’s hands. 

 

“Hi,” Ashlyn replies, dimple on full display. 

 

The majority of the short ceremony passes in a blur as Ali and Ashlyn look into each other’s eyes, still trying to process that they’re finally getting married. They’ve promised each other so many things throughout their lives: friends forever, I’m always a call away, I’ll help you raise your baby. But these promises, these assurances that they’ll always be there for one another, take on a whole new meaning as they say their vows. 

 

“Alex, my love,” Ashlyn begins, trying to keep her tears at bay, “I was six years old the first time I fell in love with you. Throughout the years, through all of our ups and downs, I've fallen in love with you a little more every single day. You are my best friend and my closest confidant. You bring so much balance, love, and joy into my life and you have always believed in me even when I didn't believe in myself. You are my light and my compass. Today, I officially take on the role of wife and mother, tasks I jump into with joy and pride. I promise to be the best mother and wife I can be. To love and value you and Madeline the way you deserved to be loved. I promise to always be there for you just as you’ve always been there for me. I promise to make you laugh and dry your tears. No matter what life brings us, I will always be right by your side. I have loved you from the moment I met you, just as I have loved Maddie from the moment I knew about her and I promise to love both of you with my whole heart for as long as I live.”

 

“Wow,” Ali breathes, taking a second to calm herself before beginning her vows. She takes a deep breath and squeezes Ashlyn’s hands a little tighter. “My sweet, wonderful Ashlyn,” Ali starts, grinning at Ashlyn’s dimpled smile. “You have been my life for as long as I can remember. You were my first best friend, my first kiss, and although I didn't understand it for a long time, my first and truest love. I’ve been so fortunate to grow up with someone as kind, caring, funny, and amazing as you are by my side and it’s such an honor to have you as Maddie’s mother, to see how much you love one another. We have always been and always will be yours. Just as you have never let me walk through things alone, we will always be there to support you and love you no matter what. Not many people are lucky enough to find the love of their life by the time they lose their first tooth and I promise to continue building on that foundation with you for as long as we live.” She doesn’t say it at the ceremony, not wanting to even bring up the possibility in front of their friends and family, but when they get a second alone after, she promises to never use Ashlyn’s place as Madeline’s adoptive parent against her in an argument, even if they disagree on what is best for her (Ashlyn knows she would never do such a thing but appreciates this private vow nonetheless). 

 

When the time finally comes, their hands shake as they slide their wedding rings onto each other’s fingers, giggling when they realize that they’re each just as bad as the other. Then, as if everything is moving in slow motion, the officiant pronounces them wives and says that they may each kiss their bride. By the time Ali wraps her arms around Ashlyn’s shoulders for the kiss, they’re both crying steadily, their tears mixing as they kiss.

 

“I love you,” Ashlyn whispers, resting her forehead against Ali’s after the kiss. Seeing that Ali is still crying, she pulls back a little, gently using her thumb to wipe the tears from Ali’s cheeks. 

 

“Thank God for waterproof mascara,” Ali comments, laughing as Ashlyn starts wiping her own tears away. “We’re married,” she breathes. 

 

“My wife,” Ashlyn replies, taking Ali’s hand so they can walk back down the aisle. “And my daughter,” she adds, stopping to take Maddie from her mom. Everyone cheers when they walk back down the aisle but the only thing Ashlyn is focused on is Ali and Maddie’s hands in her own--everything she’s ever wanted in life. They have a few minutes alone before they need to start taking pictures so they head to Ali’s bridal suite, appreciating the private time as a family before they have to get in front of their guests again. 

 

They spend most of their time kissing (chastely since Madeline is in the room) and marvelling at the fact that they’re  _ married _ , never able to put enough emphasis on that word for it to fully sink in. They say it so much that even Maddie joins in, saying the word over and over as her moms are doing. 

 

“You’re so smart,” Ashlyn exclaims, picking Maddie up. “Mommy and I are married now, can you believe it?” She smiles, repeatedly kissing Maddie as Maddie giggles at the attention.  

 

“Stop it,” Ali groans. “You’re too cute together.”

 

“Can’t stop won’t stop,” Ashlyn says, kissing Maddie one last time before putting her down and pulling Ali close instead. “Just wait until tonight when my kisses are reserved only for you,” she whispers, her breath hot on Ali’s ear. 

 

“Don’t start teasing me now or we’ll never make it through the reception,” Ali warns. “Come on, let’s go get pictures taken so we can join the party.”

 

With all the pictures they took before the ceremony, they only have to take a few with just the two of them after the ceremony (mostly to capture their wedding rings) before they take photos with their families and bridal parties. Even with the shortened photoshoot session, Ashlyn’s cheeks hurt from smiling so much by the time they finally make their way to the reception but continues smiling anyway, too thrilled about being married to worry about something like smiling too much. “Let’s go party,” Ashlyn says, taking Ali’s hand just before they enter the reception space. As soon as they walk through the double doors, their DJ introduces them as the new Mrs. and Mrs. Krieger, eliciting even bigger smiles from the newlyweds. 

 

Dinner is the standard wedding fare--not too much to complain about but nothing overly impressive either. As soon as it’s done and all the dishes are cleared away by waitstaff, the real party gets started as the DJ summons Ali and Ashlyn to the dance floor for their first dance set to a cover of “Love Me Like You Do” by Madilyn Bailey. 

 

“I love you so much,” Ali whispers as the song begins. “Mrs. Krieger,” she adds, beaming. 

 

“I love you too, Mrs. Krieger,” Ashlyn replies. They hold each other close as they sway throughout the song, so engrossed in one another that they wouldn’t even notice if there was a hurricane outside the large windows. They’ve hardly made it through the first verse when Ashlyn begins to cry, everything finally sinking in. 

 

“Oh, honey,” Ali says gently, leaning forward for a kiss. When they pull apart, she rests her head on Ashlyn’s shoulder as they continue to dance, willing herself not to start crying as well. Her attempts are futile and when she picks her head back up to look into Ashlyn’s eyes, they’re both on the verge of sobbing. “Look at us, we’re a mess.” 

 

“Sorry, sorry,” Ashlyn replies, trying to stop her tears from flowing. “This wedding is horse shit,” she whispers, eliciting a laugh from Ali at the reference to one of their favorite movies. 

 

“It’s the fuckin’ Catalina wine mixer,” Ali whispers back, smiling as Ashlyn throws her head back in laughter. 

 

“You’re so gorgeous,” Ashlyn compliments, looking into Ali’s eyes when she hears the last few notes of the song. “I can’t believe you’re my wife.”

 

When the song ends, Deb ushers Maddie over to them for their first dance as a family, which the DJ explains as he starts playing Sara Bareilles’ “I Choose You”. Since they needed two first dance songs, they debated back and forth about which ones to choose, which ones would really express everything they want to express. They’d consider faster songs for the one with Maddie, considering the fact that it might be too much with two sentimental songs in a row, but ultimately decided that these were the two songs that encompass everything they want to say. “I Choose You” is especially moving for the couple who have always put each other first, even when they were just friends. Then, just a few years ago, Ali chose Madeline over a boyfriend who didn’t want her and Ashlyn chose both of them, selflessly giving up her life in Orlando for them. There’s never been a time where they didn’t choose each other and now they’ve promised in front of all their friends and family that there never will be such a time. 

 

“Look, Mama,” Maddie says, showing Ashlyn how her dress twirls halfway through the song. 

 

“Look at that,” Ashlyn exclaims as Madeline spins around and around, giggling at the way her skirt flies up a little. “You’re such a good dancer, you must get that from me.”

 

“Nope, not gonna say anything,” Ali quips, taking Maddie’s hand so she can help spin her around even faster. 

 

“Hey, I’m a very good dancer,” Ashlyn protests. 

 

“Sure you are, honey,” Ali replies. “Here, let’s go get a drink,” she says once the song ends and the rest of the dance floor fills up. Maddie’s training cup is at their parents’ table so she leads the way over there, finding her and Ashlyn’s parents all dabbing their eyes with tissues. 

 

“You guys good?” Ashlyn asks curiously, having only seen her dad and Ken cry a few times throughout her life. 

 

“Good,” Mike replies, giving a thumbs up as he sets his tissue on the table. “Just happy for you three.”

 

“Thanks, dad,” Ashlyn says, moving around the table to hug him, stopping to hug Deb, Ken, and her mom along the way. Once she’s made her way around the table, hugging everyone who’s not on the dance floor, she takes Ali’s hand. “Hey, will you guys watch Maddie for a bit? We need to drink,” she says. 

 

“Go, go, have fun,” Deb replies, letting Maddie drag her and Tammye out onto the dance floor. 

 

Ashlyn smiles, leading the way through throngs of wedding guests to get to the bars in the back of the room. They’re stopped by quite a few people on the way back, some of whom stop them to chat for a bit and some of whom simply greet them with a high five or fist bump. When they finally make it back, they’re pushed to the front of the line, a massive perk of being the guests of honor. They do a round of shots, joined by some of their guests at the front of the line before Ashlyn orders a whiskey on the rocks and Ali orders a Shirley Temple Black, looking to pace herself a bit so she’s not absolutely plastered by the time her parents take Maddie to bed. 

 

They dance with Maddie for quite some time, enjoying the opportunity to celebrate with their young daughter before she gets too tired and they have to say goodnight. Luckily, they’re meeting with their parents and bridal parties for brunch the next morning before everyone leaves so they’ll have time for a proper goodbye before they go on their honeymoon. 

 

“Night, baby girl, I love you so, so much,” Ashlyn says, a little unsteady as she crouches down to give Maddie a big hug when Ali’s parents say they’re going to take her upstairs. 

 

“Love you,” Maddie says, sleepily nuzzling into Ashlyn’s neck. 

 

“Be good for grandma and grandpa, okay?” Ali requests, bunching up her dress so she can get down to Maddie’s level as well. “Love you.” 

 

“Love you,” Maddie repeats, eyes already heavy as she hugs Ali as well. Ali holds her close for a moment, keeping her emotions in check as she takes a moment to appreciate her presence. She’d never imagined that she would already have a child when she got married and although things didn’t go according to plan, she wouldn’t change her life for anything. No, she never imagined dancing with her own kid at her wedding or needing a babysitter for her honeymoon but having Maddie makes everything that much sweeter and she loves that they get to share these memories with her. 

 

With Madeline headed off to bed, Ali and Ashlyn really begin to feel like they can cut loose. They knew that their parents were keeping an eye on her throughout the reception but they’re moms and couldn’t quite relax without worrying about if she was up too late (it’s already well beyond her normal bedtime) so knowing that she’s safe and going to bed relaxes them immensely. 

 

“I can’t wait until we get to go upstairs,” Ashlyn husks as Ali grinds on her once they’re back on the dance floor. 

 

Ali doesn’t say anything but her response is clear as she moves impossibly closer to Ashlyn, tantalizing her as she moves. They already have a considerable amount of alcohol running through their veins--especially after doing another round of shots after they said goodnight to Maddie--so they’re both feeling free and uninhibited as Ashlyn’s hands rest on Ali’s ass while they dance. Almost everyone is just as drunk as they are and they’re all well aware of what’s going to happen later so no one seems bothered by these shows of intimacy. In fact, they’re cheered on several times throughout the night. 

 

They dance for hours on end, only stopping when they need a drink (they eventually switch to water, wanting to remember their wedding night) and when they need to go to the bathroom. When the DJ finally calls for the last song, they groan along with everyone else who wants to keep partying, sad that the festivities are almost over. In fact, some of their guests are so reluctant for the party to end that they decide to walk to a bar down the block. They extend an invitation to the newlyweds, who naturally decline the offer. 

 

“Let’s go,” Ali exclaims, taking Ashlyn by the hand and dragging her out of the ballroom as soon as the last song is over, not even bothering to say goodnight to anyone. She leads Ashlyn right to the elevators, verifying that Ashlyn has the key to their suite (which they had Liz and Whitney move their suitcases into earlier) as she punches the elevator button. “Come on, come on,” she whispers, bouncing on her toes. They only have to wait about thirty seconds but based on Ali’s reaction when the doors finally open, one would think they’d waited for an entire year. As soon as the doors close behind them, Ali pushes Ashlyn against the wall, kissing her deeply. 

 

“Oh, God,” Ashlyn moans when Ali moves to her neck, already fumbling with her tie. 

 

When the elevator makes it to the top floor of the hotel, Ali takes Ashlyn’s hand again, pulling her towards their room at the end of the hall. There’s no one around so she holds Ashlyn from behind as Ashlyn opens the door, her hands roaming all over her body. They stumble through the door, giggling at their own unsteadiness as Ali turns to lock the deadbolt behind them. “I’ve been waiting to get you naked all damn day,” Ali says, pushing Ashlyn’s suit coat down her arms and discarding it on the floor. She grabs Ashlyn’s tie next, loosening it enough to get to the buttons of her shirt. 

 

Once Ashlyn is completely bare, every scrap of clothing discarded in a heap on the floor, she turns the tables, pulling the zipper on Ali’s dress down. Although they’re eager to get things moving, she and Ali work carefully to free Ali of her dress, not wanting to damage it in any way. “Holy shit, Alex,” she breathes once she sees the white lace corset and panties that were underneath Ali’s dress. 

 

“Like what you see?” 

 

Ashlyn nods, unable to form words as she gapes at Ali’s body in the lingerie. 

 

“Good. Now take it off,” Ali demands, smirking at the effect she’s having on her wife. 

 

Ashlyn nods again as she immediately complies with the request. She starts with the corset, unhooking it in the back and discarding it on the floor with their other clothes. Finally, she kneels in front of Ali, placing gentle kisses on her hipbones and thighs before hooking her thumbs into the white lace panties, slowly slipping them down Ali’s toned legs. The whole day, especially the reception, was essentially the most expensive foreplay either one of them will ever experience so it comes as no surprise that Ali is already incredibly worked up--as Ashlyn finds out when she pulls one of Ali’s legs over her shoulder to give herself ample space to work. Ali starts moaning within seconds, hands immediately going to Ashlyn’s head to hold her in place as she grinds her hips, getting as much friction as possible from Ashlyn’s tongue. 

 

“Oh, fuck,” Ali moans when she comes a few minutes later, the mixture of alcohol, a night of dancing, and her orgasm making it nearly impossible for her to hold herself up. Ashlyn must sense this predicament as she stands, lifting Ali off of the ground and carrying her over to the bed. 

 

“I have the hottest wife in the entire world,” Ashlyn declares, looking Ali’s body up and down once Ali is on her back in the center of the bed.

 

“No, I have the hottest wife in the entire world,” Ali counters, eyes raking over Ashlyn’s naked body. 

 

“This is not a fair argument,” Ashlyn notes, collapsing next to Ali. “If I agree with you, I’m essentially saying I’m hotter than you and if I don’t agree with you then I’m arguing with my brand new wife.” 

 

Ali laughs, gently rubbing her fingers up and down Ashlyn’s arm. “If we call it a tie can we stop talking about it so I can fuck you?”

 

“I guess,” Ashlyn replies as nonchalantly as possible. 

 

Ali smiles, rolling over so she’s straddling Ashlyn’s hips. She leans forward, kissing Ashlyn passionately. Their bare chests brush against each other as they kiss, adding fuel to their burning desire. “I love you so much,” Ali says in between trailing kisses down Ashlyn’s neck. She sucks and nips as she works, not even caring about the hickies she’s leaving. They’re married now and she can’t bring herself to care about not leaving love bites on visible portions of Ashlyn’s skin, despite the fact that they’re meeting their families for brunch the next morning. 

 

“Alex, I need--” Ashlyn starts, losing her train of thought when Ali takes one of her nipples into her mouth. She moans, arching her back up, needing more as Ali moves to her other nipple. 

 

Ali takes her time ravishing Ashlyn’s body, using all of her own willpower to get Ashlyn as worked up as possible even though they’re both eager for Ashlyn to come. By the time she finally settles between Ashlyn’s legs, there are faint red marks all over Ashlyn’s neck, chest, stomach, and hips--signs of Ali’s love everywhere. She smirks, taking a second to appreciate the view before finally wrapping one arm around Ashlyn’s thighs and using the other to pump into her, immediately going for the spot that drives Ashlyn wild. Ashlyn is already teetering on the edge after so much teasing so she takes mercy on her, using her tongue and fingers to make Ashlyn, her  _ wife _ , come with a loud moan. It’s too much and yet not enough for either one of them as Ali only gives Ashlyn a second to catch her breath, just long enough to lick her fingers clean, before wrapping both arms around her thighs, cleaning Ashlyn up as bit as she works her towards the edge again. This time, she doesn’t feel so guilty about making her wait to come so she takes her time and works her to the brink several times only to pull back a little, smirking when Ashlyn groans in frustration. 

 

“Please, Alex,” Ashlyn begs, head thrown back against the pillows as her orgasm slips out of reach for the fourth time in just ten minutes. “If you don’t make me come, I swear to god I’ll put you in time out and do it myself.”

 

Ali laughs, actually considering not letting her come so she can watch Ashlyn get herself off. 

 

“Don’t you dare,” Ashlyn warns, sensing Ali’s hesitation. “Please, please, please,” she whines. 

 

“Since you asked so nicely,” Ali says, scooting closer to Ashlyn so she can finally push her over the edge. It only takes a few firm flicks of her tongue for Ashlyn to come for the second time, coming so hard that she doesn’t make any sound and Ali briefly worries that she’s actually blacked out. “Holy shit, are you okay?” she asks, moving up to the head of the bed where Ashlyn’s eyes are still closed. 

 

“Never been better,” Ashlyn replies, grinning but keeping her eyes closed. “I just need a minute to recover--I think that was fifty orgasms in one.”

 

“I’m pretty good, aren’t I?” Ali brags, lazily running her hand through Ashlyn’s hair.

 

“So humble but so right,” Ashlyn replies, finally opening her eyes. “Okay, I think I’m good,” she adds, smirking as she finally moves, pinning Ali down to the bed. “You’re breathtaking.”

 

Ali grins, putting one hand to Ashlyn’s cheek. “So are you. You looked so beautiful today--I’m so lucky that you’re mine forever.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So excited to finally have this chapter posted for you guys! 
> 
> Thoughts? Favorite parts/ lines? Anything you want to see in the last few chapters? Predictions or speculation?
> 
> I'm such a sucker for wedding so I have a lot of feelings about this chapter hahaha


	21. honeymoon

Leaving their hotel room the morning after their wedding is a struggle, to say the least. Thanks to their foresight in switching to water halfway through the reception, waking up isn’t much of a problem--it’s untangling themselves from one another’s arms to get ready for brunch. Ali wakes first, right around the time they would normally wake up, and watches Ashlyn sleep for a few minutes, taking in her natural beauty as sunlight streams through a small gap in between the curtains. It’s not often that she gets the chance to watch Ashlyn sleep without Maddie banging down their door, ready to go for the day, so she takes this rare opportunity to appreciate her wife sleeping beside her. Her eyes rake over Ashlyn’s naked form, studying every square inch of her skin until she can no longer keep her hands to herself, running her hand up and down Ashlyn’s side. 

 

“Morning,” Ashlyn rasps, roused by Ali’s wandering hands. 

 

“Morning,” Ali replies, grinning. “You’re so cute when you sleep.”

 

“No need to flatter me now,” Ashlyn chuckles. “You’ve already put a ring on it.”

 

Ali smiles, scooting over to rest her head on Ashlyn’s chest. “I did, didn’t I?” She pauses, nuzzling into Ashlyn’s warm embrace. 

 

“Come on, let’s go take a shower before we fall back asleep,” Ashlyn suggests. They brush their teeth first, already feeling much more refreshed by the time the water is hot. They don’t get to shower together very often (usually only when Maddie is sleeping or spending time with her grandparents) so being able to take a long shower together is a rare treat that they plan on taking full advantage of.

 

“Good morning, wife,” Ali says, standing on her toes and draping her arms over Ashlyn’s shoulders, the warm water rolling down Ashlyn’s back. 

 

“Good morning, wife,” Ashlyn replies, grinning. Her hands rest on Ali’s waist as they kiss deeply. It’s soft and slow at first, perfect lazy morning kisses, but eventually becomes more fervid and their hands eagerly begin to roam. Finally, without warning, Ashlyn pushes Ali against the shower wall, her hand immediately finding the wetness between Ali’s legs. 

 

Ali moans, grinding down on Ashlyn’s hand as she expertly moves her fingers. They’re borderline frantic as they move together, the antithesis of the sweet and gentle lovemaking of the night before. When Ali’s on the edge, Ashlyn slows her pace a little, pinning Ali closer to the shower wall so she can’t move her hips. 

 

“What the fuck?” Ali groans, trying desperately to get that last little bit of friction she needs.

 

“Patience, love,” Ashlyn says, kissing Ali’s cheek sweetly as she slowly starts moving her fingers again. After a few seconds, she stops again, kneeling in front of Ali so she can replace her fingers with her tongue. The change in sensation pushes Ali right back towards the edge despite the brief pauses, much to both of their delight. Her moans are much, much louder than they normally are (which they don’t worry too much about thanks to the privacy of a corner suite on the top floor) and her whole body shakes when she comes, her legs still sore from dancing all night. 

 

“Is it just me or is the sex better now that we’re married?” she asks, slumped against the shower wall as she recovers. 

 

“Definitely not just you.”

 

Ali hums, switching their positions to kneel in front of Ashlyn. “I think more research needs to be done.” She pulls one of Ashlyn’s legs over her shoulder, the only way to get space to move in the small shower. Ali’s tongue and fingers work in tandem to push Ashlyn closer and closer to the edge, Ali getting almost as much pleasure from the act as she’s giving Ashlyn. It never gets old seeing, hearing, feeling, and tasting Ashlyn like this, and Ali can’t quite understand how she ever survived without being the one to make Ashlyn feel so good. They both moan when Ashlyn finally comes and when Ali stands up and kisses her, Ashlyn can taste herself on Ali’s tongue. 

 

They shower quickly after that, wanting to get as much time with Maddie as possible before they leave. When they get dressed, Ashlyn rolls her eyes at the hickies on her neck, knowing that all the coverup in the world wouldn’t be able to make them disappear. Instead, she wears a rolled up bandana around her neck, trying to cover as many as she possibly can (though there’s still one right in the middle of her neck that neither her hair nor the bandana can cover). 

 

“I don’t want to leave the room--I just want to stay here and have sex with you,” Ali complains, searching through her suitcase for something to wear. 

 

Ashlyn shrugs, wordlessly saying that they don’t  _ have  _ to go, although they both know that’s not true. Neither one would ever leave without saying goodbye to Madeline or thanking their parents and bridal parties for making their wedding so special. Besides, once they get to the Bahamas, they won’t have to leave their hotel room for an entire week so they’ll have tons of time to celebrate their marriage. 

 

When they’re finally dressed and ready to go, Ashlyn stands in front of the hotel door, touching the handle. “Remind me why we’re leaving again,” she says. 

 

“To say goodbye to our sweet, wonderful daughter before we leave for a week,” Ali replies. She gently nudges Ashlyn’s hip, eager to get going before they lose their resolve. 

 

They meet with their group at the restaurant on the first floor of the hotel. Everyone else is already there (they spent way too much time in the shower) but nobody seemed surprised by their tardiness. They take their seats on either side of Maddie, thankful that they both get to sit next to her before they’re on their honeymoon and can only see her via FaceTime. Maddie is absolutely delighted to see them as she rambles about something that happened when Deb gave her a bath earlier (most of it is gibberish but they manage to catch the most important words like ‘bath’, ‘splashing’, and ‘time-out’). 

 

“Sounds like you made grandma pretty mad,” Ashlyn notes, kissing the top of Maddie’s head. “You have to be a good girl for them while we’re gone,” she adds. 

 

“How was your night last night?” Tammye asks from across the table. 

 

Chris laughs when Ashlyn fiddles with the red bandana around her neck. “By the size of that hickey and the very inconspicuous bandana that she keeps adjusting, I’d guess it was pretty damn good.”

 

“Little ears, Chris,” Ali admonishes. 

 

“Sorry, pretty darn good.”

 

Ali turns her attention to Ashlyn, whose face is completely flushed. “I’ve never seen you blush that much,” she notes, smirking. She glances down at the hickey in question, suddenly aware of how obvious it is, despite Ashlyn’s best efforts to cover it. She’s kind of proud of herself, if she’s honest, and Ashlyn looks adorable as she squirms in her seat with everyone’s eyes on her. 

 

“She’s probably thinking about last night,” Kyle says. 

 

“And this morning,” Ali adds. 

 

Ashlyn groans, dropping her head into her hands. 

 

“Okay, okay, we’ve teased her enough,” Ali says, reaching for her hand across Maddie’s lap. 

 

“You only said that because it’s your fault,” Ashlyn mumbles. 

 

Ali shrugs, turning her attention to Liz and Carm, both of whom look thoroughly hungover. They both went out after the reception and Ali’s surprised that they’re awake and sitting at the table with everyone, as put together as they could possibly be after a night of heavy drinking. They’re not completely with it--most of their responses to questions come out as grunts and mumbles--so everyone leaves them alone for the most part, letting them recover from the night. Next to them are Niki and Whitney, both of whom opted out of the bar run and look much more refreshed than Ali’s bridesmaids. 

 

“Now the countdown is on to Whit and Ryan’s wedding,” Ali notes.

 

Whitney smiles, looking down at the engagement ring Ryan proposed with over Christmas. “Just a little over six months,” she says, beaming. “I’m so excited.”

 

“I highly recommend it so far,” Ashlyn says, grinning. She looks over to Ali and Maddie, still trying to wrap her head around the fact that she has a wife and daughter (though the daughter thing is easier because she’s pretty much always thought of Maddie in that way). 

 

After brunch, Ali and Ashlyn bid goodbye to everyone except for Ali’s parents and Maddie who are sticking around until the newlyweds have to leave for the airport. “I’m going to miss her so much,” Ashlyn comments, cuddled next to a sleepy Madeline and Ali back in their hotel room. They still have a while before they need to check out of the hotel so they’d taken Maddie up to their suite for a nap while Deb and Ken get their stuff packed back up. 

 

“Let’s just take her with us,” Ali jokingly suggests. 

 

“You think we can still pass her off as under two so she can fly free?”

 

“Probably not.”

 

“What’s the plan when we get home again?” Ashlyn asks although she’s well aware of of the plan, having gone over schedules with Ali about fifty times while they were trying to figure everything out. There’s so much they need to do and Ali rattles them all off easily. First, Ashlyn will file the paperwork to legally change her last name. After that, they’ll meet with the fertility specialist they’ve chosen and make final plans for expanding their family. Then as soon as Ashlyn’s name change is official, they’ll meet with an adoption attorney and begin the adoption process. 

 

“We’re certifiable,” Ashlyn jokes when Ali is done going through the list. 

 

“Maybe a little,” Ali agrees. “We could always wait another year to try for a baby.”

 

Ashlyn hums, rolling to her side so she can see Ali’s face. “Do you want to wait?”

 

Ali shakes her head. “I want another baby.”

 

“Good. So do I,” Ashlyn replies, grinning. “Next kid has a lot to live up to.”

 

“Somehow I think they will, even if they’re great in different ways. They’ll have us as moms so I think they’ll turn out just fine.” She feels giddy talking about another baby, thinking about how a new baby might be different from his or her big sister and the ways in which they might be the same. Becoming moms the first time around was such a special time in their lives and Ali looks forward to doing it again as a married couple this time. She loves watching Maddie grow up and become her own person but part of her, a large part, misses having a baby around and she knows Ashlyn feels the same way. 

 

They don’t leave the hotel until the last possible second, finally turning in their keys at the end of the late checkout period. Ali holds Maddie on her hip, cuddling her close as they say their goodbyes. “Be good for Grandma and Grandpa, okay? We’ll call you every day.”

 

Ashlyn stands nearby, already wiping away tears at the thought of leaving Maddie for so long. It’s the longest and farthest either one of them has ever been away from her and although she’s excited for some private time with Ali, she’s kind of dreading not getting to be there with Maddie for a week. 

 

“It’s okay,” Deb comforts, rubbing Ashlyn’s back. “We’ll take good care of your baby while you take good care of ours.”

 

Ashlyn smiles. “That sounds like a pretty good tradeoff.” She pauses, taking the few steps towards Maddie and Ali. “Here, come to Mama before I start crying again,” she says, taking Maddie out of Ali’s arms. “I love you, sweet girl. We’ll be back soon.”

 

“Love you, Mama,” Maddie says. She puckers up for a kiss before playfully turning her head when Ashlyn leans forward. 

 

“Hey,” Ashlyn exclaims, pretending to be offended. “You little stinker, tickle monster will get you if you don’t give Mama a kiss.”

 

“Okay, okay,” Maddie giggles, leaning in again. She does it again, giving Ashlyn the other cheek this time as Ashlyn tickles her belly and pretends to pout. 

 

“One more try or Mommy tickle monster is going to get you too.”

 

Maddie leans forward again, finally giving Ashlyn a kiss. She grins proudly when Ashlyn puts a hand to her own chest as if she’s never been so honored. They each take one more kiss from Maddie before finally passing her off to Ali’s parents, trying to keep their tears at bay. 

 

“It’s only a week, right?” Ali says as they walk hand in hand to their car. 

 

“Yep, only a week,” Ashlyn replies, squeezing Ali’s hand. “A week of no responsibilities whatsoever and having sex whenever we want. Then before we know it, we’ll have two beautiful screaming kids and we’ll be begging for a few nights alone.”

 

\---

 

The flight from Orlando to the Bahamas doesn’t even give them enough time to watch a movie so they end up talking the entire time instead, going over some of their favorite memories from their wedding and reception. Obviously, a favorite moment was when they finally got to go to their room at the end but they both agree that the most special moment was the first dance with Madeline. Everything else (except maybe their vows) pales in comparison to sharing their first dance as a family to that song and is something they’ll remember for the rest of their lives. 

 

“I’m so happy we’re finally married,” Ali says, laying her head down on Ashlyn’s shoulder as they descend into the Bahamas. “Everything happened exactly as it was supposed to.”

 

Ashlyn smiles, kissing the top of Ali’s head. They turn their heads a little, just enough to watch as the islands come into view. “Beautiful but not as beautiful as you,” Ashlyn says. She’s being cheesy but they both know that she’s completely sincere. Even before they got together, no one ever made Ali feel as beautiful or special than Ashlyn did. Ashlyn has a special way of always making people feel loved and valued--is always the person to halt a conversation to ask someone what they were going to say if others are talking over them--and Ali feels incredibly fortunate to be married to someone like that, to have her as the mother of her children. 

 

It’s evening by the time they get to the resort so their stomachs growl as they get checked in. Neither feels like going anywhere once they get to their suite, not even to the restaurant downstairs, so they decide to order room service so they can relax (and make out) while they eat. It doesn’t take long before sweet, stolen kisses in between bites turn into bites every few kisses and, before they know it, their food is completely forgotten as they begin stripping each other of their clothes. 

 

“Man, I really went to town on these hickies,” Ali comments. She runs her hands down Ashlyn’s bare torso, appreciating all the little marks she’d left, each one of them announcing to the world that Ashlyn is hers. 

 

“I have no idea how I’m going to walk around in a bathing suit with hickies everywhere,” Ashlyn says. 

 

“Then I guess we just have to stay in our room the whole time. We have beaches at home.”

 

Ashlyn smirks, leaning in to kiss Ali again. She takes Ali’s bottom lip in between her teeth, biting lightly. When Ali whimpers in response, Ashlyn moves to straddle her lap, no longer able to control herself anymore. She puts one hand behind Ali’s head as she leans forward, forcing Ali to lay back onto the pillows. 

 

“Ash,” Ali whines, shifting her legs as she tries to get any sort of friction.

 

Ashlyn doesn’t give her what she wants, not yet, instead choosing to ravish every inch of her wife’s body as she moves lower and lower. First, she moves from her lips to her jawline, trailing gentle kisses until she reaches the pulse point behind her ear which she pays extra special attention to, knowing how much Ali loves it. When she abandons that spot, she moves down Ali’s neck, never staying in one place for too long (unlike Ali who loves focusing on a few spots until they're red). She spend so much time building up to it that by the time she even makes contact with Ali’s breasts, Ali makes it seem like she might come from that alone. At the beginning of their relationship, Ali was still nursing so Ashlyn couldn't really give Ali’s nipples too much attention without making them more sore than they already were. She's always been a breast girl (and ass and everything else, if she's honest) so although Ashlyn knows she’d ravish Ali’s nipples regardless, part of her still feels like she's always making up for those few months during which she didn't get to play with them too much. 

 

“Come on,” Ali begs. “At least use your fingers to make me come while you act like my boobs are one of the seven wonders of the world.”

 

Ashlyn laughs, resting her head on Ali’s chest for a moment. “Two of the seven wonders of the world, actually.” 

 

“Oh yeah? What are the other five?” 

 

“Your ass, your orgasm face, your tongue, Maddie, and the fact that you love me,” Ashlyn rattles off, grinning. 

 

“Yeah, well, if you don't get a move on, you're never going to see my orgasm face and the last one might be in jeopardy as well.” 

 

“Okay, okay,” Ashlyn gives in. She snakes her way farther down Ali’s body, only stopping for a few seconds to nip at her hip bones and upper thighs before finally settling in between her legs. She continuously changes the tempo--alternating between hard and soft licks, between frantic and slow as if she’s swinging between lust and love, frustrating Ali to no end. 

 

The alternating sensations drives Ali absolutely wild as she teeters near the edge. Just when she thinks she’s going to come, Ashlyn slows the pace down a bit and she finds herself writhing desperately again, trying to get more friction. “Fuck, Ash, right there,” she moans. She tangles her hands in Ashlyn’s hair, holding her in place for a semblance of control over the situation. This does little to deter Ashlyn from slowing the pace again, now moving so gently that Ali can hardly feel it. She’s about to protest, to tell her to get a move on, when Ashlyn ups the ante, immediately moving more forcefully. “Holy shit,” she breathes, feeling herself quickly building towards orgasm. She moans, unable to form coherent thoughts as she finally comes, her body going rigid before relaxing completely, giving into pleasure. 

 

“Hi,” Ashlyn says, smirking when she curls up next to Ali. She gently brushes Ali’s sweaty, sex toussled hair away from her face as Ali recovers, her eyes closed in her blissful state. She studies Ali’s face--loving every curve and contour, every pore and freckle. Her beauty is captivating, so striking that Ashlyn has never been able to keep her eyes off of her, and Ashlyn loves quiet, intimate moments like these when she gets to slow down and truly appreciate Ali’s beauty. 

 

“Are you thinking about how beautiful I am again?” Ali quips, rolling onto her side, meeting her wife’s eyes. 

 

“When am I ever not thinking about how beautiful you are?”

 

“When you’re thinking about how beautiful Maddie is,” Ali reasons. 

 

Ashlyn laughs. “It’s almost like you can read my mind.”

 

“By now, I absolutely can.”

 

“Oh yeah? What am I thinking right now?”

 

“I’ll show you,” Ali replies, straddling Ashlyn’s hips. She smirks when she hears Ashlyn’s sharp intake of breath. “Off to a good start, aren’t I?” 

 

Ashlyn nods, unable to speak as Ali leans forward and captures one of her nipples in her mouth. She wants to tell her no more hickies in case they actually do want to make it down to the beach at some point to actually see where they’re honeymooning but she doesn’t have to (maybe Ali really can read her mind) as Ali simply places light kisses all over her torso while she laces their fingers together. When she gets to Ashlyn’s hips, she trails kisses back up Ashlyn’s body, finally reaching her lips again. She deepens the kiss quickly, moving one hand in between Ashlyn’s legs. Ashlyn moans into the kiss, eliciting a smirk from Ali at the effect she’s already having. She moves her fingers expertly, bringing Ashlyn to release in no time and collapsing onto her chest as she makes her come. 

 

\---

 

They eventually do make it out of their suite. After spending their entire first night and day in their room, they decide that the next day should be a beach day to unwind from the craziness of the wedding. They even explore the island for a bit, spending the entire day in the sun until they're both sun tired and in desperate need of a FaceTime session with Maddie. 

 

“Hi, baby,” Ali greets, grinning as Maddie and Deb come on screen. 

 

Maddie smiles, immediately leaning forward to give the phone a kiss. 

 

“Mama’s here too,” Ali says, turning the phone so Ashlyn and Maddie can see each other. “Give her a kiss too.”

 

“Oh, big kiss,” Ashlyn says, watching Maddie in delight. “I miss you.”

 

“Miss you,” Maddie says.

 

Maddie quickly loses interest in talking, jumping off of Deb’s lap to go play with her toys so Ali and Ashlyn continue chatting with Deb and Ken while Deb aims the camera at Maddie playing on the floor, letting them watch what she’s doing. They tell them all about their resort and the time they spent on the beach that day--immensely relieved that they actually left their hotel room and have things they can tell Ali’s parents about (they have a sneaking suspicion they wouldn’t want to hear about all the amazing, uninterrupted sex they’re having). They get Maddie’s attention again just as it’s time to say goodbye, making kissy faces back and forth with her until she starts asking Deb for a bath. 

 

The next few days pass much the same as the first few. They relax on the beach or by the pool; they have sex whenever and wherever they want (at least within their suite--Ashlyn tried and failed to convince Ali to try hammock sex when they were the only ones on the beach one night); they drink tropical drinks and wander into gift shops, buying far too many t-shirts and stuffed animals for Maddie. It’s everything a honeymoon should be: peaceful, romantic, and relaxing and both women find themselves dreading their departure. On their last morning, just hours before their flight back home, Ali insists on waking up in time to watch the sunrise from the beach. Ashlyn grumbles but is actually excited about the prospect as they throw comfy clothes on and head down to the pristine beach. They end up cuddling on one of the hotel’s large chaise loungers as they wait for the sun to come up and are there no more than five minutes when an older couple takes the one next to them--the four of them the only ones on the beach. 

 

“What has you kids up so early?” the older woman asks. 

 

Ali smiles, turning to face the older couple. “We wanted to watch the sunrise before we have to go home later today.”

 

“Honeymoon?” the woman’s husband asks. 

 

“Yes, sir,” Ashlyn says, grinning as she and Ali shift the positions so they can both see their new friends. 

 

“I’m Mary and this is my husband, Richard,” the woman introduces. 

 

“Ali and this is my wife, Ashlyn.”

 

The four of them chat as the sun comes up and the beach slowly fills with more and more people. Ali can’t resist mentioning how excited they are to get home and see their daughter after their week long honeymoon and return to their own personal paradise (living near the ocean helps). They learn that Mary and Richard have been married for fifty years and that their kids, all of whom are grown and live all across the U.S., threw them a surprise anniversary party and gifted them with this trip. They also learn that they first met in middle school when Mary moved into the house next door to Richard so they share similar experiences in transitioning from friendship to a relationship. After a week of just the two of them (with a few calls to Maddie mixed in), the companionship is nice and they’re able to get a glimpse of what their own future might look like. They only bid goodbye when they realize they only have a few hours before they need to be at the airport.

 

“They were so nice,” Ali comments, swinging Ashlyn’s hand as they walk back to the hotel. “Can you believe that’s going to be us one day?”

 

“As long as you don’t get sick of me by then.”

 

“Please,” Ali scoffs. “If I’m not sick of you by now, I’ll never be. You’re stuck with me until we’re old and retired and our kids send us on dream vacations for our anniversary.”

 

“I can’t get over the fact that they have six kids,” Ashlyn says.

 

“Yeah, that’s awesome for them but we’re not doing that,” Ali warns as Ashlyn swipes the room key through the lock. 

 

Ashlyn huffs as if she’s disappointed, eliciting an eye roll from Ali. 

 

“No way,” Ali asserts. “We’re not having six kids.”

 

“Five?”

 

“Three.”

 

“Fine,” Ashlyn agrees, dimple showing as she smiles. “Wait three total or three more?”

 

Ali playfully rolls her eyes. “Let’s just have baby number two first and then we’ll talk.” She grasps Ashlyn’s shirt in her hands, using the leverage to pull her in for a kiss. “But for now, we only have a little time left with just the two of us and I think we need to make the most of it.”

 

Ashlyn hums, backing up towards the bed until she feels the mattress pressing against the back of her knees, collapsing onto it and pulling Ali down with her. They stip their clothes quickly, increasingly aware of how little time they have to pack before they leave. 

 

“You’re so hot,” Ali groans, watching as Ashlyn scoots her way up towards the head of the bed once they’re completely bare, their clothes strewn about the room. She lovingly kisses her way up Ashlyn’s calves and thighs, skipping right over where Ashlyn needs her as she makes her way up to her torso. She’s been taking it easy on the visible hickies since they got to the Bahamas (they do have to get back to real life once they’re home) but she takes the time to leave a few more on Ashlyn’s breasts, a little memento from the last few hours of their honeymoon. 

 

“Alex, no time,” Ashlyn warns as Ali starts working on a fourth hickey. 

 

Ali groans, knowing Ashlyn is right. She moves a hand between Ashlyn’s legs, stroking her as she continues working the fresh hickey on her chest. When she can tell Ashlyn is close, she abandons the hickey so she can capture Ashlyn’s nipple in between her teeth. The move had the desired effect as Ashlyn comes around her fingers almost instantly. She smiles contentedly, resting her head on Ashlyn’s chest while she waits for her to catch her breath again. “Okay, my turn,” she exclaims, rolling onto her back. 

 

“Yes, Queen,” Ashlyn replies, smirking as she moves to straddle Ali’s hips. She palms her breasts in her hands, watching as Ali’s back arches a little at the touch. Then she captures Ali’s hands in her own, lacing their fingers together as she pins Ali’s hands above her head. She knows they don’t have much time left unless they plan on leaving all their belongings behind so she leans forward, immediately going for the spot on Ali’s collarbone that drives both of them wild. 

 

“Yes,” Ali moans, adjusting her legs a little to get any sort of friction. 

 

“So eager,” Ashlyn comments as she kisses her way down Ali’s torso, still holding Ali’s hands. When she gets low enough on Ali’s body that she can’t hold them above her head anymore, she lets go, wrapping her arms around her wife’s thighs. 

 

“Ash please,” Ali whines as Ashly just stares at her. “Please, please, please.”

 

“You are drop dead gorgeous--you know that, right? Everything about you: mind, body, soul. Everything.” 

 

Ali softens for a second, meeting Ashlyn’s gaze. “That’s very sweet of you but for the love of God will you please just fuck me?”

 

Ashlyn smiles at Ali’s brashness, not surprised by anything she says anymore. When they’d first started dating, it was a little strange to hear Ali say some of the things she says and bed (and to say them to Ali herself) because it was the one side of her she had never seen before. She had already seen her in almost every other emotional state but this was a side that was completely new to her. It was different (in the best possible way, of course) and it took some getting used to. “Since you asked so nicely,” she says, moving to get a little more comfortable. She laps at Ali eagerly, almost as eager as Ali herself, savoring her taste as she drives her closer and closer to the edge. She almost pulls away at the last second, intent on teasing her, but she doesn’t want to face her wrath if they’re late for the airport so she starts moving more forcefully, moaning herself at Ali’s powerful orgasm.

 

\---

 

Their flight back to Orlando ends up getting delayed due to thunderstorms in their path so by the time they finally make it home, Maddie is already bathed and in her pajamas. “Mama, Mommy,” she squeals, jumping off the couch and running towards the door. She crashes into their legs, trying to hug both of them at the same time. 

 

“Hi, honey,” Ali greets. She and Ashlyn both crouch down to Madeline’s level, pulling her into a family hug. 

 

Ashlyn holds Maddie and Ali close, breathing in the scent of Maddie’s strawberry shampoo. “I’ve missed you so much,” she says. 

 

“Miss you,” Maddie replies. She nuzzles into Ashlyn’s neck before moving back to Ali’s, unable to decide which mom she wants to cuddle more. 

 

“Were you a good girl for grandma and grandpa?”

 

“She was an angel,” Deb says, making her way over from the couch as well. “Well, most of the time--she did have a bit of a meltdown when I wouldn’t let her take raw chicken out of the fridge and play with it.”

 

Ali stands, pulling her mom into a hug while Ashlyn picks Maddie up, both of them needing to cuddle each other longer. “Thanks for bringing her here to wait.”

 

“No problem, sweetie. It seemed easier since your flight was so late. Did you have a good time?”

 

“It was the best,” Ashlyn replies, stepping forward to give Deb a one armed hug (she still has Maddie in the other). “Other than the delayed flight, of course.”

 

“Good, good,” Deb says, smiling. “Well I’ll let you three get settled back in. Love you.”

 

“Love you,” Ali and Ashlyn say in unison as Maddie waves goodbye. 

 

“It’s cuddle time,” Ashlyn declares as soon as Ali locks the door after Deb. The suitcases can wait until morning, they decide, so they leave them in the entryway as they make their way to the master bedroom. 

 

“It feels so good to be home,” Ali says, curling up next to Maddie. It’s the longest they’ve ever been away from her and although it was for a good reason, she’s never been happier to come home. Of course they’d enjoyed their peace and quiet but everything seemed just a little too quiet without Madeline there--making them feel as if part of them was missing despite how much fun they had. No matter where they go, they always miss Maddie when she’s not there--things feel just a little sweeter, more whole when they’re together as a family. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, let me know what you think :) I've worked really hard on this story and I love reading your feedback 
> 
> only four chapters left after this :/


	22. homework

Easing back into real life is easier than either woman expected and it feels as if they’d never left after just a few days back home. The Monday after they get back, Ashlyn files the paperwork to legally change her last name, bringing Maddie along with her while Ali is at work. The process is surprisingly easy, leaving the two of them enough time to get ice cream together before they have to go home for nap time. Then on Friday when Ali gets off of work, they drop Maddie off with Tammye for their final consultation with their fertility specialist, Doctor Lee. 

 

Their first consultation with Dr. Lee, a few months before their wedding, had been an onslaught of information and choices that they had to make so although they did their research beforehand, they felt wholly unprepared for everything they discussed. First, they had to decide between three different processes, all of which have far too similar acronyms, making it very difficult to remember which one was which. Ultimately, they’d selected the second tier option, IUI, and set out on selecting a donor, choosing one that seemed like the right combination of brains and looks. Luckily, this second consultation doesn't require them to make any other complex decisions--it’s mostly to go over what to expect during the procedure. Dr. Lee assures them that the procedure is quick and painless--though Ali might experience a little discomfort. Although they haven’t had problems with fertility, as many IUI patients do, they still decide to up their chances for conception with medication that makes Ali ovulate. They closely monitor Ali’s ovulation schedule for the next three weeks, making several trips back to Dr. Lee and taking dozens of home ovulation tests to determine the best window for conception. 

 

“How do you feel?” Ashlyn asks the night before the procedure is set to take place. 

 

Ali sighs, leaning into Ashlyn’s embrace as they cuddle in bed. “I’m nervous; I want to make a baby,” she replies. 

 

“So do I,” Ashlyn says, grinning. “It might take a few tries but it’ll work out.” She pauses, kissing Ali’s forehead. They’re silent for a moment, lost in their own thoughts about what’s to come.

 

Last time, Ali was taking measures to prevent getting pregnant. Combined with birth control, she was also careful to make Matt wear condoms and never really worried that she would get pregnant while using both methods. Somewhere along the line, however, she missed a birth control pill (which she realized only after the positive pregnancy test) and was blessed with Maddie. Now to get pregnant, they had to go through the arduous yet exciting process of selecting a donor, doctor’s appointments, and medication. “It was much less complicated last time,” she notes, meeting Ashlyn’s eyes. 

 

Ashlyn laughs. “It was pretty easy for me, all I had to do was answer your phone call. Oh, and make you fall in love with me.”

 

“I was already in love with you.”

 

“Like I said, easy.” She runs a gentle hand through Ali’s hair, loving the way Ali leans into her touch. She wishes there was a way they could guarantee that the procedure will work to help put their minds at ease but she knows that’s not how any of this works so she resolves herself to a tense few weeks while they wait for the results. 

 

Neither woman gets much sleep that night, too nervous about what’s to come. Sure, they know what to expect from the procedure itself--they’d gone over everything with Dr. Lee--but their emotions are heightened and they need to mentally prepare themselves for the outcome, good or bad. 

 

In the morning, Ali drinks so much coffee that her nervous energy turns into caffeine jitters as she readies herself for a half day at work. Ashlyn, meanwhile, sleepily welcomes Maddie into their bed and falls back asleep as Maddie watches Disney Junior. The extra sleep doesn’t last long, however, as Maddie soon becomes bored with the television and is determined to wake Ashlyn up. She leans forward, getting close to Ashlyn’s face, before putting her hands up like claws and letting out a high pitches, blood curdling scream like something out of a horror movie, eliciting a quiet but very real scream from Ashlyn as she wakes suddenly. 

 

“I scare Mama,” Maddie giggles as Ashlyn puts a hand to her rapidly beating heart. 

 

“Yes, you did,” Ashlyn confirms, still recovering from the scare. “You’re very scary.” she pulls her close, hoping to keep her still for a few more minutes so she can fully wake up. Her attempts are futile as Maddie wiggles out of her grasp and sits up on her chest. 

 

“Up, Mama,” she demands, poking Ashlyn’s face. 

 

“I’m up,” Ashlyn promises, lifting Maddie off of her so she can finally sit up. “Oh, what are we signing up for?” she grumbles, finally letting Maddie drag her downstairs. She’s about to put another pot of coffee on when she sees a note from Ali stuck to the pot telling her that there’s a mug in the microwave for her. “Mommy’s the best, isn’t she?” she asks Maddie who’s eating cereal at the table. 

 

“Yep,” Maddie says, much more interested in her breakfast than what Ashlyn is saying. 

 

The good thing about Maddie keeping her busy all morning is that she doesn’t have much time to sit and think about how tired she is or watch the clock and wonder about the procedure they have scheduled in the afternoon. Maddie wants to go to the beach after breakfast, which Ashlyn can never say no to. After they get their bathing suits on, Ashlyn helps slather Maddie in sunscreen and packs a little beach bag with their sunglasses, towels, water, snacks, toys, and Maddie’s life jacket. The sun simultaneously wakes her up and makes her more tired at the same time so when they return home for Maddie’s nap, she ends up falling asleep right next to her. 

 

“Honey,” Ali says gently, trying to rouse Ashlyn when she gets home from work. She gently shakes her shoulder, doing her best to wake Ashlyn without disturbing Maddie who still needs to sleep before they drop her off with Tammye. 

 

“Oh, god, I fell asleep,” Ashlyn mumbles, rolling over to look up at Ali. “Sorry, I was going to do chores after the beach but I guess I needed a nap too.”

 

Ali smiles, helping Ashlyn out of bed. “Just get yourself ready and don’t make us late, okay? We have a baby to make.”

 

“Got it,” Ashlyn says, pulling Ali in for a kiss. 

 

Maddie chats excitedly the entire way to Tammye’s, telling Ali all about their day at the beach. At two and a half, her language capabilities seem to grow exponentially every month as she picks up on new words and learns to string longer sentences together. Other than no longer changing dirty diapers, it’s one of their favorite things about Maddie’s age. They love that she’s learning to express herself through words, that she’s becoming her own person, and they encourage her growth every single day. 

 

When they say goodbye to her in Tammye’s entryway, Maddie looks up at Ali with a very serious expression on her face. “Be good for Mama,” she says, repeating the sentence Ali says to her everyday before she leaves for work (at least while Ashlyn is on summer vacation). 

 

Ali tries to stifle her laugh, putting on a serious expression of her own as she nods at her daughter’s warning. “Promise,” she says, bending down to kiss Maddie on the forehead. 

 

“Oh, that was priceless,” Ashlyn laughs as she and Ali walk hand in hand back to the car. Maddie often reminds her of Ali in both looks (which is obvious to everyone as even strangers make comments about it sometimes) and personality but it’s never as apparent as it is when she tries to boss them around. She loves it. 

 

“What if I don’t want to be good for you?” Ali questions, smirking once she’s taken her place in the passenger seat. 

 

“I wouldn’t object to that,” Ashlyn replies, thinking of everything they usually do when they drop Maddie off for time with her grandparents. “But don’t start now or we’ll never make it to our appointment.”

 

They talk throughout the drive, keeping their minds off of how much they want this procedure to work. It’s relatively easy--they always seem to have too much to talk about, never having enough time to fit everything into their days, and as long as the conversation doesn’t lag, they don’t think too much about what’s to come. When they finally make it to the clinic, however, their nerves return and they take turns comforting each other before finally getting out of the car, ready to take on this new adventure. 

 

Ali grips Ashlyn’s hand tightly as they make their way into the clinic, as hopeful and ready as she could possibly be. 

 

The procedure itself isn’t too bad--there’s only minor discomfort when Dr. Lee inserts and removes the thin catheter which almost feels like nothing to Ali after already experiencing labor and delivery. When it’s over, Dr. Lee removes her gloves and leaves the room, promising she’ll be back in a few minutes.

 

“How do you feel?” Ashlyn asks, holding Ali’s hand. 

 

“Violated. A little like I should take Doctor Lee out to dinner.”

 

“I’m serious, Al.”

 

Ali leans up for a kiss, proving that she’s fine. “It wasn’t that bad, honestly. I’m good.” Ashlyn’s about to lean down for another kiss when they hear the doorknob turn and Dr. Lee enters the room again.

 

“You’re good to go, but I do have homework for you,” Dr. Lee says. “Don’t worry, I think you’ll like it,” she adds upon seeing Ali and Ashlyn’s confused expressions. 

 

“Whatever it is, we’ll do it,” Ashlyn promises, squeezing Ali’s hand tighter. 

 

Dr. Lee smiles. “Have sex as much as possible for the next twenty-four hours. I know you already have a daughter so it might be a challenge but basically, the more orgasms Ali has, the more likely it is for the sperm to reach the egg follicle.”

 

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” Ashlyn quips. 

 

“I thought you’d be willing to do your part,” Dr. Lee replies, grinning. “Other than that, let me know if you have any complications. Then I’ll see you back here in two weeks to find out if you’re pregnant.”

 

They each thank the doctor, promising once again that they’ll do their homework before heading to their car. They’re supposed to pick Maddie up from Ashlyn’s mom so when Ashlyn navigates towards their house instead of Tammye’s, Ali can’t help but ask if she’s forgetting something. 

 

“Already texted my mom, we’re going to pick her up after dinner so we can work on our homework,” Ashlyn replies, grinning. 

 

“I’ve never seen you so excited about homework, usually you wanted to copy off of mine,” Ali quips as Ashlyn pulls into their driveway. 

 

“Somehow I think I won’t mind this homework. I mean, Doctor’s orders that I make you come as many times as you can stand. That’s way more fun than algebra.”

 

They're quiet as they make their way up to the bedroom, closing the door behind them even though they're home alone. They start slow, making out as they stand in front of their bed. 

 

“This is much more romantic than the doctor’s office,” Ali comments when they pause to catch their breath. 

 

Ashlyn hums as she lifts Ali’s shirt over her head, working to strip them both of their clothes. She gently eases Ali down onto the bed, immediately reconnecting their lips once Ali is settled onto her pillow. She starts slow, stroking Ali with her fingers as she kisses her neck. When that’s not enough, Ali gently nudges her lower, wordlessly telling her what she wants. 

 

“As you wish, Queen,” Ashlyn whispers, kissing the inside of Ali’s thigh before she starts using her tongue and fingers in perfect tandem. 

 

“Ash, yes,” Ali moans, grinding her hips a little to match Ashlyn’s rhythm. 

 

Ashlyn is relentless. While she usually enjoys teasing Ali to the point of begging, she knows it’s not the time for that, keeping the doctor’s orders in mind. She’s not exactly sure if this will help them or not but when the instructions require her to make her beautiful, sexy, adorable wife come as many times as she can stand, it’s something she’s more than thrilled to try no matter what. So she teases her a little--just enough to not completely sacrifice quality for quantity--but mostly stays focused on her goal. She makes her come once, twice, three times before Ali finally pulls her up to the head of the bed, too sensitive to let her continue.

 

“I think we’re off to a good start,” Ali muses. She’s smiling in her adorable and blissful post sex way, delighting Ashlyn to no end. 

 

Ashlyn grins, clearly proud of her handiwork. “I think we should add a few more for good measure. You know, doctor’s orders and all that.”

 

“Right, right,” Ali agrees, gently moving her hands up and down Ashlyn’s side. “But first, I think I need to take care of you,” she says. She slips one hand in between Ashlyn’s legs, finding her incredibly wet. “Well someone was enjoying her homework,” she quips. 

 

Ashlyn moans, whatever response she might have come up with lost before it could even form in her mind. She’s already teetering on the edge of release after just a few quick strokes of Ali’s fingers--a combination between Ali knowing her body and being unbelievably turned on from making Ali come three times in a row. Most times, Ali would have flipped their positions long ago, intent on giving Ashlyn pleasure, so the fact that she got to make Ali come three times before getting to seek her own release pushed her as close to the edge as she could possibly get without actually being touched. “Shit, fuck,” she moans, writhing under Ali’s touch. She tries to hold on, to draw out her own pleasure, but she can’t quite help herself when Ali replaces her fingers with her tongue. She gasps when she comes, body immediately going slack against the pillows. 

 

“Hi,” Ali says sweetly when she finally lays down next to her. 

 

“Hi,” Ashlyn replies. “How you feeling? You want to go again?”

 

“I think I can go for one more,” Ali says, brushing wispy hairs away from Ashlyn’s face. “But I’m starving so make it quick,” she adds. 

 

“No promises.” 

 

She's still well aware of how sensitive Ali is after coming three times in fairly quick succession so she's a little more gentle than she might otherwise be--to the point that Ali begs her for more friction, more pressure. 

 

“Oh God,” Ali moans when Ashlyn gives in and starts moving more forcefully, giving Ali everything she needs. She moans Ashlyn’s name when she comes and she can feel Ashlyn’s smirk as she gently uses her tongue to clean her up, carefully avoiding her ultra sensitive clit. She’s still for a moment, taking deep breaths and enjoying the blissful, worry free state that always follows sex with Ashlyn. It hasn’t always been like that with her partners. With her high school boyfriend, sex was so awkward and clumsy that she couldn’t wait to get dressed after they’d had sex. She got more comfortable with herself as she got older but no one has ever made her feel as safe and secure as Ashlyn does. No one has ever made her feel as beautiful. Her body is different now than it was when she was seventeen--age and having a baby tends to have that effect on a person’s body--but Ashlyn has never not made her feel like the most beautiful person in the world and she loves moments like these when they get to cuddle skin on skin and without interruption.

 

“You think it’s working?” Ashlyn questions, brushing a thumb over Ali’s abdomen as if she’s trying to feel if anything’s happening in there. 

 

“I don’t know,” Ali replies honestly. “It’s different because last time it was so unexpected and I was doing things to avoid getting pregnant so I didn’t really think about whether it was happening or not, you know? I tried to write off every pregnancy symptom for so long because I was afraid and now there’s nothing I want more so I feel like I’ll be looking for signs that tell me one way or the other for the next few weeks.”

 

“There’s nothing I want more either,” Ashlyn agrees, grinning. 

 

They cuddle for a few more minutes until Ali’s stomach growls and cuts through their peaceful, content silence. It’s already a little later than they’d usually eat dinner so they heat up leftover pizza and breadsticks before Ashlyn heads to her mom’s house to get Maddie, leaving Ali home so she can relax after their long afternoon. Maddie is a little rambunctious when they return home and they don’t have to wonder why as she proudly announces that Nannie (as she calls Ashlyn’s mom) made her a strawberry milkshake after dinner. She crashes not too long after that, falling asleep in Ali’s arms as the three of them watch  _ Tangled  _ together. 

 

“Man, she’s out,” Ali comments as she gently lays Madeline down in her bed. Ashlyn smiles, tucking Maddie in under her princess comforter. 

 

“Good, or we’d never finish our homework otherwise,” Ashlyn says, taking Ali’s hand and leading her out of Maddie’s room, quietly shutting the door behind them. 

 

“You’re just loving this whole thing, aren’t you?” Ali questions, pausing just outside their bedroom so she can face Ashlyn.

 

Ashlyn shrugs. “We can’t actually make a baby together ourselves so I do love that there’s at least something I can do to make it more likely--especially when that something is getting to make love to my beautiful wife.”

 

“Well, if it works, this is all good practice for the next nine months because I’m going to be all over you at every opportunity.”

 

“And I’m going to worship the ground you walk on and give you everything you want.”

 

“As if you don’t already do both of those things,” Ali quips, pushing their bedroom door open and leading Ashlyn inside. 

 

They’re both tired, a combination of not getting enough sleep the night before and expending all their energy while they were home alone, so they move soft and slow but with a sense of purpose, especially Ashlyn who’s taking her job very seriously. They both know they don’t really have control over whether Ali gets pregnant or not but they at least feel like they’re being proactive. Even if their chances increase only by a couple of percentage points, they’re more than happy to keep going well after they pass the point of exhaustion. Besides, they know that the next few weeks are going to feel like some of the longest of their lives so they’re savoring this opportunity to take their minds off of things. 

 

\---

 

The next few weeks pass excruciatingly slowly. Ashlyn is still on summer vacation and while she’s always loved having summers off, especially now that they have Maddie, she finds herself envious of Ali who gets to go to work and focus on things other than the potential pregnancy. At first, they both look for any type of sign that Ali might be pregnant for the first week before finally sitting down together and deciding that they can’t read into things so much because they could end up disappointed in the end. They need to keep their expectations in check and focus on things they can control, like scheduling a meeting with an adoption attorney for the Thursday after their follow-up appointment with Dr. Lee. 

 

Maddie is also an excellent distraction from their nerves. She recently started going to dance class twice a week so Ali and Ashlyn spend those evenings sitting with other parents and a few nannies during the hour long lessons, getting to know the parents while they watch their toddlers learn (and promptly forget) basic choreography. Maddie seems to love it and is usually the first one to the ballet barres when the instructor begins class, earning praise for her excellent listening skills while some of the other kids are reluctant to leave their parents’ embrace. 

 

On the night before their follow up appointment, Ali doesn’t even need to ask Ashlyn if Maddie can sleep in their bed that night because Ashlyn already has her in there by the time she’s done running through her nighttime beauty care routine. 

 

“You okay with her sleeping with us?” Ashlyn questions as Ali gets settled into bed. 

 

“Of course,” Ali replies, smiling. “I was actually going to suggest this.” 

 

In addition to simply loving to cuddle with her, letting her sleep in their bed for the night also serves as a reminder of everything they already have and eases their minds a little so they don’t worry as much about whether the test will be positive or not. They already have so, so much in their lives and while right now it feels like everything is hinging on this one IUI cycle, they still have so much to be thankful for no matter the outcome of the test. They have their health, they have each other--they’ve always had each other but it’s much, much sweeter now that they’re married--and they have Maddie, the light of their lives. So as much as they want another baby, it’s important to be cognizant of everything else they’re fortunate to have. They cuddle each other close that night, as if they’re huddled together for warmth despite it being summer in Florida, and fall into an easy, restful sleep knowing that there’s nothing they can do now to change tomorrow’s outcome. 

 

Ashlyn dreams about a baby that night. She dreams that Ali is pregnant with a baby boy, a son who looks so much like Ali and Maddie and Kyle. It feels so vivid, almost like she could roll over at that exact moment and feel this baby kick underneath Ali’s skin or like she could walk down to the spare bedroom and lift him out of his crib. When she wakes in the morning, she tries to convince herself it was wishful thinking, trying to keep her expectations low, but part of her, a large part, feels like maybe it was mother’s intuition. She doesn’t want to get Ali’s hopes up so she keeps the dream to herself as they get ready for the appointment but her own mind is at ease and senses that Ali is calmer than expected as well. 

 

“It’s going to be okay no matter what,” Ashlyn assures, holding Ali’s hand as they sit in their car outside the clinic. 

 

Ali nods, squeezing Ashlyn’s hand. “We have each other and we have Maddie and we can always try again if it didn’t work, right?”

 

“Right,” Ashlyn agrees. “Now let’s go find out if we got an A on our homework.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slight delay--real life got pretty busy so I didn't have much time to edit. 
> 
> Favorite parts? Anything you hope to see? Any ideas for one shots in this universe (I can't promise anything but I'm open to suggestions!)?
> 
> And sorry not sorry about the little cliffhanger ;)


	23. Chapter 23

“Morning, ladies,” Dr. Lee greets when she calls their name, leading them back to the examination room. They’d perfectly timed their arrival so they didn’t have to spend too much time in the waiting room, knowing that it would only increase their anxiety. They all take a seat in the examination room, Ali and Ashlyn facing the doctor. “How are you been feeling? Any sore breasts, cramping, or anything of the sort?” Dr. Lee asks once they’re settled. 

 

“No cramping but my breasts have been a little tender,” Ali replies. “But other than that I’ve felt good.”

 

“Good, good,” Dr. Lee replies, smiling. “I don’t need you for very long today, we’ll just draw some blood for your beta test and give you a call as soon as we get the results back. Does that sound okay?” Ali and Ashlyn both nod so she continues, “we usually have the results back within a few hours--we know you’re anxious to find out--so go relax and have lunch or something after this and we’ll call you as soon as possible. We’ll be looking for your hCG levels to be above fifty for this first test to confirm pregnancy then we’ll go from there, okay?”

 

“Got it,” Ali replies, lifting the sleeve of her shirt up to reveal her upper arm as Dr. Lee readies herself to take the blood sample. The whole thing takes less than a minute before they say their goodbyes and make their way back to the car. 

 

The next two hours pass so slowly that Ashlyn actually thinks her watch is broken, pulling and pushing the little crown to ensure that it’s not actually stuck. They both try to eat lunch but end up picking at their chicken caesar salads as they sit at the kitchen table and anxiously await the call from Dr. Lee’s office. 

 

“This is the craziest feeling,” Ashlyn comments. “Is this how you felt the last time?”

 

“Not really,” Ali replies, finally giving up on her salad and leading Ashlyn to the living room, sitting on her lap on the couch. “Last time I already knew I was pregnant well before I took the test and I was more afraid than excited. I have a really, really good feeling about this though; I just wish they would call with the results already.” 

 

“So do I,” Ashlyn agrees, thinking back to her dream. “I had a dream you were pregnant last night,” she admits. 

 

Ali turns to her, eyes wide. “So did I,” she says. 

 

Ashlyn leans forward, kissing Ali deeply as their hopes suddenly feel more real. “So we either share a brain or our mothers’ intuition is off the charts.”

 

“I’m gonna go with both,” Ali says, kissing Ashlyn again. Kissing, like sex in the day that followed their appointment, becomes an excellent distraction for them as they focus on each other instead of waiting for the phone to ring. When the call finally does come through, Ashlyn holds Ali close as Ali accepts the call, putting it on speakerphone. 

 

“Good afternoon, Ali, Ashlyn, this is Emily from Dr. Lee’s office. Let me be the first to say congratulations…” 

 

“Oh my God,” Ali breathes, making eye contact with Ashlyn as they wait for Emily to continue. 

 

“The test came back positive--everything looks great. Your hCG levels were 115 which is excellent for fourteen days post insemination so we’ll need to see you again early next week to repeat the blood work and make sure those numbers continue to rise. Is there a day that would work for you?”

 

Ali’s silent as Emily’s words sink in, so focused on everything else that she doesn’t register the question. 

 

“Babe,” Ashlyn prods, eyes shining with tears. 

 

“Oh, sorry,” Ali says. “I can come Monday during my lunch hour so anytime around noon would work.”

 

“Noon it is,” Emily says. “Congratulations again, we’ll see you Monday.”

 

“Oh my God,” Ashlyn whispers, breaking down in tears as soon as the call ends. “We’re having another baby.”

 

Ali cries at the sight of Ashlyn crying--her own emotions about the pregnancy mixing with love for the woman next to her. They hold each other close, periodically whispering their love for one another and kissing deeply. “We’re having another baby,” Ali finally exclaims, tongue poking through her teeth as she grins. 

 

“Maddie is going to be such a good big sister,” Ashlyn says, using her thumbs to brush tears away from Ali’s cheeks. “I can’t believe it but I feel like I knew it at the same time.”

 

“I feel the same way,” Ali responds, smiling. “Oh my God, we’re having another baby.” She slips a hand under her shirt, resting it on her stomach, so excited that she can’t quite stop her hand from shaking. Finding out she was pregnant with Madeline had been a little terrifying, especially when she thought she was going to have to do everything alone. So although she was excited to be a mom, she was also petrified and didn’t fully enjoy her pregnancy until much later--after Ashlyn moved in. This time, there’s nothing but excitement and love for her family and the life growing inside her. Ashlyn rests a hand next to hers, gently brushing her thumb over her skin. 

 

“I can’t believe it--I really can’t believe it,” Ashlyn says. She lays down on Ali’s lap, pressing her lips to her stomach. “Baby Krieger, this is Mama, I love you so, so much.” She didn’t get this moment the first time around, going through Ali’s entire pregnancy reminding herself that the baby wasn’t actually hers, so she lets herself enjoy this precious, moving moment. They’re going to be parents again and although they’ve already gone through this process, it still feels just as life altering as the first time around. She starts crying again, her tears soaking through Ali’s leggings as Ali runs a gentle hand through her hair. 

 

“Guess you did a good job on your homework, huh?” Ali quips when Ashlyn finally sits back up. Ashlyn laughs, drying her tears with the sleeve of her shirt. Ali kisses her again, one hand on the back of Ashlyn’s head as they kiss deeply, holding her in place. It doesn’t take long for the kiss to become passionate and before she knows it, they’re both naked and Ashlyn is hovering over her on the couch, reverently kissing her way down her body. 

 

“I love you,” Ashlyn says, pausing over Ali’s abdomen and Ali isn’t sure if Ashlyn is talking to her or the baby. She says it again, meeting Ali’s eyes this time, making it clear that the first one was for the baby and the second one was for her. She kisses her stomach dozens of times before finally moving lower and settling between her legs. “So beautiful,” she whispers. 

 

Ali moans when she finally feels Ashlyn’s tongue where she needs it most. She grasps at the back of the couch, looking for anything to keep her tethered to the earth as she’s overcome with pleasure. Ashlyn has always been gentle with her, tracing all the way back to when they were kids (except for a few soccer scrimmages in which they were placed on different teams, she didn't hold back then), so Ali is unsurprised that Ashlyn now moves as if she can break at any second. It's simultaneously adorable and frustrating so although she lets her get away with it for now, she knows that they'll need to talk about it later so Ashlyn doesn't spend this entire pregnancy treating her like a precious heirloom every time they have sex. Ashlyn seems to sense these frustrations, knowing that she needs more, so she picks up the pace a little and enters her with two fingers, using her tongue and fingers to put pressure on the two places that drive Ali wild.

 

“Right there,” Ali encourages, hips bucking a little to match Ashlyn’s rhythm. She’s impossibly close to the edge and puts her hand on the back of Ashlyn’s head, keeping her in place. She utters a string of curse words when she comes hard, clenching around Ashlyn’s fingers. “You little shit,” she exclaims after she recovers. “I thought you were going to treat my like a porcelain doll that whole time and then boom.” 

 

Ashlyn smirks, supporting her own body weight as she hovers above Ali. “I figured you expected me to be extra careful so I just wanted to torture you a bit. It made it better in the end though, didn’t it?” 

 

Ali rolls her eyes, sitting up a little to kiss Ashlyn. They eventually flip their positions and she makes Ashlyn pay for the teasing by working her to the edge quickly only to stop at the last second, refusing to give her that last little push she needs. She does that two more times before she finally lets Ashlyn come, almost giggling at how loud Ashlyn is when she finally gives her what she wants. 

 

“I love you,” Ashlyn says quietly. “And I love both of our beautiful babies.”

 

“Speaking of, we should probably go get Maddie from your mom’s--I'm sure she's dying to know if she's becoming a grandma again. I'm actually kind of surprised she hasn't been calling you.”

 

“Oh, she has,” Ashlyn says, grabbing her phone from the coffee table. “My phone was on silent and I have… five missed calls from her.” 

 

When they arrive at Tammye’s ten minutes later, she opens the door and immediately tries to read their expressions, smiling when she finds nothing but joy. “Pregnant?” She verifies.

 

“Congratulations, Nannie,” Ali says, grinning. 

 

“Oh, sweethearts,” Tammye breathes, pulling both of them into a tight hug. “I'm so happy for you two.” She invites them inside, leading them to where Maddie is still laying on the couch, trying to wake up from her afternoon nap. 

 

“Mama, Mommy,” Maddie says, perking up considerably when she sees her moms. 

 

“You ready to go home, sweetie?” Ashlyn asks, taking Maddie into her arms. She holds her on her hip as they tell Tammye about the follow up appointment on Monday and remind her not to say anything until they’re ready. It’s still far too early to tell people so while they’re happy that she knows, they need to keep it between the three of them for a while. 

 

“My lips are sealed,” Tammye promises. 

 

“Thanks again, Mom,” Ashlyn says, kissing her mom on the cheek as they make their way out the door. 

 

“Anytime,” Tammye replies. “I always love spending time with our girl. Let me know if you need me on Monday.”

 

“Love you,” Ali says, pausing to hug her mother-in-law. 

 

“Love you too,” Tammye says. “Congrats again.”

 

\---

 

The appointmentment on Monday is so quick that they still have time to get lunch before Ali has to go back to work. They bring Maddie along to the appointment, knowing that it’ll be so short that she won’t have time to get restless. Even in just the few days since the last appointment, Ali has started to experience more and more pregnancy symptoms--her emotions are all over the place and she’s already experiencing some morning sickness--so it comes as no surprise when her results come back and Emily leaves a message that her hCG levels have more than tripled since the first test, indicating that the pregnancy is progressing as it should. They still have to schedule one more beta test, but Dr. Lee assures them (well, assures Ali’s voicemail since she was at work when the call came in) that it’s mostly a formality with Ali’s hCG numbers and pregnancy symptoms. 

 

“It feels more real every day,” Ashlyn comments when they get done listening to the message for the second time. 

 

“Preaching to the choir, honey,” Ali says, chuckling. “I couldn’t even keep my breakfast down this morning, remember?”

 

Ashlyn winces, thinking back to the twenty minutes Ali spent in the bathroom that morning while she kept an eye on Maddie in the living room. The first time around, she often held Ali’s hair for her when she got sick, doing everything she could to help her, but now the best thing she can do is keep Maddie out of trouble so Ali doesn’t have to worry about her. “You are so badass,” she says, kissing Ali’s forehead as she holds her close. “Thank you for doing this, for giving us a family.”

 

Ali nuzzles into Ashlyn’s neck. “There’s no one else I’d rather have a family with,” she replies. She often forgets that they weren't together when she got pregnant the first time, that they haven't always been together, because Ashlyn has always been by her side through all the highs and lows of their lives. Now they're married and expecting their second child and Ali can't imagine her life any other way. A few years ago, she never would have thought that they would be in this position because at a certain point, being in love with her best friend was something she just learned to live with. It was always fact of life, loving Ashlyn, but not knowing if Ashlyn felt the same way forced her to keep her feelings to herself for far too long. She’s always needed Ashlyn in her life and she knows that they're only getting started. 

 

\---

 

In all their years of knowing each other, Ali has never seen Ashlyn as nervous as she is in the waiting room for their meeting with the adoption attorney. Ashlyn has always been the level headed one, the one who is always able to keep things in perspective. It was Ali’s short day at work so they’d decided to meet at the law offices after Ashlyn dropped Maddie off with Ali’s parents and Ali’s beginning to regret not getting with Ashlyn before the meeting to calm her down.

 

“Ash, it’s okay,” she comforts, squeezing Ashlyn’s hand when their attorney, Mr. Anderson, leads them back to his office. “There’s no way they’re not going to let you adopt her.”

 

“I know, I know,” Ashlyn whispers, taking a deep breath. 

 

They’ve already sent Mr. Anderson some of the details of their case so they spend the first fifteen minutes or so going over the specifics. No, Madeline’s biological father is not in her life nor is he on her birth certificate. Ashlyn has been living with Ali and Maddie since before Maddie was even born. They recently got married and Ashlyn took their last name so they won’t be changing Maddie’s if the adoption goes through. 

 

“Well,” Mr. Anderson begins, looking up from the notes he’s made on their file, “this is one of the most convincing cases for stepparent adoption I have ever seen and I’ve been practicing law since before you two were born.”

 

“Really?” Ashlyn asks, eyes and voice hopeful. 

 

“Really,” he replies. “Not having a second parent on her existing birth certificate makes it much, much easier because we won’t need a judge to terminate the absent parent’s rights before we proceed. You both obviously care very deeply for your daughter and I have every reason to believe this is in Madeline’s best interest.”

 

“So what do we do now?” Ali questions. 

 

“Now you take these forms home with you,” he says, sliding a folder towards them and taking sample forms out of his own folder. “We need everything we just went over: child’s name and birthdate and birthplace, if the child’s name is being changed, how long you’ve lived with the child. You also have to provide a written statement about why you want to adopt Madeline. It doesn’t have to be long--it just gives the judge more context about the case since they don’t meet with you until the hearing.” He pauses, taking a drink from his coffee mug. “You can drop the paperwork off at any time and we can schedule a court date for a few months from now. Most judges love doing adoption hearings as they tend to be cause for celebration so don’t let it scare you. The judge will make a decision at that time--and, again, you have a very convincing case--and you will be issued a decree of adoption. Once we have that, we’ll be able to order a new birth certificate for Madeline with both of your names on it. Any questions?”

 

“How long is the typical written statement?” Ashlyn asks. 

 

“Some are around a paragraph, some are a page or more. It mostly depends on how much you want to write. I’ve seen some people write over five pages but most are around one or two pages. As long as you convince the judge that the adoption is in Madeline’s best interest, it can be as long or as short as you like.”

 

“Got it,” Ashlyn replies, grinning. They haven’t even left the office yet and all she can think about is what she plans on writing. She briefly considers asking how long was the longest statement Mr. Anderson has ever seen but stops herself at the last second, knowing that she would be tempted to match or beat that length. 

 

“Can other family members come to the court date?” Ali questions. 

 

“Yes, absolutely,” Mr. Anderson replies. “It’s actually encouraged for grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, to attend as well--as long as they’re able to. It’s a big day for extended family as well to formally welcome the adoptee as one of their own and it tends to make the proceedings that much more exciting.”

 

“Awesome, thank you,” Ali says, grinning. 

 

They say their goodbyes, promising to drop off the forms as soon as possible so they can submit them to the court and schedule a hearing. Ashlyn seems much more relaxed as they walk back to their cars but she clutches the folder to her chest like a lifeline. 

 

“How you doing?” Ali asks, pausing when they reach her car. 

 

Ashlyn takes a deep breath, shifting her grip on the folder so she can take one of Ali’s hands in her own. “Well,” she begins, smiling, “I was a little frazzled--”

 

“Oh, gee, I couldn’t tell,” Ali quips, eliciting an eye roll from Ashlyn. 

 

“But I feel better now,” Ashlyn continues. “I mean, he said we have one of the most convincing cases he’s ever seen so that has to say something, right?”

 

“Absolutely,” Ali agrees, tilting her head to kiss her wife--her heeled work shoes making their height different negligible. “You’re going to write a novel, aren’t you?”

 

“Yep,” Ashlyn replies proudly. “How often do I get to declare how much I love her and have it on an official record?”

 

“You’re the best,” Ali says, kissing her again. 

 

They soon get into their own cars--Ashlyn heads to the grocery store to get something to make for dinner, keeping Ali’s pregnancy related food aversions in mind as she shops while Ali picks Maddie up from her parents’ house, telling them about what the adoption attorney said about their case. When Ali and Maddie get home, Ashlyn is already standing at the stove making turkey tacos, turkey being one of the few types of meat that doesn’t make Ali sick at the moment. 

 

“Oh, you want to help Mama?” Ashlyn asks as Maddie pushes her little step stool next to Ashlyn. “We have to make sure we cook this all the way through so it doesn’t make Mommy sick, okay?” They haven’t yet told her that she’s going to be a big sister, not wanting her to spill the beans to their friends and family before they’re ready, but she does know that Ali hasn’t been feeling well and absolutely loves that Ali has been taking more naps with her recently. It feels a little strange, not telling her that she’s going to have a baby brother or sister, but they know that it’s best to at least wait until the first ultrasound appointment in a few weeks--their last appointment at the fertility clinic before they switch back to Dr. Sauerbrunn for the duration of Ali’s pregnancy. 

 

Ali starts getting sleepy almost as soon as dinner is finished and all the dishes are washed so she takes a nap on the couch while Ashlyn plays with Maddie upstairs and gets her ready for bed. As exhausted as she was during her first trimester with Maddie, this time around is much worse which she suspects is due to the pregnancy and needing to keep up with a rambunctious toddler as well as working. So far, Ashlyn has been nothing but understanding and supportive and often does little things like taking Madeline to the park or the beach so she can nap peacefully. Their schedules will change a little when school starts again next week but she knows they’ll find a way to make things work, even with how exhausted she is. If it’s anything like last time, her energy should return after these first few months and they’ll be able to split duties evenly once again. 

 

“Sorry I’m so boring and tired all the time,” she comments once they’re cuddled in bed for the night. It’s much earlier than they would usually go to bed but Ashlyn had followed her upstairs without complaint. In fact, she’d even made it seem like she was excited to go to bed early, thought Ali knows she probably wanted to watch their favorite Thursday night shows instead of recording them to watch over the weekend. 

 

“Hey, we’ve been over this, remember? I love you and I want you to get all the rest you need. You’re making us another beautiful baby and if that means us going to bed at eight every night, then that’s what we’re going to do.” She rests a hand on Ali’s stomach, brushing her thumb over her soft skin. “I think it’s a boy,” she says a few minutes later. “In my dream it was a boy.”

 

“I think it might be a boy too. At first I thought we might end up with another girl but, I don’t know, I feel like we’re having a boy.”

 

“I can’t believe we have to wait, like, fifteen more weeks to find out.”

 

“I know,” Ali agrees, resting a hand on top of Ashlyn’s. Their wedding rings brush against one another, reminding them the ways in which this pregnancy is different from the last one. In many ways, it doesn’t feel different other than the fact that they already have a two year old, but their circumstances are different and their wedding rings serve as a physical reminder of the changes. “Can you believe we’re doing this again? It seems like just yesterday I was pregnant with Maddie and finding every excuse to get you to sleep in here with me.”

 

“Well, you did warn me and say that I needed to sleep in here for the second kid,” Ashlyn recalls. 

 

“I did, didn’t I?” Ali replies, grinning. She nuzzles into Ashlyn’s embrace, moving her hand from her belly to Ashlyn’s cheek. “All part of my master plan.”

 

“Oh so you had Maddie as a ploy to get me in bed with you?” Ashlyn laughs. 

 

“Yep, that’s what it was,” Ali says. She’s still for a moment, fighting the sleep that’s pulling on her for just a little while longer. “We’re going to have two kids,” she marvels. “Two beautiful, funny, smart, wonderful kids who are going to run us ragged.”

 

“Hey, we’re not outnumbered until the next one,” Ashlyn says. “I think we can handle it.” Ali doesn’t respond, eyes already becoming heavy with sleep, so Ashlyn simply holds her close, gently playing with Ali’s hair as they both drift off to sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starting to wind down now :( BUT I did end up splitting one of the remaining chapters so there will be 26 total instead of 25 like I've been saying in the comments. I hope you can forgive me for lying ;) 
> 
> Anything you hope to see regarding Ali's pregnancy and the adoption hearing? Anything you don't want to see? What do you think Ashlyn will say in her written statement?


	24. Chapter 24

Writing a statement for the adoption is hard, as Ashlyn finds out when she finally has time to sit down and write over the weekend. Their kitchen table soon becomes littered with discarded drafts as she tries to find the perfect way to articulate why she wants to adopt Madeline. It’s so difficult, to put all of her love for her daughter onto paper, like trying to describe the entire universe in one sitting. How is she supposed to describe her love her Maddie when she can’t even comprehend its depth and purity herself? 

 

A few months ago, she had similar troubles writing her vows--trying to fit a lifetime of promises and love into a single paragraph was challenging--but nothing compares to this. When she was writing her vows, she knew that Ali would marry her no matter what she said in her vows but this time she needs to convince a judge who holds their fates in their hands. It’s soul crushing to think about how she would feel if the judge rejects their case so she focuses on writing the best possible statement, giving them no room to question that this is in Maddie’s best interest.

 

“How you doing?” Ali asks, taking the chair next to her. 

 

“This is hard,” Ashlyn replies. “It’s like, I know exactly what I want to say but I don’t know how to say it.” 

 

Ali pauses, trying to figure out how to help her wife with this task. “How about this,” she begins, “how do you feel about her?”

 

Ashlyn looks at her as if she’s just asked the most ridiculous question in the world. She  _ has  _ asked the most ridiculous question in the world. If anyone knows how much she loves Maddie, it’s Ali.

 

“I’m serious,” Ali says at her wife’s hesitation. “I think it’ll help if you talk through the basics a little. How do you feel about her?”

 

Ashlyn sighs, figuring it can’t hurt to play along. “I love her unconditionally. She’s my daughter and the greatest honor of my life is being her mother.” She pauses, eyes going wide in an epiphany. 

 

“I’ll leave you to write,” Ali says, getting up from the table and heading to their bedroom for a nap with Maddie. 

 

Ashlyn doesn’t respond, already in the zone as she quickly jots down her thoughts. There will be time for careful penmanship later but right now she needs to get everything down on paper. She writes like she used to write final exams--her hand scribbling as quickly as the thoughts come to her. Her only pauses come when tears cloud her vision, the act of writing an official account of how much she loves her daughter an emotional privilege many parents don't get. She’s often wondered why she even has to go through this process at all--wondered why she's not already Madeline’s legal parent just by virtue of their bond throughout Maddie’s life but now she realizes this is an opportunity she wouldn't change for anything. She cherishes every line she writes--every thought and every memory and every hope for the future. More than once, she has to pause to dry her tears, using her shirt to wipe them away so she can continue with her train of thought.

 

When she’s finished, she reads her words over and over, crossing out certain lines and adding others until she’s satisfied with the final product and carefully copies it onto two other pieces of stationary. She types a copy as well--mainly to have a backup in case something happens to the original but also to submit with their official petition, figuring it can’t hurt to include a personal, hand written copy as well as a more formal, professional copy in the typed version. She’s almost done typing when Ali comes downstairs, looking refreshed and rested after her hour long nap. 

 

“May I?” she asks, gesturing to the paper on top of the folder. 

 

“Go for it,” Ashlyn replies, sitting back in her chair. 

 

Ali reads silently, taking in her wife’s words. The letter is pretty long--nearly six pages are filled with Ashlyn’s careful printing. Ali reads them all silently as Ashlyn watches on, nervously bouncing her leg as she waits to hear her opinion. There are little clues here and there: the tears forming in the corner of her eyes before she even finishes the first paragraph; the gentle gasp when she gets to a particularly emotional part on the second page; the way her hands shake when she flips to the last page, taking in the final paragraphs, the ones Ashlyn spent five pages building up to.  

 

“Ash,” Ali breathes when she finishes, setting the letter down so she doesn’t get tears on it as she finally lets herself cry. She runs through some of Ashlyn’s words in her mind, thinking about all the wonderful things she wrote. 

 

It's Ashlyn, unembarrassed in the way she pours her heart out for everyone to see. It's profound and honest and heartfelt and so, so full of love. It’s also simple in a way that’s quintessentially Ashlyn--no extra fluff or exaggerated statements, riddled with SAT words. It’s simply Ashlyn’s love for their baby girl.

 

It's Ashlyn and Maddie, a little taste of the relationship Ali has watched develop between her two favorite people over the last few years. A snippet of the love and adoration they have for one another. Of the beautiful, unbreakable bond they have. 

 

It's  _ everything _ .

 

She knows better than anyone how Ashlyn feels about Maddie but seeing it in writing, so eloquently described, makes her more emotional than she ever could have imagined. Ashlyn and Madeline have a special bond--one that was initially forged through Ashlyn’s unconditional love despite not knowing exactly where she fit into the family. Their bond is so strong and pure and beautiful that she often forgets that Ashlyn took on the title of Madeline’s mother months after she was born and not the moment the test was positive. They make each other better--they both seem happier when the other is around--and Ali can’t imagine her life without either one of them. 

 

“Oh, honey,” Ashlyn says, wrapping her arms around her wife. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

 

“I can’t help it,” Ali chokes out through her tears. “Hormones.”

 

“Nice try,” Ashlyn says gently. “You’re just a softie.”

 

Ali crosses her arms, her faux annoyance turning into real annoyance at the smug look on Ashlyn’s face. “Am not. I’m pregnant and hormonal and you have to be nice to me.” She pauses, remembering Ashlyn’s letter again. “Okay, fine, I’m soft and I love how much you love her and it makes me emotional to think about how lucky we are to have you.” 

 

“Not as lucky as I am to have you,” Ashlyn says. She helps Ali out of her chair, pulling their bodies flush together. “I meant every single word.” 

 

Ali starts crying again, resting her head on Ashlyn’s chest while Ashlyn rubs comforting circles on her back, calming her down before she can get too worked up. She really hadn’t meant to make Ali cry--she never wants to make her cry--but she takes it as a good sign that she’s made a compelling argument for herself, one that no judge can ignore and she’s more confident than ever about the case. “Sorry I made you cry,” she says, leaning in for a kiss once Ali has calmed down. 

 

“It was the good kind of crying, I promise,” Ali says. She stands on her toes to kiss Ashlyn deeply, trying to convey all of her love for her. They’re soon interrupted by Maddie who makes her way into the dining room, stuffed shark in hand. She’s still waking up from her nap, rubbing at her eyes with her fist, so Ashlyn suggests that the three of them go cuddle in the living room, thankful that her statement is done and she can enjoy the rest of the weekend with her family. 

 

\---

 

Ali’s final appointment at the fertility clinic reveals that there’s only one baby and confirms that Ali and the baby are both healthy enough to switch to a regular OB/GYN. The heartbeat is still too quiet to hear through an ultrasound so they’ll have to wait until they have an appointment with Dr. Sauerbrunn in a few weeks. Now that they’re done with worrying about various fertility treatments and finding a donor, the whole process feels very familiar, especially when they have their first appointment at Dr. Sauerbrunn’s office when Ali is eight weeks pregnant. They decide to bring Maddie along for the appointment, figuring the doctor might want to see the little girl she helped deliver. 

 

“Oh, she’s so big now,” Dr. Sauerbrunn exclaims once they get back to the examination room. 

 

“She’s growing up fast,” Ashlyn agrees, grinning as she looks down at Maddie who is clutching her hand in this strange environment. 

 

“Are those wedding rings I see?” Dr. Sauerbrunn asks, eyebrows raised in curiosity and something Ali can’t quite figure out. 

 

“Oh, this little thing?” Ali quips, holding her hand up. “We got married in July.”

 

Dr. Sauerbrunn smiles, leaning forward to get a better look at Ali’s rings. “Well it certainly took you long enough; I thought I would’ve seen you two back here by last year.”

 

“Of course you knew we were going to end up together,” Ashlyn says, playfully rolling her eyes and eliciting a laugh from Dr. Sauerbrunn. “You and everyone else besides us.”

 

“When did you finally get together?” Doctor Sauerbrunn asks.

 

“When Maddie was about seven months old,” Ashlyn answers, grinning proudly. “Then Alex proposed last summer.”

 

Once they’re done catching up (Doctor Sauerbrunn recently got engaged as well), they go over Ali’s chart that was sent over by Dr. Lee’s office before running through a familiar routine of tests and examinations before Dr. Sauerbrunn offers to do an ultrasound. They had an ultrasound two weeks ago at the fertility clinic so although it isn’t completely necessary, it’s clear that Dr. Sauerbrunn wants to do one for her own records. Ashlyn holds Maddie on her hip as the doctor moves the little wand around Ali’s stomach, all three adults waiting on bated breath to hear the heartbeat. After being through this process before, Ali and Ashlyn recognize the sound as soon as they hear it, looking at each other as if to say that this is really, really happening. 

 

“That’s your baby brother or sister,” Ashlyn exclaims, pointing to the small speck on the screen. They plan on telling both of their immediate families about the baby this weekend, knowing they can’t keep it a secret for too long, but they’re going to wait a little while longer to tell everyone else. Ashlyn watches Maddie look at the screen, wondering what’s going through her mind. She doesn’t seem to understand what’s happening but seems enchanted by the heartbeat and the image of the baby nevertheless. 

 

“You’re going to be the best big sister,” Ali says, grinning up at Maddie in Ashlyn’s arms as Dr. Sauerbrunn moves to print them copies of the sonogram. 

 

\---

 

“You ready for this? We can wait a little if you want,” Ashlyn says, wiping down one of the end tables as they wait for their families to arrive for dinner that weekend.

 

“Waiting would be great if Maddie didn’t already know. She’s about as bad at keeping secrets as Kyle is so I’m not sure we have a choice but to tell them. Besides, she’s so obsessed with that big sister shirt we got her I don’t think we could get it off of her at this point.”

 

“You’re the one who told her it had magic big sister powers,” Ashlyn notes, smirking. 

 

“Hey, she’s excited about the baby and that’s all I care about.”

 

The family arrives towards the end of Maddie’s afternoon nap. When she wakes and they hear her moving around her room, Ali heads upstairs to check on her. “Hey, sweetie,” she greets, opening Maddie’s door. Her shirt (which she refused to take off for her nap) is a little more wrinkled than it was this morning but the message is still loud and clear with “big sister” on the front and “Spring 2020” on the back in big, bold letters. “Let’s go see everyone, okay?” Ali says gently, propping Maddie on her hip so no one can see the shirt as they come down the stairs. She pauses at the top of the stairs, yelling down for Ashlyn to check on the mac and cheese, their code to make sure everyone is still down there, that no one wandered off to the bathroom or into the kitchen for the announcement.

 

“Already did,” Ashlyn shouts in response, letting Ali know it’s okay to come down. 

 

Maddie is still a little groggy and a little clingy but when she sees her grandparents, Chris and his girlfriend, and Kyle (via FaceTime on Ashlyn’s phone), she perks up and wriggles out of Ali’s arms, unknowingly playing right into her moms’ plan as she runs towards the family, her shirt on display. 

 

It’s Deb who notices first, her eyes going wide in shock.  _ Of course it’s Mom,  _ Ali thinks, smiling as she watches her excitedly nudge Ken with her elbow, pointing to Maddie’s shirt. “What are you wearing, sweetie?” she asks gently, holding Maddie at an arm's length to read her shirt when she comes over for a hug. 

 

“Magic big sissy shirt,” Maddie answers proudly. 

 

“Are you guys--?” Mike asks, looking towards Ali for confirmation. 

 

“Look at the back of her shirt,” Ali says, grinning. She watches as everyone gathers around Maddie, cooing over her shirt. She meets Ashlyn’s eyes across the room, catching her attempting to slyly dab at the tears forming in her eyes. “Softie,” she mouths, rolling her eyes when Ashlyn sticks her tongue out in response. She crosses the room, playfully bumping Ashlyn with her hip as Deb finally breaks away from everyone else, eyes darting between them.  

 

“Which one should I hug first?” she asks. 

 

“Alex is doing all the hard work so I’d go with her,” Ashlyn says, picking up on Deb’s real question of which one is carrying. 

 

“What’s happening?” Kyle’s voice demands from Ashlyn’s phone. 

 

“Sorry, Ky,” Ashlyn says, lifting her phone back up to face level. “You’re gonna be an uncle again,” she announces, grinning at her brother-in-law’s face. 

 

“Shut up.”

 

“I’m serious,” Ashlyn replies. She crosses the room, crouching down next to Maddie who is still holding court with Chris and his girlfriend, Jennifer, while everyone else takes turns congratulating Ali. “Show Uncle Kyle your shirt.”

 

“Big sissy shirt,” Maddie says, showing off her outfit for the camera. 

 

“Oooh, look at you,” Kyle coos. “You’re going to be the best big sissy ever.”

 

“Uh huh,” Maddie replies, finally becoming bored with the whole thing and running off to the corner of the room to play with her toys. 

 

“Congrats, Mama,” Kyle says, smiling once Ashlyn reverses the camera, appearing back on screen with a massive grin. 

 

“Thanks, Ky. Here, I’ll give you to Ali,” she says, walking back towards where Ali is standing with their parents. “Kyle wants to talk to you,” she says, handing Ali her phone. Ali takes it without hesitation, wandering off to the other room to give him her undivided attention. 

 

“Congrats, honey,” Deb says, pulling her into a massive hug. 

 

Ashlyn smiles, swaying back and forth with her mother-in-law as they embrace. Deb has been begging for another grandchild since before Maddie could even crawl so she’s not surprised that Deb (and the rest of the family, really) is ecstatic about the news. 

 

“So when do you find out what it is?” Deb asks when Ali enters the room again, lovingly draping  an arm around Ashlyn’s waist. 

 

“I’ll be 20 weeks in mid December so sometime around then.”

 

“You gonna tell us what it is this time?”

 

Ali shrugs. “Probably, it was kind of exhausting keeping it from you last time,” she admits. As much as she loved keeping Maddie’s gender a secret until she was born, it was incredibly difficult to keep something like that from her family and friends, especially her mom. 

 

“You could do one of those cool parties,” Chris says. “You know, where someone gets pink of blue filled cupcakes or something so everyone finds out at the same time.”

 

“You been spending a lot of time on pinterest there, Chris?” Ali asks, eyebrows quirked in amusement. 

 

“Very funny,” Chris deadpans. “One of our friends did a party like that. Besides, maybe I do go on pinterest. Maybe I’m secretly really passionate about DIY birdhouses.” 

 

Ali laughs, the hilarious visual of someone like Chris browsing for blinged out birdhouse tutorials running through her mind. “I actually think that’s a great idea. Maybe we could do something like that on Christmas because either way, it’ll be a great Christmas present. And now you’ve signed up to be the one that finds out first. How about that?”

 

“If I must,” Chris sighs dramatically, his smile betraying his cool facade. 

 

The plan is simple. Chris will come with them to their 20 week appointment. When it comes time to find out the gender, they’ll have Dr. Sauerbrunn take him out into the hallway to tell him what the baby is. When they get their ultrasound pictures, they’ll have the doctor put the gender reveal ones into an envelope that Chris will take with him while they get standard ones. Chris will then decide how he wants to announce it to everyone so no one will know when it’s coming on Christmas, a surprise in a surprise. It’s still months away and Chris is already taking his job very seriously, trying to brainstorm different ideas as they chat throughout dinner. It’s adorable. It’s the same type of pure, unbridled joy that Ali loves so much about her wife--the ability to get excited about some of the simplest things in life. 

 

“You think they’re excited about the baby?” Ashlyn questions once they’ve put Maddie to bed for the night. They’d spent half the dinner debating about what they think the baby is--Deb, Chris, and Kyle are convinced it’s another girl with Tammye, Ken, and Mike are convinced it’s a boy. They didn’t tell their families, not wanting to sway their predictions, but Ali and Ashlyn are convinced it’s a boy--their gut instincts and Ashlyn’s dream the night before the positive pregnancy test all but making them certain that they’re having a son. 

 

“I think they’re all somehow more excited than we are,” Ali replies, using Ashlyn’s belt loops to pull her close. Ashlyn immediately rests a hand on Ali’s stomach, brushing a thumb under her shirt. She’s not showing yet--at only eight weeks that beautiful, wondrous change is still yet to come--but that does little to deter Ashlyn from loving on Ali’s nonexistent bump as much as possible. “I’m gonna have to break out my fat pants soon,” Ali comments, lifting her shirt a little to give Ashlyn better access to her belly. “What are you thinking about?” she asks, resting a gentle hand on her wife’s cheek when she seems quieter than usual. 

 

“It’s just crazy,” Ashlyn replies, shrugging. “There’s a baby in there--our baby. I can’t get over it.”

 

Ali smiles, taking Ashlyn’s hand as she leads her to the bed. “It’s wild,” she agrees. She lays on her side, smiling when Ashlyn settles lower on the bed, down by her belly. 

 

“Hi, baby, I love you,” Ashlyn coos, lips brushing against Ali’s abdomen. She snuggles impossibly closer, one arm draped over Ali’s waist. She can’t wait for the day that Ali starts showing or when they get to feel the baby kick, those parts of Ali’s pregnancy she gets to enjoy, the beautiful changes she’ll get to watch Ali go through. “You have so many people who can’t wait to meet you, little one. Mommy and I love you so much and you have the best big sister in the world.” 

 

She's not sure how long she talks to the baby, telling them little things about their family and friends who can't wait to meet them. When she's done, she presses a gentle kiss to Ali’s abdomen and scoots up towards the head of the bed, finding Ali fast asleep. “Thank you for doing this,” she whispers, falling even more in love with her wife as she watches her sleep. “I know it must not be easy especially since we have to keep up with Maddie this time but I just--thank you. You and the kids are everything to me. And I can't wait--God, I can't wait until I'm officially Maddie’s mom and then to meet the new baby. I'm so glad that it's you I get to have all this with.” 

 

She falls asleep curled behind Ali, the perpetual big spoon while Ali is pregnant, sleeping with a protective hand over her wife’s belly. She’s asleep less than an hour, not even long enough to hit a deep sleep, when Ali gently shakes her shoulder, rousing her. 

 

“What’s wrong?” she asks, her heart racing at the thought that something might be wrong with Ali or the baby. She sits up in bed, ready to spring into action to fix whatever it is. 

 

“Do we have any Ben and Jerry’s?” Ali asks. Her hand is on Ashlyn’s as she gently fiddles with the blonde’s wedding ring. She feels a little guilty for scaring her so she doesn’t make eye contact, instead focusing on her finger brushing the cool metal of Ashlyn’s ring.

 

Ashlyn sighs, her heart rate returning back to normal now that she knows Ali and the baby are okay.  _ They’re okay, they’re okay _ , she thinks as she presses a hand to her chest, calming herself.

 

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” Ali says quietly, still not meeting her eyes. “Let’s just go back to sleep.”

 

“I’m up now,” Ashlyn replies gently. “What is it you need?”

 

“Do we have Ben and Jerry’s in the freezer?”

 

Ashlyn thinks for a minute, taking stock of everything she knows they have. “I think we have the strawberry shortcake kind.”

 

“But do we have half baked?” Ali asks, getting to what she really wants. 

 

“No, I think we finished that off the other night.” Ali sighs dramatically, a little too dramatically in Ashlyn’s opinion. “Can you have the strawberry tonight? We can add half baked to our grocery list for tomorrow.” Ali sighs again, this one even louder than the first. She doesn’t say it, she doesn’t have to, as Ashlyn reluctantly gets out of bed, finding the nearest pair of joggers to throw over her boxers. 

 

“You are the best. The absolute  _ best _ ,” Ali says, looking extremely satisfied as she takes Ashlyn’s pillow into her arms, snuggling it close in her absence. 

 

“Anything else the queen wants?” Ashlyn questions, unplugging her phone and dropping it into her pocket. 

 

“I mean you could get the other stuff on our shopping list so we don’t have to go tomorrow. That would be great.”

 

“Alex,” Ashlyn begins evenly, “it’s one in the morning I’m not doing our grocery shopping for the week at one in the morning. I’m getting your ice cream and I’m coming home.”

 

“I’m just saying it would be helpful,” Ali mumbles. 

 

“And I’m just saying I want to get my ass back in bed as soon as possible. You’re not the only one who needs beauty rest.” She leans forward, kissing Ali on the lips. “Text me if you have any other emergency cravings.” She drags her feet as she makes her way downstairs, slipping on the first pair of flip flops she finds. Their local supermarkets are all already closed for the night so she navigates her way to the nearest Walmart which is just a little bit farther than their usual grocery stores. She doesn’t even bother getting her cart, true to her word that she’s not doing all of their shopping this late at night. When she gets to the ice cream aisle which, luckily, is near the front of the store, she lets out an unintentional groan when she sees that they don’t have Ali’s ice cream in stock. They have other flavors--of course they have every flavor other than the one Ali woke her up in the middle of the night for--but the shelf above the price ticket for half baked is completely empty. 

 

“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Ashlyn groans, resisting the urge to bang her head against the glass. 

 

“Something I can help you with?” an employee asks, restocking shelves a few freezers down. 

 

“Yes, hi,” Ashlyn replies, taking a few steps towards the employee. “Do you have the Ben and Jerry’s half baked in stock by any chance? My wife is pregnant and woke me up because apparently it’s an emergency that can’t wait until tomorrow.”

 

“If it’s not on the shelf, I don’t think we do. This is the last of the frozen stuff,” he points to the boxes on his flatbed, “from the back and I didn’t see any pints of ice cream on here. Sorry.”

 

“Not your fault,” Ashlyn replies, giving a half hearted smile in reassurance. “I think I’ll just blame the kid, right? I’m sure I’ll be over this little excursion by the time it’s born.”

 

“When’s she due?”

 

“First week in May,” Ashlyn answers, grinning. Despite her exhaustion and her annoyance over being sent on a failed ice cream mission, she can’t help but smile as she talks about Ali and the baby, even when it’s something simple like saying when the baby is due. 

 

“Here, I can call another store for you and make sure they have that kind in stock if you want,” he says, pulling a phone out of his belt clip. 

 

“That would be great, thank you so much.”

 

“No problem,” he replies, dialing the number from memory. There’s not as much staff during the night so they have to wait a few minutes for the staff to check the shelves, making small talk as they wait. “So is this your first baby?”

 

“Second, actually. We have a two and a half year old daughter. So mostly it’s a little easier this time but the cravings are still a pain in the ass.”

 

“I hear that. My wife just had our third baby so I’ve been on many late night runs. I guess it helps that I work nights so she usually just texted me what she wanted me to come home with.” He pauses, putting a finger up as a signal that someone is back on the other line. “Okay, thank you,” he says, hanging up the phone. “Melbourne has it in stock.”

 

“Oh, perfect,” Ashlyn replies, smiling. “You’re a lifesaver, thank you.” 

 

“No problem--good luck with the little ones.”

 

“Thanks, you too.” 

 

Ashlyn hurries over to the other store, thankful that she doesn’t worry about whether or not they have it in stock. When she finally gets home, she puts one pint in the back of the freezer--a little emergency stash--and takes the other with a spoon and a napkin up to their room, fully expecting to find Ali waiting for her return. Instead, she’s met with snores and drool and she knows there’s no waking her. 

 

“Of course,” she mumbles, turning on her heel to head back downstairs, putting the other pint away right in the front where Ali can see it. She takes the stairs back to their room two at a time, anxious to fall back asleep as soon as possible. “You’re so lucky I love you as much as I do,” she says as she takes her sweatpants off and molds her body to her wife’s once more. She’s not expecting a response, not with the way Ali was snoring when she brought the ice cream up so she’s surprised when Ali scoots her back closer to her, reaching for one of Ashlyn’s hands and pulling it around her, putting it on her belly. 

 

“I know and I’m sorry,” she mumbles, a little incoherent through her sleepiness. 

 

“Don’t be sorry,” Ashlyn whispers, placing a gentle kiss on Ali’s exposed shoulder. “Just go back to sleep, it’s okay. I love you.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Favorite parts or lines? 
> 
> Do you think their hunch about it being a boy is right? 
> 
> What do you think Ashlyn wrote in the statement for Ali to react like that? (The full statement is in the final chapter so you might want to emotionally prepare for that)
> 
> Also, I'm pretty sure I know the answer to this one but would you rather me post the final two chapters this weekend or space them out like I usually do so you can savor it a little longer?


	25. Chapter 25

With Ali’s pregnancy, the craziness of working and taking care of Maddie, and ensuring that everything is ready for the adoption hearing at the end of December, the holiday season creeps up on them suddenly. Thanksgiving passes in a blur and before they know it, they're at the 20 week appointment, searching Chris’s face for any hint about the baby’s gender. He doesn't crack, not even a little, so they're left wondering during the final two weeks before Christmas. 

 

As has become their tradition, they get new photos taken for their holiday cards, their wedding rings and Ali’s 20 week belly a powerful yet subtle reminder of the changes in the lives this last year. Even Maddie’s changes are evident when they hang their new family picture next to the previous ones in the hallway upstairs. 

 

“Holy shit,” Ashlyn exclaims, looking at the pictures side by side. “She's a  _ kid  _ now, she's not a toddler anymore.” 

 

“I can't believe she's gonna be three in a couple of months,” Ali replies, studying the changes in their daughter from their old Christmas photos. “Like, three years ago, this was her in my belly kicking my bladder and now it's her little brother or sister. It's wild.” 

 

“Yeah,” Ashlyn agrees, straightening the new frame one last time before turning to her wife, wrapping her arms around her shoulders. “And three years ago I couldn't do this,” she says, pulling Ali in for a deep kiss. 

 

“Well, I mean you could have,” Ali laughs, resting her forehead against her wife’s when they break apart. “I would not have complained. In fact, I spent a lot of time hoping you would do exactly that. And, you know, that you’d have sex with me.” 

 

“I think we’ve already more than made up for all that missed pregnancy sex, don't you think? You weren't joking when you said it made you horny.” 

 

“I would  _ never  _ joke about something like that. I mean, you've seen this time that it's no joke.” 

 

As expected, Ali has been craving sex the last few months--sometimes even more than she craves breadsticks from their local pizzeria which has been her go-to snack this time around. She often wakes Ashlyn up in the middle of the night or early in the morning for sex which makes both of them tired at work (Ashlyn never complains about it but Ali sometimes wonders aloud why she doesn’t have any energy and Ashlyn has to remind her of their late night trysts). Other than knowing they're becoming parents again, it's both of their favorite part about Ali’s pregnancy. 

 

Ashlyn hums her agreement, pulling Ali as close as possible. Maddie is with Ali’s parents for the night so they can wrap Christmas presents in peace so luckily they don't have to worry about interruptions as she pulls her in for another kiss, taking this one just a bit deeper than the first. “Okay, okay,” she breathes when they break apart, stepping away from Ali in an effort to control herself before they get too sidetracked. “Santa and Mrs. Claus have to wrap presents before they tire themselves out.” 

 

Ali groans at the lack of contact, still trying to catch her breath. 

 

“Come on,” Ashlyn encourages, taking her hand and leading her downstairs to their wrapping station at the kitchen table. “We’ll be quick and then maybe you can wear my favorite little Christmas outfit.” 

 

“I don't think I can get into those panties at the moment,” Ali notes, gesturing to her bump. 

 

“I'd just have to take them off anyway. But the top part should still fit, right? It's a Christmas tradition.” 

 

“Can’t mess with tradition,” Ali replies, winking as they sit down to wrap the rest of Maddie’s presents. 

 

They might have gone a little overboard, Ashlyn realizes as they wrap countless presents for the almost three year old. Not quite as overboard as her first Christmas, but overboard nonetheless. It’s her last Christmas as an only child which is part of it, she’s sure, but mostly they’re just excited that she’s finally old enough to understand these types of things. They’ve been getting her excited about the holiday for the last month, capping the festivities off with a visit to Santa just a few days ago, both moms watching in delight as their young daughter excitedly rattled off all the toys she wants. Their own excitement for the holiday, while largely focused on Maddie and spending time with loved ones, is compounded by the fact that they finally get to find out the sex of their baby on Christmas day. 

 

They manage to get everything wrapped in under an hour, working with incredible efficiency to finish the task. As soon as the last gift is wrapped, Ali sets out on cleaning everything up while Ashlyn carries the presents away, putting the gifts from them under the tree and the ones from Santa in the attic, tucked away where Maddie can’t find them. When she makes her way back down the steps, she hears Ali calling her from their bedroom. “Yeah?” she questions, rounding the corner into their room. “Holy shit--merry Christmas to me.”

 

“How’s it look?” Ali asks innocently, gesturing to her red negligee. “I actually couldn’t get into the other one but I figured this would do since it’s red.” 

 

“I’m not complaining,” Ashlyn replies, looking her wife up and down. This particular negligee is a deep red which looks amazing with Ali’s hair color and skin tone and the silhouette perfectly shows off Ali’s growing bump, her beautiful curves. “You’re so hot,” she breathes. She’s seen Ali in this particular lingerie set several times (it’s one of their favorites) but it always manages to take her breath away as if it’s her first time ever seeing it. 

 

“So are you,” Ali replies, grinning as she closes the gap between them to strip Ashlyn of her clothes. She takes her time, kissing Ashlyn deeply after she frees her of each additional piece of clothing until she’s finally bare. “You’re going to look so beautiful on Friday,” she says, rubbing her hands up and down Ashlyn’s side. Although the adoption hearing is still a week away, Ashlyn has already started obsessing about what she should wear, trying on all of her best suits, shirts, and ties in an effort to find the best combination for such an important day. Ali, of course, thinks it’s adorable and has watched Ashlyn model option after option for the last few weeks, confident that her wife will look beautiful no matter what she decides to wear. 

 

“Should I try more suits on?” Ashlyn asks, only half joking. 

 

“Really, Ashlyn? After all my hard work getting you undressed just now?”

 

Ashlyn laughs, tilting Ali’s chin up so she can kiss her deeply. She rests a hand on the swell of Ali’s belly as they kiss, taking every opportunity to love on her wife’s pregnancy curves. She tugs at Ali’s bottom lip with her teeth a little before kissing her way down her neck, sucking gently behind her ear. She slowly, lovingly kisses her way down to Ali’s chest, pausing to appreciate the unusual fullness of her breasts--a combination of pregnancy and the push up bra on the negligee. 

 

“You’re obsessed,” Ali comments, smirking as she watches Ashlyn stare at her chest. 

 

Ashlyn nods in agreement as she leans forward, pressing gentle kisses to the skin not covered by the lingerie. When that’s not enough, she reaches around to Ali’s back, expertly undoing the closure and steps back, watching appreciatively as Ali lets the garment fall to the floor. She takes Ali’s hands, swinging them a little as she looks deep into her eyes, “you are the most beautiful woman in the world inside and out.” 

 

“Funny,” Ali starts gently, always moved by Ashlyn’s compliments, “because I think that title belongs to you.” She tugs on Ashlyn’s hands, capturing her lips in a passionate kiss as soon as she’s close enough. They soon become fervid in their movements, their hands roaming as they kiss. 

 

After a few intense, passionate minutes, Ashlyn puts her hands on Ali’s shoulders, gently pushing her back towards the bed. When Ali feels the pressure of the mattress on the backs of her knees, she lowers herself down, quickly grabbing one of their throw pillows from behind her. Ashlyn, as caring and gentle as ever despite their steamy makeout session, helps her get the pillow situated under her back, providing crucial support so Ali will be comfortable as she lays flat on her back. She kneels on the floor at the end of the bed, right in between Ali’s legs. 

 

“You are stunning, absolutely stunning” Ashlyn says, marvelling at the sight of her wife. She always loves being the one who gets to see Ali like this and Ali being pregnant adds a whole new dimension to her beauty. They’d missed out on these moments the last time and those regrets, those memories of watching from the sidelines, have only made her appreciate this pregnancy that much more. She remembers what it was like wondering where their boundaries were, where she fit into the equation, so she doesn’t take a single second of these moments for granted. 

 

She starts at the inside of Ali’s thighs, gently kissing her way centrally until she reaches the sweet, sweet taste of her wife’s core, immediately eliciting a moan in response. As much as Ali craves sex while she’s pregnant, she also has much less patience for teasing and is more sensitive so Ashlyn is careful not to waste any time, expertly using her tongue to drive Ali to the edge. She does, however, pause at the last second, unable to resist a little teasing. 

 

“God damn it,” Ali groans, gently playing with her own nipples as Ashlyn pauses. She can’t buck her hips too much without waking the baby up so she’s at Ashlyn’s complete mercy. Luckily, Ashlyn knows better than to tease too much and moves right back in, giving that final firm stroke of her tongue, pushing Ali right over the edge. She comes hard, grasping at the sheets with her hands. “I love you,” she whispers blissfully as Ashlyn climbs into bed next to her. 

 

“I love you too,” Ashlyn replies, resting a hand on Ali’s belly. “Did we wake the baby?” 

 

“Nope, still sleeping,” Ali says, resting a hand right next to Ashlyn’s. She rolls onto her side, smiling as they face each other. “Hi,” she says, leaning in for a kiss. She takes the kiss deeper, intent on repaying the favor. She can’t lay on her stomach to give Ashlyn what she really wants so she slips a hand in between Ashlyn’s legs as they lay on their sides facing each other, one of the positions they’ve found works best. It doesn’t put pressure on her belly, which is crucial, but she’s able to get a good rhythm as Ashlyn rests her top leg across her hip, giving her room to move.  

 

“Right there, Alex,” Ashlyn encourages, already a little breathless as Ali expertly strokes her. She’s pretty quiet out of habit but lets out a few louder than normal moans when she comes, her body immediately going slack. 

 

“I love getting to watch your face when you come,” Ali says, slowly licking her fingers clean. “I mean, I always love watching your face but I especially like it when I make you come.”

 

Ashlyn smiles, snuggling close to Ali’s chest. They eventually move to the top of the bed and fall asleep in each other’s arms, taking advantage of being home alone by not bothering to get dressed. 

 

They hardly get out of bed the next day, finally throwing clothes on just before Ken drops Maddie off after dinner. For once, there’s no where they need to be, nothing they need to do and while they could use their time to do chores around the house, they can’t quite bring themselves to do anything productive. In just a few months, they’ll have a newborn and a toddler and quiet moments alone will be a rare luxury so although the laundry is a little piled up and the fridge needs to be cleaned out, they spend the entire day in the cozy confines of their bed. They have sex whenever they want (which at the moment is essentially whenever Ali wants) and talk about the future, about the new baby and how Maddie will deal with the transition from being an only child to sharing the spotlight. 

 

They’ve spent many late nights talking throughout their lives but, somehow, it always seems new and exciting like it’s the first time they’ve ever watched the clock tick past midnight. They hardly ever stop laughing when they’re together--truly each other’s best friends even though they’re now much, much more more than that. Their foundation of their relationship, of their marriage, is a lifetime of friendship and adoring one another and although they’re now married, sometimes they still feel like teenagers trying not to giggle and wake Ali’s parents’ up. Things aren’t much different now, they’re still the same two people who love to laugh and joke and talk about life together, but now they’re usually worried about waking Madeline with their late night giggles (among other things). Their peaceful day alone reminds them of how they started: two girls without a care in the world as long as they’re by each other’s side. 

 

\---

 

The next few days pass in a blur of anticipation and preparation. When they’re woken at six on Christmas morning, they try to coax Maddie into going back to sleep for another hour, until their normal wakeup time, but it’s to no avail, she’s too excited to sleep. 

 

“Please Mama,” she begs, sitting on Ashlyn’s chest as she pokes her in the face. “Up, up, up.” 

 

Ali giggles at the sight, watching Ashlyn try to maintain her composure as Maddie bosses her around. It’s an adorable sight as Ashlyn pretends to fall back asleep, snoring loudly as Maddie giggles. She pokes her again and when that doesn’t work, she leans forward, planting a loud, sloppy kiss on Ashlyn’s lips. 

 

“Your mother must’ve taught you that,” Ashlyn grumbles, finally opening her eyes. It’s not a fair tactic, really, because she can’t resist kisses from either one of them--a fact they clearly use to their advantage. 

 

“Mama, Santa came,” Maddie exclaims, letting Ashlyn pull her into her loving embrace, snuggling close to her chest. 

 

“He did?” Ashlyn asks excitedly, as if she doesn’t already know the answer. As if she and Ali weren’t the ones who split the cookies the night before, taking bites in between arranging presents. “Did he bring lots of presents?”

 

“Yeah,” Maddie exclaims, sitting back up. 

 

“Did he bring Mommy presents?” Ali questions. 

 

“I think Mommy got coal for being bad,” Ashlyn quips, stifling a laugh at Maddie’s angry expression. 

 

“No, Mommy good,” Maddie argues. “Come on,” she demands, refocused on her mission to get them downstairs. 

 

“Okay, okay,” Ashlyn replies, lifting Maddie off of her chest so she can get out of bed. “You stay here with Mommy and I’ll go get everything ready, okay?”

 

Maddie nods, taking Ashlyn’s place in bed as she heads downstairs. She turns the tree on, the multi colored lights reflecting off of their hardwood floors, and connects her phone to their bluetooth speakers, filling the room with cheerful Christmas music. When everything is ready, she stands at the bottom of the stairs, calling for them to join her. She hears their footsteps above before she sees them, grinning as they come into view, holding hands as they make their way downstairs. Maddie jumps off of the bottom step, dropping Ali’s hand as she runs to the tree, looking at the sea of presents. 

 

“Stocking first,” Ali says, taking their stockings down from their hooks. 

 

Maddie’s stocking is full of small gifts--bubbles, sticker books, crayons, and a couple of mini coloring books they can easily fit into their purses (or backpack, in Ashlyn’s case) to keep her occupied when they go out to eat or to the store--but she coos over it all as if they’d spent a million dollars instead of less than twenty. When it’s empty, however, the strewn contents of her stocking no longer hold her attention as she turns back towards the tree, eager to get to the wrapped presents underneath. 

 

“Just remember that next year there will be two of them,” Ali says, kissing Ashlyn before they move closer to the tree, ready to pass presents to their daughter. Maddie takes each one eagerly, tearing into the paper and tossing it aside as she opens each additional gift. The toys are a big hit, as was to be expected, but she also seems to love them clothes, taking after her moms in her love for style. She’s pretty girly, her style more closely resembling Ali’s, but she also loves tomboy style so they’d been sure to give her a good mixture of items. 

 

“What do you say, sweetie?” Ashlyn prods when she’s opened her last gift, the only presents left under the tree for them and their families coming over later. 

 

“Thank you,” Maddie says, running over to wrap her arms around Ashlyn’s neck. She plants a big kiss on her cheek before making her way to Ali, giving her a hug and a kiss as well. 

 

“You’re welcome, baby,” Ali says, rubbing Maddie’s back. “Next year you’re gonna have to show your baby brother or sister how to open presents. Do you think you can do that?”

 

Maddie nods eagerly, pulling away from the hug so she can put a hand to Ali’s belly. Ali catches Ashlyn’s eyes, both of them melting as Madeline rests a hand on Ali’s bump, rubbing just a little. 

 

Ashlyn moves quickly, grabbing Ali’s phone off of the end table to take a video of the sweet moment between the two. Maddie always loves on Ali’s bump, much like Ashlyn, but something about the two of them sitting in front of the tree in their Christmas pajamas on makes this moment even more special. For a few minutes, Maddie’s new toys lay forgotten on the floor as she loves on her mom and unborn sibling. 

 

“Did you feel that?” Ali asks, moving Maddie’s hand to where she just felt the baby kick. “The baby is trying to say hi to you.” 

 

“Hi, baby,” Maddie coos, holding her hand steady as the baby kicks. 

 

“We get to find out if the baby is a boy or a girl today,” Ali says, running a hand through Maddie’s hair. “What do you think it is?” 

 

Maddie thinks for a moment, her face scrunching up in concentration. “A bunny,” she finally exclaims, grinning. 

 

“A bunny?” Ali asks, playing along as Ashlyn laughs beside them, capturing the whole exchange. “You think it’s a bunny?”

 

Maddie nods, sticking with her theory. 

 

“I don’t think it’s a bunny, sweetheart,” Ali says gently. She wants to play along, to let her imagination run wild, but she worries that doing so will confuse her. She can imagine the confusion it could cause when she gives birth and Maddie is faced with a baby instead of a pet bunny. The visual is adorable, sure, but she doesn’t want Maddie to be disappointed when the baby is born. “The baby is a person just like we are.”

 

“Oh,” Maddie replies, her face falling a little. The baby kicks again and she seems to forget all her disappointment as her eyes go wide at the strength of the kick. 

 

“That was a big one, huh?” Ali says, wincing a little at the power behind the kick. “And here I thought this kid was going to take it easy on my organs,” she adds, meeting Ashlyn’s concerned eyes. “I’m good, promise.”

 

Maddie soon becomes distracted by her new toys, trying each one as soon as her moms free them from the packaging. By the time she (reluctantly) goes down for a short nap before the rest of the family comes over, the living room floor is littered with various toys and clothes, which Ashlyn carries up to her room while Ali and Maddie nap in the master bedroom. 

 

By the time their families arrive in the afternoon, the living room is tidied again and ready for a second visit from hurricane Maddie and a new batch of presents. When Chris arrives (last, naturally) Ali and Ashlyn can barely contain their excitement, ready to find out what they’re having. 

 

“Not yet,” Chris says coyly as they beg to hear the news. 

 

“Come on, you were gonna tell us on Christmas and it’s Christmas,” Ali protests, crossing her arms. 

 

“Please,” Ashlyn begs. 

 

Chris rolls his eyes, ignoring both of them as he makes his way to the tree, adding his presents to the pile. When he’s certain they’re not looking, he shoves one of the presents to the back of the tree where he knows it’ll be saved for last. 

 

“He’s going to torture us all day,” Ashlyn notes, resigning herself to waiting as they chat with everyone else. They’re all curious to know how Maddie did opening presents this year so she and Ali both proudly take out their phones, showing them pictures and videos from the morning, including the one Ashlyn took of Maddie rubbing Ali’s belly in front of the tree. 

 

“Well, I can at least tell you the baby is not a bunny,” Chris quips, playfully bumping Ashlyn’s hip when the video gets to Maddie’s hunch. 

 

“Damn, I really thought it was,” Ashlyn deadpans, frowning in faux disappointment. 

 

“Was your donor the Easter Bunny?”

 

“No, actually, it was Bugs Bunny,” she fires back, eliciting a hearty laugh from her brother. Chris opens his mouth to respond but they’re interrupted by Maddie tugging on the hem of Ashlyn’s shirt, begging to open presents. She looks to Ali who is chatting with Kyle nearby, nodding her head towards the tree. When Ali shakes her head yes, Ashlyn corrals Maddie back to her spot in front of the tree, taking a seat on the couch behind her while Ali gets all the adults gathered around the tree.

 

Chris, of course, volunteers to play Santa sitting in front of the tree to ensure that the special gift will be saved until the last possible second. He tries to space the presents out as evenly as possible, giving Maddie two for every one the adults get, keeping her occupied so she doesn’t wander off before the final present. He sees the anticipation on his sister and sister-in-law’s faces with each present he hands them, the hope that this will be the gift that tells them if the baby is a boy or a girl. They’re not even sure if it’ll come in present form, really, but it’s a pretty safe bet considering he didn’t bring anything else--no pink or blue filled cupcakes, no balloons with colored confetti. So their anticipation grows with each present, eagerly awaiting what they’re sure will be their favorite one.

 

Finally, there’s only one present left under the tree so he reaches back, acting as if he needs to read the tag on it. “Oh, it’s for you two,” he says as nonchalantly as possible, handing them the package. 

 

Ali shakes the box a little, trying to get a clue about what’s inside but it’s packed so tightly (he prepared for potential shaking) that the contents hardly move. She lets Ashlyn get a hand on it as they tear the paper away together, finding a white gift box. They’re so focused on the gift that they don’t notice their family surrounding them, completely unaware that most of them are looking over their shoulders while Chris has his phone in his hand, recording the moment. 

 

“Ready?” Ashlyn asks, settling the box on her lap. 

 

“Ready,” Ali replies. 

 

They lift the lid together, tossing it aside before lifting the festive tissue paper away, finding a light grey onesie with ‘little brother’ printed on the front in black letters, a perfect match to Maddie’s ‘big sister’ t shirt they used to announce the pregnancy in the first place.

 

“It’s a boy?” Ali asks excitedly, looking to Chris for confirmation. 

 

“It’s a boy,” he confirms, smiling. 

 

“Oh my God,” Ashlyn breathes, a hand flying to her mouth as Ali takes the onesie out of the box, revealing a small blue frame with their most recent sonogram photo, the words “it’s a boy!” in white text and a little arrow pointing to the tiny appendage between their son’s legs. 

 

“There are other pictures in the envelope if you don’t want that one framed,” Chris prefaces as Ashlyn takes the frame out of the box, gently tracing the edges with her finger. She tries not to cry as she looks at the photo of their baby boy, letting everything sink in. She’s not surprised, not after how certain they’ve been this whole time, but it’s still an incredible feeling and makes everything feel that much more real. 

 

“We’re going to have a son,” Ali exclaims, turning a little to pull Ashlyn into a hug. She kisses her softly, putting a gentle hand to her cheek. 

 

“You see your baby brother?” Ashlyn asks, showing Maddie the framed ultrasound when she and Ali pull apart. 

 

“Baby brother,” Maddie repeats, reaching forward to touch Ali’s belly. This morning’s bunny incident notwithstanding, she’s slowly started to understand that there’s going to be a new baby in a few months. Her understanding was aided by the fact that Ali’s cousin and her husband recently had another baby so when they met him, they were able to explain to Maddie that they’ll soon have another baby of their own, her little brother or sister. She loves kissing and touching Ali’s belly, habits she learned from watching Ashlyn, so it surprises no one that they both rest a hand on Ali’s belly now--Maddie’s small hand right next to Ashlyn’s bigger one. 

 

“He’s so outnumbered,” Ali says, blinking away tears as she lovingly looks down at her belly, at Ashlyn and Maddie’s hands resting on it. “I hope he’ll be okay with watching princesses all the time.”

 

“He’ll be okay,” Ashlyn replies, brushing her thumb over Ali’s bump one last time before pulling away, finally turning her attention back to their family who is eager to see the sonogram and the onesie. 

 

Everyone is thrilled about the news that there will be a little boy in the family (not that they wouldn’t have been thrilled either way) and they immediately begin discussing names, both Chris and Kyle throwing their own names in for consideration. As difficult as it was to wait to find out for the last few weeks, both women are thankful that they and their family got to learn the baby’s gender in this way. It’s a Christmas none of them will ever forget as they celebrate the holiday and the new member of the family that’s set to join the fun in just a few months. 

 

Later that night when their guests are gone and they’re sated from their private celebration, Ashlyn curls up next to her wife, resting a hand on her bump. “How’s the baby doing?”

 

“Good, he’s sleeping,” Ali says, grinning. She rests a hand next to Ashlyn’s, linking their pinkies together on her belly. “I can’t believe we’re having a son; it’s going to be so different.”

 

“It’s going to be a good different, though. He already seems more relaxed than Maddie so I think he’ll take it a little easier on us. Plus, now I’ll have someone to match with when we get family pictures taken and go to weddings.”

 

“Stop,” Ali groans, dragging out the word. “That visual is too cute, I can’t deal with it.”

 

“How do you think I’ve felt the last three years? It kills me every time you and Maddie match especially when you proposed and when we got married--I could hardly handle it.”

 

“Can we get him a bow tie? I love when you wear bow ties.”

 

“Of course we’ll get him bow ties, what kind of stupid question is that?” Ashlyn replies, grinning at the thought of wearing matching suits and ties with their baby boy. “I wish he was going to be here by Whit’s wedding so we could match.”

 

“He’ll be here by Catherine and Rachel’s wedding in August,” Ali offers. “Maddie is going to be a busy little flower girl next year.”

 

“Everyone loves her,” Ashlyn replies, grinning. “Just like her mommy in that sense.”

 

Ali puts a hand to her chest, flattered at Ashlyn’s compliment. “So now we know we’re having a boy and the adoption hearing is in two days--could this week get any better?”

 

“It’ll be a tough Christmas to beat, that’s for sure,” Ashlyn replies, fighting to hold back a yawn. She’s still a little worried about the adoption hearing, worried that the judge will find some reason to deny the request, but she knows they have a strong case and she’s eagerly counting down the minutes until Maddie is officially her daughter.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I'd love to hear what you think. Only one more chapter left so I'd love to know what you think of this chapter and the story as a whole. And of course I'd love to hear if you have any ideas for one shots because I don't want it to end either ;) 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	26. adoption

The night before the adoption hearing, Ashlyn can’t sleep. She tries every trick she can think of: counting sheep, sleepytime tea, she even tries sleeping at the opposite end of her and Ali’s bed but to no avail. She’s not quite sure what she’s feeling, which she suspects is part of the reason she can’t fall asleep. If it were just nerves, cuddling as close as possible to Ali would help. If it were just excitement, the quiet house and soothing tea should have helped. She suspects her insomnia is due to a combination of these emotions so she accepts her fate and watches Ali sleep peacefully. They’re now more than halfway through the pregnancy and it seems crazy to Ashlyn that she’ll officially become a mom twice in the span of five months. She already has the responsibility and title of a mom, of course, but it’s exciting (and a little terrifying) to think about finally becoming Maddie’s legal parent just a few months before welcoming a new baby into the world.

 

When they were younger, Ali was always the one who was certain she wanted a family while Ashlyn preferred to live day by day and figure things out as she went along. Eventually, especially after she started working as a kindergarten teacher, she decided that she would like to have a family one day. She’s always been good with kids and the more she imagined her life with a wife and kids, the harder it became to imagine her life any other way. When she moved in with Ali, however, it suddenly became nearly impossible to imagine herself coming home to a different family one day. She tried to prepare herself for she and Ali to eventually find people to love but it was too painful to imagine. Eventually, she realized that the reason she never really thought about a family of her own for so long was because she didn’t want to imagine herself having a family with anyone but Ali. Now on the eve of the adoption, Ali is fast asleep and pregnant with their second child, her wedding rings sparkling in the soft light of their bedside lamp.

 

She eventually gives up on trying to sleep altogether and makes her way to the hall closet, finding the baby books Deb had expertly crafted for her Maddie. The first few pages cover Ali’s pregnancy--nearly all of the photos were taken by Ashlyn who loved documenting Ali’s growing belly--but the rest of the pages are filled with Maddie throughout her life so far. She’s crying by the time she gets to the photos taken immediately after Maddie’s birth, looking back at her younger self staring at Madeline with such adoration that anyone who didn’t know would have thought she was looking at her own daughter. She remembers nearly every moment from that day, starting from the moment she almost knocked right into Ali’s head when she woke her up. She’s always been amazed by Ali’s strength, her ability to stay calm in stressful situations and carry herself with poise, but she’d never been as impressed with her as she was the day Maddie was born (she’s since been more and more impressed with her nearly every day because Ali is supermom). Dr. Sauerbrunn, who obviously knew how involved she’d been and would continue to be, asked her to cut Maddie’s umbilical cord and she very distinctly remembers thinking _this is my kid._ She’d corrected herself almost immediately but could never quite shake the feeling that Madeline was always meant to be hers. She’s not a particularly religious person but she absolutely believes that by karma, fate, or God, she was always, _always_ meant to be Ali and Madeline’s just like they were always meant to be hers.

 

As she flips through the pages of the baby books, she sees just how much her daughter has grown and changed in the last few years. She also sees photos of herself, thinking about how she got more and more comfortable with caring for a baby as time went on. It wasn’t like playing house with Ali--there were real responsibilities and frustrations and not just pretend ones--so it took both of them a while to settle into, to find their groove, but they’ve always done their best and Ashlyn thinks they make excellent parents. They have fun with Maddie which brings out their own silly, youthful sides but they discipline her when need be, creating the perfect balance between connecting with their daughter while still being her parents. As a kindergarten teacher, she sees the extremes far too often--pushover parents who give their children anything they want so the kids recoil when they’re told what to do in class and too strict parents who tend to have nervous children who are terrified of breaking rules or of getting hurt. At least so far, Maddie is neither of those and it makes Ashlyn feel like they’re doing something right.

 

She’s just about to flip to the most recent photos when her thoughts are interrupted by Maddie who comes down the stairs, yawning as she makes her way to the couch. She’s dragging her favorite blanket behind her with one hand and holds her stuffed shark in the other, looking so adorable that it completely melts Ashlyn’s heart, erasing all of her fears and worries about what tomorrow will bring. This is what matters--the tender moments like these with her daughter that aren’t defined by a piece of paper or a court ruling. This is why she’s even going through the adoption process, the assurance that she’ll have a lifetime of these moments.

 

“Whatcha doing, baby girl?” she asks. She takes Maddie onto her lap, gently wrapping her in her blanket as she cuddles her close.

 

“You not in bed,” Maddie says, voice raspy from sleep.

 

“I’m sorry, were you looking for me?”

 

Maddie nods, snuggling closer to Ashlyn’s chest. “Love you, Mama.”

 

“Love you too, sweetheart. So much. So, so much,” Ashlyn replies, kissing the top of Maddie’s head. She doesn’t seem to be sick or in pain, nor does she seem to be particularly upset like she’s just woken up from a nightmare. She simply seems to need a little extra cuddling from her Mama which Ashlyn is all too happy to give. Ashlyn shifts a little on the couch so she’s laying down with Maddie on her chest. It’s been one of their favorite sleep positions since Maddie was born and the both fall asleep easily, the baby books still lying open on the coffee table.

 

In the morning, Ashlyn wakes to sun streaming in through the living room curtains and the feeling of Maddie’s drool seeping through her shirt. She can hear Ali moving around the kitchen and watches as Maddie slowly starts to wake up. “Morning, sunshine,” she says softly. She runs a hand through Maddie’s rapidly growing hair as Maddie blinks in the early morning sun, getting her bearings.

 

“Oh, good, you’re up,” Ali says, coming into the living room. “Breakfast is ready then we need to start getting dressed.” She pauses, helping Ashlyn off the couch as Maddie runs off to use the bathroom. “How’d you end up down here?”

 

“Couldn’t sleep,” Ashlyn replies. “So I was flipping through her baby books and she came looking for me. I guess she needed to cuddle. How many pictures did you take of us?”

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Ali replies, playing innocent. “I don’t even know what a picture is,” she adds, eliciting a laugh from Ashlyn. “Okay, fine, maybe I took one or two or fifty--I don’t really know.”

 

“You’re cute,” Ashlyn says, pulling Ali in for a good morning kiss. “And good morning to you too, little one,” she adds, palming Ali’s belly with both hands. “Mama loves you.”

 

“He’s actually been pretty active this morning,” Ali notes as they make their way into the kitchen after ensuring that Maddie washed her hands after going to the bathroom. “I think he must know how excited I am.”

 

Despite all her focus on the hearing the night prior, Ashlyn hardly even thinks about it as they eat breakfast as a family. Maddie chatters away about her night while Ali mentions that she checked on them in the middle of the night when she woke up to use the bathroom and Ashlyn wasn’t in bed. She wanted to join the slumber party but at 23 weeks pregnant, she struggled to get comfortable on the other couch and reluctantly made her way back upstairs.

 

They talk about Christmas, asking Maddie what her favorite presents were. They talk about their plans for New Year's as if they won’t be doing exactly what they’ve done the last few years--a quiet night in as a family. There’s even a mini crisis as Maddie insists on using a regular glass instead of a training cup and ends up spilling cranberry apple juice down the front of her light blue nightgown. She immediately bursts into tears as Ali helps strip her of the garment, throwing it in the washing machine in an effort to get the stain out. It’s simply a normal morning in the Krieger household but as soon as they clean up and head upstairs to get ready, Ashlyn’s nerves return in full force.

 

“It’s okay,” Ali says, wrapping her wife in a hug. “There’s no way the judge won’t recognize how good you are for her. It’s going to be amazing and we’ll all get to celebrate after.”

 

“What if the judge says no?” Ashlyn asks quietly, hanging her head because she can’t ask that questions while meeting Ali’s eyes without crying.

 

“The judge will say yes,” Ali asserts, gently tilting Ashlyn’s head up so she can meet her eyes. “And if they don’t, we’ll figure out why and try again. But that won’t change the relationship you have with her--I won’t let it. We’re both Maddie’s moms and we’re equals in this no matter what the judge thinks.”

 

“You really are the best. You know that, right?”

 

“I know,” Ali replies, sassily tossing her hair over her shoulder. “Of course I’m the best--I carry our children for you.”

 

“Only one of many reasons why you're the best,” Ashlyn says, leaning in to kiss Ali. “Okay, let’s do this thing,” she says, stepping away from Ali to get ready, slipping into the dark grey suit she’s had selected for over a week.

 

\---

 

Ashlyn’s nerves dissipate as soon as the hearing begins. Judge Fischer is a sweet middle aged woman who seems thrilled to be presiding over their case, much like Mr. Anderson promised. Mr. Anderson guides them through the entire process, representing them and their family in front of the court. Although they’re allowed to sit at the large oak tables, Ashlyn stands proudly with Maddie on her hip through the entire proceedings while Ali stands next to them, one hand resting on Ashlyn’s lower back and the other on her bump.

 

First, Judge Fischer asks them about the specifics of their case, verifying their answers with the ones in their file. She makes notes on their file the entire time while a court reporter types the minutes. Once they go over the basics of the case, Judge Fischer adjusts her reading glasses and picks up a paper Ashlyn recognizes as her written statement. The only ones who have read the statement so far are them, their lawyer, and Judge Fischer so Ashlyn can hear their families sniffling in the gallery behind them as soon as the judge begins reading aloud.

 

> _To whom it may concern:_
> 
>  
> 
> _Until a few years ago, I thought the greatest honor of my life was being Alexandra Krieger’s best friend. That all changed when Madeline came into the picture. Ali (who is now my wife) and I grew up together. We’ve trudged through the toughest times in our lives and skated through the easy times, side by side no matter what. When she found out she was pregnant and was afraid of becoming a single mother, I decided to move in and raise Madeline with her. As much as I was playing the role of a supportive best friend, I knew that it was exactly where I was supposed to be._
> 
>  
> 
> _The first time we saw Madeline in an ultrasound, she was just the size of a blueberry but she already had a big hold on our hearts. I have loved my daughter from the moment I knew of her existence, which was well before I thought of myself as her mother. I was there for every doctor’s appointment and was in the hospital room when she took her very first breath. I cried the first time I held her and made a promise to be whatever she needed me to be. Whether my role was to be temporary or permanent, involved or laid back, I was ready (as ready as one can be for a baby, that is) and willing to do everything in my power to give both her and Ali the life they deserve._
> 
>  
> 
> _Madeline and I share a middle name. Ali surprised me by giving her my middle name, Michelle, on the day Madeline was born and I promised both of them that I would spend the rest of my life making her proud of having me as her namesake. It stands as the third nicest thing anyone has ever done for me (topped only by Ali letting me be Madeline’s mom and carrying our second baby) and I like to think that I’m making good on my promise._
> 
>  
> 
> _The first time Ali referred to me as Maddie’s mom after we started dating, I was overcome with love and pride. I’d often felt like I was Madeline’s mom from the start but to hear someone else, especially Ali, refer to me as such for the first time really validated those feelings and it was something I’ll never forget. It was a turning point in my relationship with both of them, one that I had waited a long time for._
> 
>  
> 
> _Nothing in the world compares to when I hear Madeline call me Mama or when she tells me she loves me. I taught her how to walk and talk and am guiding her, along with my wife and our families, in how to be a good person who loves and respects people for who they are. Even at her young age, Maddie is incredibly empathetic person who hates to see people sad or in pain. She’s bright and funny and beautiful, just like her Mommy. She’s sensitive and loves the ocean and loves to be cuddled, just like me. Sometimes, she's a little too sassy and stubborn for her own good, which she gets from both of us. She brings so much joy, love, and laughter into the world and I am honored to be her mom._
> 
>  
> 
> _I didn’t come into this thinking that Maddie was my daughter. All I knew was that my best friend needed someone and that I had the ability to provide the love and support she needed. I knew I loved Ali--that much has been a given in my life since I was six years old--and I knew I loved her baby just the same. Maybe things were always meant to happen this way. Maybe us playing house together as children was just practice for the real thing, though we certainly didn’t know it at the time. When Madeline came into the world, I saw Ali’s daughter. Somewhere along the way, I started seeing my own._
> 
>  
> 
> _For the last two and a half years, I’ve performed all the duties of a parent. I changed countless dirty diapers. I rocked her back to sleep in the middle of the night, ensuring that she was safe and happy despite my own exhaustion. I cuddle her when she’s tired and hold her when she cries. I take care of her when she’s sick and hold her hand when she’s scared, letting her know I’m always right there as I encourage her to make the world her own. I’ve also been there for the great moments, the moments of her life that mean everything to me and my wife. The moments that make the hard times worth it. The first time Ali felt her kick. Her first breath, so strong and powerful that it took my own breath away. The first time she laughed as Ali and I took turns making faces at her. Her first word which, naturally, was ‘mama’ (we were sitting next to each other so we’re still not sure which one it was directed towards which seems fitting). The first dance at our wedding, getting to share that moment with the two most important people in my life. And I’ve been there for all of the parts of her life that can’t quite be defined by a single moment. Her transition from baby to toddler to kid, her personality shining through more and more with each passing day. Watching her learn about the world around her, how to comfort people when they’re sad, how to make people laugh so hard their stomach hurts (both of which she seems to have a knack for). Teaching her about the ocean, watching her learn to love and appreciate it as I do. I’ve been there through it all, loving her more and more everyday as I help guide her through life._
> 
>  
> 
> _I always have and always will want what is best for my daughter. While the outcome of these proceedings will not change the way I feel about her or how I treat her, I firmly believe that the best thing for her is to officially and legally become my daughter._
> 
>  
> 
> _The greatest honor of my life is loving my wife, our daughter, and our unborn second child with my whole heart and, most of all, feeling that love in return._
> 
>  
> 
> _Regards,_
> 
> _Ashlyn Michelle Krieger_

 

“This is certainly one of the best cases I’ve ever seen,” the Judge says once she’s finished reading Ashlyn’s statement. “You clearly adore one another and your unconditional love and support for both Madeline and your wife is inspiring.”

 

“Thank you,” Ashlyn beams. “They make it easy to love them.”

 

“Do you know what your second baby is yet?”

 

Ashlyn nods, gently squeezing Ali’s hand. “It’s a boy,” she says, grinning.

 

“Well, both he and Madeline are lucky to have you as their mom,” Judge Fischer says. “Do you swear to fulfill all the duties of being Madeline’s parent for as long as you live?”

 

“I absolutely do.”

 

“Then I hereby declare on this, the twenty-seventh day of December, that you, Ashlyn Michelle Krieger, are now Madeline Michelle Krieger’s lawful, legal parent with all the rights and responsibilities therein. This hearing is adjourned.”

 

Ashlyn watches Judge Fischer bang the gavel once, twice, three times before she finally signs the official decree of adoption, making it officially official. Tears slide down her face as she holds Maddie tightly, letting everything sink in. She’s already thought of her as her daughter for so, so long but to finally get this moment is something she’ll never forget. In a way, the long road to this moment makes everything seem just a little bit sweeter. She knows first hand how hard it was to second guess her place in Maddie’s life so she breathes a sigh of relief now that she finally has full parental rights and responsibilities--both of which she takes on with joy.

 

“Mama, why you crying?” Maddie asks, looking concerned as she puts a hand to her mom’s cheek.

 

“Because I love you so much,” Ashlyn replies, kissing Maddie’s forehead. She and Ali both take a few steps forward to shake the Judge’s hand, thanking her for presiding over their case. Their families follow their lead, standing up from their seats and moving to shake Judge Fischer’s hand. She congratulates both sides of the family, especially Ashlyn’s, before they all take a photo together (Judge Fischer and their adoption attorney included alongside them and their family) to commemorate the occasion. When they’re done, they get a copy of the adoption decree while their lawyer gets another (so he can get the new birth certificate for them) and a third goes with the official court file. Once the paperwork is handled, they continue their quiet celebrations in the hallway.

 

“How does it feel, Mama?” Ali asks, beaming at Ashlyn. She holds Ashlyn’s free hand, playfully swinging it back and forth as they face each other.

 

“A little surreal,” Ashlyn replies. “She’s really my kid. Like, forever. How did I ever get so lucky?”

 

“It’s all because you tightened my ponytail in first grade,” Ali says.

 

Ashlyn starts crying again, pulling Ali close so she’s hugging both of her favorite girls. “We’ve built such an amazing life together, Alex, thanks for loving me and letting me be Maddie’s mom and for now making us a wonderful baby boy. I love you so much.”

 

“I love you too,” Ali replies, wiping her own tears away. She leans up to kiss Ashlyn, chaste in front of their families, but the emotion behind it is unmistakable. It wasn’t easy, finding out she was pregnant with Maddie. She didn’t think she was ready to be a mom and was terrified about the prospect of becoming a single mom but she always loved Maddie, even when she was scared. Loving Ashlyn and Maddie is the easiest thing she’s ever done and letting them love each other is even easier. Ashlyn is the best mom, spouse, and friend she could ever imagine and she’s immensely thankful that they’ve gotten to this point while they still have so much of their lives ahead of them--lives filled with love, laughter, children, and maybe a dog (if Ashlyn gets her way).

 

After wrapping things up at the courthouse, they head to one of Ashlyn’s favorite restaurants for a celebratory meal. Ashlyn assumed it would just be their immediate families, the ones who were with them for the hearing, and is surprised to find other friends and family waiting for them in a private room in the back. “Alex,” she breathes, taking in the sight of all their friends and family right in front of her.

 

“Surprise,” Ali says, grinning. “A lot of people wanted to celebrate with us so I figured this would be a good way to do it.”

 

“I love it and I love you,” Ashlyn replies, leaning in for a quick kiss. She takes Maddie’s hand and leads her around the room to greet everyone, smiling the entire time. It’s many of the same people who were there for the baby shower three years ago plus some new friends and a few kids who weren’t yet born when the shower took place (including Maddie herself). It’s everyone Ashlyn would want to celebrate with.

 

“Now who would’ve thought that you would have two kids before I even have one?” Whitney asks when she pulls Ashlyn into a hug.

 

“I certainly never would’ve guessed it,” Ashlyn replies. “You and Ryan have to catch up now so our kids can be best friends and, you know, it’s always nice for us to hang out with other people with kids.”

 

“Well, hopefully we’ll join the parents’ club in a couple of years,” Whitney replies, smiling. “You two will have to show us the ropes.”

 

“Oh, I’m sure we’d be more than willing to ship both kids off to Aunt Whit and Uncle Ryan’s for a few nights so you can practice. We can probably find something to do with our time.”

 

Ashlyn greets Catherine and Rachel next, both of whom are incredibly excited for her and Ali. They’ve actually become some of their closest friends in the last few years and Ashlyn is endlessly thankful to have them in their lives. The second time she met Catherine, just a few weeks after their tense first meeting, she pulled Catherine aside to apologize for the way she acted. She had no reason to take her frustration out on her but her feelings for Ali had been bottled up for so long that she got jealous seeing the two of them together. It’s no excuse, she admitted, and she would understand if Catherine didn’t want anything to do with her. She apologized profusely and Catherine was gracious enough to put it behind them, giving them a clean slate. Now Ashlyn can’t imagine their friend group without Catherine and Rachel.

 

Ashlyn greets everyone in the room and thanks them all for their support through this whole process before she finally takes a seat at the table next to Ali and Maddie. Maddie is a little hyper as they eat, excited by the celebratory mood in the room, but everyone seems to enjoy her energy as she chatters through the meal, saying everything that comes to her mind.

 

The meal is the perfect way to celebrate with friends and family but when it’s over, Ashlyn is excited to get back home and have some quiet time with their little family of three. After not getting too much sleep and all the excitement of the morning and afternoon, she can’t think of anything she wants more than to cuddle with her family.

 

When they finally do get home and have a bit of quiet as Maddie goes down for her nap, both Ashlyn and Ali become very reflective as they think about the last few years. Their lives have changed so much in so many wonderful ways that it almost seems crazy as they talk through everything. There are still changes ahead, namely the birth of their son and Maddie starting preschool in September, but they feel ready for everything that’s coming.

 

Ali lays on her side with her head in Ashlyn’s lap as they chat. “Can I ask you a question? A serious question? I promise I won’t get mad no matter what your answer is.”

 

“Of course,” Ashlyn replies gently, waiting for Ali to continue.

 

“Do you feel different about this pregnancy than you did with Maddie? Like do you feel any different going into this knowing you’re the baby’s mom?” Her voice is quiet, as if she’s afraid to ask such a question but it’s well thought out and Ashlyn wonders just how long she’s wanted to ask. When she doesn’t answer quickly enough, Ali continues, “I’m just curious because I obviously feel the same as I did last time, maybe a little more relaxed, but I figured it might be different for you.”

 

“Honestly,” Ashlyn begins, still thinking through her answer, “I felt just as connected to Maddie. I guess the only real difference is not second guessing my place or whether or not I should feel as connected to this baby as I do--if that makes sense. Like, I always kind of felt like Maddie was mine and sometimes I had to remind myself that I was just helping you out. I mean, you remember how much I used to read to her while you were pregnant. Then after she was born, I would sneak into her room and just hold her at night. I would stay up late holding her in the rocking chair as she slept.”

 

“You did?” Ali questions, looking touched that Ashlyn would do something like that.

 

Ashlyn grins. “All the time. I would stay up and just talk to her and I kind of felt like I was talking to my own kid, like she was always meant to be mine. Now she is mine and so is this new baby and I don’t feel any different about them--they’re both my babies.” She pauses, smiling down at Ali as she plays with her hair. “Speaking of, how’s my baby boy doing?”

 

“He’s good,” Ali says, resting her hand on her bump. “He’s actually kicking right now.”

 

Ashlyn smiles, putting a hand to Ali’s belly where she can see their son’s tiny foot moving underneath Ali’s skin. They daydream together about what he will be like--what his personality will be like and if he’ll look more like Ali or their donor. The laugh about some of the funny things Maddie said at lunch, talk about all the people who were there to celebrate the adoption. They talk about their theories for the new show they’ve started watching on Netflix. They talk about little things and big things, moving from topic to topic with ease. They trade back massages and joke about how boring they are, knowing they wouldn’t want it any other way. They eventually nap themselves, taking advantage of the last twenty or so minutes before Maddie wakes up.

 

The rest of the day passes like every other weekend for the little family. Per her request, they take Maddie to the park after her nap. Ashlyn pushes her on the swing, smiling at Maddie’s giggles while Ali swings next to her, acting like it’s a competition.

 

“Higher, Mama,” Maddie squeals, trying to beat Ali.

 

Ashlyn counts to three before giving Maddie a big push, propelling her high while Ali swings close to the ground. “Look at you,” Ashlyn cheers. “We beat Mommy, didn’t we?”

 

“Aw man,” Ali playfully grumbles, slowing her momentum with her feet. She only pauses for long enough to get a drink of water before she’s swinging again, her long dark hair trailing behind her as she pretends she can’t beat Maddie again. They eventually trade places as Ali takes the spot behind Maddie and Ashlyn takes the swing, acting like she can’t swing as high as her either.

 

Satisfied with beating both of her moms on the swings, Maddie soon leads them over the the playground. Ali takes pictures and videos from the ground as Ashlyn and Maddie play above her and ride the slides together, both having just as much fun as the other--though, if she had to pick, she’d day that Ashlyn is enjoying it a little more (she often jokes that Ashlyn is as much of a kid as Maddie is).

 

They go for ice cream after the park, a little reward for Maddie being so good at the hearing earlier. She gets her own small cup of ice cream but still insists on sharing with both of her moms, alternating between her own strawberry ice cream, Ashlyn’s chocolate chip cookie dough, and Ali’s peanut butter cup.

 

Compared to the morning, the rest of the day is so normal that Ashlyn almost forgets they had the hearing until they’re tucking Maddie into bed that night. When Maddie asks for a story, there’s no question in her mind what one she wants to tell. Ali sits right beside her, beautiful and glowing as always as she launches into her story. “Once upon a time there were two girls--”

 

“Princesses, Mama,” Maddie demands, interrupting Ashlyn.

 

“Of course,” Ashlyn replies gently. “Once upon a time there were two princesses who were best friends and who loved playing house together. The dark haired princess, Princess Alexandra, was so pretty and nice that the blonde princess, princess Ashlyn, did whatever she wanted because Princess Ashlyn was happy whenever princess Alexandra was happy.” She continues telling Maddie the abridged version of their lives, often with help from Ali, until she gets to present day, talking about how Queen Ashlyn got to adopt Princess Madeline in front of all their friends and family, making both her and Queen Alexandra the happiest mommies in the whole kingdom. Maddie listens attentively, reacting to the story and the inflection of Ashlyn’s voice.

 

“I Princess Madeline,” she says when the story is over, still fighting sleep.

 

“You are,” Ali confirms gently. “I’m Queen Alexandra and Mama is Queen Ashlyn.”

 

“Baby?” Maddie asks, pointing to Ali’s belly.

 

“The baby is a Prince,” Ali replies, grinning.

 

“Love you, Mommy,” Maddie says, finally closing her eyes.

 

“Love you too, sweetie.”

 

“Love you, Mama,” Maddie whispers, already teetering on the verge of sleep.

 

“Love you too, my sweet baby girl.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's all she wrote (jk there are still the one shots to come). The first one will introduce baby boy Krieger so I'll get that one up sometime this week. 
> 
> Soooo, did it live up to expectations? I struggled to hold it together as I was writing and editing the statement so I'm curious to know if it made you guys emotional ;) 
> 
> The last scene is something I had planned from the moment I had the idea and it's actually a full circle moment from the first chapter (in case you hadn't already noticed :P ) so I'd love to know what you think about that as well! 
> 
> Also, would you prefer for the one shots to be all added to a single work as different chapters so they're all together or separate works? I'm debating about how to do it so it might help to read your opinions. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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